12. Chapter 12

For what felt like the thirtieth time in as many minutes, Carina questioned whether or not she was crazy.

It was a word she hated – a word that had been carelessly flung at her father and her brother.

But even Carina had to admit that the only word suitable for what she was considering was crazy.

She tried to relax as she sat in Cormac’s office because while she may have felt off-balance, she didn’t need her colleagues seeing her so frazzled. When Cormac walked in and sat down, she leaned back in her chair and crossed one leg over her knee.

“Checking on the Sigurdsson baby?” Cormac asked, referring to the baby with a cleft palate she’d delivered earlier in the day.

“No. I wanted to talk with you about Jamie.”

If Cormac was surprised, he didn’t show it. Instead, he smiled knowingly, and Carina briefly wondered if Amelia or Teddy had said something to Link or Owen or any number of people who shared hospital gossip. She pushed away the thought – her friends wouldn’t betray her trust over something so important.

“Ah, of course. We’re monitoring her PDA closely. So far, I’m still hoping it will heal on its own with indomethacin,” Cormac said.

Carina knew that PDA was quite common in newborns, especially preemies, but the thought of Jamie’s heart defect made her anxiety flare. She couldn’t wait to see Jamie later in the day and hold her close.

“Have you tried ibuprofen?” She asked, trying to keep her voice even.

“No. Be we’ll likely introduce it next week, depending on her latest EKG.”

Carina nodded, agreeing with the plan.

She felt herself tongue-tied, as if her body was trying to prevent the words from coming out. But Carina DeLuca was never one to censor herself. She was never one to not say exactly what she wanted to say. So, with a silent prayer for courage, Carina pushed ahead.

Now or never.

“There is one more thing,” she said, relieved that Cormac couldn’t tell that her hands had gone cold from nerves.

“Hmm?”

“My wife and I are considering adopting her.”

Cormac raised his eyebrows, clearly caught off-guard, but the shock was soon replaced with curiosity.

“We will need to speak with the social worker, of course,” Carina continued, watching Cormac’s face for any sign of judgment, “but I was hoping you could set up a meeting. The decision hasn’t been made yet, but Maya and I want to know the process.”

“That’s a bit of a surprise, Carina, but I’d be more than happy to make introductions. She’s a special little thing, isn’t she? Looks up with those blue eyes and suddenly you want to give her the moon.”

Carina nodded knowing exactly what Cormac was referring to. Her need to see Jamie only intensified.

“Thank you. And…one more thing? If you could keep this between the two of us, I would appreciate it.”

The last thing she needed was the hospital gossiping about crazy, baby-hungry Dr. DeLuca.

“Of course,” Cormac said, still smiling. She could sense he was pleased with the idea and Carina had to force herself not to skip too far ahead. She had to force herself not to imagine a day when Jamie could come home, safe in Maya’s arms, protected and there’s forever.  

They were just gathering information. They were not making a decision.

Yet.

Carina stood and thanked Cormac again before leaving his office. She had two hours to go before the end of her shift. Two hours before she could see Jamie again.

~*~

Jamie was just waking up from a nap when Carina arrived.

The baby waved her arms in what appeared to be a full body stretch, but as soon as Carina picked her up, Jamie yawned and promptly fell back asleep, comfortable, and safe against Carina’s shoulder.

Carina pulled a small side-table closer and set her phone on a stand she’d brought the day before. With Maya away, she knew they’d be spending a lot of time on FaceTime, but it was easier to have her hands free so she could hold Jamie properly while still carrying on a conversation.

When her phone buzzed a second later, Carina eagerly hit accept, unable to keep the smile from her face as Maya appeared.

“Hey,” Maya said, running her hand through her hair. Carina’s fingers twitched, she badly wanted to do the same. Maya’s hair was so soft, Carina couldn’t seem to keep herself from touching it. Not that Maya ever complained.

“Ciao, Bella,” Carina whispered, wistful. It had only been a few days, but she really missed her wife. Especially as they were in the midst of such a tumultuous, confusing time between considering adoption and Maya’s career angst.

Maya leaned forward and narrowed her eyes. “How’s Jamie? She asleep?”

“Yes. Being a baby is very tiring.”

“What about you? Long day?”

Carina nodded. “Four deliveries. One c-section. And an emergency hysterectomy. I am very tired.”

Maya winced in sympathy.

“Isn’t your shift over? You should go get some rest, Carina,” Maya said.

“Soon. I talked to Cormac today. He’s going to set up a meeting with the social worker for us next week.”

Carina wasn’t sure how Maya would take the news. Theoretically adopting Jamie was one thing. Actually putting a plan into motion was another.

Sure enough, Maya exhaled sharply as her eyes widened in obvious surprise.

“Is that okay?” Carina asked, unable to read Maya’s expression.

Maya bit her lip. “Yeah. I mean…yes, it is. It’s good. Just…a lot, you know?”

“È molto,” Carina agreed.

Carina watched as Maya refocused, as her worried gaze found Jamie. It was as if Jamie was an anchor point, a touch stone. As if Maya sought Jamie as a way to quell her own anxiety.

Because despite the enormity of what they were considering, at its centre was a very small, very beautiful little soul. And while Maya had yet to say it out loud, Carina knew her wife well enough to see that Jamie was very important to her.

As expected, Maya’s next question was a redirect, but impossibly sweet.

“Is she cold? She’s always in just a diaper and she’s so little,” Maya said, her face etched with concern.

You love her. I can see it all over your face. Just let yourself feel it. Let yourself want it. Let yourself have it. We could have this, Maya, we could have her, she could be…

“I have an extra blanket here, Bambina. I’ll make sure she’s comfortable.” Carina curled her hand around one of Jamie’s feet, melting at how tiny it was, how soft it was.

With a heavy sigh, Maya looked at Carina and pouted.

“I have to go soon,” she said, clearly not wanting to move.

“Be safe please.”

“No guarantees. Not with Big Foot and all the lava…this place is a deathtrap.”

“Big Foot?” Carina raised one eyebrow, choosing to ignore her wife’s strange sense of humour.

“Big Foot. Giant, hairy guy. Walks around scaring people.”

“Sounds like my Zio Salvatore.”

Maya snorted and the sight of her smile made Carina’s longing even worse. She loved that toothy grin. It was such a rare sight in recent days.

Despite her promise to Maya that she’d go home and get some rest, Carina stayed with Jamie well into the evening. She bathed her and changed her diaper and sniffed the top of her head, soaking up every second she could.

When it was finally time to leave, Carina looked down at Jamie sleeping in her little crib. She was still hooked up to an IV and numerous censors. The nasal canula taped to her face was a constant reminder that despite her progress, Jamie was not out of the woods.

But she had a squishy firefighter teddy bear and a stuffed T-Rex to protect her, to watch over her, and Carina found herself once again wishing that Maya was waiting for her at home. She so hated to be alone. And she wanted her squishy firefighter for protection too.

We can have this. We can have her.

She could be ours.

~*~

Five days into her Castle Rock exile, Maya realized that she no longer showed up to work angry. It was such a change, such a welcome shift in perspective, that she almost felt like she was forgetting something. She’d lived with the anger for so long that she’d nearly forgotten what it felt like not to be angry.

Sitting in the Beanery with her new colleagues, Maya looked around, shocked once more by how functional District Six seemed to be, how professional. From what she could tell, there were no personal entanglements. The team respected Captain Dale, they respected each other, and if there were rifts or professional jealousies between them, they managed to keep it very quiet.

Maya sipped coffee from a chipped District Six mug and watched the people around her go about their morning assignments.

Hawk was in the barn rolling hoses with Jacobi, their newest recruit. He was barely out of the academy, but Maya liked his work ethic. She also appreciated Hawk’s comradery and her dedication to the job. On calls, Maya found herself working most often alongside the short, dark-haired woman and while they’d yet to develop the same short-hand she had with Jack or Andy, Maya trusted her, which meant a great deal in their line of work.

Jennings was on desk duty, as usual, which left Briggs Packard and the District’s other lieutenant, Bobby Truman, to make breakfast.

“Big weekend plans, Bishop?” Packard asked from his position near the stove. He was frying bannock and the smell was making Maya’s mouth water.

“Heading back to the city,” she said, trying not to sound too eager.

Packard nodded once. “Ah. A few of us are heading to the pow wow at the community centre if you were interested.”

“Rain check?” Maya was genuinely touched by how inclusive her new team seemed to be. They’d known her for five days and were already trying to include her in social events outside of work. She could barely remember the last time she’d gone to Joe’s with A-Squad...

Truman set down his clipboard and smiled widely towards Maya.

“Enough Packard, she’s been playing with that ring all week. Excited to see your husband?” He asked, his eyes darting from Maya’s finger to her face.

The question gave her pause and she found herself doing the quick mental calculation that always happened in this situation, weighing whether or not it was safe to come out. But she was also unwilling to hide her marriage, so better to tell the truth. Worst case scenario? The next two weeks would be hostile and she’d have to punch a homophobe.

Hostile work environments were kind of her thing lately.

“I’m excited to see my wife, yeah,” Maya said, studying Truman’s face as she spoke.

He didn’t react. Neither did Packard.

“Alright then, let’s see your girl.” Truman crossed his arms and waited expectantly. The door opened as Truman made his request and Hawk, Jacobi, and Captain Dale walked in, ready for breakfast.

Maya couldn’t help the swell of pride in her chest as she placed her phone on the table and showed Truman her lock screen. It was a candid picture from the night of Seattle’s post-covid celebration. Carina was sitting next to Maya, her arms wrapped around Maya’s body, and they both appeared totally lost in each other, smiling some secret smile that no one else but them could understand.

Truman pulled the phone closer to his side of the table and did a double take.

“Are you serious?” He asked.

Maya shifted uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”

“Guys, Bishop’s wife is a movie star!” Truman held up the phone for all to see and soon there was a semi-circle around him, all swooning over Carina.

It made Maya want to preen. It also made her miss her wife terribly.

“Tell us everything,” Hawk begged, sitting down next to Truman.

“Uh…her name is Carina. She’s a doctor at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital in Seattle,” Maya said, unsure what everything entailed.

“Carina,” Jacobi breathed the name as if trying it out for himself.

Packard set a plate of bannock on the table and then yanked the phone from Truman’s hand to get a better look.

“Where’d you meet, what’s she like, does she have a twin sister?” He joked, making Maya smile.

She wasn’t overly comfortable with the attention, nor did she love the focus on her personal life, but everyone was just so friendly. She was so used to being guarded, she was so used to trying to keep every single step inline that even the concept of friendliness was foreign.

“We met at a bar,” Maya said, grabbing her phone from Packard’s grip, “or…technically she saw me at the hospital earlier that day. But she’s…brilliant, one of the preeminent OB/Gyn’s in the world. And she’s from Italy…”

“Italy?” Truman sighed. Maya realized Captain Dale was in the corner, laughing at the scene.

“Yes, Italy. So, she’s the best cook and super funny, at least she thinks she’s super funny, and…yeah. That’s Carina. She’s just…she’s the best.” Maya blushed profusely, realizing she was gushing over her wife, but she couldn’t help it.

No one knew her here. No one would bring up her once held beliefs about monogamy and use them to mock her. They were genuinely curious – no strings attached.

Packard stared Maya down for a moment, a sly smile spreading across his face.

“Damn, Bishop, you married up,” he said, winking at her before breaking out into a boisterous laugh.

Maya found herself joining in because he wasn’t wrong.

Soon there were pictures of other partners and families littering the table. Hawk’s boyfriend and Truman’s wife. Packard’s two kids and Jacobi’s grandmother. Captain Dale approached and placed her phone down, pointing it towards Maya.

“That’s my Maggie,” she said, showing Maya a picture of a grey-haired woman sitting next to a bouquet of sunflowers. She was laughing, the laugh lines around her eyes were deep, as if she’d spent a lifetime smiling.

The captain took a seat next to Maya and leaned in, lowering her voice.

“When I first started with SFD, every door seemed closed. There were no women in the force, let alone female lieutenants or captains. Without Maggie? I would have lost myself completely,” Captain Dale explained.

“I think I can understand the feeling.” Maya tried not to let her sadness show, but Nadine Dale saw right through her façade.

“No matter what they throw at you, no matter what they take from you, hold onto her,” Dale said, pointing at the picture of Carina, “hold on as tight as you can, Bishop. And you’ll get through. It won’t be easy, it’s going to hurt more often than it won’t, but you’ll get through. Hold onto her and you’ll get through.”

The klaxon interrupted before Maya could say thank you, but Captain Dale seemed to understand. She pat Maya’s shoulder once and then they all took off running, their bannock and coffee long forgotten.

~*~

“You sure you’re okay, Bishop?”

Truman’s voice pulled Maya from her thoughts as they stood at the lockers, readying to leave. She switched her rings and gingerly pulled on her bomber jacket.

“Nothing an ice pack can’t fix,” she said, grimacing as she moved.

Truman nodded in understanding and the two walked out together, making small talk about the day’s calls and tomorrow’s schedule. Station 19 had so many lieutenants that they seemed always at odds with each other. Maya liked Bobby Truman, she liked that he listened to her, that he was an ally instead of a competitor. He was like Jack that way, without the complex entanglements that Jack brought to all of his relationships.

After a quick goodbye, Maya hesitated in the parking lot, looking up to take in the stars. The night sky was dotted with light, as if a canopy of sparkling glass had penetrated the darkness. She was struck by how clear it looked, by the constellations she could so clearly see.

It was beautiful, but it made her feel so small.

She didn’t want to go back to her empty motel room yet, even though Carina was probably available for a phone call. Sometimes seeing Carina made their separation even more difficult. At least when she was working, she could concentrate on the job. On fire. Seeing Carina but not being able to touch her or smell her was a small torture.

Maya decided to take a detour on her walk back. She stopped into a roadside diner that Captain Dale had suggested days ago and smiled at the kitschy, late 70’s design. Everything was wood panelling and red leather-lined booths. Even the waitresses wore old fashioned uniforms in powder blue. Maya had initially been skeptical, but the coffee was to die for and the pie…

It was late on a Friday night and Maya needed some joy. She stepped up to the counter, eyeing the day’s menu.

“Maya, right?” The woman behind the till pointed at her.

Maya nodded.

“How are you enjoying our little town?”

The woman wore a badge that read Norma and she had the faded look of a former high school prom queen.

“It’s great,” Maya said, forcing a smile. She was tired and a little bit lonely, but Castle Rock was much more tolerable than she’d initially expected.

Norma seemed pleased by the answer. “What can I get you?”

“Do you have any of that cherry pie left?”

“Hold on just a minute and I’ll see what I can do.”

Norma disappeared into the kitchen and returned a minute later holding a box.

“Last one of the day,” she said, setting it on the counter.

“Oh, I just need a slice.”

“On the house, Lieutenant. You’re doing me a favour – I’d have to toss it in the morning anyway,” Norma inched the box forward and Maya realized she had no excuse not to take the free dessert.

She thanked Norma again and then continued her walk, enjoying the sound of leaves blowing in the wind. The air smelled so clear and just down the road, Maya could make out the sign for The Roadhouse North, neon against the night sky.

She hadn’t heard from Carina all afternoon, which usually meant that her wife was busy in surgery. Maya resigned herself to a quiet night of pie and crappy TV. She had one more day to get through before she could drive home for a 48-hour reprieve.

By this time tomorrow night, you’ll be on the road…

The thought warmed her and she picked up her pace, eager to get back to her room. She crossed the highway, releasing a sigh of relief as she felt the small gravel stones beneath her sneakers, indicating that she was one step closer to a comfortable bed. There were a few cars in the motel’s lot and lights beamed from behind curtained windows. Despite feeling lonely, she was not alone out in the dark woods. There were others too, living their lives, going about their business. She was just one of them, no better, no worse. This warmed her too.

As she approached her own room, she realized that the light was on inside though she had certainly turned it off in the morning before she left. She wondered if a maid had left it on for her, marvelling again at how friendly everyone in Castle Rock seemed to be.

Holding the box in one hand, Maya dug into her pocket for the key and slipped it into the doorknob, expecting to find an empty room waiting for her.

She turned the handle and swung the door open, and it was only as she stepped inside that she realized it was definitely not the maid who was responsible for the light.

Sitting on her bed, her legs crossed at the ankles, Carina beamed at her like something out of a dream.

“Wha…how?” Was all Maya could think to stay, standing frozen in the doorway just in case she was hallucinating.

“Bella, it’s cold, shut the door.”

Definitely not hallucinating.

Carina’s voice startled Maya into motion and she nearly tossed the pie on the dresser and slammed the door behind her before taking a running leap onto the bed. She landed heavily on top of Carina, a tangle of limbs and laughter and Carina’s surprised Maya! echoing in the small space.

Maya shifted, planting one knee on either side of Carina’s hips, but made no move to climb off her wife.

“Hi,” she said, her face inches from Carina’s.

“Hi,” Carina answered, setting her hands on Maya’s ribs.

Maya closed the space between them, pressing her lips to Carina’s. She moaned into the kiss, licking Carina’s mouth, needing more. Carina’s tongue was warm against her own, warm and wet as it licked the roof of her mouth.

“How did you get here?” Maya whispered, kissing Carina’s cheeks and her neck, letting her hands tickle Carina’s sides.

“Do you remember Dr. Zhao in radiology?”

Maya lowered herself, straddling Carina’s body.

“No,” she shook her head, much more interested in ridding Carina of her t-shirt than remembering a random doctor.

“He mentioned he was driving to his cabin one town over. I asked for a ride. I missed you too much, Bambina. I couldn’t wait.”

Carina’s confession ignited something in Maya and she pressed down, grinding herself against Carina’s pelvis. Her jeans provided wonderful friction and she felt herself quickly reacting.

“Can I touch you?” Maya asked, continuing to roll her hips.

She liked to hear Carina give her consent. There was something beyond hot about Carina allowing her the honour of her body. And even though consent between them was always assumed, hearing Carina give her permission made Maya wet every time. It also drove Carina wild, something Maya very much enjoyed.

And after a week of longing, Maya wanted her wife wild and wanting and overwhelmed with pleasure.

“Yes,” Carina breathed, licking her lips.

“Can I take you?” Maya dragged her fingers beneath Carina’s t-shirt, distracted by Carina’s nipples poking against the fabric.

Carina arched, allowing Maya to pull the shirt off entirely.

“Yes,” she said.

“Can I fuck you?” Maya sunk her teeth into the tendon between Carina’s neck and shoulder. It earned her a loud moan.

“Bambina…”

“Tell me.”

“Yes.”

Maya rolled off Carina without another word. She stood up, discarding her own clothes as Carina did the same on the bed, and then she briefly searched the room for Carina’s bag. She knew her wife never travelled without toys and sure enough, as she opened Carina’s carry-on, she found herself staring at a large assortment of dildos, vibrators, a harness, and a bottle of lube that could only be described as Costco-sized.

Usually it made Maya laugh. But as she pulled out the harness and one of the larger dildos, she only felt hunger. She took a vibrator and lube too and then returned to the bed where a very eager Carina was watching her.

Maya strapped herself into the harness and adjusted the dildo in front, centering it, but Carina was apparently impatient because before Maya finished, Carina’s hands circled the purple cock now protruding between Maya’s legs.

“Look how big you are, Bambina,” Carina said, stroking the shaft. The visual made Maya’s hands shake. She was about to grab Carina’s shoulders, but again, Carina moved faster, pushing Maya flat onto her back.

She hovered over Maya’s body, the angle of her shoulder blades making her look like a panther stalking its prey.  

“Are you going to use this on me?” Carina leaned forward, licking the tip of the dildo.

“Carina…”

Maya watched Carina bob her head, taking the cock in her mouth. When she pulled away, the dildo was visibly wet and Maya arched just a little at the sight. She wasn’t willing to give up control quite yet though, the power-play between them kept their sex life constantly exhilarating, so with more control than she thought possible, she raised herself on her elbows and stared Carina down.

“Get it ready for me,” she said, leaving no room for argument.

Carina bit her lip, but could not keep the wide smile from her face. She opened the bottle of lube and applied it liberally, moving her hand up and down the shaft as her eyes never left Maya’s. When she was done, she brushed her hand against Maya’s thigh, leaving a wet streak, and Maya decided that she’d had quite enough bratty behaviour from her wife.

“Go stand by the table,” Maya gestured towards the window, but stayed still herself, waiting for Carina to obey.

The smile remained on Carina’s face, but she raised one eyebrow, clearly curious about Maya’s plan. She gracefully stood, letting Maya watch her walk away, those swaying hips proving a distraction. Once she reached the table, Carina was about to turn, but Maya was behind her in an instant, pressed against her body.

She took Carina’s wrists in her hands and forced her to bend over at nearly ninety degrees, her arms sprawled in front of her, held down by Maya’s strength.  

Maya leaned over, lightly kissing Carina’s shoulder before finding her ear.

“Is this okay?” She whispered.

Carina nodded eagerly.

“Can I hear it please?”

“Yes, Maya.”

Maya straightened and slapped Carina’s ass hard, delighted by the shocked giggle it evoked from her wife.

“Don’t move,” Maya instructed taking one step back. She returned to the bed, gathering her discarded vibrator and then remembered one more thing she’d seen in Carina’s bag.

She tried not to laugh when she realized that her hands were full – it wasn’t exactly sexy walking with her arms loaded full of toys and lube – but she was confident she could regain the mood.

She set the vibrator next to Carina on the table and then took her position again, the dildo bumping against Carina’s ass.

“Maya,” Carina’s voice was already rough, she looked over her shoulder, just a little bit needy, and it inspired Maya to quicken her work.

When Carina realized that Maya was holding a butt plug, she groaned, wiggling in anticipation. Maya smacked her again, earning yet another giggle, and Maya was once more delighted that spanking inspired glee in her wife. She understood. It inspired glee in her too.

“Only you would pack two types of lube,” Maya mumbled, spreading lube on the plug and between two now very red butt-cheeks that somehow managed to be both super cute and super hot all at the same time.

“If you don’t put something in me right now, I’m going to be very, very angry, Bambina.”

“Such a dirty mouth, Dr. DeLuca,” Maya said, stifling a moan because Carina had a way with words that often left Maya feeling like her brain had turned into cotton candy.

Maya lined up the butt plug and started slowly pushing it in, only stopping when she felt Carina eagerly push back against her.

“Slow,” Maya whispered, using her free hand to rub circles over Carina’s back. She watched the plug disappear until all that remained outside was a circular blue knob, she watched as Carina’s body sagged over the table, as she hummed in pleasure.

“Maya, per favore,” Carina’s voice was strangled, she was already panting in anticipation.

Taking her place behind Carina again, Maya guided the dildo lightly over Carina’s centre. She rubbed it there and then up, hitting Carina’s clit, taking her time to tease until Carina’s hands clawed at the tabletop, trying to find some release.

She slipped the tip inside Carina, pausing at the sound of Carina’s sharp inhale.

“More, Maya…” Carina reached back with one hand, trying to grasp Maya’s hip or thigh, urging her forward.

Maya thrust all the way in, gasping as Carina cried out. She thrust again, and then rocked her hips, fucking Carina in hard, slow jerks that left Carina squirming against her. With both hands on Carina’s hips, Maya found herself enthralled by the sight before her, by the sight of Carina’s arms sprawled forward, by her hands trying to find something to hold onto.

She wanted more, Maya always wanted more, and she quickly pulled out, turning Carina so that she was sitting on the table, facing Maya, her legs spread wide apart as she tried to adjust, as she tried to find comfort, the butt plug making it difficult.

Maya didn’t give her time to settle. She pushed herself inside again, this time watching as her cock disappeared between Carina’s legs, watching as Carina’s abs twitched, as she fell back on her elbows, eyes closed in extasy.

Maya thrust in and out, in and out, changing her angle when Carina released a strangled sob. Maya’s knees ached and her back hurt, but she refused to slow her movements. She reached for the vibrator next to Carina’s hip and turned it on, choosing a low level before touching it to Carina’s clit.

The effect was immediate. Carina gasped and fell back against the table, her back hitting the wood hard. Maya turned up the intensity of the vibrations, continuing her relentless movement, sliding inside, pushing against Carina’s tightening pelvic muscles. She clicked the vibrator again, increasing its speed, her mouth dropping open as she watched Carina arch off the table. She looked like a woman possessed, her back curved, her head pressed against the wood. Carina brought both of her legs up, locking them behind Maya’s back and her thigh muscles turned rigid as her voice grew louder and louder.

Maya could barely thrust anymore, Carina was holding her so tightly, but she tried, grinding again and again, until Carina unravelled before her. She cried out Maya’s name, she cried out, her body twitching as she thrashed. It looked like she was trying to crawl out of herself, as if her orgasm had overtaken every nerve and every molecule and every modicum of awareness left in her brain.

She was still gasping for air when Maya pushed down harder with the vibrator, forcing Carina’s eyes wide open.

“I…Maya I…I can’t…I…” Carina tried to speak, but was quickly cut off as her legs tensed again. She slapped her hands down hard on the table, her body nearly pushing Maya out with the intensity of its spasms.

She whined, turning her head to the side, the veins in her neck prominent, and she arched one more time before collapsing onto her back again, arms sprawled out at her sides.

“Stop,” she whispered in a voice made hoarse from yelling and Maya immediately moved the vibrator away from Carina’s body.

She turned it off and then pulled out slowly, swallowing her own moan as the dildo emerged soaked and dripping. Carina was sprawled on the table, her legs over the sides, and all Maya wanted to do was take care of her, to make sure she was okay, though she could tell from Carina’s blissed out expression that she was likely still flooded with oxytocin.

Maya stepped out of the harness and left it on the floor before carefully removing the butt plug, cooing as Carina flinched just a little.

“Come here,” Maya said, stepping between Carina’s legs. She leaned forward just enough to slip her hands under Carina’s arms and then gently helped her sit up. Carina draped herself over Maya’s body, a rag doll incapable of much more than sagging against Maya’s chest.

“Wrap your legs around me,” Maya instructed, and once Carina did, she carefully lifted her from the table, one arm around Carina’s back, the other beneath her ass. If Carina was aware of Maya carrying her, she didn’t show it.

Maya lowered her to the bed as carefully as she could and then crawled in beside her. She kissed her cheeks and her chest, she stroked her hand up and down Carina’s arms and her tummy. Carina turned onto her side, and Maya tucked her into a loose hug, kissing her hair, her chin, anywhere she could reach.

“Per favore, potresti…”

Maya cupped Carina between her legs, smiling softly when Carina squeezed her thighs together, trapping Maya’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Maya asked, lightly kissing Carina’s lips. Carina’s eyes fluttered open, still hazy, still beautiful.

“Sì. Sono buono. Sei tutto per me. Ti amo tanto. Tanto, Maya. Non andare. Non partire.”

Sometimes after intense orgasms, Carina temporarily forgot how to speak English and it always made Maya feel intensely smug. And while she was far from fluent, Carina’s words brought a soft smile to her lips.

A soft smile and a pang of concern.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Maya vowed, “I’m not leaving. I love you too, Carina, tanto.”

“Promettere.”

Maya kissed Carina’s forehead and sighed. “I promise.”

She waited for Carina to come back to herself. Waited as Carina snuggled against her, nuzzling her throat with a cold nose. Carina squeezed her thighs again, keeping Maya’s hand in place. Eventually she stretched and rolled onto her back, her eyes losing their punch-drunk gaze.

“Hi,” Maya laughed when Carina turned her face and looked at her.

“Ciao, Bambina.”

Carina reached out, blindly patting Maya’s side when her palm hit a bruise, making Maya wince.

“Maya?” Carina pushed herself up, eyebrows knit together in concern. She forced Maya onto her stomach, which provided Carina a clear view of the angry, purple blotch just below Maya’s shoulder.

“I’m fine! I swear I’m fine,” Maya insisted.

“What happened?”

“You won’t believe me when I tell you.”

Carina raised one eyebrow, clearly unwilling to let it go so Maya sat up and tried to stifle her own laughter.

“I fell out of a tree,” she said. Carina looked even more confused.

“Why were you in a tree?”

“Because I was rescuing a cat.”

Confusion turned into a look of genuine worry and with wide eyes Carina reached out, settling her hand on Maya’s bicep.

“But is the cat okay?” She asked, trying her best to keep a serious expression on her face though Maya could see a smile trying to break through.

Maya gasped and pulled away.

“Seriously?” Maya couldn’t hold back her amusement anymore, especially when Carina broke too, and they both lay back, giggling, Maya’s bruise long forgotten.

Carina moved first, pushing herself off the bed and standing. She stretched again, her arms raised over her head and then looked over her shoulder, considering Maya intensely.

“Lie down,” she said and while her voice was casual, Maya knew better than to disobey.

Maya settled against the mattress, smirking when Carina walked to her bag and started digging through it.

“Did you pack any clothes or just sex stuff?” She asked.

Carina paused. “Would you like me to get dressed?”

“No. Definitely not.”

The view was exquisite. Maya would never tire of Carina’s body, of her long legs and graceful hands. She was perfect, beyond perfect, and Maya indulged in openly staring. She loved Carina’s prominent shoulder blades. She loved the swell of her breasts, the taste of her skin. She loved the shape of her hips and that ass…

Carina walked back to the bed, carrying four black scarves and a blindfold and Maya felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. She was already wet from grinding against Carina and the strap on had rubbed her in all the right ways.

They were both silent as Carina tied Maya’s wrist to the bedpost. She circled the bed and repeated the action, testing the knot, making sure Maya wouldn’t be able to free herself. Carina leaned over the bed and softly kissed Maya. It was sweet, a marked contrast to what Maya knew was likely ahead.

“Your ankles too?” Carina asked.

Maya felt herself fall in love with Carina all over again While they both enjoyed some light bondage, Carina knew that Maya sometimes liked to keep a modicum of control. Tying her legs meant that she’d be totally helpless, a feeling that Maya both craved and occasionally feared too. There was so much trust involved, and on days when Maya was feeling vulnerable, helplessness did little to alleviate her stress.

But Maya trusted Carina more than she’d ever trusted anyone in her life. And while having her legs tied down sometimes made her anxious, there were many days when she could think of nothing better than letting Carina have total control. Maya’s job was intense, the need for constant perfection left her mentally exhausted and letting Carina take charge, letting her make all the decisions, could be addictive.

And after the month they’d had…

Maya nodded, kissing Carina again, unable to keep a shy smile from her face.

Carina moved to the foot of the bed, tying one of Maya’s ankles to the bedpost and then the other, leaving Maya spread eagle and at her mercy. When she was done, she returned to the bedside table and picked up the final piece she needed. Without warning, she set a blindfold over Maya’s head, turning her world dark.

“Stay still, Maya,” Carina instructed, leaving Maya blind and bound.

Maya could hear Carina walking towards the washroom, she heard the door close and the sink come on. Part of her wished she could press her thighs together for some relief, but she was also anticipating Carina’s return, knowing her wife would take care of her.

The room was cold and Maya shivered, though whether from chill or from excitement, she couldn’t say.

She listened carefully, licking her lips when she realized the sink was no longer running. The door to the washroom opened again and once more, she could make out the sound of Carina’s feet on the carpet.

The sensation left her disorientated. She knew Carina was close, but she couldn’t pinpoint where. It wasn’t until she felt a fingertip against her stomach that she realized Carina was likely leaning over her.

The fingertip dragged along her skin, down to her hip bone and then across to the other. It was a light touch, barely a tickle, but Maya strained against her bindings, unable to kick her legs, but wanting to.

“Do you know what seeing you like this does to me?” Carina’s voice was somewhere above and Maya turned her face towards it.

“Tell me,” she whispered. Her request was met with a sharp pinch to her thigh. It made her hiss.

“Will you be good for me?”

Maya arched, marvelling at Carina’s power.

“Yes,” she managed, gasping when she felt teeth against her earlobe.

“You filled me up, Bambina, you like that, don’t you? You like to fill me up.”

“Uh huh.”

Maya sensed that Carina had moved away again. She squirmed against the mattress, uncomfortably turned on.

The bed dipped near Maya’s hip and she braced herself, the knowledge that Carina was near, that Carina could do anything at anytime already had Maya sweating.

“Suck,” Carina said, pressing two fingers to Maya’s lips. She pushed them into Maya’s mouth and Maya instantly moaned when she realized the wet, sticky fingers tasted like Carina. She sucked greedily, cleaning Carina, trying not to come from the thought of Carina secretly fucking herself somewhere in the room.

When Carina pulled away, Maya cried out, so desperately wanting more.

Again, she sensed that Carina was no longer close. Again, she waited, her heart pounding. She licked her lips, and debated asking Carina to sit on her face, she so wanted another taste…

“You’re so pink, Tesoro, all of you così rosa.”

Something freezing and wet slipped between Maya’s breasts and she yelped, shocked by the temperature change. Carina dragged an ice cube down Maya’s torso, stopping just below her navel before moving it away.

The sensation returned, this time circling her areola, Maya felt the ice cube dripping down her breast and it was so cold, so wonderfully cold. It disappeared and when Carina’s hot mouth sucked her nipple Maya couldn’t keep the strangle-scream from slipping out.

The ice cube appeared again and again, smeared across Maya’s lips, tracing a line from one hip bone to the other, and when it touched the skin just above the trim patch of hair between Maya’s legs, she felt her pelvic muscles squeeze so tightly that it almost tipped her over the edge.

“Carina, please, I…please…” She barely knew what she was asking for, she just knew her entire body felt like it was about to tear apart.

Carina thumbed Maya’s nipple and then closed her hand over Maya’s breast, squeezing, and then the ice cube appeared again, this time on the inside of Maya’s thigh, one then the other, and Maya realized she was practically on the verge of tears in the best way.

“Carina,” she tried again, cut-off by Carina’s mouth, by Carina’s tongue.

“Are you a good girl, Maya?” Carina husked in Maya’s ear, continuing to inch the ice closer to Maya’s centre.

“Uh huh.”

The ice slid closer and closer, Maya bit her lip in anticipation, knowing any second she would…

Carina moved her hand away, and Maya whimpered when the ice slipped over her hip bone. She thrashed her legs as best she could, balling her hands into fists around the ropes, but she couldn’t move, she couldn’t do anything, and her pelvic muscles clenched again leaving her throbbing.

“You are so swollen, Bambina.” Carina’s voice came from the foot of the bed and Maya imagined what she must look like to her wife. Spread and open and a soaked mess.

“Carina…”

Ice reappeared on the inside of her thigh. Maya swallowed hard.

Again, she felt the frozen wet so close to where she needed it, to where she wanted it, she was almost certain Carina was almost touching her, so close…so close…

Without warning, Carina dragged the ice cube between Maya’s legs, a move so fast that Maya gasped and pulled at her restraints. When it happened a second time, Maya tipped her head back, struggling against her bindings, and then Carina’s mouth was on her clit, hot, warm, the pressure too much and…

Maya’s release tore through her body, a surge so hard that she tugged the scarves cutting into her wrists as she tried desperately to ride out her pleasure. She arched and rolled her hips, jerking, her throat raw as she called out for Carina whose tongue thrashed at her. Carina entered her hard with two fingers, moaning against Maya’s cunt, the vibrations only increasing Maya’s sensation and she pulled her arms again and again, her heels dragging on the bed, as her lungs gave out.

She clenched over and over, even as she calmed, even as the pleasure dissipated, her walls held Carina inside, squeezing rhythmically until she finally settled, her tense muscles suddenly jelly.

Maya sagged against the mattress, her ragged breathing the only sound she could hear. Carina pulled out gently and with one last kiss to Maya’s clit, she disappeared. In the aftermath, Maya no longer wanted to be tied, she no longer wanted the blindfold. She wanted to be covered, she wanted to curl her body around Carina’s.

Before she could say a word, Carina’s started undoing the scarves around Maya’s ankles. She freed them both and then walked to the head of the bed. When she removed the eye mask, Maya blinked heavily, adjusting to the lamplight in the room. She found herself staring up at Carina who looked down with so much affection that Maya’s blissed-out brain could only register beautiful and want and mine.

Carina got to work on Maya’s wrists, untying the scarves. Maya’s strength was gone and she let her arms drop, her shoulders sore from all the pulling.

“Stai bene,” Carina cooed, taking one of Maya’s hands and rubbing her thumb against the red skin chaffed from the bindings. She lay down beside Maya, and Maya immediately curled up, bringing her knees to her chest, her back facing Carina’s front. Carina’s lips were soft against Maya’s shoulders and cheek, her hands even softer as they rubbed Maya’s arms and her wrists over and over.

Carina molded herself to Maya’s body, using the discarded blanket to create a little cocoon that made Maya hum in contentment. She let her body calm, she let her muscles release their tension, all the while giving in to Carina’s gentleness, her love.

When Maya finally felt herself able to move, she turned from her side and rested her head on the pillow. Carina lowered herself too and they lay there, staring at each other, Carina’s hands stroking Maya’s hair off her forehead, Maya’s fingers tracing patterns over Carina’s ribs, both a little overwhelmed by how big the feelings were, both understanding without any words needed.

“I missed you a stupid amount,” Maya confessed unsure how to articulate that she sometimes felt like she was drowning without Carina by her side. That she worried she relied too heavily on Carina to stay afloat.

Carina inched closer. “Mi ami?”

Do you love me?

Maya knew Carina was joking, she knew that Carina knew, but she’d never tire of saying it.

“More than anything,” Maya whispered taking Carina’s hand and squeezing it.

“I’m glad that they have been nice to you here,” Carina said. Maya could only nod and agree.

“It feels so weird to just…go to work…no politics.”

“Hmm. I’ve been so worried, Maya.”

Maya’s first instinct was to assure Carina that everything was fine. That she didn’t need to worry. But it wasn’t exactly true and Maya found herself thinking about what Dr. Lewis would say, what Dr. Lewis had said about how she’d feel if the positions were reversed, if it was Carina who was suffering.

With a deep breath, Maya decided that a little motel room in the middle of nowhere was as good a place as any to open up to her wife.

“If I tell you something, can you promise you won’t get scared?” She asked, knowing she was being vague.

Carina furrowed her brow. “I’ll try.”

“I used to think about dying a lot. When I was younger. Before I met you. Sometimes it still happens, but it’s not like I want to hurt myself. It’s not like that.” Maya wanted to assure Carina, especially when she could see her words were upsetting. Carina flinched, but stayed quiet, letting Maya continue.

“When I was a kid I used to fly all over the country for meets and I was so tired and so stressed…I’d look at the clouds and they seemed so peaceful. Like I could lie down in them and close my eyes and be gone. No more running. No more early mornings or diets. Just…nothing. And thinking about nothing helped me feel calm.”

Carina’s fingers traced the line of Maya’s collarbone. Her eyes were wide and a little teary, but Maya could see her trying to be supportive, to listen.

Maya swallowed hard and continued. “After we met, I didn’t think about them as much. I didn’t want nothing, I didn’t want to be gone. I wanted you. And thinking about you was so much better than thinking about clouds. But sometimes when things get really bad at work or if we have a fight…I still think about them. About dying. Dr. Lewis said I should tell you…I…I don’t want to hurt myself. I promise I don’t. But lately…I think about it a lot. Maybe too much, I don’t know. So, I imagine you, and being home. And I think about Jamie….”

Carina nodded, a stray tear cascading down her cheek.

“I don’t know what to do about my job. And I don’t know what to do about Jamie. But I do know that I want to make the right decisions for us. For all of us. I’m trying Carina, I know it may not seem like it, like all I think about is work and my career, but I am trying, I…”

Carina cut her off with a kiss, a desperate, breathless kiss that tasted like tears.

“I know you are, Bambina, I know,” Carina said, nuzzling her nose against Maya’s. She brought her hand up to Maya’s face.

“I don’t want to give you false hope, I don’t want to hurt you,” Maya said.

Carina blinked and more tears fell, but she managed a wobbly smile.

“Thank you for telling me about your clouds,” she said, her thumb tracing Maya’s cheekbone.  

“I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“You will tell me if it goes beyond just thinking, yes?”

Maya nodded. She knew from her brief sessions with Dr. Lewis that the second her thoughts moved from ideation to something more active, she needed to speak up. Carina exhaled and then cast her eyes down, deep in thought.

“Maya…about your job…” she began, but hesitated, clearly unsure if she should continue.

“What?”

“I don’t know how SFD works, but have you thought about speaking to a lawyer?”

The question surprised Maya. “No. I…what would I need a lawyer for?”

“They demoted you and then made you wait a year for a hearing. A hearing that was not official. Chief Ross is granting favours to Sullivan, who she’s also having sex with…I don’t know if there is a case, but it does not seem legal, Bambina.”

Maya pushed herself up, sitting against the headboard.

“I…what would that do to 19?” She asked out loud though the question was rhetorical. Carina sat up too, running her hand through her hair as she stretched out her legs.

“I don’t know. It’s up to you. Whatever you want, I’m here. I just hate what they’re doing to you. Every day they hurt you more…I know I can’t do anything, but it is so hard to watch, Tesoro.”

It still startled Maya that Carina cared as much as she did. That she was selfless, that she worried as if Maya’s pain was her own. And in many ways, it was. Just like Carina’s pain made Maya heartsick. The version of Maya that had spent so much of life alone, so much of life thinking that love was a distraction and a weakness, still existed in some tiny, imperceptible way. Maya was getting better and better at shutting those thoughts away, but the surprise at how wrong she had been still lingered.

“I need to think about it,” Maya said, puffing out her cheeks, her mind already racing ahead.

Carina kissed her shoulder and then her cheek. “Not tonight, Maya. Tonight it is just you and me and those big trees outside that make so much noise I will not sleep.”

Maya laughed, happy for a temporary reprieve from their tense conversation.

“Are you hungry?” She asked, remembering that there was an entire pie sitting on the dresser beside the TV.

Carina nodded and then started laughing herself when Maya sprang off the bed and grabbed the pink box and two forks she’d left beside it.

“What is this?” Carina asked, taking the box from Maya’s hands as Maya sat down again.

“It’s the best pie in the world.”

“The world?”

“Okay, I know it sounds crazy and I don’t know what’s going on out here in Castle Rock, but this pie…I don’t even understand how it exists,” Maya said, handing Carina a fork.

Carina looked doubtful, but obviously wanted to amuse Maya, so she opened the box and took a forkful, rolling her eyes before popping it in her mouth.

Maya watched the play of emotions across Carina’s face. Her doubt turned into shock, which then morphed into something between euphoria and an orgasm. When she swallowed, she looked down at the pie and then back at Maya’s face, the fork still in her hand, hovering in the air.

“How?” She marvelled, as if Maya had just showed her all the secrets of the universe.

“I don’t know. And…you are not going to believe me, but the coffee…”

“No. Non è possibile.”

Maya took a forkful of pie and fell backwards, moaning at the taste.

“This is the second best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life,” Maya said, raising her head to catch Carina’s gaze. She wiggled her eyebrows and licked her lips, which made Carina point at her with one finger as if in warning.

“Bambina. You are very bad. I like it.”

“I know you do.”

Carina finally placed her fork down and joined Maya on the bed, lying next to her.

“I am going to buy ten more of these tomorrow,” she said.

“That’s what you’re going to do while I’m at work tomorrow?” Maya reached for Carina’s hand and amused herself by playing with the numerous rings on her fingers. She liked spinning them, especially her wedding ring.

“Yes. But also, I booked a Big Foot Tour.”

Maya looked to see if Carina was joking, but her wife shrugged as if to say it’s true.

“God, I love you,” Maya laughed, shaking her head. Carina’s smile was so wide, so blinding, that Maya found herself smiling too.

They laughed and kissed and laughed some more, both relieved to be in each other’s company, both content to feel each other close by. Eventually, Maya started yawning and Carina followed, and they decided it was time to go to bed. Maya set the leftover pie on the table and Carina disappeared into the washroom with her toothbrush and soon enough, they were both back under the covers, Carina snuggled into Maya’s side.

“Hey,” Maya said softly, dragging her fingertips over Carina’s arm, “if we talk about some hypotheticals…I mean about Jamie…is that going to upset you?”

She was so anxious about giving Carina false hope. About hurting her. But Carina shook her head and pulled Maya closer.

“Public school or private school?” Maya asked, the room so dark that she could not make out the ceiling.

“Public. I went to Catholic school…I don’t want that for our bambina.”

“Agreed. No religion-based schools. How do you feel about organic baby food?”

Carina laughed against Maya’s shoulder. “We are too busy to make our own baby food. But healthy food? Yes. And cookies.”

“And cookies,” Maya nodded.

“Swimming lessons?” Carina mused, her nose brushing against Maya’s neck and Maya felt herself growing heavier and heavier.

“Mmm. Yeah,” she yawned, her eyes closing.

It was the exhaustion, the relief of seeing Carina again, the stress of the job, but what she said next she said without realizing it, without thinking it through.

“I want to bring her to the station and show her the truck. And the lights. Do you think they’ll hurt her eyes?” Maya asked, half-asleep, barely conscious of the fact that her question was not hypothetical, that it was not about a hypothetical child that they might hypothetically have.

It was about Jamie. It was specifically about Jamie.

She passed out before Carina could answer, guided towards rest by the image of Jamie in her arms, unaware that Carina lay awake beside her, hope and despair keeping her from sleep.

~*~

They held hands on the short walk to the station. Maya was struck by how relaxing it was, how different it was from their usual hectic mornings. She was distracted by Carina’s skinny jeans and white t-shirt. By the leather jacket undoubtably purchased in Milan and the aviators hiding her eyes. Even her Converse sneakers looked sexy.

Carina DeLuca was a miracle and Maya hated that she sometimes let herself forget it.

The conversation weaved in and around Jamie the entire time. Maya would ask a question and Carina would answer and neither pushed it further than that. They were respecting each other’s needs: Maya’s need for time, Carina’s need for Jamie.

“Church?” Maya asked, rounding the corner towards the station.

Carina swung their joined hands. “Mmmm. I don’t know. Maybe we can introduce them to lots of religions? Let them choose?”

Maya mulled that over and decided she liked the idea.

“What if they misbehave? Time out?” Maya didn’t know a lot about childcare, but the ghosts of her own childhood forced the question and she nervously awaited Carina’s answer.

“Sì. Though it depends on the sin, no?”

“My dad was big on manual labour. Especially for Mason.”

“Like cleaning or…”

“Yeah. Cleaning. I just got extra laps or a bucket of water to the head or no dinner,” Maya shrugged as she spoke, only realizing how awful it sounded when Carina stopped walking.

“We won’t be like that,” she said, “or like my dad. So much yelling. Always yelling. Andrea used to hide in my closet he was so scared.”

“Did he ever hit you?” Maya remembered a few times when she was especially young that Lane resorted to spanking. He’d stopped as soon as Maya showed a talent towards athletics. Her body became Lane’s greatest achievement – he wouldn’t lay a finger on her lest he damage the sacred vessel that would gain him glory.

Carina sighed heavily beside her. “Yes, it is maybe more common in Italy? But I could never. All it does is scare the child. It does not teach them anything, it is just about dominance and power.”

“And not in a fun way,” Maya said, stepping into Carina’s space and hugging her, trying to lighten the mood.

Carina lay her forearms over Maya’s shoulders and kissed the tip of her nose.

“Definitely not in the fun way,” she whispered, a knowing smirk on her lips.

“So, we reserve spanking for ourselves. Got it.”

“Bambina…”

Maya winked and then pulled away, leading Carina towards the door of District Six. She barely walked inside before Carina was whisked away. First by Jennings and then by Jacobi who spotted the DeLuca-Bishops through the barn window and came racing towards the front desk.

By the time Maya changed into her uniform, she found her wife in the Beanery, sitting next to Jacobi’s grandmother, animatedly discussing basket weaving. Hawk and Truman seemed to be arguing about who got to prepare Carina’s coffee, and the whole scene made Maya feel warm inside.

She noticed that in addition to Jacobi’s grandmother, Truman’s wife was present. It almost appeared to be a family day at the station and when Captain Dale strolled in with her Maggie, Maya realized that apparently Saturdays were set-aside for spouses and partners to visit. Unlike Station 19, where half the people were dating each other and the other half were exes, District Six was positively cozy.

Carina laughed so easily, her charm radiating outwards so that everyone seemed caught in her smile. She was kind and dotting towards Jacobi’s grandmother, she enthusiastically joined Truman’s wife in the kitchen to help flip pancakes…

She just fit in. It didn’t matter that they were in a small town in the middle of a forest. It didn’t matter that Maya was coming off of a suspension and was basically exiled. Carina took it all in stride and Maya loved her desperately for it.

She was so caught up in watching her wife that she didn’t realize Captain Dale had approached until the older woman’s hand found her shoulder.

“Hold onto her, Bishop,” Dale said, “Don’t you dare let go.”

Maya felt her heart flutter, she felt some of her lost resolve return. Because even though she didn’t know what to do about Station 19, even though she felt lost when it came to Jamie, she was beginning to realize that she’d gone about everything all wrong.

Her ambition was commendable. Her desire to succeed was not a negative character trait. But her need to push everything else aside was not the way forward. Carina was. Their marriage. Their lives together. As long as Maya had Carina, as long as she had them, everything would be okay.

She wasn’t alone. And Carina wasn’t alone.

She no longer had to rely only on herself, on her own strength. Combined with Carina’s, she was stronger than she’d ever been. Through the fear and the unknowing, she held onto that knowledge.

She had Carina. And Carina had her. And if she could just keep focused on that fact, if she could just remember not to forget…

“Maya!” Carina’s shocked voice pulled Maya from her thoughts, and she looked up, finding her wife standing in the kitchen, holding a mug of coffee.

“Uh…yeah?”

Truman was laughing and so was Hawk as they watched Carina take another sip, her eyes wide in confusion.

“What is in this?” She asked the room, looking from one face to another.

“It’s the water,” Dale answered, gesturing towards the window, “something in the rain out here.”

“I heard it’s the trees,” Jennings said, “an old magic from the woods.”

“Com’è possibile?” Carina wondered out loud, staring down the cup in her hand.

Maya took a seat at the table and poured herself a mug.

“Is it better than Italy?” She asked, biting her lip when Carina flashed an angry glance and held up her hand, stopping Maya from saying more.

“Basta. Smettila di parlare ora prima che ti debba punire.”

Stop talking now before I have to punish you…

Maya blushed furiously, relieved the team didn’t speak Italian.

“What does that mean?” Packard ask from the end of the table, laughter in his voice.

Maya cleared her throat. “Uh…just that’s it’s probably in my best interest to never ask that question again.”

Amongst the loud chuckles, Maya caught Carina’s gaze one more time and she found her wife looking positively devious over the rim of her coffee cup. Despite Carina’s warning, Maya thought a little punishment may not be so terrible. She stood, casually sidling up to Carina behind the counter and when no one was looking, she leaned in to whisper in Carina’s ear.  

“Tonight?” she breathed, watching Carina swallow hard.

“Questa sera. Domani. Per sempre.”

The words, the promise, filled Maya with longing and strength and happiness. Long after Carina left to go hunt Big Foot, longer after the klaxon pulled them away from breakfast, Maya silently repeated Carina’s answer, holding it to her chest like a security blanket.

Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever.