Chapter 2

My eyes blurred with unshed tears when my house came into view from far away. I used to love this place hometown, where I spent my entire life. I was already sad to move out, have one year. This place was my Paradise it's now hell. All the memories are here... "Just have faith in yourself you get this" Inhale...exhale "I have faith in myself" I muttered to myself, he slowly released and I was peddling the bicycle on my own. The car's brake makes a noise when we stopped and I come back to reality where I can never meet him again. "How long would it take inside? I have to go nearby to meet my brother, he is in town after a long time." Jay said looking at me from the rearview "you can go and meet him, I'll call you when I need you" I get out of the car and stare at the front door for a while and memory comes rushing towards my mind "it's not working," Rayan said trying to open the door with my Bobby pin "you are the one who forgot the keys inside now do something" he signed "its 4:00 am what am I supposed to do, and don't forget you are the who wanted to go to that party." I blinked away the memory and tears streaming down my cheeks, I open the door and walk in "Lea, you are back in time I was just about to call you, to tell you that my son is sick and I have to go early today," Mindy said, our new housekeeper I hired to cook and clean after the accident because I am already so occupied with studies and watching mom every day. "okay, Mindy, you can go" I replied dryly not to sound like I just cried but I did anyway. "Oh thank you for understanding" I nod and she walks away. I pour myself a coffee and started studying physics, it's almost 10:30 pm and I'm so tired from studying I'll sleep now... or I should say cry."Mom! Mom!" I remember me yelling "Rayan broke my jewelry box" we both ran to mom from my room, She was working in the office "kids, stop making noise I'm busy" she yelled back. It is not the first time I'm crushed by memories and crying myself to sleep but it's getting harder day by day. Living without loved ones is the hardest thing. I wish that I also went with them and died too that would be much easier than living like this. At least I have a mom but she doesn't have a bond with me as she had with Ryan. She is hard to live with and now that the two of us are alone things are… complicated but this is it this is the new normal. It's always been an awkwardness whenever we were alone in one room sometimes I have this strong vibe from her that she doesn't love me but that's not true right after all I'm her daughter right?

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Lara Clark, you can go home within 2-3 days" the doctor told my mother while checking her heartbeat with a stethoscope, "we just have to monitor you for 2-3 days." "Are you a sure doctor? I don't think I'm well." My mother asked in a whispery voice trying to sound sick "l have checked you and I haven't found anything but you don't worry we'll monitor you… if any complications then you might have to stay here for longer" dr. Kevin said reassuring her. "Lea can you come with me please" I nod and start walking with him outside the room. "Lea I think your mother is in complete denial… and it is hard for someone who suffers this much grief to get back to normal life. She not wanting to go back home could be an indication of mental illness. I frown "are you trying to say she is insane. He hesitated "no no but this type of trauma affects mental health, I suggest you hire a psychiatrist and you should also see one it's better for both of you". I take a deep breath "can you suggest one" "oh sure it's in the hospital dr. Miles Miller, I can make an appointment if you want" "okay… okay you can make it thank you so much" I said while nodding.