Chapter 3 – Fear

As I mentioned earlier, handle children is not my specialty. So, at this moment, I don't know where to start.

"You know, in the Tohsaka family, your mother and sister are still waiting for you. They surely want to meet you." I deliberately didn't mention her father. So, I'm not lying here; it would be troublesome if she wants to meet her father. Although, if I remember correctly, there doesn't seem to be much sentiment between Sakura and Tokiomi.

"I don't want to... They abandoned me... Left me... I don't want to." Her voice trembled as she said that; if I insist, I'm sure she'll cry right now. And handle a crying child is even more troublesome.

"Alright, ok, I won't take you to the Tohsaka residence." I sighed reluctantly.

All the plans I had thought of before need major revisions. On the other hand, I haven't even prepared an alternative or Plan B.

What should I do now?

How do I go from Japan to Germany without ID? I don't know.

Maybe there are options like fake IDs, but the problem is I don't even know how to get one.

This is troublesome.

Should I leave her at an orphanage? Maybe go to the countryside and find an orphanage there? Well, let's keep this plan as an option if I don't come up with a better plan.

For now, there's nothing I can do. Maybe some fresh air outside would help. Plus, I haven't opened Zouken's mission reward yet. With that in mind, I stood up and headed out.

"I'll be out for a bit. Do whatever you want; I'm leaving all these books here. There's also a TV you can use." With that, I stood up and was about to leave before a small hand grabbed a part of my shirt.

So, I turned to her with a clear question mark on my face.

Sakura didn't answer, still keeping her head down.

"..."

"..."

The silence continued before I couldn't hold it any longer.

"What?"

"Don't... Leave me..." her voice choked. Well, this time, she's really crying.

"I'm not leaving you; I'm just going to the store for a bit. I'll be back soon. Be good and wait for me here, okay?" I replied as gently as possible.

But eventually, she let go of me and nodded.

"I won't be long." I continued before starting to walk out.

Once outside, I sighed.

"This is troublesome. I'm not cut out for this."

* * *

As I wandered aimlessly, I also tried to check what I could get from this mission.

I was just walking down the street, observing everyone bustling about. Cars passing, pedestrians jostling. They all have their own lives.

[Mission: Kill Matou Zouken. Completed!]

[Choose one of the following 3 rewards.]

[System Function.]

[Equipment.]

[Skill.]

This time I didn't intend to choose the System Function. Weapons are not a consideration. Actually, I don't need a weapon that's too powerful or nonsense level. Even if I had it, I wouldn't be able to use its full potential.

My choice this time is Skill; it has the best chance of ensuring my survival.

[Memory Manipulation.]

[Make changes to the mind to ensure someone forgets a specific event; effectiveness is limited by the deviation between what the target remembers and what others around them remember.]

"Ah..." I suddenly realized.

Isn't this what I need? With this, I can use it to cross borders. Create some random ID and use Memory Manipulation. Everything will be sorted out.

But suddenly I felt afraid. This system gives me whatever I need when I need it. The old question once again haunted me, this time with a new fear creeping in.

When I first arrived in this world, I, who had no combat abilities, was given Presence Concealment. As if to ensure that I wouldn't die due to foolish reasons.

When I wanted to rob the Matou residence, this system gave me Inventory. As if to tell me that I couldn't carry many items if I just used a regular bag.

Now, I got Memory Manipulation. As if to say that I shouldn't leave Sakura, so I was given a way to solve that problem.

If it happened just once or twice, then I would consider it a mere coincidence. But when it happens repeatedly, it would be foolish not to be suspicious.

The question I had hidden because I didn't have an answer to it now resurfaced.

I don't know why I'm here. I don't know why I'm the one here.

Fear spread throughout my body.

The fear of being someone's mere entertainment or being used as a puppet for unknown purposes. The fear of the reality that I know nothing. This isn't a matter of pride; it's a matter of whether I'm still worth keeping if I take certain actions.

I could be discarded no matter what my opinion is. I could be killed no matter what I do. I could die without realizing what happened. Or my hopes could suddenly be crushed when I was just trying to enjoy life.

Such fear entered my mind. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it might just be my wandering thoughts, it never went away.

What should I do? I don't know.

I just... don't know.

I stared at the night sky. I feel... like crying. I want to complain. But I know... I'll never be able to do it.

I'm not Kiritsugu; I don't have aspirations to be a hero of justice. I have emotions; I have feelings; I can feel fear. So...

"What should I do..." my voice trembled.

Regardless of whether it's just my imagination or not, this is a question that has long haunted me. And I know, I won't find any answers.

The appearance of this system's reward only made me more afraid.

Unconsciously, I had returned to the hotel.

Sakura was waiting for me. Seeing my presence, I could see the relief on her face.

Right, there's someone else who's afraid too. Compared to her, I should be able to handle this; after all, I'm the adult here. The little girl is even now trying to be brave. Then what about me?

I'm such an idiot. Even if I'm afraid, I shouldn't give up.

Maybe, there's someone out there who sees me as their puppet... but until I know the truth, I won't stop just to cry.

"I won't leave you; I've found a way to take you with me." I smiled, this time not a forced smile like before. I'm genuinely happy.

Seeing me, Sakura, for the first time since our meeting, showed her smile.

* * *

A few days later, we began our journey. This will be a long journey as I decided to use both land and sea routes.

The ID issue has been resolved; I stole someone else's ID. It's just for appearance; when using Memory Manipulation, I don't want to fail because of the huge gap in people's attention.

The route I chose is to cross Japan first, then enter Russia, then Belarus, next Poland, and finally Germany.

Then the question arises, why didn't I take the air route? It would only take about 12-14 hours. The answer is simple; I've never been on a plane. Even in my previous life, I've never been on a plane, so I'm making the most rational decision here, the land route.

Can't I gather information beforehand? True, but there's always a difference between what's recorded and what happens. I don't know what's required for international travel, but if a problem arises, it will all be difficult.

Another reason is that I'm not in a hurry. At this point, there shouldn't be any danger to Illya, so I can relax a bit.

The longest time we spent on the journey was one month. I also managed to improve Sakura's condition a little during this journey.

Oh, speaking of Sakura. I took her to the hospital for a check-up. The result is she's healthy. No creatures or foreign objects were found in her body. My assumption is that all the worms disappeared from her body after Matou Zouken's death.

But that's just an assumption and a general check-up. I don't know if it's still there but can't be found using ordinary methods. I also don't know how Magecraft works to utilize the Universal Card. So for now, I'll postpone it.

If there are problems in the future, I'll leave it to my future self.

During this journey, Sakura improved. She began to express herself; she also started talking more often. No longer restraining herself when she needs something.

Of course, I'll give her anything she wants. I have plenty of money, even if it's not mine.

Sometimes I wonder, is it okay to feed a child with money from robbery?

Every time we reached a town, I politely visited the nearest bank. I didn't even bother them to ask for money; they're busy working anyway. So I went to the back and took some money. They didn't even say anything.

With that, I always have money.

Just as an FYI, but I don't use Memory Manipulation often. Only when we're about to cross the country borders. Otherwise, I'll rely on Presence Concealment. This skill is truly amazing.

I wonder, is this what it feels like to have a daughter? It's not too bad. Or maybe it's because Sakura is basically a good girl, so not many problems come.

Soon, my other daughter will arrive; this will be even more interesting. Well, even though it's Kiritsugu's daughter, not mine. But it's the same; I am Kiritsugu now.

During the journey, we visited many places. So, what was originally planned to take about a month, we only arrived in Germany after two months.

This time, I plan to leave Sakura at an orphanage, of course after ensuring using Memory Manipulation on every caregiver.

Sakura also didn't reject the idea, the time we spent together was enough to make her trust me. She might be reluctant, but she didn't refuse.

I also mentioned that at least I would be gone for one or two months. After that, I'll come back for her.

The journey from Japan to Germany was very enjoyable. In my previous life, I had never even set foot outside the country. No, forget about overseas; I rarely even had to go out of town. I remember it's less than 10 times.

But this is a new experience for me. I'm enjoying it.

"Be a good girl and wait for me here, okay?" I bowed to be at her eye level.

"En." She nodded and hugged me.

"I won't be long. When I come back, I'll introduce my daughter to you. You'll be good friends." I said as I released myself from her embrace.

If I remember correctly, in anime, Illya was mentioned to be older than Shiro. So she's definitely older than Sakura, right?

That's if we ignore certain parts of the Mahou Shoujo story.

To me, completing this mission will be easier than killing Matou Zouken.

The head of Einzbern, whose name is hard to remember, doesn't have combat abilities. If I'm not mistaken, his advantage is creating Homunculi. But even though killing him is easy, dealing with her Homunculus army will be difficult.

Well, my plan is basically the same as before. Create barriers and explode them. The difference is only the size. But before that, I have to make sure Illya is successfully rescued. I also need to take various research notes about Homunculi. Illya might need them in the future.

That's when I saw the Einzbern castle.

A magnificent castle amidst the white snowy world. Truly awesome.

The Bounded Field surrounding the castle is similar to the one in the Matou residence, only for detection. But this one also has additional features to ensure it remains unseen by ordinary people.

I was able to penetrate it easily and unnoticed. It's not difficult at all.

Before I do anything I planned, I circled around the castle. There's nothing extraordinary.

The inside is very quiet. Truly gloomy.

But everything changed when I reached the Basement. This room is even larger than what's in the Matou residence. Full of Homunculi.

The number could reach thousands, I don't know, maybe even more.

I'm not sure how many of them specialize in combat, but if I'm found, then I'll definitely be in trouble.

Leaving the Basement, I circled around the inside of the castle once again. I haven't found Illya yet.

There's a large painting in the Great Hall. I can guess her identity. She's the woman who possesses the Third Magic. I forgot her name; it's spelled difficultly for my tongue, so I never tried to remember it.

I wandered around before finally finding Illya sitting on her bed reading a large book. No one accompanied her.

I wanted to go there and talk to her, but it might lead to unwanted results. If there's some sort of hidden camera in Magecraft version, then all my plans would basically be thrown in the trash.

So, like in Sakura's case, I waited patiently and didn't do anything.