399 Lost

"The hell is this?" Chris almost screamed with revulsion and fury. "That bitch! I should have just killed her. What the fuck did I spare her for? She should have rotten like Umbridge."

Chris's voice rose and Ginny's voice came out from the tent,

"Chris? Colin? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, we are fine, Ginny," Colin answered.

"Then come quick. Very few eggs are left," Luna called out.

"Yes, Luna, we are coming in a bit," Colin replied sweetly and turned to Chris. "Chris, calm down for a moment. Take a deep breath. C'mon."

Chris glared at Colin for a full minute but when he didn't give up, she took a deep breath and let it out. Colin made her do it a few times before Chris calmed down a little bit, but she was still very angry.

"I really thought she would change after I spared her, but no. Problematic behaviors die hard. What's she getting into Dumbledore's life for? How dare she defames him after his death? How could she make a circus of Dumbledore's tragic moments?" Chris spat.

"I am upset too, Chris but you know what, Dumbledore wouldn't have cared. Rita Skeeter wrote a lot of bad stuff even when Dumbledore was alive. All Dumbledore's people know him, they wouldn't believe what twisted things Rita Skeeter would write," Colin calmly explained.

But his words made Chris flinch. Colin thought Dumbledore's people knew him, but did they really know Dumbledore? There were a lot of things Dumbledore hid from them for years. Dumbledore sometimes told Chris Harry's secrets but what about her secrets? Dumbledore never told her that it was him, who changed her house at the sorting ceremony, neither he told them about the girl that came out of Slytherin's locket last year, or . . .

"What?" Colin noticed Chris frowning.

"Nothing, I just . . . I know Rita is going to write rubbish but it's not like we . . ." Chris stopped herself. Dumbledore was gone and she shouldn't doubt him now. He was still a brilliant mentor, who trusted her. He was like a family. "Nothing, Colin. Maybe I overreacted a bit. You are right. Everyone wouldn't trust Rita. But honestly, how could she write stuff like that and talk about me and Harry's unnatural adolescents, what the hell? Did she forget what I could do to her? Did she forget I'm still around?"

"I think she did," Colin said.

"What?"

"You have been gone for a long time, Chris, without a trace. A lot of people thought you are dead. Even Kingsley believed that, so probably Skeeter do too."

Chris fell silent. Everyone told her that she shouldn't feel guilty anymore for leaving that day without telling anyone, but the more she remembered Fergus's words, the more she felt guilty. So much time has passed, was there really any time left before the end of this war? What if she never got to see her Dad again. What if she never got to see Harry again? Or Aurelia? Sirius? Remus? Tonks? Fred? George? Bill? Hermione? Even Ron?

"You know, I can see how worried you are," Colin lowered her voice suddenly.

"Huh?" Chris looked at him surprised.

"Maybe I wasn't always so observant, Chris but I have learned a lot after spending so much with three crazy girls," Colin tried to joke, and Chris rolled her eyes. "Ginny can be pretty intimidating and single-minded. Luna is . . . well Luna. She doesn't care about the world, and you are very goal-oriented, so much so that you can completely forget everything other than the stuff you have to do or you should do, your duties and responsibilities. So I guess, I am the only one who had to take the job of noticing things. And I know, your big smiles in front of Sol and Oziyat are very fake. In fact, since we have left Titian, I have noticed you are acting a little weird and my sixth sense is telling me something is up. I know Ginny was very happy to meet Charlie, and the news about Harry, Ron, and Hermione had brought us back here, but I know there is something else, am I wrong?"

Chris stared at Colin, unable to speak, and before she could say something Ginny called out again.

"Chris! Colin! This is your last chance, if you are not coming then we are finishing your breakfast!"

"I think she isn't kidding," Colin's eyes widened.

"Let's talk later," Chris whispered.

Colin nodded and ran towards the tent, shouting,

"Hey! I'm still hungry!"

Chris tried to smile but let out a sigh as she looked at the Daily Prophet in her hands. Looking at Dumbledore's photograph she mumbled,

"If only you were here, Professor. If only you could help me find Harry and give me some advice on what to do. After knowing everything about myself and my magic I should feel good, right? But all I feel is . . . lost. Am I lost?"

****

After breakfast, Sol and Chris went back to their practice. This time Chris needed a distraction and cheering Sol up helped her. After practice and a quick small lunch, Chris gathered everyone to discuss how to look for Harry.

"Well . . . let's see, we can't send any sort of message to them because it could get intercepted or they could get caught," Ginny started.

"And no Portkey, Apparation, or Fawkes will work unless we know their exact location," Colin listed.

"My Dementors can't find them because they have those protection charms, you guys made," Chris added.

"And we don't have any personal belonging of Harry, Ron, or Hermione, which we can use for the tracking spell," Luna concluded.

The discussion circled like this a few times but they still came up with nothing. After that Chris didn't feel like sitting inside the tent, so she took the first round to keep watch outside the tent. That afternoon fresh flakes drifted down upon them so that even their sheltered clearing had a fresh dusting of powdery snow. Chris moved an old cushion into the tent mouth and sat down, wearing all the sweaters she got from Leyla, but even so, still shivery. The darkness deepened with the passing hours until it was virtually impenetrable.

Ginny and Luna both came out twice to offer to watch but both of the times, Chris refused. She was feeling restless and the thought of being cooped up in a tent with other people, who were always looking at her with their high expectations, did not help. Because she didn't have the answers. She didn't have a plan.

Staring at the pitch-black darkness of the riverbank and listening to crickets, Chris wondered if that's how Harry felt when he had no idea where she was. If that's how Ginny, Luna, and Colin felt when they set out to look for her without any clue.

Another strong cold wind blew and shivering Chris rummaged through her pockets to take out her gloves when her hand brushed the bronze Fergus gave her. After a moment of hesitation, Chris pulled out the bronze and brushed her thumbs over the design, and immediately her magic responded to it. Magic rushed to her palm and a white glow appeared in front of her. The next thing she knew, Fergus was standing before her.

"It's been a long couple of days, is it not Christina?"

⟦To be continued⟧