CHAPTER 3 : Harry Potter or Voldemort

General (POV)

"Mrs. Cole, I didn't do it"

"Billy Stubbs and his friends said it was you, and it is always you. Dead cats don't hang themselves on the loft. I never had any problem with the other children till now, it is always you. Last month Amy and Dennis fell on the stairs and were injured badly, I know that incident also has something to do with you.

I don't want to hear another one of your useless excuses. You won't be getting your breakfast and lunch today. Atone for your crimes till supper, and you are not allowed to leave your room today".

'I can still hear the cat's shrill noise it made while I was squeezing the life out of it. I wanted to hear more, but the cat stopped moving. DEAD. Is that what happened to it. Mrs. Cole said it was dead. What if I want to play with it again, will it come back.

Again no food for the day. It was not anything new. He will just have to eat more over supper'

…

"We don't want to play with you…you are weird. Go away" said the girl who was leading the group.

'Who wanted to play with you, whiny bitch. What was her name again. Emily..no..no, Emma. Yes, it is Emma. She has become the leader of that group after Ethan and Freddie got adopted '

'Snakes are a very good partner, compared to humans. Silly has been living with me for more than two weeks. He is also good at scaring people too. He also follows whatever I order him to do'

…

'I know I have some kind of power, it tries to protect me, cuddles me, excites me at times. Nobody is like me in the orphanage, they are nothing special. Just yesterday the power blasted Jhonny's toy across the hall'

'I am different and better than other kids'

…

"I told you to leave me alone, is it hard for you to understand"

"Shut up boy, there will be some guests coming to the orphanage at the noon. Dress up neatly. If they want you by chance, I can get rid of you at least "

…

He was rejected.

'I was rejected just because I looked pale. I don't need them. I can be on my own'

…

'I knew it was Dave that stole my shoes again. I know he is doing this because Silly saw him entering my room. He needs some reminder that I am not the same small child he used to bully'

I followed him to the shower room, I called upon my powers to make him feel pain, to make him burn, and….the boy burned. He won't be using his right hand any time soon. Definitely won't be stealing my things.

He was admitted to the hospital. The result was second-degree burns, scarred for life, and me not getting breakfast for one week. Worth it.

…

"Someone is here to see you" I opened my door and stood to the side welcoming a stranger. I don't like it when they enter without asking my permission.

"This is Mr. Dumberton…sorry, uh…. Mr. Dunderbore. He's come to tell you…well he will tell you the rest"

He looked up to see Dumbledore standing by the door. 'What is the heck is he doing here'

"Ahhhhhhh"

May 3rd, 1998.

Huff…huff..huff..

Harry opened his eyes gasping for more air. What a dreadful nightmare. No, that was not a nightmare, those were memories. And Harry exactly knew whose memories they were, LORD VOLDEMORT.

'Now why the Merlin's beard is his memories are in my head. Is this the reason why my mindset is changing or is it evolving? Is this the reason I have been hearing voices in my head all day yesterday? Is it just the memories or something else integrated into my mind?'

He must speak to someone about this. Who ?…. Hermione. That is a big NO. That bitch will run straight to McGonagall crying, "Harry is becoming dark professor, we need to help him". Then it will be in the headlines of Daily Prophet "HARRY POTTER - DARK LORD IN MAKING" or more like "HARRY POTTER OR YOU-KNOW-WHO".

He did not need another hyphenated title to be added to his name. He needed someone subtle. Someone knows how to keep a secret. Or else he had to face it himself head-on like he usually does.

'Bitch'….. hmm Harry recalled he never called Hermione by any other name other than 'Hermione'.

Sweats started forming on his forehead. He could feel the change in the way how he thought in his mind.

The seven years of suppressed childhood memories, behaviours, and manners have started to spill out and spiral out of control because of Voldemort's…mind or….memories whatever.

He needed to be careful from now on, even while speaking to others. Many people are very observant, especially McGonagall and the Weasleys. One wrong step and his butt will be landing in Azkaban or Department of Mysteries.

Harry stumbled when he tried to go towards the bathroom. He looked down to see the ground was farther than he had expected. With his eyes in good condition, he was able to notice the difference quickly. His hands and legs were longer than usual.

It took a second to measure his height using magic. The spell just appeared in his mind as he chanted it. He knew it must be a spell from Voldemort's memory.

As the results appeared in his mind he was astonished. He grew taller in a single night. Not by one or two inches, he grew over 5 inches (from 167 cm to 180 cm). That was a substantial difference.

He stood in front of the mirror in the room to gauge the changes that happened in his body. What was once a neglected physique, was now one that rippled with muscle in an athletic build. He was still skinny, but at least now he had a little bit of muscle.

Recently a lot of strange things were happening to him. In just the last two days. Hit by a killing curse, defeated a dark lord, didn't need glasses to see, his suppressed memories returning, Voldemort in his head, grew taller by a lot. He didn't know whether all this was good or bad. But still, he was happy to see he had grown taller.

During his Hogwarts years, he was originally self-conscious about his height. He was smaller than the smallest girl in his year. That has been the same from during his muggle school.

The things harry dealt with at the hands of Dursleys weren't something he would ever forget. The beatings and bullying were a small part. Lack of nutrition hampered his growth resulting in him being the smallest in their whole batch in Hogwarts. Even with proper food in Hogwarts during the school year did not rectify it 'must be one of Dumbledore's machinations. And being short always irked him much.

As Harry had guessed there were bindings or restrictions put upon his magical core and physical body during his childhood years. Those restrictions dissolved into nothing when he faced the Killing curse once again head-on in the forbidden forest. And since then his magic has been acting in full force to repair all the damages done to his body. The eyes were the first. Now his complete body had undergone massive changes.

Normally magic wouldn't act this way for any wizard or a witch, but Harry being a special case with a lot of coincidences and luck, it was possible.

He never came to know about these bindings or his magic being different until a later date. By that time he got used to his strangeness.

…....

Breakfast was already on the table when Harry entered the kitchen. Harry's body was on autopilot eating the food, but he was thinking about his current predicament.

Memories of a Dark Lord, some wacky magic altering his body. His childhood memories returning.

Turning towards Kreacher he asked, "Kreacher, the books I asked for, have you assembled them"

"yes, master harry potter sir, they are arranged in the library"

The library was simply huge, not at the level of Hogwarts but still huge. He saw a huge pile of books arranged on a bench around the corner. There was even a blackboard too, 'maybe that was used to teach the children of the house Black'

He had once heard Hermione telling about the Black family library. No, actually she was complaining about how she was unable to enter the library. Sirius was a little bit tough on her during those period saying "the library is only for the blacks or someone who is given explicit permission by the head of the house black can enter"

He had just entered the room without any hindrance. He chalked it up thinking maybe it was because he was the owner of Grimmauld place.

Harry returned his focus to the books.

Many books were arranged on the reading bench neatly, he could see there was no order in which the books were placed. He went through the name of some books. 'Occlumency - Put a lock on your mind (Series I), Secrets to your mind, Mind Magicks - Classifications, Become an Occlumens, Blank and empty - Beginner to Occlumency, Mind Arts - Navigate the Minds, Occlumency - Put a lock on your mind ADVANCED (Series II), Intricacies of mind, Deception - Control your emotions, Occlumency - Beat Veritaserum, Find your enemy's deepest secrets, Legilimency for beginners, Traverse through the mind, Bewitch the minds - Enchantment for Beginners, Mind Control - Simple enchantment techniques….' That's a lot of books to go through.

He felt Deja vu feeling and memories of pages in the book while seeing some of the books. He guessed those books must have already been read by Voldemort.

Harry started with "Mind Magicks - Classifications". Because this was the smallest book among all the ones in front of him. Which was also a good choice as it held some of the basics necessary.

The book went into detail explaining what are mind magicks, how the mind affects a person and his soul, and the importance of the Mind-Soul-Body trinity. And there were several segments he didn't understand some parts, that spoke about enchantment, enthralling, something about segmenting and he knew that book was beyond his level. But the trinity part, he could understand clearly. He read some more on that chapter.

Trinity is body, mind, and soul.

Now how does Trinity (body, mind, and soul) work?

The mind works as a bridge between body and consciousness. Whatsoever is input by the five senses is decoded by the mind into language/signals understandable by consciousness.

Body is a physical entity, which is made of bones flesh, and organs, it is perishable, it can do all the daily chores.

That element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel is mind. The mind is the mental/emotional aspect of the human being. The mind processes thoughts and ideas as well as feelings and emotions. The mind is consciousness, memory, and imagination.

Soul is an indivisible part of cosmic consciousness, which changes the body after death. The soul is the spiritual and immaterial part of a person. This is not perishable, it is immortal and everlasting. It is formless. It always thrives to grow spiritually and hence requires a vehicle of the physical body to achieve freedom, liberation, Rebirth. The soul is that part of us that longs to have meaning and seeks answers to the great questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?

The physical body is usually controlled by the mind, but as you meditate the soul starts to take control of the body.

The pages went on and on about the topic of the trinity. He understood everything as it was simple for him to understand.

The soul should be indivisible. Voldemort butchered and fragmented his soul into seven pieces. The seventh one is unintentional or not. His trinity was crippled and magic punished him with an unstable mind. Crazy and a lunatic. Maybe more. He became a psychopath with a demented personality.

Remus was affected by the werewolf virus, unintentional or not his trinity was also broken. The same goes for vampires. Both vampires and werewolves were human or magical at one point in time, with their trinity being broken they were punished with eternity with no feeling or taste and shape-shifting mad wolf at periodic intervals until the ends of their lives.

Harry has not seen any living example of breaking the trinity by altering the mind. That was also mentioned in the book. Trinity can't be broken in any way by altering the mind. You can control a person through 'imperius', through potions (love potion, loyalty potion, etc..), even segmenting your mind will not break the trinity.

After reading the "Mind Magicks - Classifications", he took another book " Mind Arts - Navigate the Minds ". This book was also easy to understand as some of Voldemort's memories helped him in many places. Voldemort's memories were veiled in a fog, that cleared from time to time to give him answers.

In the end, Harry had some understanding of mind magics. Legilimency, occlumency, charms (cheering charm, memory charm, etc…), some offensive spells, imperius, potions (veritaserum, calming drought, love potions, etc…), even some transfiguration that touches the surface of mind magicks (animagus, un-animate to animate, human to animal), are some examples of mind magics.

After reading through some books, he concluded that occlumency is the best way to sort out Voldemort's memories and find the reason for his abrupt change in his behaviour during Hogwarts.

Building occlumency shields is difficult, and he could infer from Voldemort's memories and the books. But sorting out the memories and organizing them is easy.

Harry just needed to organize out nearly fifty years' worth of Voldemort's memory, nearly twenty years of his memory, and sort all the unwanted emotions that are festering his mind.

He knew this problem cannot be resolved in one day. But he really did not want Voldemort's memories in his mind for longer periods affecting him, without any hindrance.

'Even after his death that snake-faced fucker is giving me more trouble' Harry grumbled under his breath and started planning.

The war has just finished and there are still nearly three months till school reopening. That was confirmed the news, as he overheard some people discussing it. Most probably that was the reason McGonagall was working on full force as soon as the battle was over.

Harry planned to attend Hogwarts even if had to attend with his juniors. He needed Newts to survive in the Britain Wizarding world. He can use his status as Boy-who-lived and get away with most of the things. But that title has zero power. Just like during fourth-year summer. He was almost done for, because of improper use of magic. And he was not powerful like Dumbledore or Voldemort and have his own group of followers for support.

Harry believed himself to be average because he had seen both Dumbledore and Voldemort clashing against each other in the ministry. So much power was involved there. They both were colossal magical titans. And he thought could never perform spells like those in his lifetime.

Well, that was before the magical restraints that were present in his magical core. But now with the absence of the bindings, he can also be considered as one of the colossal magical titans. Even now he is more powerful than Voldemort at his prime. The prophecy came true to defeat the dark lord.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."

This was the prophecy given by Sybil Trelawney.

While the prophecy has come true, there were unknown parts hidden in there, which nobody knew about. Even Dumbledore's explanation to Harry about the prophecy was sketchy and half-truths. Harry only came to know about the full meaning of the prophecy at a later date.

Even him becoming aware of his own power was when others told him about it. Till then he considered himself to be average.

While Harry was thinking about his schooling and NEWTS, he briefly considered running away from the wizarding world and enjoying life. He scoffed at that thought. Britain's wizarding world would never let him leave in peace.

Ahh….I have to make a schedule and stay clear of Hermione and Weasleys during this period' And he knew that was impossible. After much thought he started writing separate letters to Prof. McGonagall, Hermione, Ron and to rest of the Weasleys that he was safe, taking some time off and not to search for him. He would explain the rest when meeting them in person in 2-3 days.

Harry started practising the 'blank and empty' state. He didn't know whether it was due to Voldemort's memories (experience) or his minuscule amount of skills in practising occlumency, he achieved the blank state within minutes he started the exercise.

He built a white room around his avatar in his mind and meditated for a while, then started to comb through his mind or what looked like a mind.

He soon came across a black mass, that shouldn't be present in his mind. The black mass consisted of foreign magic…..no it was his magic mixed with foreign magic. It was just his magic in the black mass was detached from his magical core and infesting the foreign magic. And it connected to his magical core from time to time, releasing memories from the black mass.

Harry could feel the power rolling off it. The black mass was just memories and emotions but that alone was sinister and yet….strangely intoxicating. He didn't know how long he stood there looking at it. Was it a few seconds, hours, or days. Time, it seemed, had come to a halt as he gazed at what was in front of him. He reached out wanting to know more about the black mass...more like his magic in the black mass was calling him to touch it, to assimilate it.

His hands stretched out, touching the mass of his magic and the foreign magic.

Harry could feel the wrongness of the presence of the mass in front of him and he knew that it had to go. At the same time, he could feel the power it held. These are memories, emotions, experiences, skills of a powerful dark wizard. It intoxicated him... and with his magic already mixed into the black mass, it wanted to be fuse with his own. It called out to the darkness in his very soul created by less than happy childhood of his and the various encounters he had later on, during his Hogwarts years, his suppressed memories... and for the first time in his life, he listened to his heart.

The instant he came in contact with it, he felt the power rush into his body. Immediately the dark emotions that were enclosed within the black mass started fighting back, influencing him, trying, in the process, to drain him. But it was all in vain, his own magic that was present in the black mass succeeded in suppressing it.

This thing was just the memories and skills of the Dark Lord, if the very soul of Voldemort was present here, it would have been yet another hurdle in the fighting process. Still, it was not all that hindrance to harry, the emotions were the problem. Voldemort's emotions held a large amount of darkness to them. Like his own. His childhood memories too held a certain level of darkness that he needed to sort out. Removing Voldemort's emotions is a better solution than adding them into his already dark mind. Which is an easier process than sorting it out. So he avoided the emotions or rather erased the emotions from entering his mind.

As the power flooded into him, it came with a cacophony of sights and sounds, disjointed memories and thoughts. At first, harry felt dizzy in his mind before the feeling of being clairvoyant came like a huge wave.

His sensitivity to magic and proficiency in manipulating it inside and outside of his body has increased. Not by a lot, but he could feel the difference clearly.

Before this, he could only use simple force catalyzing methods such as explosive and oppression while using spells like Patronus, disarming curses, and charms. He would pump as much magic into these spells before to work.

But now, he only just have to guide his magic a little to a spell to increase its power. And the barrier he once felt was not present now. It is one of the reasons why the performance of transfiguration was very difficult for him.

And with the bindings on Harry's magical core, restricted his complete access to his magical core. The other reason is, him not putting enough effort (only because of external influences on his mind).

Harry didn't know how long he spent on fusing these memories, but in his mental world, it took him days, maybe nearly a week. After every memory was blended into his own, everything turned into mirrors and scattered into his mental world.

Yes, into 'Mirrors'.

For everyone who is practising occlumency, sorting/collecting their memories is the first step. Then comes organizing. While sorting their memories turn into something they hold intimate feelings or something they cherished.

For Voldemort, it turned into cabinets and cupboards of different shapes and sizes. Because it was the day Dumbledore ignited his cupboard in the orphanage room with his wandless magic to show him power is everything. That left a deep influence on the boy Tom Riddle. Dumbledore wanted to show him domination after hearing about tom's behaviour from Mrs. Cole. He originally thought doing this will curb Tom's disobedience.

Harry had seen it in the pensive along with Dumbledore. Now that he had seen it from Voldemort's perspective, he knew that Dumbledore was half the reason for Voldemort to carve for power.

For Harry, after sorting his disorganized memories, they turned into mirrors. The reason was during his first year he had seen 'THE MIRROR OF ERISED', which left a deeper impression than harry had originally imagined. If it wasn't for that mirror, Harry's memories too would have turned into cupboards.

Up until this moment, he followed the steps in the occlumency book to sort his memories.

Now all he needs is to organize them in order, he has to go through them one by one and deal with them. Everything. Even his darkest childhood memories. He couldn't remove his own dark emotions and memories as he did with Voldemort's. Those emotions originated from him and belong to harry in the first place.

He can lock them away. Those dark emotions and memories. But those memories are like a time bomb waiting to be unleashed at the worst possible time. Like now when he tried to integrate Voldemort's memories, they played a huge influence in enticing him. He didn't want another episode of it happening again.

And even the books implied that all the memories should be sorted. Whether it was good or bad, it was part of him, to begin with.

He wanted to begin the next step, but he was completely drained.

At present, he was very tired, and his magic was exhausted too. He needs to take proper rest before going through his memories again to organize them.

Harry opened his eyes and tried to stand up, he couldn't. He stumbled and fell to the floor.

There was something different. He couldn't point out what it was. Not like this morning where he grew a few inches. It was like the world around him was colourful. It felt….it felt like…..

'Somehow I feel Alive. Yes. I feel Alive'.

That was what Harry felt, him being free and alive.

"master potter sir be needing any assistance" a flustered elf appeared near him.

"How long have I been sitting here" Harry guessed at least 3-4 days must have gone by.

"master potter sir, it has been twelve hours you beeing sitting in the same place"

'Hmm…it had taken less time than I had expected' His head was soon drumming madly.

'Looks like mental exhaustion is more serious than I thought'

"Bring me a vial of sleeping draught," Harry said to Kreacher. Soon the elf reappeared with a box containing many vials.

Harry took a particular vial from the box and poured the contents into his mouth. He was out, as soon as the potion entered his stomach.

…....

AN: I will be honest with you all, this is my first fanfic and my first time writing a story. I wanted the story to be just 80k to 100k words. But when the story started I couldn't fit everything I want into a single chapter. It has been already 15 chapters, I am nowhere near the plotline.

Please don't expect a masterpiece.

I am trying to develop the main character, I want Harry to be smart, manipulative and powerful. At present Harry, himself doesn't know what to do in the magical world. He got powerful all of a sudden, with no enemies around he tries to live his life leisurely.

As the days go on, the wizarding world he comes across doesn't sit well within his mind and he tries to change it using his powers (Like Voldemort).

Before that happens, he gets himself pulled into a series of altercations in the larger world, just like during his Hogwarts years.

Plus the damage of the Voldemort's memories, he would only come to know of it later into the story)