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Fragment: Bullet in the Heart

“If you keep being like that, no one will love you, Kath.” It was her past boyfriend’s words to Kathrina before he left her for good. He was cheating on her, but she got the blame for everything just because she could not give him the thing he yearned for the most. Yeah, right, sex. Kathrina Reed had not been able to let someone touch her most private part of herself. She was terrified that someone had tried it. It brought terror into her body and forced her to freeze like a survival instinct. With her failed past relationship, Kathrina stopped dreaming of falling in love. She was tired of getting disappointed with her partner and herself, and she was tired of visiting a psychiatrist’s office just to get better. It was better to be alone. Fewer expectations result in less hurt. Kathrina was fine being alone for a long time until she met Arthur Ford. The man set her heart and body ablaze. Then before she knew it, she started thinking about him, longed for him, and fell too deep into him. - Synopsis change, but no change made in the story.

Moonamore · Urban
Not enough ratings
69 Chs

Step

Kathrina was fuming as she typed a long text to send to her mother. It was like a rant; her words were not gentle. It was full of poison that Kathrina believed her mother would faint if she read it. However, she deleted everything and wrote a short new text.

'I won't be visiting this week.'

Those words were enough to tell her mother that she was not impressed with what her mother did behind her back. She knew her mother did it out of concern, but she'd appreciate it even more had her mother told her first. Then, at least, she could prepare herself for the worst outcome.

What had happened tonight was beyond her control. Meeting Arthur in that kind of condition was not the one she wanted. It only added to the list of embarrassing things Arthur had witnessed in such a short time.

Kathrina pushed her apartment door and went inside. She saw Jenna sitting while staring intently at the canvas in front of her face. Kathrina passed Jenna without bothering to greet her. She was not in the mood to communicate with another living being.

Jenna's voice halted her step when she wanted to slip into her room.

"Please be my model."

Kathrina's gaze landed on Jenna. Her stare initiated that Kathrina thought that Jenna was crazy. Why would Jenna want her to be a model for her painting? It was ridiculous, nearly insane.

"Are you drunk?" Kathrina's hand touched the knob, ready to turn it if Jenna was not sober.

Suddenly, Jenna stood up and went in Kathrina's direction. Jenna grabbed Kathrina's hand and battled her eyelash innocently. "Please, you are the only one who fits the theme in my mind."

"What is the theme?"

"Lonely," Jenna answered quickly, which made Kathrina brush her hands without compassion.

"Ask other people."

Jenna scrunched down and held Kathrina's leg. She put her weight on Kathrina so she could not escape from her. "No, I only want you."

Kathrina dragged Jenna into her room, yet Jenna did not show any sign of giving up.

"I am going to haunt you until you agree."

Kathrina rolled her eyes. She looked down and noticed Jenna's puppy eyes. She sighed and said, "What should I do?"

Immediately Jenna stood up and gave Kathrina a bear hug and several kisses on her face. "Just wear something you are comfortable with." Jenna's eyes sparkled as she said that. "Go take a bath first. I will wait for you outside."

"Hmm."

"I love you, Kath."

"Thanks." Kathrina pushed Jenna out of her room, then went to her bathroom.

While Jenna waited for Kathrina, she set a place for Kathrina to sit and prepared a glass of wine for both of them. She thought it would make the mood better.

"What should I do?" Kathrina suddenly appeared. She only wore an oversized white T-shirt that almost reached her knees and short pants underneath it. Her hair was still wet, and she did not bother to dry it.

Jenna grabbed her shoulder and made Kathrina sit in front of the window that showed the blazing light from the city. "Hug your knees, rest your head on top of it, and look at me," she instructed.

Kathrina complied. Several strands of hair fell into her face as she placed her head on her knees. "What else?"

"Nothing, just stay like that. Don't move." Jenna took her place in front of the canvas. "And please try not to frown." She peeked to look at Kathrina. Then her brush started dancing on the canvas freely.

For the first thirty minutes, Kathrina managed not to move and remained silent, but after that, her body stiffened, and she felt bored.

Sensing Kathrina's discomfort Jenna finally opened her mouth, "It's okay if you want to talk."

"I want to straighten my back. Is that okay too?"

"Just wait a little bit more," Jenna answered.

Kathrina sighed. The effect of aging was starting to show on her body as it was easy to get stiff and hurt.

"I forgot to ask you. Who took you home yesterday?" Kathrina blurted out.

"I don't remember," Jenna lied even though she recalled everything. From the kiss until her outburst in Dion's car. It was an unusual occasion where her memory did not give away to alcohol.

"Why do I think you are lying?"

"I don't." Jenna denied. "What about your relationship progress with Arthur?"

"Now that we are talking about it. I actually meet him in Blossom."

"Why are you there? Meeting with aunty?" Jenna asked.

"Blind date." Kathrina suddenly felt like she was back at the restaurant, and all the overwhelming embarrassment and sadness came to her. Her countenance turned sorrowful.

Hearing the tone of Kathrina's voice lowered, Jenna's gaze moved her. "Did something happen?" She inquired carefully.

"Nothing much. My blind date partner was questioning my mental state, and Arthur happened to hear everything."

"Who's crazy enough to ask about my mental condition during a blind date." Jenna raised her voice. She suddenly got angry that someone had the chance to ever talk like that with Kathrina.

"Well, he is crazy enough," Kathrina replied nonchalantly.

"What is his name? I will kill him for you."

"No thanks. I don't want to put you behind bars." Kathrina rejected the offer immediately. Even though it was only a simple sentence, Kathrina knew that Jenna could do something that bastard.

"If you say so. Then what did Arthur do?"

"Nothing. He walked past me. He probably thought avoiding an unstable person like me was better."

"What the hell?! I thought he liked you?" Jenna exclaimed for the second time.

"He stopped," Kathrina said lowly. "Just when I realized I like him, he stopped." She bitterly laughed. Her brown eyes showed pain.

When Kathrina saw Jenna wanted to stand up, she immediately added her sentence. "It's okay. Focus on your painting. Don't think about my feeling right now. I can take care of it myself."

"Okay." Jenna had no choice but to obey.

After that, they went silent. Jenna concentrated on her painting, and Kathrina only looked straight aimlessly.

***

It had been a week since the last time Kathrina and Arthur met each other. Both displayed withdrawal symptoms like an addict. Both yearned to see each other and feel closer. Yet, they could not do anything.

Their coping mechanism was different. Arthur would spend his time in front of the Centre Palace Apartment for hours every day after work like a creep. While Kathrina occasionally searched his name on google, and sometimes she would stare at the low-quality picture of his back.

As the week passed, Marcella's case finally came to an end. During the press conference, Xavier did not mention FSS at all. They only informed me that Marcella's emergency alarm failed, which was why she was found late.

The revelation about Dream Star CEO and all the shady business made public went into a rage. They even petitioned to investigate all the entertainment companies so that no one would fall into the same hell hole.

"Stop wallowing in self-pity and talk to him," Jenna said as she walked toward the couch and threw her butt on it. She scooped an ice cream and brought it to Kathrina's mouth. "To lift your mood."

"I am not down." Kathrina denied it and jerked her head to avoid Jenna's ice cream temptation.

"Yeah, and the earth is flat," Jenna said. She glanced at Kathrina. "My exhibition is on Wednesday, and Auburn's banquet will be on Friday. You can meet Arthur there."

Seeing the interest gleaming in Kathrina's orbs, Jenna added the information. "FSS has always been on the invitation list, so the possibility is high."

"Really?"

"Damn, you are down bad for him. Your expression is like mine when I fell in love with that cheater."

Kathrina ignored Jenna's comment as she had something else to think about. Like what she should wear to avoid getting embarrassed in front of him. She intended to take a step towards him, to let him know that she had a little feeling for him. If he still rejected her after learning it, then it only meant she had to give up.

***

These days, I am seriously considering dropping this book since I am not sure whether this is good enough or just plain bad. Maybe if I finally saw no one actually read this, I would stop posting.

Thank You,

Moonamore