020

I always hated myself. When I was just a kid, people always told me they were afraid of me, that I was creepy and not even human. They wanted to see rage, love, me being happy, afraid, feel anything at all. Even hate would have been enough. The only ones who didn't try to force emotions on me were my parents.

Apparently they were really important and respected as scientists. My father worked as a theoretical physicist and my mother was a highly renowned biologist, at least until they changed. They loved me, they really did. They loved me so much, that they stood up for me, when everyone was seeing me as unnatural. Changing their jobs to go into the psychology field, we couldn't afford to live in our house anymore and we moved to an apartment near the docks.

At that time I couldn't understand what was going on, but despite what everyone said, I actually had a feeling. I don't remember when it developed, but it always resonates with me. Self-hatred. My parents didn't know about this, but the more our lives changed because of my lack of human emotions, that feeling deep inside of me just grew stronger.

When I was five I tried to kill myself. I was smart enough to know what that means, what consequences it would have, but despite that, I still tried. I climbed on the roof of our apartment building and jumped. While falling, I felt happy.

That was the second emotion I ever had. It came from my attempted suicide. Of course it didn't work out and I survived, which was in turn just more fuel for my self-hatred.

And then it happened. One day a car crash killed both my parents. During the funeral everyone cried, everyone except me. Not one my relatives wanted me, thus I was transferred to an orphanage. On that day, my whole family died to me.

A few years later, after I had trained to become a killer, I learned something. During my final exam, during the murder of my friends, that had become my new family over the years, I could feel it. This complete hate directed towards myself. I never had felt this strongly before. I always thought my self-hatred or the happiness during my suicide attempt were real emotions, but it was nothing compared to me murdering my sister.

But that wasn't everything. After working for the director, I killed many humans and I always felt different, depending who my victim was. I almost became addicted, however with each time I increased the number of my victims, my self-hatred grew. I couldn't even enter my own head without feeling this enormous pain. So I trained myself to not think about anything like that at all. I became cold and calculating, that way I was able to suppress my emotions...

Until that faithful day I met Melody Harm. She broke the barrier in my head but instead of this pain overwhelming me, I felt something new. I was fascinated, maybe that was also a reason why I decided to help her. The more time I spend with her, the less I hate myself. She is able to change me. Is this good? Is that something I want? I don't even know what I feel towards her... Is it love? Admiration that she is able to get into my head and fix me? I don't know... But whatever it is, I don't want it to stop...

- Jack? Are you in here?

Melody entered the bedroom, where Jack had been lying on the bed, thinking about what was happening to himself. Melody had two cups of hot chocolate with her and kindly smiled at Jack.

- What is it, shouldn't you be having lessons with Elisabeth right now?

- Ah no, we are done for the day. And I thought I could make some hot chocolate for the two of us. That is if you even like hot chocolate.

- Well, I do actually. It reminds me of my childhood.

- That's great, then I will just leave it here for you to enjoy and take my leave...

- Wait, why don't you stay?

- Huh?

Melody looked at him with a look of confusion, but overall she seemed happy about this invitation. She sat down next to Jack on the bed, handing over the cup to Jack. There they sat in silence, drinking their cups of hot chocolate. Jack thought that he should probably say something, but Melody was faster than him.

- I love you. I really mean it.

There it was again. This feeling Jack couldn't classify. He didn't know what it was, did he feel the same, did she lie, was this all just to keep him working for her? He looked at Melody, who apparently just realized what she said and began to blush.

It must be a lie, how can anyone come to love me? I don't believe a thing she is saying. But her blush... No, it's all a lie.

- Why do you keep lying? I would like to know.

He could practically see the frustration and anger growing in Melody as she began to yell at him.

- I AM NOT LYING!!!! Why would I say such an embarrassing thing if it wasn't the truth. When will you get that into your head your idiot!

Jack had never seen her like that before, but he began to yell right back at her.

- WHY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS WORK?! IT WON'T, I LITERALLY SHOT AT YOU, YET YOU ARE STILL SAYING SUCH STUPID THINGS. I AM NOTHING BUT A MONSTER, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE ME!

- NO IT ISN'T, I DO LOVE YOU!

Jack felt anger. Why wouldn't she just accept defeat?

- STOP, I AM GETTING REALLY ANGRY!

- GOOD, MAYBE THEN YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU AREN'T A MONSTER; BUT A HUMAN BEING WHO HAS BEEN MISTREATED.

Jack threw his cup against the wall, shattering it. The sound was loud and very sudden, yet Melody didn't flinch one bit. She just continued to glare at him.

- Jack, I love you. I know that you aren't a good human, but you are my reason for not falling into this pit of despair. I want you to see what I see, I want you to change.

- Fuck... You want me to change... For your own selfish reason? Tell me, what is the real reason?

He looked at her with defeated eyes. He was just tired of it all. He was only seventeen and despite that he had lived through so much. He couldn't keep up anymore, he just wanted to know the real reason Melody did it.

- Yes, I do it for myself. You are the reason I am still standing strong. And I will change you so that you are able to love yourself. I will make this work, I don't care if we aren't actually together, someday we will be and I won't let you silence me like before. If necessary I will fight for both of us.

After hearing that Jack began to laugh. She did it because she actually loved him? Because he was her reason for continuing?

- Why are you laughing you idiot... I will make this work... wait... JACK YOU ARE LAUGHING!!!!

She was right. Jack really felt joy, actual happiness. Maybe she could really do it, change Jack to a normal person. He had tried for so long, he had already lost hope, yet she did it. Maybe that was the reason. He was now certain about it.

- Mel, I came to a conclusion. I also love you. I may not be a good person, but I want you to take care of me, in turn I will do my best to make sure to save you from yourself. You won't fall into despair anymore. I am going to make sure to always be there for you.

Melody stared at him, with a face Jack couldn't interpret. Was that happiness, love, astounding or relief of actually having made it? Before coming to a conclusion, Melody leaned forward and kissed him. But this time Jack didn't freeze, instead he kissed her back, feeling her soft lips pressed against his own, he felt the love overcoming him.

Their kissing became wilder, until Melody and Jack began undressing. He looked at her naked body. His thoughts went wild, but one thing he was certain of: He fell in love with an angel. Melody didn't seem as shy as before. She had a clear goal in mind, and she pursued it.

That night Jack and melody became one, changing each other forever. Melody had influenced Jack into seeing the good things life had to offer, while Jack had in turn given Melody someone who would never leave her side, someone she could hold on until she overcame her despair that resided deep within her.

- What do we tell Elisabeth?

Melody was comfortably cuddling Jack, while lying in his arms. Her fingers gently stroked over Jacks scars on his chest. She hadn't thought about that until now, but he was right. They needed to be careful with that topic around Elisabeth.

- Hmm, I don't think she will be too fond, it would be better to keep it as a secret from her, don't you think so?

- Sooner or later she will find out anyway. But okay, let's keep it as a secret for now. I love you Mel.

- I love you too Jack.

With that they fell asleep, cuddling with each other while having sweet dreams.

- So, tell me what happened? Why do you two look so happy, did something good happen last night?

Elisabeth was mocking the two of them, while they were sitting at the dinner table, having breakfast together.

Calm down Melody, we agreed to keep it secret, so I will just stay silent and play it of as a joke. Jack will come up with a good excuse I am sure of it.

- Oh that's because we had sex last night.

Jack was saying it with a straight face, continuing to eat, however Elisabeth let go of her fork that fell down on her plate, making a loud noise, while Melody choked on her toast.

- You two did WHAT???!!!!!!

Elisabeth turned into a beast, furiously shouting. And while Melody had know idea how to handle the situation, Jack remained calm and began to speak to Elisabeth.

- Relax, you set us up anyway didn't you? You always do those little tricks, you even put us into the same bedroom, even though the other guest rooms are just fine. So what's the big deal?

- YOU ARE ONLY SEVENTEEN!!! YOU ARE UNDER MY ROOF!!! I DECIDE WHEN IT IS A BIG DEAL OR NOT AND THIS IS -

But before she could finish her sentence, Melody interrupted her, yelling at Jack with a face, turned red of embarrassment.

- I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO NOT TELL HER JACK!!

- Ohhhh, so that's what you meant. I thought you were talking about me breaking Elisabeth's favourite cup!

- YOU BROKE WHAT??!!

While Melody and Elisabeth both began to yell at Jack, he just sat there at the table, brightly smiling at the two of them.

- You know, I always wanted this. A family sitting together, arguing over the smallest things. I truly am feeling happy right now.

Elisabeth was even more confused than she was before.

- Wait so you fuck my daughter once and now you are a new person?! Want to take this outside Jack, because I swear I will kill you and I really don't want the new carpet to get blood stains.

Now Melody tried to persuade Elisabeth to calm down, while Jack was continuing to eat his breakfast. It was an unusual group, that was for sure, but Jack wished this could go on forever.

And if we would have known what was to come, he would have done everything so it would really be a moment lasting for eternity, however not even Jack could foresee the cruel future awaiting him.