I refuse to love you again

"Ysabelle... Ysabelle... Ysabelle..." a gentle and soothing voice greets Ysabelle from her slumber, with one of his hands also caressing her hair. He put the fallen group of her locks behind her ear and continued to chant her name lovingly until she wakes up.

The receiver of such attention has long been awakened, however, she couldn't bear to open her eyes because she knew that the moment she does, she would just cry on the spot.

She misses him. She misses hearing that gentle voice directed at her. She misses the warm attention that only he can give to her that would make her feel special.

Slowly, she opens her eyes. Her heart beats so fast as the face that she's been longing to see appears before her. He's smiling brightly at her as if he's staring at a precious gem. Like how it has always been whenever she wakes up at another lifetime. He would always be there, with a smile plastered at his face.

Suddenly, the tears that she tried so hard to hold back fell.

"I should be used to this. fck. I hate you." she said in a whisper in the middle of her tears. The man in front of her in complete chaos, he didn't know what he did that triggered her to cry. He immediately searched for something to wipe her tears, however, in panic, he just wrapped her hands in her cheeks and wiped the salty liquid from her eyes with his thumbs.

He thought that with this, she would calm down but his actions only made her cry more. So, he decided to pull her in his arms and envelop her in his warmth until all her tears dry up. Like before, this only made Ysabelle cry more but she wrapt her arms back at him and squeezed him tight, as if afraid of losing him.

Being back in his arms once again made Ysabelle sad. She recalls all the time that they had in her three lifetimes.

He would always be hers first. He would always make her feel like the luckiest woman first. She would always be his love first. However, soon, a new woman would come. She would sweep him off his feet and make him feel a love that she could never give. In the three lifetimes that she lived. Ysabelle would always watch the man that she loves, get stolen from her by the same woman.

In those lifetimes she tried everything just to have him back. But, like a rotten joke, she would always lose. After the third try, she realized something.

She and he just aren't meant to be.

As the tears continuously fell down her cheeks, with his warmth all around her skin and his hands gently caressing her back to calm her down, Ysabelle was only thinking of one thing.

"This time, I refuse to love you again."