Chapter 5

I go to my room and answer the million texts from Martina and Lorenzo asking me how was my day. I get a few texts from other old friends but I leave them on read. I don't feel like answering anything yet, at least not people from my old life excluding my best friends. I really hope we keep being close, I know many people who promise with tears in their eyes that they'll keep in touch but never do. But as long as we keep balancing each other out nothing will change. I get a new notification.

Uknown number:

[5:17]: remember, tomorrow at eight sharp on the school's steps. don't be late.

It's Savannah. I think. I ask her if it's her, even though it's stupid, it's obvious that it's her. And she gives me the same answer. I should stop being like this.

Rose:

[5:19]: Ok...

[5:19]: How did you get my number?

Savannah:

[5:31]: asked mitch

Ok why did Mitch give her my number? I told him that I think that phone numbers are very personal. He should have known to ask me. I'm half mad at him so I call him.

"Hey." he says.

"Why did you give my phone number to Savannah?"

"Because she asked me. Plus, it looks like someone has a crush on her."

"I don't have a crush on her. I get weird for reasons you wouldn't understand."

"What? I'm not a lesbian so I can't tell if you like someone or not?"

"No, it's stuff I can't tell you."

"And why not?"

"Because it's private stuff."

"For you or for her?"

"For both."

"If you like her, how is it a private thing for her."

"I DON'T LIKE HER, IT'S SOMETHING ELSE."

"And why can't you say what it is?"

"Because it's pri-vate."

"You like her."

"No I don't. Even if, what does it matter to you?"

"Nevermind. Bye."

He hangs up. The problem is, even if she's like this, I think I am starting to have a crush on her. I already had a crush on her, but I don't know if this one is still a celebrity crush or a real one.

The next morning I wake up at half past seven, have breakfast, say good morning to Martina and Lorenzo, even if they're probably on their way to school already, and get dressed. Today I don't really care about how I dress, I don't care about anything. As long as I get less attention as possible, both from Mitch and from the rest of the school. I get a large shirt and some sportive shorts. I tie my hair up like normal, not even doing my makeup. I get out of the house, reading a text from Mitch saying that his mom won't be able to pick me up so early. I walk to school and when I get there, five past eight, I see Savannah on her phone leaning on the handrail of the entrance's steps. She looks up and for a nanosecond I see a curious face, but as soon as she recognizes me she goes back to her bored and annoyed one.

"Follow." And she walks through the doors. I do as I'm told and she shows me around the school. "What are you wearing? Nevermind, don't answer." She says, watching me with disgust. I suddenly feel subconscious. I should have dressed better.

There are already a few people at school, including Savannah's friends. Most of them are in the library and some people laugh when they see us.

"May I ask two questions?" I can't resist.

"You've already asked one."

"You know what I mean."

"Fine then. What?"

"Why are you taking time to show me around and everything without even me asking?" I'm dying to know what is the answer to this one. I highly doubt she would be interested. But I still would like to know, I have a little bit of hope. Everyone has hope when it comes to love. Even if they don't want to admit it. Even if it's just a little bit, it's still there.

"Because Mr. Stance hates me and if he finds out I'm not doing it I'll get failed."

"Oh." I feel really bad. I wish I could just bury myself under a rock.

"Your second question?"

"Oh, yeah. Right. Why are people staring at us and laughing?"

She suddenly seems amused and a little smile forms. I think that smile hit jackpot. My heart starts racing, I feel the hot and cold thing, the clouds around my head thing and so much more all of a sudden.

"Because people know you have a crush on me."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, your friend, Mitch told everyone. He put it on Instagram yesterday evening. Feel lucky, you were 'friends' with the most popular guy in school. Never trust anyone here."

"But he isn't like the others..."

"You kidding? He's one of the jocks. He just had fun with you and asked the school to pretend as if he were one of the nerds."

"Oh." I'm in pieces. Fuck. He was the only one I told to that I'm a lesbian and I didn't even admit that I like Savannah. I hate Mitch and I hate this fucking school.

"Well, that's it." She says, laughing, as she walks towards her friends, which by the way are laughing like idiots too. I want to punch them, no actually, I want to punch everyone.

When I get back home, the minute I close my bedroom door I start crying. I call Martina. She doesn't answer so I call Lorenzo. He doesn't pick up either. What the fuck are they doing, they always answer. They even said that they were going to call. Screw them. I go on Instagram and check Mitch's profile. There it was. A picture of him laughing with written "Fuck it, I just found out that Rose Bianchi is a lesbian and has a crush on Savannah Petroli." Idiot.