Chapter 16

After that day, a thought continuously lingered in Tomori's mind. It's a trivial matter to most, but to someone who had hardly ever been treated right by the world, it's a big deal. When she was sitting at the dinner table, those depressing middle school days came rushing back like a flood. The fragmented memories, short but vivid, reminded her of why she had brunette hair in the first place.

As far back as she could remember, people didn't like her natural blonde hair. Her dad was German, and met her mom on a business trip. His hair was smooth and a beautiful shade of blonde, like sunshine. Her hair too, had a radiant shine that was similar to that of a golden thread. As beautiful as it may be, it was seen as alien where she lived. In a place filled with xenophobia, she was a living target.

It was just a random school day, before she dyed her hair. She was making her way to class as per usual, when she overheard some girls gossiping.

"Hey, you seen that Tomori chick? I heard she dyed her hair."

"Really? In middle school? She sure has some screws loose huh?"

"I heard she's half german."

"Since when did we start welcoming those drunkards?"

"Shush, she might hear you."

This was nothing special to her, for she had heard conversations like these thousands of times. What really bothered her, was the people who were talking. One of whom was a popular girl who would make rumors about others, bully them and turn them into her lap dogs. 'They'll probably leave me alone', Tomori thought, as she resumed her walk to class.

As with many other things, Tomori was wrong. Not only did they not leave her alone, but they also got their parents involved. They told their parents that Tomori was "daughter of a drunkard", "a delinquent", and many other not-so-flattering names. Day after day, she'd find her desk vandalized, her locker filled with trash, and her mail filled with threats. 'And for what?', she thought. 'What did we do that was so wrong?'

Her parents too, received threats and harassment for simply living. What used to be such a happy, warm household became increasingly bleak and dreary. They became lifeless husks, only knowing how to work, cook, study, and trying to ignore everything else. They even got her hair dyed brown, so that no one would judge-simply not having pure Japanese genetics was enough for them to continue.

One fateful day, Tomori was up late doing her school work when she received yet another harassment message. She was sick and tired of it all, but what more could she do than blocking the number? She hurried downstairs in her little home to find a quick snack to uplift her mood, hoping that she would forget all about it tomorrow, when something caught her eye. It was shining under the moonlight on the dining table, as if it was calling her to pick it up: a knife.

She picked it up, and went to her parents' room.

"If only dad wasn't German. If only he didn't exist, maybe…"

She mumbled to herself

"…Maybe I wouldn't have had to suffer."

She said shakingly, barely keeping herself from crying. Tears were being held back, but hatred flooded her mind. Ultimately, however, she couldn't do it. She loved her dad too much. Despite the hell being his daughter put her through, she still loved him, and the opposite was true too.

Her mind, however full of hatred, showed her all the moments they shared. He taught her how to ride a bike, helped her with homework. He would crack dry jokes at the dinner table that no one would laugh at. She remembered seeing her dad work long hours, just to get her into a good school. He did so much for her, and had spent so much time with her, yet she dared try to betray him like this?

"I'm a monster…"

She said with tears running down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, mom, dad. I'm sorry for existing, for causing you stress over trash like me. For all the threats you got from the neighbors…"

She stopped abruptly, glaring at the knife once again.

"Then…I'm the one that deserves this."

…

"…-chan, Naomi-chan! You're still sitting there?"

A voice rang from upstairs, so warm and soothing that one might mistake it for an angel.

"Ah! Nothing mom, you should go to bed early, dad too…"

"You go to sleep soon too honey, we don't want baggy eyes now do you."

"I will…"

Just as she was about to head to bed, a familiar shine caught her eye. The knife was waiting there, once again calling to her, demanding that she pay for her sins, for deceiving Haku and exploiting his kindness.

'Just a small cut will do… right?'