What are you doing wrong?

You're trying to hook readers with a Synopsis.

Synopsis: a brief summary or general survey of something.

What part of that makes your discription sound captivating? How can you make a summary of a book that isn't even fully written yet? Have you made a plan for your book and are basing it off of that or are you taking it one chapter at a time and using your original idea to write your synopsis?

I don't know what y'all are doing, but it certainly isn't leaving me with a burning desire to read.