chapter 36

Tay pulls down his boxers, comes back, and hovers over me between my legs. He looks deep into my eyes and moves his hand to the bedside counter. I pull my lower lip between my teeth as he opens the drawer and takes out a foil packet. His eyes snap back to mine. His bottom lip is a bit swollen, and his chest is heaving up and down. I watch as he rips the packet with his teeth and takes out the silky condom.

My eyes go down to his length and watch as he slips the silky sheath on his hard big shaft. I wait in anticipation of what is coming.

"Tell me to stop and I will, okay?" he says and I nod as I don't have the voice to say it.

I feel his length at my heat, and my heart skips a beat. My mind tells me not to let him have control of my body, but my heart says otherwise. I am fully vulnerable and exposed to him.

I push the thoughts of that night at the back of my head and focus back on Tay.

Tay slips in, but not fully, and I grip on his arm. He pulls out, then slips back in slowly. It is a weird feeling but feels good at the same time. His eyes meet mine. "You okay?" he asks and I nod.

"Yea," I say.

He moves, and I tighten my grip on his arm. He molds our lips together as he thrusts in and out.

"Fuck! You are so tight," he says in my mouth and I moan. My eyes pinch shut as my body overflows with pure pleasure. My nails dig into his arm and my eyes roll at the back of my head.

This is the best feeling ever. I felt nothing like this before. Tay's thrusts grow as he moves in and out of me. I snap my eyes open to find him staring deep into my soul.

"You feel so good around my cock," he says, his breath sending shivers down my body. Sweat is dripping from his body, and he lowers his head and sucks my neck. His arms wrap on my shoulders and I move my hands to his back.

He sucks and I moan and throw my head back, giving him more access.

"Ah!" I moan and dig my nails into his back.

Pressure builds in the pit of my stomach. "I'm going to come," he says and increases his speed. I moan his name repeatedly as he pounds into me.

"Tay," I moan, and we both find our release.

He remains still inside me with his head in the crook of my neck. After our breaths are back to normal, he lifts his head.

He plants wet kisses on my jaw moving up to my lips and molds our lips together. He bites my lower lip, and I part my lips. He slips his tongue in, and I moan. We explore each other's mouth and after what felt like an eternity, he breaks the kiss. We stare at each other as our chest moves in sync.

"I love you," he says, and rests his forehead against mine.

He pulls out of me, and I whimper at the emptiness. He pulls the condom from his length and gets rid of it.

"I didn't hurt or remind you off…" I cut him off.

"You didn't, I loved it," I confess.

Honestly, I never thought I will ever be able to sleep with anyone again. I had given up on giving myself to anyone.

"Really?" he asks with a smile, and I nod.

"You were incredible," he says and plants a kiss on my forehead and it hits me.

He might have not been the one who deflowered me, but one thing I know for sure is that I love him.

"Let's get you cleaned up," he says and scoops me up in his arms, and walks to the bathroom.

We both step in the shower, and Tay washes my body. I moan as he touches sensitive areas and after a while, we both step out. I dry myself and get under the covers, naked. Tay pulls me to his chest as soon as we get on the bed and nuzzles his head in the crook of my neck. He plants a kiss on my shoulders.

"Goodnight Olivia," He says against my skin, sending shivers down my spine.

I sleep with memories of Tay pounding into me.

****

Feather like kisses on my neck wake me up in the middle of the night.

"Tay, I'm sleepy," I say, trying to get back to sleep but moan when Tay rubs my clit. I am fully awake now. Tay tears a condom foil, and minutes later, he enters me from behind. His arms around my body and he feels so full. He pounds into me like a crazy animal while his hands are playing with my breasts.

"Fuck! You feel so tight," he says as he pounds into me faster and hard. The room is filled with our moans and shaping of skins.

"Fuck," he moans and buries his head in the crook of my neck. Pressure builds in the pit of my stomach, and soon we both reach our climax. We lay on the bed with my back against Tay, with him still inside me.

"You are amazing," he says and kisses the back of my neck. He stays inside me until I fall asleep.

The next morning, I woke up to Tay snoring lightly. His hair hiding his handsome face. I bring my hand up and push his hair off his face. He opens his eyes, and I pull my lower lip between my teeth. He molds our lips together and my body warms up. He bites my lower lip, and I part my lips for him. A shiver runs down my spine as his tongue dances with mine. My heart is pounding against my chest like it's the first time we share a kiss.

His hand moves to the back of my head and moves my head closer to him. He breaks the kiss so that we can both catch our breaths and rests his forehead against mine, panting.

"Morning, beautiful," He says, and I half-smile at him.

I know, I haven't told him the L word and maybe he thinks I don't love him back, but I do. I just don't know how to tell him. I have never been in a relationship, and this is kind of new to me.

I guess I just want to make sure I love him before I say it out loud.

"Have you ever thought of opening a restaurant?" I honestly do not know why I asked him that.

"Um… yea once upon a time," he says, and caresses his thumb against my cheekbone.

"And now?" I ask.

"It's gone now. I don't have the same passion for food like I used to," Tay says and I frown.

"Tay, this is your chance to do what you love," I say and realise that Tay and I have more in common than we realise. Both of our parents used to decide our future for us. The only difference is that I refused to take their shit for so long. Tay went along with everything because he wanted to be a good example to his brothers.

"Drop it, Olivia!" Tay snaps and rolls off the bed.

"I'm not trying to pressure you into it, I just want you to do what makes you happy," I say, and he stops.

"I'm happy with everything I have now, so drop it. I don't want to talk about it," he says and walks into the bathroom.

I sigh and look at the ceiling. One thing I learned in life is that you should never give up on your dreams, no matter what other people think. It's your life, and they have no right to interfere with your career. I know a lot of parents mean well, but that doesn't mean they can decide on your future.

If I went along and got a job at the hospital, I would be miserable right now. Doing something I had zero passion for. I might not have enough experience in life, but one thing I know for sure is that life is a gift, and we should live the way we want and die without regrets.

One thing I hate is hearing someone saying 'what if?'. It sucks really.

I sigh and climb off the bed. I slip in my slippers and make my way to the kitchen, still in Tay's t-shirt.

"Morning," I say to Future and turn the coffee machine on.

"Hey," she says and snaps her head up. She is still in her pajamas holding a bag of chips.

"Cravings?" I ask with a half-smile, and she nods, as her mouth is now full.

I grab a coffee mug and prepare the coffee. I grab a spoon and pour some sugar into the mug.

'So, I thought that maybe you, and I could go to the mall today," Future suggests.

"Sure," I say and bring the mug to my lips.

"So what time are we leaving?" I ask.

"Whenever you are ready," she says.

"Okay," I say, and walk back to the room.

Tay has showered and dressed in blue faded jeans, and a white long sleeve t-shirt, and his in barefoot.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. I just don't enjoy talking about...you know. I gave up that dream a long time ago, and I want it to stay that way...in the past." he says and I nod.

"How about we do lunch together," he suggests.

"I promised Future I would accompany her to the mall," I say and run my hand through his hair.

"Okay, I will see you when you get back then," he says, and I peck on his lips and walk to the bathroom.

I take a quick shower and dress up in jeans and a blouse. I leave my hair hanging down over my shoulders and slip in my sneakers.

Tay is sitting on the bed, tapping on his phone. He stands up when he sees me and walks in my direction.

He hands me his credit card, and I shake my head no.

"Not happening, I have my money that I haven't used," I say and Tay sighs. I have a lot of money. Every month I get a bank notification that money was deposited into my account.

"You are not leaving this room without this credit card," He says and I glare at him. If looks could kill, he would be six feet under the ground.

"I will use my money. I don't need a man to pay for everything I want to buy. I have my money that I worked hard for," I say, and Tay runs his hand through his hair.

"But I'm your husband, I'm supposed to take care of you," he says and my lips form a straight line.

"I know, but you understand that I too have my money that I would like to use."

'How about I take turns? Today I will use mine and the next time I go to the mall I will use yours. Sounds good?" I ask.

"Yeah." he gives in and I peck his lips.

Future and I hop out of the car. The mall is packed. People going in and out of the mall. We parted ways and meet in two hours since we are going to different stores. I walked to Mr. Price, my favorite store since childhood. I'm glad that it's not crowded. I grab jeans, blouses, sneakers, and denim jackets. Boots, underwear, and some bras. By the time I finished shopping, two hours had already gone, and I had four shopping bags.

One thing I love about Mr. Price is that they take their time to fold the clothes in the shopping bags. Saving you from carrying too many shopping bags. I have made my way to King Pie since Future and I agreed to meet there.

I spot her at the small table in the center and make my way to her.

"Sorry I'm late," I say.

"I just got here, too. Ready to order?" She asks, and I nod. She tells me what kind of pie she wants and I make my way to the counter to buy.

"Hi, can I please have chicken and red hot chicken burger pies? And two bottles of sprites," I say and the girl in a purple t-shirt with a pie at the corner gets my order.

After a few minutes, she hands me a tray with two pies in a wrap and two straws with bottles of sprites. I walk back to our table and hand Future her chicken pie.

"How are things with Andrew?" I ask and take a bite of my pie. I realise we haven't spent time together for weeks now and I missed her. I miss our talks, and I miss Nate. He always knows what to say in difficult situations. I made a mental note to FaceTime him soon.

"Taking things one step at a time. This is new to both of us, and we are trying to deal with it together. Being pregnant is one hell of a job." she says and my phone rings in my pocket. My face frowns as mom's name appears.

"Hi?" I say.

"Hey Olivia, I was thinking if maybe you could come to dinner at the house tonight. Tay is invited too, of course." She says and my mouth half opens, not knowing what to say to her.

"Um... okay," I say. It is the least I can do since she is reaching out to me first. I just hope she doesn't start drama for the sake of our relationship.

"Great, is 8 pm okay with you?" she asks and I nod, but then realise that she cannot see me.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine," I say, and she hangs up after a few minutes.

"Is everything okay?" Future asks.

"Ask me that when I come back from my parent's house then, I will answer you," I say, and she chuckles.

We finish our pies, then head back home. Tay and Andrew are watching The Maze runner when we walk in with shopping bags.

"Guess who invited us to dinner?" I say and throw myself on the couch next to Tay.

"Who?" he asks.

"My mom," I say and look at the time on the TV.

It's already six. "Come we have to get ready," I say, hand the bags to Tay and walk up the steps.

I take a shower alone since we are already late. I dress up in blue faded jeans and a white blouse with a maroon leather jacket. I slip in my black converse shoes and leave my hair hanging down my shoulders. I grab my phone and make my way downstairs to wait for Tay. It's seven-thirty when I check the time.

Future and Andrew are cuddled up on a couch, eating popcorn. I grab a bag of chips from the cupboards in the kitchen and make my way to the living room. Knowing Mom, she will probably make us eat leaves so these chips are worth it.

We sit in silence as we watch the TV. And after a while, Tay walks in dressed in grey faded jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black suit jacket that hugs his body perfectly. I was expecting him to wear a full suit, to be honest.

"Ready?" He asks and I nod, standing up with the bag of chips.

"Bye guys," I shout, and they wave at us and turn their attention back to the TV.

The drive to my parent's house is short. None of us say anything and I continue digging on the poor chips.

I wipe my hands with wipers and walk to the front door. Tay knocks, and within seconds, Nora opens the door.

"My baby girl," she says and pulls me into a bear hug.

"It's nice to see you too, Nora," I say, and she breaks the hug.

"Look at you, you are glowing," I blush at the words remembering Future telling me the same thing earlier.

"Nice to see you again, Tay," she says, and we walk in. The dining table is full of different dishes.

Mom descends the stairs dressed up in a red dress that hugs her body perfectly. Her hair up in a ponytail, and in heels.

Only she would dress up for dinner.

"Olivia, you look...um...beautiful?" I can tell she forced the last word out.

"Thank you," I silently say because I don't want to fight with her, and I hope she keeps her comments to herself for the rest of the night.

Dad shows up in just jeans and a white shirt, much to my surprise.

"How have you been?" Dad asks.

"Good," I say, and we make our way to the table. I sit between Nora and Tay. Mom and dad at the end of the table facing each other.

Nora dishes for me despite my protests and hands me a plate with pap, chicken stew, grilled meat, and some potatoes. Now I don't regret coming here to see the food on my plate.

"I hope you are treating my daughter right, Tay?" Mom breaks the silence. Tay pours white wine into his glass but hands it to me.

"I am," he says and grabs my empty glass to pour him some.

"Olivia, since when do you drink?" mom asks, ready to go to war. I could never drink even when I turned 18. I want to tell her I have already tasted alcohol, but I decide to keep quiet.

She wanted me to be the perfect daughter without flaws.

"It's not a big ideal Grace," a voice says, and I recognize it as Nora's.

"You are not Olivia's mother, so I don't see the need for you to get involved," mom spits, and the room goes silent. Tay brings his glass to his lips, and I'm still holding the glass. Nora is glaring hard at my mother.

"A mother doesn't change her daughter, a mother loves her daughter the way she is, with imperfections." Nora's voice held so much anger. This is the first time I have ever heard her talking to mom like this.

"Are you trying to imply that I don't love my daughter?" My Mom snaps with equal anger.

"If you love her, you would know her favorite color? Food? What she wants when she is sad? Do you even know a damn thing about her?" Nora fires back. Dad hasn't moved from his seat, and it seems like none of us knows what to do. This is the first fight between the two well, the first I have ever noticed.

"I have always known that you want to steal my daughter away from me. It's not my fault that you are God damn barren. Olivia is not your daughter. Stop trying to play mom. She already has one." Mom is now standing on her feet and she takes a few minutes to register what she said to Nora. Nora blinks back her tears and I admire her for being so fearless, even though all she wants is to cry.

When I thought my mother couldn't go any lower, she surprised us all.

"I might not have children, but you don't deserve, Olivia. I feel sorry for her for having such a despicable mother who only thinks for herself, and doesn't know when to just fucking stop trying to chalk out of her daughter's life to the tee." Nora spits. I do not know what to do right now. Dad is just sitting there, like he is glued to his chair. I understand Tay not trying to stop the fight. He knows nothing about Nora and it looks like I have to interfere. Or else they will both say something they will regret later.

"You know what? You are fired," Mom says and my mouth half opens. I stand up, ready to defend Nora, but she beats me to it.

"You can't fire me because I helped in this house voluntarily. You seem to forget your place dear, sister," to say I am shocked is an understatement. Dad swallows, a lump in his throat.

"What?" I say, confused.

Am I missing something here? Mom is glued to her spot, too. She opens her mouth to say something but ends up closing it.

"Yes Olivia, you heard me right. Your dear mother here is my sister, my little sister."

"What do you mean, she is your sister? I mean why keep it a secret?" I ask. I have always asked myself if my mom had an older or a little sister or brother. Now that I look at both of them, they share some similarities.

Nora sits down and I do, too.

"Grace always got what she wanted since she was young, and I had no problem with that. Your father and I were supposed to get married that day." she looks at me and I look at my dad. His head is down in embarrassment. Mom is just sending hateful glares at Nora. I turn back to Nora with a pounding heart, waiting in for whatever she is about to tell me.

"He left me at the altar and declared love to my sister in front of the guests." Nora blinks back her tears.

"I then found out that they have been sleeping together for months." she takes a deep breath.

I can't believe mom would do that to her sister. All this time she has been acting as if she is perfect, but then she is just a home wrecker. Tay and I's family deserve each other with all the secrets and betrayals.

"So, all this time, I thought you were my nanny. You were actually my aunt?" I say more to myself.

"Why are you still here?" I ask. If it was me, I would have left a long time ago.

Scrap that. I would have burned them both alive.

"That's because half of this house belongs to me. Our mother left it to both of us, "Nora says, and I nod in understanding.

"Why cook for them?" I still don't understand it.

"I love cooking, and I don't hold grudges like your mother." she half-smiles at me and my heart aches for her. No one deserves what they did to her. She is too good for them; I would have ripped their throats off.

"We all know you belong in the kitchen, it's what y…" I cut mom off by pounding my palms on the dinner table. I walk around the table and face her.

"You should be ashamed of yourself for what you did to your sister! What kind of sister are you, huh? I have had it with you and your nonsense. Your secrets have caught up with you, you are nothing but a home wrecker…" a hand connects with my cheekbone before I can finish my sentence. Dad is now on his feet, pulling his crazy wife away from me.

Tears float down my cheeks and I chuckle. Not even hurt by her assault.

"Even if you hit me, it won't change the fact that you are a slut and…" a hand covers my mouth and another hand wraps around my torso and pulls me away from the dinner table and up the stairs as I struggle to say more. By the smell filling my nostrils, it's Tay.

We enter my room and he lets go.

"Calm down," he whispers, and I pace back and forth in the room.

"Calm down? They have been lying to me all my life, and you are telling me to calm down. Are you being fucking serious right now?" I yell.

"Language,"

"I know they lied, but you need to calm down before you say anything you will regret later. She is still your mother, you know?" Tay says calmly, and I look at him like he has grown a second head. He pulls me into a hug, and my body warms up.

"You don't know how much I regret not going to mom's funeral. She might have done horrible things in the past, but she was still my mother, no matter what. We don't get to choose our parents, but you can accept what has been given to you because there are so many orphans out there who would love to have parents. You cannot judge them based on their past, they were young and stupid." He says in my hair and I tighten my grip around his torso.

"It's so unfair what they did to Nora," I say and sob.

"I know,"

"Shhhh, it's okay," he whispers.

"You know I just realised something." I snap my head up to look at him.

"What?" he asks.

"We have a hell of dysfunctional families," I say, and he chuckles.

"Yah that's true," he says and I stay in his arms for a little while.

He breaks the hug. "So, this is your room huh?" he asks, walking towards the bed.

"Yeah," I reply.

He grabs a book on the bedside counter, and I recognize the cover.

Chasing Red by Isabelle Ronin.

A lot of things have been removed from my room.

"She was fire, and I wanted her to burn me," he reads on the cover. He sits on the bed and pats on his lap. I pull my lower lip between my teeth and walk towards him and sit on his lap.

He wraps his arms around my torso and places the book in my hands.

"What do you love most about reading?" he asks, and rests his chin on my shoulder.

"It takes me to someone else's reality that I don't have time to live it,"

"Most of the books that I have read helped me survive in high school and without them; I don't know what I would have done. I learn something new at the end of each book, and it also shapes my life in a way. It becomes part of my life." I turn my head to look at Tay. He is watching me with so much admiration in his eyes that a shiver runs down my spine.

He molds our lips together, and the book slips out of my hands. My body warms up; my hands go around his neck. He slips his tongue in, and I moan out his name.

He takes off my jacket without breaking the kiss. He pulls my blouse over my head and flips us over on the bed. He takes off his shirts and molds our lips together. I tuck the roots of his hair, and he moans. He breaks our kiss and sucks my ear lobe and a burning sensation builds up in the pit of my stomach.

"You, are, so, beautiful," he whispers and my panties float with my folds.

God, he has done nothing and I'm already wet for him.

His hands unbutton my jeans and pull them down, taking off my shoes along the way.

"So wet," he says and ducks his head between my legs. I throw my head back, moaning when his tongue connects with my heat.

"You taste so much better than the last time," he says, and a shiver runs down my spine.