The Great Dango Battle of 78

Ryu returned to Konoha and went home.

He stretched his arms as he walked into the house.

Anko was sitting at the table, leaning back with her cute little feet on the table as she ate Dango all alone.

She froze and looked up at Ryu, who also froze.

He slowly pointed a trembling finger at her, stammering "Y-Y-You're eating Dango… WITHOUT ME?!" Anko hid the bag, looking guilty as she said "No! You saw wrong just now! It was potato chips!"

Ryu shouted angrily, dropping Kubikiribocho and the bundle of scrolls, "Do you think I'm an idiot?! That was clearly Extra Sweet Special Red Bean Paste Super Dango with sweet strawberry glaze!"

Anko was shocked and shouted anxiously "How did you know!?" Ryu flared up, "Ahh! You bastard!" as he lunged at her. She shouted "Watch the Dango, you asshole! AHH!"

The neighbors were startled as they heard crashing and banging from upstairs, along with strange shouts.

They shook their hands and complained, "These freaks, a few days of peace and now they're back… Damn devils, why don't they just die already along with that fox freak and that bastard orphan Uchiha…"

Ryu and Anko didn't hear it as they were fighting over a bag of Dango.

Anko pressed her foot on his face and grabbed his hand with hers, holding the dango bag away from her head, shouting "I paid for these myself!" Ryu's eyes spewed flames, "What's yours is mine!" Anko roared angrily, "NOT FOR DANGO!"

As she twisted and kicked him into the wall!

Ryu spun around and pinned her down to the ground, bursting into laughter as he reached for the bag, licking his lips "Mmm~ My sweet Dango~" Anko twisted and said "Sweet Love Jutsu!"

Ryu turned to stone and she escaped, grinning "Heh… My dango after all~" before sitting on his back happily and stuffing her face with the dango.

Ryu shook and the stone collapsed, returning him to normal as he flickered and grabbed her from behind, gripping her peaks firmly, whispering in her ear "How could it be so easy?"

Anko yelped and said "Ah! My weakness!" Ryu chuckled evilly and pinched, making her moan and drop the dango bag!

Ryu lunged and rolled on the ground, holding the dango in his arms.

She turned to him with a flushed face, her eyes spewing flames. Ryu stuck out his tongue at her and stuffed his face with dango quickly.

Anko screamed in rage and lunged at him, getting tied up on the ground.

Ryu stretched out his neck and poured dango out of the bag and into his mouth.

Anko's eyes widened and she stretched out her neck, taking a bite of air!

She stole a dango!

Ryu's eyes widened and he shouted "Bitch! I'll kill you!"

Suddenly!

The bag was upside down and the last dango rolled out!

Ryu and Anko narrowed their eyes and lunged at the dango with their faces, biting down quickly.

They both bit down on the last dango and their lips touched!

They looked at each other and smiles appeared in their eyes, before starting to melt into softness.

Anko wrapped her arms around his neck and fell on top of him, kissing him passionately.

Ryu closed his eyes and grabbed the corners of her shirt, pulling it up over her head as they slowly made their way to the bed, leaving a trail of clothes…

A few weeks later

Ryu was walking along the streets, holding a booklet in his hand. He hummed to himself and walked on the streets as the villagers pointed at him and whispered.

Ryu scratched his head and muttered "Where is that lazy bastard?" before someone bumped into his leg.

Ryu looked down as a kid with panda eyes looked up at him saying "Move, or I'll kill you."

Ryu looked at the huge gourd on his back, his red hair, and panda eyes before bursting out laughing. The kid frowned angrily and glared at Ryu, saying "I will kill you, understand!"

Ryu nodded and patted his head, saying "Yeah, yeah… Right for sure…" the kid grit his teeth and a sand blade shot towards Ryu's neck.

Ryu slapped the sand to ashes and looked at the kid, curling his lips, "You want to kill me like this? Are you sure you're not joking, kid?" there was teasing in his eyes.

Who else but Gaara?

Gaara grit his teeth and shouted "Die!" Ryu yawned and slapped the sand again, dissolving Gaara's attack, not forgetting to say "Boooring~" He leaned over and looked Gaara in the eyes, smiling "Why did a cute kid like you come here?"

Gaara grinded his teeth in hatred, "Bastard!" Ryu rolled his eyes and grabbed Gaara by the back of his shirt, dragging him along the road like a sack as he hummed to himself. Gaara struggled to get free but how could he escape?

It was simply impossible.

Even attacking Ryu had no effect, one slap solved all his moves!

Gaara was shocked, what kind of monster did he run into today!?

Unlucky!

Really was too! Ryu just finished writing the preliminary method for Lightning Sage mode after 5 weeks of testing!

He needed Kakashi to test it.

Ryu was 100% sure he could stop it if the Nature Chakra got out of hand since he implemented a safety escape to the method.

You simply had to cut a specific chakra cord and it would stop the stone transformation. Then simply reattach it with Medical Ninjutsu and it was healed.

It wouldn't even hurt and take 5 seconds to heal.

Of course, Ryu wouldn't test something dangerous on one of his only friends.

Which was the reason he had been out of the village a lot recently.

Several new stone statues had already been added to the forests in the Land of Fire.

As for the kidnapped test subjects, they were various missing-nin and cloud village scouts.

It took a long time to come up with the safety method. But he had a reliable way to achieve Sage Mode without turning to stone so it was more of a precaution than a necessity.

Ryu turned a corner to see Sasuke and Naruto facing off with Temari and Kankuro!

Everyone stopped and looked over.

Kankuro and Temari shouted "Gaara!?" Sasuke cursed "Not this guy!" Naruto grit his teeth, saying "Oh crap!" as he started to sweat.

Ryu looked at them and grinned in anger, "Finally found you little bastards!"

Kankuro and Temari were on guard when Ryu suddenly kicked Naruto in the ass, sending him flying into the sky as he shouted "YOU ATE MY DANGO LAST NIGHT!?" Sasuke turned to run when Ryu grabbed his head.

Sasuke started to sweat profusely, saying seriously "No, it was all Naruto." Ryu had veins throbbing on his forehead and neck as he laughed lowly, "And you didn't… stop him?"

A drop of cold sweat appeared on Sasuke's face, trickling past his temple as he kept silent.

Ryu kicked him into the air, roaring "THEN YOU'RE GUILTY, BASTARD!" as Sasuke shot into the sky, colliding with Naruto in mid air!

'BONK!'

They knocked skulls before falling from the sky unconscious.