The Sorting Hat's Dilemma

"Of course you do Mr Potter, but from young Mr Longbottom's demands to be placed in Gryffindor I would say you have already made it. You are both intrinsically good people who will not hesitate to make the difficult choices, giving you back your lives and each other was the least that could be done for you. As Hermione is Mrs Potter, married to the head of the Potter family, that ring would automatically appear on her finger, signifying her unquestionable and unchangeable status to everyone in our world."

Calling her Mrs Potter placated Hermione a little, for now. "Ok that's better than anything we've been able to come up with so far but shouldn't you get on with the sorting, we've been here ages." Hermione could have sworn the hat chuckled.

"Very little time has actually passed, communicating by this method is considerably faster, am I to assume its Gryffindor once again for both of you?"

"Only if you sort Ron Weasley somewhere else," Harry growled.

"Unfortunately I don't think I can, he has no loyalty which rules out Hufflepuff, let's just say his exclusion from Ravenclaw's a given while he has ambition enough for Slytherin there is no guile there."

Hermione wasn't going to stand for that, "Oh he managed to pull the wool over our eyes for all those years, I think he would fit right in there."

"I could offer you Ravenclaw?"

"With Cho and Marietta, no chance!"

"Hufflepuff?"

Harry was the one who scuppered this choice, "Justin and Ernie are worse than the Creevey brothers, at least I can ignore them."

"Well then I am rather at a loss…"

"Crawley."

"I'm sorry Mrs Potter I don't understand, that's not a house."

"Yes but my house is there, I say we get the fuck out of this place tonight and the country by next week. At least we'll live to see twenty."

Harry didn't need the use of language to know that Hermione's patience had finally snapped, apparently the sorting hat had cottoned on too because it suddenly shouted "Gryffindor married quarters!" before she could carry out her very real threat.

"What about Ron?" Harry asked before the hat could be removed.

"He shall be placed elsewhere."

Hermione had just enough time to say, "Place Luna in Gryffindor next year" before McGonagall lifted the battered old hat off their heads.

The sorting hat's confirmation that they were married saw them greeted with total silence as they made their way over to sit beside Neville, as he congratulated his new friends the spell was broken when McGonagall announced the next name to be sorted.

The couple were then bombarded with questions, which they politely ignored in favour of watching the staff's reaction while chatting to Neville. Harry felt no pain in his head when Quirrell turned around so the chances were good his scar was just that, Snape's permanent scowl made it difficult to get a read on him while the normally serene Dumbledore appeared as if he'd swallowed a wasp. He had to be nudged when the sorting was over and just signalled for the feast to begin, the old wizard obviously had a lot on his mind.

Harry reckoned he would be paying a visit to the headmaster's office sooner rather than later, Dumbledore would be disappointed.

They had just finished their meal, Harry trying not to eat too much because his stomach wasn't used to it, when the headmaster stood and gave his beginning of term announcements. Once again they were reminded that the forbidden forest was in fact just that, and again the third floor corridor was deadly.

They found themselves being escorted by McGonagall in the direction of Gryffindor tower, being a prefect down and having a married couple in her house led to her taking responsibility. Harry wasn't sure if it was just for a chance to question them prior to Dumbledore's summons, they were adopting the headmaster's style of not telling lies but definitely not supplying the entire truth.

"Where did you two meet?"

"We met on our first day of school, we've been best friends for years."

"When did you get married?"

"Today on the train apparently."

This caused Minerva to do a double take before Harry continued, "We had intended to get married in the future but the ring I gave her means we were married today."

"How did you get a hold of that ring?"

Harry faked a look of puzzlement, "It's a Potter family ring, I'm head of the Potter family by being the only one left, why shouldn't I have my ancestor's ring to give my girl?"

McGonagall was now the one puzzled, "Mr Potter, where did you hear all this?"

"Our new friend Neville told us, why wasn't I supposed to know my rights?"

They had reached the Gryffindor portrait hole so she was spared from answering, after telling the Potters the password she led the pair further down the corridor until stopping at a suit of armour standing in a recess. "Charles we have two for the married quarters, you need to set a password that will allow you entry."

Quick as a flash Hermione offered "Australia!" McGonagall's quizzical expression prompted an explanation, "My family are considering moving there, Harry and I have already started researching magical schools to decide what part of the country suits us best. Some of them look fantastic and for us a warm Australian beach will beat a drafty old Scottish castle every time."

'Charles' stood aside, revealing a hidden door, they entered what appeared a cosy one bedroom flat with its own large bedroom, sitting area, bathroom / shower and compact kitchen, they could be quit comfortable here.

Minerva's mind was still on the password though, "Mr Potter would you really move to Australia? Your parents would have wanted you here."

"Professor, my entire life I have been told my parents were no-good lazy drunks who died in a car crash, you saying they would have wanted me to attend here means nothing to me."

McGonagall couldn't believe what she was hearing, "James and Lily Potter were two of the kindest and bravest people I've ever met, they are heroes in our world!"

"Yet their son ended up living in a cupboard, treated no better than a slave. If that's how you treat your heroes professor, then maybe you can understand why Australia appears so attractive an option to us."

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