65 65. Happy Is Doted

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"What?" Happy was taken aback, not because he didn't want to say it, but because it was too simple of a request for something so significant. Portkey connections between continents were major affairs and were heavily regulated by the magical authorities.

Elaine sighed and straightened her back while showing an expression of grief. "I have nephews and nieces but never had children of my own. Magic may be miraculous, but there are some things it can't solve."

'She longs for a kid?' Happy was taken aback, not expecting something that ordinary from the mighty President of the MACUSA.

At last, he smiled like a cheerful kid and fulfilled her request. He had already called Dumbledore Grandpa, after all. "Then…You're my Grandma!"


"Oh!" She smiled sheepishly and placed her hands on Happy's chubby face, pulling his cheeks. "Oh, you… such a cute little boy! Yes, I'm Grandma Roosevelt… we're bound by blood, part of the same family."

'What the hell is going on with my life?' Happy wondered silently and allowed his fate to create a golden spoon for him out of thin air.

He shyly nodded, not being accustomed to other ladies touching him so intimately. Heck, he didn't even remember when was the last time he hugged someone other than Hagrid because even in his past life, his last years were spent on the hospital bed.

Dumbledore, too, was taken aback by the President's actions. Instantly, he was forced to change Happy's status in his mind. No longer was Happy just the good boy from the Lestrange family, but also the boy cherished by the President of MACUSA—It was political now.

"Come, have a seat with me." Elaine grabbed Happy's hand and pulled him along to sit. However, instead of allowing him to sit on the visitor's side, she pulled the chair with her other hand, so Happy ended up sitting right beside her larger seat with no gap.

It was all too sudden and strange to Happy, but he tried to go along with it. He had no idea what sort of history the woman had or what kind of life she lived, but it was clear she longed for a child. Why she didn't just adopt one was beyond his understanding. Perhaps it had something to do with blood, or maybe not.

"Do you want to eat something? Here at MACUSA, you can eat anything from around the world." She offered, like a doting grandmother.

Now that was something he could talk about, so Happy openly requested what he desired. "Umm… Shawarma?"


"Perfect!" Elaine exclaimed and tapped a button on her desk, calling one of her assistants. "Contact our people in Turkey and tell them to send some shawarma over."


Happy was left speechless. The fact that New York had many great places for shawarma, yet she ordered it from a different country near the origin of the dish. And the fact that she even knew where the dish originated from, instantly lifted Elaine's status in his heart.

"Y-You don't have to go that far… G-Grandma." Happy tried to stay polite since he came there to get something from her.

"Why can't I? We share the same blood, and you're my adopted grandson now—you must only ever get the best things." She proudly proclaimed.

'I love her!' Happy, happily surrendered.

Afterward, Elaine spoke with Tina about work and then with Dumbledore regarding the situation in Britain. By the time ten minutes had passed, a man entered the office with a covered tray in hand.

The tray was soon placed before Happy, and the lid was removed. The sizzling, steaming shawarma presented itself to Happy. Its mouthwatering aroma made his tongue drool, but he wasn't the only one as Koko also gazed longingly at the dish.

"Thank you so much!" Happy blurted and jumped right to eat it, using his hands no matter how messy he got. From time to time, he gave Koko some too.

Dumbledore watched it all happen awkwardly, wondering where all that food was going since he had already seen Happy devour five men's worth of food in the restaurant. At the same time, Elaine was proudly watching him, bobbing her head occasionally with a satisfied smile.

Fifteen minutes was all it took for him to eat the two shawarma wraps. He could have eaten about ten more, but he reckoned it was better to just go to Turkey and sample them from various shops.

"Anything else, Happy?" Elaine asked while handing him a tissue since he sat right beside her at arm's length.

He embarrassingly took it and cleaned his face. "Ah… No, Grandma… We should discuss the work now. The professor must be getting late to head back."

"Of course." She agreed, and in an instant, her demeanor changed. Gone was the smiling, doting grandma, replaced by the serious leader and politician. "Tell me about this business plan of yours. How will it utilize the Portkey, and how many do you intend to use?"

Dumbledore was only needed to meet with muggle interviewees, so Happy took it from there. "Grandma… I've found magical means to generate hundreds of thousands of tonnes of rice and other food grains. I want to sell it at a slightly cheaper price to needy nations, and earn lots of money. But, I want it to be fast and efficient, so I planned on using big warehouses that have Portkeys so that I can stock grains around the world. I will use No-Maj-born wizards as managers of those warehouses.

"The Professor has already helped me set up one Portkey in Africa, Asia, and Europe each, but I need your permission for the Americas. Of course, I'll pay for setting up the Portkey and using it, as well as MACUSA providing oversight, so it can't be misused."

Elaine started to write down something on paper. "MACUSA has established Portkeys around the entire world, in every country. I can give you a combined deal for using them all after discussing it with Congress. However, the question is, how much are you willing to pay for it? Don't take me wrong, If it were up to me, Happy, I would give it to you for free, but I must also satisfy Congress."

Happy thought about it with his closed eyes, looking very serious, though cute to the certain grandma. 'Hmm… Just a hundred thousand tonnes of rice was worth twenty million dollars, which is around two million Gold Galleons. But, before offering something, I better see what they want.'

"How much money will Congress find acceptable?" Happy asked.

Elaine slid the piece of paper she was writing on toward Happy. "This much."

Happy looked carefully and amusedly. At a glance, he understood that it was the breakdown price of operating a Portkey. There was a monthly salary of a wizard, location cost, and safety measures cost. In total, there were about 4000 Portkeys spread around the world. Each Portkey cost the MACUSA somewhere around 225 Gold Galleons, so according to that, the price was 9 million Gold Galleons, roughly 80 million dollars—each month.

Happy was a big billionaire, but he didn't want to spend that much on Portkeys as he had no idea how much he'd be making.

"Two Twenty-five for each? Then… instead of taking all four thousand Portkeys, can I select only a few according to their location? After all, I don't need them everywhere in Europe, while in Asia, the Middle East, Africa, and South America, I will need plenty. At best, I'll probably rent two thousand of them." Happy concluded, making a logical decision. With time, he believed he eventually wouldn't need MACUSA.

"Great." Elaine took back the paper. "I'll speak with the Congress tomorrow. Until then, how about you come and visit my house? My husband will be delighted to meet you, and my nieces won't leave you alone after finally having a cute brother."


'I must escape this fate for now.'

"I would love to, Grandma, but not today. I'm staying with Mr. Scamander this month to learn about magical creatures from him. I'll definitely visit your home after this month though, I promise." With sharp resolute eyes, he replied.

Slightly disappointed but still hopeful, Elaine caressed Happy's head, brushing his hair softly. "You're welcome at any time. Now, why don't you go out for a few minutes and wait? I have some important matters to talk about with Dumbledore here."

'Shady…' Happy felt.

He picked Koko up and quickly bid farewell. "I'll find something to eat, Grandma. Professor, I'll wait for you."

"What do you think they're talking about, Koko?" Happy asked his goose friend while sitting in the waiting area and eating ice cream.

"Kraaa! Kraaa!" Koko cawed like a crow.

"Hmm…Why would they talk about you? They're probably talking about me," Happy muttered.


Just then, the door opened, and Dumbledore emerged from the President's office. When Happy rushed to join him to the exit, he noticed Elaine standing by her door and waving at him.

"Bye-bye!" He cheerfully responded, making her beam with joy.

'So easy.'

Wasting no time, both of them strolled out onto the streets of New York again. Dumbledore looked at the sky turning dark and reckoned it was time to head home.

"Anything else, Happy?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes!" Happy smiled mischievously. "Professor, can you please buy me Powerball Lottery tickets?"

After all, where else could his golden luck shine if not in a game of luck?

(A/N: US magical currency is called Dragot. But since I could not find the conversion online, I'm using Galleons.)


See President of MACUSA, Elaine Roosevelt. Join the Monke family - Discord https://discord.gg/misterimmortal

Special thanks to *phong thanh nguyen* *andy cohen* *Martin Bosley*

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