When Someone Believes In You

I know I shouldn't be coming with him to Seoul. But I have no intention of staying in Ilsan either. Besides, no matter how I try to tell him to go back to Seoul, he won't 'cos he still want to be with me. Not me, actually. But Sun Hee. And Sun Hee doesn't have any reason to say in Ilsan anymore so we decide to take the train and head to Seoul, with me getting excited again to see places I've never been before and, if I'm lucky, to see the rest of BTS members for free.

In the train, my head suddenly feels dizzy that I almost feel asleep. But I slap my face and force my eyes to open. I can't fall asleep now, because if I do, I might wake up in my own body again. And I know it's the right thing to do since Sun Hee must be back soon, but I am not ready to be awake yet. I'm still enjoying this moment, 'cos it doesn't happen all the time. I won't be having this moment again once I wake up.

Seokjin notices me. "You should sleep." he says. "I want Sun Hee to be back as soon as she can ."

"I don't feel sleepy yet," I lie. We're actually sitting side by side in the train, and I'm not so sure if he's convinced with my lie but he doesn't say anything about it anyway.

Time rolls by quickly. I look out through the window and see the sun almost setting behind a few buildings, casting orange light all over the city.

I can feel my eyes getting heavier now. I don't know why I feel sleepy, it's not even night time yet.

But I force my eyes open and focus on watching the scenes rolling like a cinema outside the window. We pass the city of Ilsan now and we're already at the outskirts of Seoul. I can see the small buildings huddle beside each other and as the train progresses on its journey the buildings are getting bigger and taller.

My other eye catches a glimpse of a man wearing a cap and walking on the aisle of the train. He is holding a cup of something and suddenly trips on my feet. I almost jump in surprise as the liquid from his cup spills over my shirt.

He bows at me and utters and apology. I can hardly see his face because of the cap he's wearing but when he raises his head, I stare at him really hard because I know who he is. Surprise spreads through my nerves as I calculate the odds of meeting him here.

"Namjoon?" Seokjin speaks beside me while looking at the man.

The man narrows his eyes at him. "Jin-hyung?" he asks, unable to believe what he's seeing.

They stare at each other as if confirming if they are right. Then Seokjin says, "How did you find me?" His words filled with guilt.

Namjoon raises his eyebrows. "What are you talking about? I wasn't looking for you," he answers.

"Then why are you here?"

"Isn't that obvious? I'm on my way to Seoul."

Seokjin clears his throat, as if insulted. "I mean, have you been to Ilsan as well? We didn't see you back there. What did you do there?"

"Hyung, did you forget or something?" Namjoon asks as if the answer to that question is the most obvious thing in the world. "I live in Ilsan, remember?" he adds.

I shouldn't be surprise. As a fangirl, I know where he lives. He even wrote it on one of their songs.

Ilsan is the place where I wanna die... The city of the flower, the city of Mon.

Yeah, I can still remember the lyrics of that song. How could I forget?

But seeing him here is kind of surprising. Who would expect that he would just appear out of nowhere?

"I came home because it's my mom's birthday," Namjoon explains. Then he drifts his eyes to me, studying me from head to toe.

I smile at him. He's the second BTS member I met today. For free.

I try to be polite, knowing he's the leader of BTS and all.

"Hi," I say.

The Namjoon that's in front of me now is different from the Namjoon I saw in televisions and videos before. This Namjoon is very lean and young. He doesn't color his hair yet and his arms are very long and thin.

He eyes me, maybe trying to remember who I am.

Then it dawns on him. "Ah! Sun Hee-shi?" he says while pointing a finger at me.

I just nods my head, realizing that Sun Hee must have met him before.

Seokjin clears his throat and explain something before Namjoon gets the wrong idea. "I didn't run away," he says. "I just took some time off."

Namjoon looks at him, the anger in his eyes is visible but he softens after a while, knowing that I am here and we're inside the train bound for Seoul.

"Hyung, Don't ever do that again," he warns Seokjin. "Do you have any idea how close we are to accomplishing our dreams? We might debut soon, so don't even try to do something stupid. Understand?"

Seokjin lowers his head. "I know," he says. "But I just think I'll never make it. There are other trainees more talented than me. They might make it. What can I do anyway? I can't even dance."

Here he goes again, babbling about things and stuffs that he can't do to become a superstar. If only he knows...

One day, he's gonna be famous and he'll regret it if he doesn't follow the path that's already laid ahead for him.

Namjoon senses his doubts. The anger that once lingered in his eyes has vanished. "Hyung, that's why we're training, right? To practice our skills and to get better with it? You'll make it. I promise."

I nod my head at that. I never realized before that Seokjin must have so many insecurities and doubts before he debut. It's strange to think since all I ever see whenever I look at him before is perfection. I guess he wasn't really that perfect as I thought he is, but that only makes me like him even more.

I smile while thinking about that. I look at Namjoon and see that he's smiling too. I think he's trying to convince him and it's really nice of him to do that.

One thing I know about Namjoon is that he was the one who chose Seokjin to be part of his team. So I guess he did believe in him, and many years later, Seokjin proved him right. I may not know the reasons why but I'm sure Namjoon didn't regret in choosing him.

"Alright, Hyung," Seokjin finally states. He looks at Namjoon with determination this time. "I'm going back to Seoul with Sun Hee. I'm going to train with you again, and Sun Hee... Sun Hee will.."

He trails off, not really knowing what to say. Even I don't know what to say.

I'll go to Seoul, meet BTS, and then sleep and wake up to my own reality. That's my plan as Sunny.

But for Sun Hee, it must be different.

She'll go to Seoul, probably meet BTS, and then what? Audition again? Until she become an actress?

I know it's not my problem anymore since I'll be returning to my own body soon, but I can't help thinking about it.

She'll probably wake up tomorrow wondering why she's in Seoul and she probably think of what she's going to do there. It's not my own business to care but I'm curious. What will happen to her and Seokjin?

"I'll think about it," is all I've managed to say.

Namjoon looks at me silently and I try to broaden what I'm really trying to mean. "Once we get in Seoul. I'll think about it."

Seokjin also looks at me, and I know he understands. "Yeah. She'll think about it," he adds. "We'll both think about it."

And that settles it. At least for a while.

Namjoon smiles and composes himself, stretching his knuckles and back. "Good," he says. "See you then."

We both return the smiles and nod in agreement.

Namjoon returns to his seat in the train after apologizing the damage he has done on my shirt. It turns out he was drinking coffee in the train and he goes ahead holding an empty cup. I have to go to bathroom to clean the stains on my shirt so I make my way through the train and into the bathroom at the end of the aisle.

Once inside, I change into a purple shirt which I have managed to pull out from Sun Hee's baggage and wash my face. I look into the mirror and see the reflection of myself.

Never have I thought that I could be as beautiful as the girl I see in the mirror. She seems flawless. Her skin looks white and shining.

I touch my face and feels the softness of my cheeks. My lips are perfectly red and amazing.

I didn't look like this when I'm myself. I mean, when I'm Sunny.

Although our faces look exactly the same, I know I couldn't be as beautiful as her. It was like having a twin, a beautiful and gorgeous twin who shines radiantly. Whom one will prefer better than me. A beautiful version of me.

I have to thank her for letting me experience the life she had. It's more than I could ever ask for. I have to go back now. She deserves this life. This is her life anyway.

Seokjin is hers. She will love him more than I could ever do. She could give him the world and everything. What can I do anyway? I'm merely a fan who gets lucky enough to live the fairytale that every fans dreamed of.