ch 44- Still there?

Mirik's POV-

Three days had passed since I started training with the baton. But I was not performing as I wanted to. I threw the baton away in anger and lay on the ground. I had only slept two hours in three days and it was starting to take a toll on me. My whole body was aching. I was practicing, eating food, and then practicing again.

I called my eyes to control my emotions. I suddenly remembered the last conversation I had with my uncle before moving out of his house. I regret every day what happened that night. I left him alone and broke. No goodbyes.

"What are you doing Mirik, control yourself." Raja uncle shouted at me.

"What do you mean uncle. I &&&&&&#####" I don't remind what I said as my certain memories were erased. But it was something related to my girlfriend at that time.

"You have to calm yourself down. Don't let anybody control your emotions." He said while putting a hand on my shoulder.

"DO you even know what I am going through?" I replied screaming.

"I don't but everything will be fine." he tried to console me.

"No. How dare they," I replied still mad.

"Do you know you are not angry by virtue? You are angry because you have a huge ego. You think that everyone should live the life you want them to. And you get angry when things don't happen your way. I never stopped you when you got angry because I believe that one day you will understand that it's your ego that keeps people away from you but it seems like you need more time." he said in a stern tone.

"Yeah. You are right and that's why I am leaving." I said and left taking the things at that moment.

I still remember his sad face. Staring at me with disappointment in his eyes. I wish I could go back and tell him that I didn't mean to leave him alone. It was because of me that today he is not with us. Who is there to blame? Kiara's hate for me is justified. The good thing is that she is not the only one who hates me. I hate myself more than her.

I will do anything to get him back but now that it's not possible I can only do one thing. That is to get stronger and not let any harm come to Bala and Kiara. Thinking this my frustration grew even more.

I stood up again and picked up the baton. I started swinging it again and again in a flow. I did it for an hour and then switched to staff training.

I kept swinging and swinging with everything out of my mind and imagining an enemy in front of me. Hitting him in all the places on the body.

I was just lying to myself earlier. Protecting Bala and Kiara was secondary to me. The first still was the revenge.