Chapter 13

I wake up at half past eight in the morning. Savannah didn't text me anything yesterday so I suppose she's going to pick me in an hour and a half. I go make myself breakfast and eat it in front of the TV for half an hour. I go to my room and put my clothes on, keeping the shirt open so my top is visible. I put black eyeliner, mascara and dark brownish lipstick. I attach two chains to my trousers, one shorter than the other. I look a bit like an e-girl except for the blonde hair, but nevermind. I put on black socks and black shoes. I hear someone knock at the door so I get my phone, my wallet and go open the door. As I expected there's Savannah just outside of it. she looks up and down and smiles. But it doesn't look dirty like when she checks girls out, it's cute, like she's happy to see me. She holds out her arm as I grab it and we walk towards her car.

"So, where we going?" I ask. She gets in and says "Bowling, lunch, a special place and the movies. I forgot to tell you we're going to stay out 'till late. Wanna go back in to tell your parents?"

"Nah, I'll text my grandmother."

"Why her?"

"Because my mom's at work and I would tell her rather than my grandfather."

"Your father?" It stings but I know she doesn't intend it in a bad way, she's just curious, she doesn't even know what's happened.

"He's in Italy probably fucking some twenty year old." I answer.

"Oh. Oh God, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." I don't like the pity in her eyes, though I still don't understand why she's nice. She kind of seems like the Savannah she was in Italy. She's honest, I can tell she's genuinely sorry.

"No it's fine. Actually, my grandmother will probably get kinda cross if I text her, I'm gonna pop in and tell her. Coming back." I dash to the door, open it and scream that I'm coming back late. I get an ok and run back to the car. I get in. Savannah turns to me, smiles, says that I look cute dressed like that and starts the car. My stupid face blushes, I can feel the heat crawl up my neck and in my cheeks. I hate the effect she has on me. God no, she doesn't have any effect on me, she cannot and will not. I'm just going to hurt myself.

While she drives she says "We have to team up sometime and do a prank or something. We could talk in Italian with each other like a secret code, it'll be fun. You remember Italian, don't you?"

"I came here just a few months ago." I deadpan.

"Ok, I take that as a yes. Who do you want to prank first?"

"Light prank or heavy prank?"

"We can plan both if you want."

"Ok so light prank Ava, heavy Mitch."

"You're planning your revenge, tough, I like it. What do you have in mind?"

"I don't know really. I'm just really mad."

"Understandable. But you want it to be something big. We have the whole day to think about it."

"Yeah. You're really on my side?" It feels weird, my eyes sting with tears but I hold them back, I can't cry in front of her. Hearing someone being by my side actually makes me feel like someone cares, something I haven't felt for a really long time. I know my mom and grandparents love me but it's not really the same. It's unconditional and because we're related. I need someone who loves me for who I am. But then, my father didn't love me so I guess not all family love is unconditional. I shouldn't take them for granted, I should have learned my lesson. But I can't think of that now, I'm out with bloody Savannah.

"Listen, you know my story, you know what it feels like. I don't know if you're that cold or mad to actually tell it to one of my friends, but you know already a lot, you know me better than anyone else in that school even if I don't know you, I'm in complete darkness with you but for some reason I trust you. I don't think there's any point in hiding our true personalities when we're together. And I'm talking about you too, I can't understand which is the real Rose. Anyway, being the real me means helping someone and fighting for them when they've been mistreated. I'm really really really sorry for being part of it. I mean it. I panicked because you come from Italy and you looked like someone I could trust but I thought I could have trusted some people back at home too when I shouldn't have so I didn't know what to do. And I took it out like that. I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I understand if you hate me or if you tell me to fuck myself when I behave the way I behave around people. I understand if you don't want to go on the date anymore, I can take you home. Shit, I ruined it. I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that yes, I'm on your side, shit. Sorry." She sounds like she meant every word, God she looks hurt.

Woah, ok. "Date?"

"Yeah, I wanted to take you on a date today but didn't say it was a date because I was scared you would take it badly or say no or something. I should have told you, sorry."

"Why are you constantly apologizing when it's not needed?"

"Because you should choose whether to go out with me or not and I said lots of stuff I shouldn't have said and now I made it awkward." She pulls up and puts her head in her hands.

"No, it's fine."

She turns to me, she looks weak. God, I kinda feel sorry for her. I just feel like hugging her and holding her close so she feels better. I wanna kiss her stupid face forever. But it could be her trying to get in my pants, not her actually wanting to be with me. And of course an old friend called insecurities had to come and ruin the moment. "Really?" she asks.

"Really." she gives me a little smile and goes back to driving.