Him

"How can you be so calm?" Lyra questioned him with squinted eyes.

"I am always calm," Juan answered patiently as he moved to get into a more comfortable position. He leaned his head back on the armrest and watched her still straddling him.

He slightly pursed his lips as the tip of his ears reddened. She is really fearless. How dare she pins him down like this? If she does this to another man he would surely break her legs! But then he knows very well that she would never do it with any other man than him.

Lyra was too caught up with her things to notice his red ears.

"How can you be calm?"

"Why can't I?" Juan asked not knowing what is so difficult about it.

"How you behave as if nothing is wrong. How can you feel the same? Don't you see the difference? Tara isn't there with you anymore. Don't you feel sad?" Lyra questioned him.

Even if there was nothing between them just like Tara had said. Isn't it human nature to get used to people's presence in our life? Absence makes the heart fonder. And that saying was always so true. So how come Juan didn't even talk to Tara once after that day? How much he didn't miss her presence in her absence. Need not necessarily miss her as a man, but didn't he even feel anything as a friend too?

Juan thought hard. Did he feel any kind of emotion that Lyra was expecting? To be honest, No. He felt at ease. He felt suffocated before. He also felt like a selfish bastard, which he was one in Tara's case. He wasted four precious years of a woman's life because of his own personal motives. He only feels shameful and guilty now.

Juan shook his head but didn't explain to her. But then, Lyra already knew the answers to all the questions she asked. She just wanted to hear it from his mouth.

"Now, I think you can get down," Juan said trying to sit straight.

Lyra jumped off him as if she was the scared cat who was cornered by him. She looked at him like she will fight him if he comes near her. Juan felt like laughing. He was pinned down on the couch by HER!

Juan snorted slightly and continued doing his work. But Lyra felt like she hadn't asked him one proper question.

"So there is nothing between you and Tara?" Lyra asked again.

She was not sure what she was expecting too. She didn't also what was the end she wanted. She just didn't know anymore. Her mind was totally collapsed. It was not working.

"Yes, We are back to how we were before she came here. Does that answer all your thoughts?" Juan answered her perfectly.

"... Yes" Lyra nodded. For now, this was enough. She will bug him later.

Lyra slouched on the couch and looked at him sideways. His sharp jawline glistened under the bright lights of his house. His eyes glowed like all the shining stars in the universe were captured in his ink-black orbs. His fingers were typing at a lightning speed making her feel dizzy. But then, his veiny muscular arms were making her go even more dizzy.

She always felt like she is drunk whenever she is near him. As she was enjoying the hot view present beside her, Juan was finding it hard for him to concentrate on his work. He felt like covering her eyes. Her gaze was intense and strong for him to ignore it.

He tried to work despite her blazing gaze him. But he couldn't anymore. He turned towards her and raised an eyebrow at her.

Blink*

Blink blink*

Lyra snapped back to reality when her eyes met his. She quickly turned her head away and tried to act like nothing was wrong. But then Juan already caught her. Juan leaned back on the couch touching his shoulders with hers. Juan didn't speak anything just remained sitting just like that.

"Lyra... I... sigh*" Juan stood up stopping whatever he was going to say.

"It is late. Go back home. I am going to sleep." Juan said in a monotone voice and walked towards his room on the first floor without once turning back.

Lyra looked at his back with the same hurt expression again. Her eyes teared as she watched him walking away from her again!

He was doing it again. Walking away from her. Not just physically but from within. He always did this. She didn't know what was wrong with him. They were totally fine a few years before Tara returned.

Lyra and others even thought that Juan was going to ask Lyra out. But then out of nowhere he suddenly became distant. It was not in literal meaning. He was always there with her but was never in her reach. He built a big strong wall that couldn't be climbed over. He distanced himself emotionally from her and others. Joel was the only one who know the reason until now.

Lyra stood up shakingly from the couch and walked towards the door while trying to tell herself that everything was fine. That this was normal. That Juan was always like that. So do not get hurt.

Lyra kept repeating this like a mantra and went to her house. She walked to her room and lay down on the bed.

She thought back to the happy times that Juan and she shared to ease the heartache she was feeling now. As Lyra was down on the memory line, on the other side,

Juan hid behind a pillar and watched Lyra walk away with her pale face. He felt his heart clutching bringing immense pain to him. He felt suffocated as his eyes trailed on her disappearing figure.

He always forgot why he was staying away from her. He always forgot every pain he had whenever he was near her. And when he realise it, he will push her away just like he did now. Hurting her even further.

He hates himself for hurting her like this. He wanted to make her the happiest but he was the one who ended up giving the most pain, and he still does.

"I am sorry..."

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Author's note:

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