chapter 34

The next morning, I wake up feeling funny. I open my eyes to find Tay between my legs, my t-shirt up, and his lips on my stomach, leaving a trail of kisses. He trails his tongue down to my belly button, and I moan. His eyes snap up to meet mine. My hand is clenched on my pajama t-shirt and the other on the bedsheets.

He diverts his eyes back to my stomach; he kisses below my belly button just where my scar is and his hands tug at my pajama shorts. "Is this, okay?" Tay asks, and I nod. I want to forget about Cole touching me. He pulls my shorts down slowly and throws them on the cool tile floor. He lifts my leg and trails wet kisses going down to my sex. My back arches, my head digs deep into the pillow and my hands clutch on the bedsheets at the burning sensation building in the pit of my stomach.

He sucks on my inner thigh, and I moan. He moves up, still between my legs, and molds our lips together. My hands go around his neck. The kiss is slow but passionate. I tuck the roots of his hair, and he moans, "Liv," he says against my lips.

This is the first time he has used my nickname. His tongue slips into my mouth and within seconds, our lips are moving in sync. His hand moves slowly on my inner thigh to my panties. He travels his finger up and down on top of my panties. He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine.

"So wet for me," Tay says, and kisses the corner of my lips. I run my hands through his hair, and he moans and trail kisses down my jaw.

He sucks my neck and my eyes roll at the back of my head. The pressure in the pit of my stomach increases, my chest heaving up and down. Tay stops his attack on my neck and moves down to remove my panties.

"You are soaking wet, love," Tay says as he removes my panties. There was no reason to deny it even if I could; my juices are flowing in my panties.

Tay threw my panties on the side of the bed and bent his head down. The feeling of his breath on my sex sends chills down my spine. His tongue connects with my clit, and I pull my lower lip between my teeth. My hands somehow find his hair and tug it hard. His hand is lying flat on my stomach and the other on my thigh.

His lips move to my throbbing core, he licks my juices, and he slips his tongue in my sex with no warming, causing a gasp to escape my lips.

He moves his tongue in and out, and I moan.

"Oh God," I say through my breaths.

Tay's phone rings, causing him to release a growl. He ignores it, but it continues to ring.

He moves away and extends his hand at the bedside counter to grab the phone.

He answers his phone panting, "Hello, I'm not available at the moment because I am sleeping, please leave your name, and I will get back to you if I get the chance," Tay says and hangs up switching off his phone, and I chuckle.

He places his phone back on the bedside counter. "Now where were we?" he asks, still panting, and I decide to make him suffer.

"Sorry lover boy, but I'm no longer in the mood," I lie, shove him back, and roll off the bed.

"Are you kidding me?" Tay asks in disbelief.

I walk into the bathroom, locking the door in the process, and lean against it. I chuckle and make my way to the shower. I move my pajama t-shirt up over my head and step into the shower.

After the shower, I wrap my body with a towel and dry my hair. I grab clean panties and pull them up to my legs. I grab blue faded jeans and a white sweater. I put them on and grab socks and also put them on. Ever since it rained the other day, it has been cold. I grab my soft comfy small boots and walk out, leaving my hair to air dry.

Tay and Future are sitting on the bar stools around the kitchen island, eating breakfast. Tay's hair is wet. He must have showered in another room. He is in grey faded jeans and a long sleeve white t-shirt. Future is in black tracksuits, a pink beanie on her head, and grey small boots.

"Morning," I say, grabbing a bowl and bag of cornflakes.

"Hmm, Morning," Future says, trying to chew. I pour the cornflakes in the bowl and milk later. I grab a spoon and sit next to Tay, digging in.

"Where is Andrew?" I ask.

"Grocery shopping," Future says, and I turn my head to look at Tay.

"Are you mad at me?" I whisper, and he looks at me, saying nothing for a moment.

"Do you know how many times, I had to take a cold shower because of you?" Tay whisper asks and I pull my lower lip between my teeth.

I turn my head back to Future, who is watching us with amusement on her face.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," Future says.

Heavy footstep has us on high alert. Andrew puts the plastic bags on the kitchen counter, breathing heavily.

"I have been trying to call you guys but none of you picked up," Andrew informs, still panting.

"I left my phone in our room, babe," Future tells Andrew.

"I haven't checked my phone since last night," I said.

"I switched mine off," Tay informs too.

"I got a call from dad when I was at the mall. I tried to call and when neither of you answered; I tried to make it home fast, but there was traffic," Andrew says.

"Andrew, what happened? You are not making sense right now," Tay says.

"Mom...mom passed on, Tay." the room fell into pure silence.

Tay pushes his bar stool back and rushes up the stairs. I don't know if I should follow him or not. A part of me wants me to follow him, but I think he wants to be alone for a while.

"I'm sorry about Carmen," I say to Andrew and stand up to hug him.

"Does Nate know?" I ask.

"Yea, he won't be able to make it to the funeral though," Andrew informs and I nod.

"Oh, babe," Future coos and hugs Andrew.

"How is your father taking it?" Future asks.

"I don't know, he sounded calm on the phone," Andrew tells us.

"None of her sons were beside her on her last breath. I can't shake off the feeling of guilt. She made us all happy and none of us were there when she needed us." oh Andrew, only if you knew.

"Babe, please don't do this to yourself. Carmen always wanted you guys to be happy. She wouldn't have minded that you guys didn't visit, as long as you guys were happy, it made her happy as well." Future says and runs her hand up and down Andrew's arm.

"I feel like we have drifted away from each other, you know. Nate is miles away from home, Tay is here, but it feels like he is not here. I miss them," Andrew confesses.

"I think you guys just have too many responsibilities right now. Nate is trying to make a name for him in the world of sports. You have a baby on the way, and Tay just lost everything, and he is trying to deal with it. You guys are the most inseparable brothers I know, nothing can come between you," except the fact that your step-mother killed your mother, I say to myself.

"I guess you are right, Nate is finally growing up." Andrew agrees.

I leave the kitchen, walk up the steps, and look for Tay. I walk into our room and find it empty. I make my way to his office.

I knock, then enter. Tay's back is facing me. He is standing in front of the small window bay. I make my way to him and stand next to him.

He is holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand. We stay like this for a while, in pure silence.

"I'm sorry about your mother." I break the silence.

Tay turns his head to look at me. He studies me, and after minutes of staring at me, he turns his head back to the window, gulping down his drink.

"You know alcohol won't change anything, right?" I say as he grabs another bottle.

He ignores my comment and drinks his drink. "Your mother will still be dead after the hangover, so you are just wasting your time," I say harshly.

"Be quiet," Tay says, and I sigh. I move my hand to grab his bottle, but he moves it away.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Tay asks and glares at me.

"Drinking is not a good idea right now. It won't make this go away or what you are feeling go away," I tell Tay, pointing around us.

"Well, it will make me forget for a few hours, so please leave me alone," Tay says through his teeth.

"Tay…" I don't even get to finish my sentence before Tay barks at me.

"What is it you don't get? Are you deaf or something? Leave me the fuck alone," Tay booms, and I flinch.

"I'm just trying to help," I say.

"Did I ask for your help? No? I don't need you feeling sorry for me. I don't want your pity, my life is fucked up already so, no need to pity me." Tay says, and his grip tightens on the bottle.

"I do not pity you. I'm trying to be there for you," I say.

"Don't lie to me. My life is fucked up, my family is fucked up. My parents are murders and I'm losing every fucking person I love," Tay says, his knuckles are white because of the death grip he has on the poor bottle.

"That's not true. You still have your father, your brothers, Future, and I," I tell Tay.

"For now, you will leave, too. Nothing is ever constant in my life; I end up fucking things up," Tay says, looking deep into my soul. His eyes are puffy, and my heart aches for him. He lost his sister and now it's his mother. Andrew might never talk to him again when he finds out that his step-mother killed his mother. He has no career. He might have said he hates his parents, but I know deep down he can never hate them.

They weren't the same people as the ones that covered up a murder when he grew up.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promise.

"Don't promise something that you will later reverse," Tay says, and turns his head away from me.

"Tay, I'm not going anywhere. Just let me be here for you," I beg. I know he is hurting, and knowing him, he will just bury the pain inside.

"Just go Olivia," Tay snaps.

"Please…" Tay cuts me off, walking to the door. He opens it and waits for me to get out.

I beg him with my eyes, but he just glares at me. I give up, walk out, and make my way downstairs.

"How is he?" Future asks as soon as I enter the kitchen.

"He just needs some space. He will be fine," I say, open the fridge and grab a bottle of water.

'We are going to the house. Andrew wants to help prepare for the funeral. Are you coming with us?" Future asks.

"Yeah," I say and close the bottle, leaving it on the kitchen counter. I doubt Tay will notice that I'm gone.