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I Love You So Desperately

"I would rather never get forgiven by you, if it means I won't get forgotten by you" He said holding Kashish tightly in his arms. He felt like if he loosens his arms now he will lose her forever. When Kashish faces rejection her whole life she loses her faith in love; her anger and pain do not let her live her life fully. Her past always haunts her and her hatred for her past never lets her forget it. So when life plays with her again and brings her back to face her past; what will she do? Its a story about love and healing. And about how time sets everything right.

fAITHinmeQueenB · Urban
Not enough ratings
17 Chs

Chapter 10

Kashish's POV

Sun has lit up in sky indicating another day, it has been days since I cooked dishes for the birthday boy. I thought he would reject as I believed that the riches standard doesn't meet our canteen ones but maybe he ate only because his grandma had insisted. Again today I reach the company alone as Babli has stopped coming because Dimple has started back her shift also the event catering has got new contract and Babli is helping Parvaan so that nothing goes wrong.

I walk in the building and stand along with other employees waiting for the lift. I stand staring forward not paying attention to the on going whispering. The lift opens and I enter ahead, I press the button to my floor, I notice other employees aren't boarding with me. Before I could realize the lift closes to my face, I stand confuse generally at this hour elevators are always full packed. Suddenly a hand comes to my view it reaches out and presses the 25th floor button that is the top floor.

I turn behind to see that I am not alone and I am accompanied by an single person and that is none other than Ashvik Veer Singhania. I quickly turn back and nervously fidget with my bag.

"Thanks for the food for the other day" his deep voice rings in the empty lift. "It was my duty" I say coherently not wanting to mistakenly blurt any extra unnecessary words. His presence itself makes me frantic and I don't know why, it's not like he will remember my face it was a long time back when we knew each other.

"So where did you learn to cook?" his question freezes me, I stop fidgeting fully aware of his curious eyes for my reply. "From my mother" I answer which is partly true. "What is your age? Aren't you suppose to be somewhere else other than working in a mere canteen?" his queries annoys me, is he belittling canteen workers. "I love cooking and I like working in canteen's kitchen that is why I am here" I try to make my reply as short as it could be.

"What piqued your interest in cooking?" again another inquiry is been thrown at me, but this time the question really strings my wires. I clench my handbag tightly uncomfortable with the question. But what is more uncomfortable is the answer which I never in hundred years is gonna give away to him. "My mother" I flat out lie this time because how can I tell him the truth. My whole existence is a lie right now so how can I tell him the truth it would easily give away my past identity. The lift opens up for my floor and I scurry away without looking back. As soon I feel I am out of his view, I exhale loudly his random interest to my cooking background is weird. Also his last question really caught me off guard his question was not that odd but what will be odd will be when I reply. How can I tell a man who doesn't know me that my interest in cooking started because of your mother.

Clock strikes sharp 12:30 pm and the lunch starts, my duty finishes so I take a seat behind the counter. "Where is Kashish?" I hear Prakash uncle. "I am here" I respond while standing from my seat. "There you are. You know tomorrow is holi right" I nod at his words "So tomorrow we as a family are invited to Singhania's mansion for holi festival. I want you to join us with your mother". My voice gets stuck in my throat "Who invited us?" it is the only word that I can utter out at that moment.

"Mrs. Indulekha Singhania! She wanted to thank us for that day" Prakash uncle leaves after informing me and doesn't give me the opportunity to decline. I sit down defeated, what is happening? Everything is going opposite of what I am thinking.

The next day finally comes, although I am opposed to go but I could not decline Prakash uncle also Babli is super excited and I don't want to spoil her mood. I am sitting in car with my mother in back seat and Babli is at the front seat with Parvaan driving. Prakash uncle and Jamuna aunty is riding with Mr. Gill in their car I didn't really understand the addition of Mr.Gill in our visit was he also invited?. "Today will be the day I will get to see my Dil Trinity in full form. It has been my long time wish" Babli has been in clouds since yesterday, she made an urgent shopping at last moment, she told me she have to look the best so that she can gain their attention. As for me I am wearing my regular anarkali salwar suit which is white in color.

"You try to be calm, at this rate of enthusiasm you will probably embarrass yourself. They won't even give you second glance so stop dreaming" Babli's mouth twitches in annoyance at Parvaan's words. Parvaan shrugs his shoulders ignoring Babli's pissed off face. "But Kashish doesn't look that thrilled to me. Are you fine? You have been spacing out frequently" Parvaan's worried face is reflected in the front mirror ."I slept less last night, so I am little tired" my reply is short. My mother gives me a concerned look, I know she is having her doubts but I believe it is best to not tell her yet.

Soon our car enter a sophisticated neighborhood, all the house look costly and elegant. We enter in the deeper section of the neighborhood and my anxiety rises to its peak.

Finally we see an white colored mansion, I recognize it immediately about eleven years has passed but I still remember it like I visited yesterday. "Oh my god, that's a huge mansion. I have seen it only in TV and magazines" Babli claps with excitement.

We park the car and continue in our foot, I stop in between letting the others go ahead. At this moment I am submerge in lots of emotion which I can't even express, I can't let my mother get any hint about my altering emotion. I exhale deeply and try to plaster a smile.

Prakash uncle and Jamuna aunty joins us on the way along with Mr. and Mrs. Gill. There is a huge celebration going on at the manor and there is lots of faces, I can see some of office employees too. "Welcome Prakash" Mrs. Indulekha Singhania greets us warmly, "Glad you could make it", her eyes darts around and stops at me "Kashish, oh my! Glad you came. Thank you so much for that day".

"My pleasure" I smile genuinely, that day I didn't realize but I am acquainted to Indulekha grandma she has aged which conflicted my thoughts but after seeing her in this grandeur environment I can guarantee it that I remember her vaguely. Soon a man joins her "This is my husband" Indulekha grandma introduces her husband "Hi I am Prithviraj Veer Singhania". This faces which I thought is lost in my close book of memories is still very much there but blurry which is painful. "My other family members are there in the celebration but I lost all of them. I will introduce them once I spot them till then enjoy" Indulekha grandma brightly encourages us and they leave to greet other guest.

Hesitantly we join the celebration, "I am feeling sort of uneasy" I frankly state to Babli "Me too. I have never been in rich people's party. Are we even invited?" she replies her enthusiasm getting dissipated looking at all the sophisticated guest "There is rarely any known faces. The only known ones are the higher ranks of the company" her each word is opposite of those that she said before coming here.

"Oh my god they are here" the high pitch squealing and whispering brings us to notice the reason of the ruckus. There is three man entering the celebration area and the one standing in center is Ashvik.

I scowl at the ladies reaction, they together walks in like a entry scene of a movie, did they plan it or what? I question to myself. They walk and occupy the seat in the drinking area, my scowl grows with each passing time. "Wow!" Babli exclaims "My wish finally came true I got to see my Dil trinity" she fakes a emotional cry.

I sigh at her over dramatic acting, "Stop it, my drama queen". she pouts at my comment, I stare at their direction again. I know Ashvik but about those two I am not sure but I am having a familiar feeling and that is so very not good.

"Welcome our lovely guest. Today is an holi celebration and I would like to thank everyone who became part of our celebration. As we know today is an great day and I Hemangi Singhania has a great news for everyone. And for that I would like to call on the stage my awesome brothers Dil Trinity" the guests cheers loudly with the host's words, three of them walks to the podium.

"Please clap your hands for Ashvik Veer Singhania, Ranvit Agarwal and Nihal Chandekar. Our great Dil Trinity" the cheers becomes more louder with an loud clapping. I clench my salwar tightly my hinge was correct, they are still together the ones who are one of the reason for my bitter past. I grit my teeth in anger but still continue to watch the scene unfolding in front of me.

"And the good news is that our Ranvit bro is getting married" Hemangi announces and a again loud cheers booms in the area. Ranvit waves lazily appearing uninterested, but Nihal is clapping wildly with Ashvik having bored expression. Suddenly Ashvik makes an eye contact with me he stares at me with an face I can't comprehend, feeling nervous I break the stare. "Babli I am feeling stuffy, I will go elsewhere to have a fresh air" I make up an excuse to leave the suffocating atmosphere.

I walk alone in the other side of garden area that is not occupied by the other guest. It has been years but I still could remember all the parts of this grand manor. I see an empty bench and decide to rest a bit, I try to calm myself by breathing in and breathing out.

"Are you alone baby doll?" a voice gains my attention, I see a drunk man has taken a seat beside me. He is so drunk that he is basically slurring his words, I rise up not willing to deal with any drama. But he grabs my wrist, I tug my hand to loosen his grip. But he is a strong man after even being intoxicated, he tries pulling me towards him. He is exuding a smell of alcohol, I scrunch my nose in annoyance. My anger explodes and I push him in full force, he falls on the ground "Don't you dare touch me". I try to depart from the scene and turns my back on him but the man gets up hurriedly "Where do you think you are going?" he extends his hand trying to grab my shoulders but he loses his balance and instead pulls my salwar's back dori my tied knot loosens. I stop startled at his action.

I turn in anger "What do you think you are doing?", instead of replying he laughs amusingly "What do you think?". Before I can comeback at him he throws gulal at me which he was carrying all along. The gulal directly hits my face and enters my eyes. My eyes starts burning I can't open my eyes "Ah" it is the only response I can give. I hear the voice of the man laughing while I still can't open my eyes.

gulal- powdered color used in holi festival

dori- lace used for fastening the back of the salwar