webnovel

Fate/Whimsical God

—Fate Whimsical God— (Crack-fic) Some poor sod awakens in the void, accidentally wills himself into becoming a nigh-omnipotent god, then crash lands into the world of Fate before life had even sprouted on the planet. Author's notes: First of, I would like to say I'll probably write this while I'm sleep deprived, so don't expect this fic to actually have any semblance of quality. P.S: Indiscriminate gender-bending.

Dunnonia · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
6 Chs

CH2

Chapter 2: Around the world. (2/6/24)

"Oh boy," I smack my lips while glancing upwards into the night sky. "I sure hope that meteor doesn't hit me." I said jokingly. From beyond the stars, a decently sized asteroid fragmented into countless pieces upon breaking past the Earth's atmosphere, but a sizable chunk of it remained intact and resumed its descent from the heavens.

I stood dead in my tracks and watched in utter disbelief as the speeding space rock blatantly defies the laws of gravity to magically hurl itself towards my position as if to spite my prior words. The meteor quickly consumed the distance between us, but instead of running away or panicking, I merely let out a tired sigh in acceptance of my inevitable death.

"It was a bloody joke." I grumbled while pinching the bridge of my nose. It had been a while since my previous death, and I certainly didn't expect the next to be caused by a meteor of all things.

Utterly indifferent to my feelings, the deadly space rock crashed but a meter away from me (real convenient) with a resounding impact that greatly shook the entire continent. The shockwave alone completely disintegrated everything around its landing zone, including yours truly who got torn into particles near instantaneously.

Robbed of consciousness, my senses was thrown into a state of etherealness I usually enter shortly after dying. Do not fear, I have not perished (I never will), the darkness only lasted for about a second before my consciousness returned in full force.

My eyes quickly shot open to study the vacinity, expecting it to resemble an fiery apocalyptic vista due to the prior event—Instead, I found myself completely wrapped in pure white, which prevented my eyes from seeing more than a few meters ahead. 

Snowflakes fell from the sky, transforming the entire area into a pristime canvas. How such scenery came to be, I do not know (don't worry about it). Amidst the endless expanse of a snow-covered landscape, the ever-present gale unleashed a chilling roar, causing my clothes to flutter around uncontrollably, much to my annoyance.

The sudden decline in temperature did little to bother me, but the rampant winds and rapidly accumulating snow certainly was. With a flick of my hand, I accessed my inventory (yes, I made one) and took out a sturdy fur coat to fully cover my figure, protecting me from the harsh snowstorm.

With each step I took, the snow beneath me sunk, and my destination grew ever closer (which was nowhere, I'm just going where my feet takes me). After hours of trudging through the frozen landscape, a certain game made its way to my head. God of War—more specifically, the corpse of a frost giant, Thamur, who died while fighting the God of Thunder, Thor. 

Even after death, the colossal being's carcass exuded a perpetual frost that solidified the area where it had fallen. It was one of the most breathtaking sights I've ever witnessed in a videogame, and now I have the chance to see it in real life. 

Excitement flashed though my eyes as I recalled the exact scene in which the player first discovers Thamur's corpse, who was half-burried under a mountain of snow with its hollow eyes gazing at nothing in particular and a gigantic nail going through the frost giant's head. Then, I recreated the entire thing with a thought, and made sure the colding carcass stayed as one in the foreseeable future (I don't want it rising from the dead).

Upon setting eyes on my latest creation, a wide smile etched itself onto my lips. Though my gaze failed to penetrate the thick veil of snow ahead of me - which blocked the majority of the giant's body - I was plenty satisfied. However, it was incomplete. Stretching my arm forward, a battle axe that exuded the distinct scent of frost appeared within my grasp; the Leviathan Axe, used by the Greek God of War himself throughout the fourth and fifth installment of the franchise.

I held the axe high above my head, then executed a swift ground smash using all my available strength, causing snow and dirt to bellow into the air and the earth hiding beneath to shatter like fragile glass. The axe created countless shards of ice around itself and remained stuck within the floor even after being freed from my hold. It was an immensely powerful weapon no doubt, but it wasn't mine to wield (not like I can't make more of it), It was to whoever finds this site in the future.

With all that said and done with, I resumed my journey through the endless icy plane.

---

"I don't know where I am, all I know is that there's snow everywhere." It had been a few weeks of non-stop walking, yet the ever-present biting gale was as strong as ever, showing no signs of receding. As if to answer my boredom, a shrill screech echoed from beyond the curtain of flakes, which parted right after to reveal a large, blue-feathered bird of prey swooping in at an incredible speed while brandishing its claws. 

A shout of pain escaped my lips when two sharp talons impaled itself through my chest. The bird brutally slammed my defenseless body into the snow-covered ground, denying me a moment of respite, before shooting upwards into the clouds. My vision blurred as the giant avian forged through the relentless blizzard without regard for my safety.

Weakened by the amount of blood pouring out of my wounds, my vision flickered in and out of consciousness. My attempts at escaping the creature's mighty hold all ended in failure due to my mounting delirium, so I was dragged across the sky like a broken kite without being able to do much.

Deciding it wasn't worth the effort, resistance slowly left my body, and my senses dulled a moment later. After an undetermined amount of time, my awareness gradually returned. Upon opening my eyes, I was greeted by the sun's morning rays filtering through the gaps in a tree's foliage, casting slivers of light upon my weary form.

'Hold on a second… the sun?' Shaking off my drowsiness, I quickly analyzed my immediate surroundings, causing my brows to crook slightly. Warm sunlight replaced the relentless snowfall, and lush greenery took over the muted environment I'd gotten used to in the past couple of weeks.

I was currently lying in the middle of a grassy plain with trees scarcely spread around. "How the hell did I get here?" I ask nobody in particular. To my surprise however, something did answer my words (why does this keep happening) in the form of a white ball suddenly colliding with my chest with enough force to crumple a car, yet all it did was push me a few meters backward.

Without saying a word, I firmly grasped the thing on my chest, tossed it some distance away, then held out my trusty greatsword in a defensive position in case of a follow up attack, but nothing came. Narrowing my gaze, I scrutinize my assailant's full form; it was an average sized rabbit with long droopy ears, impossibly pristine fur, and round ruby-like eyes that stared directly into my eyes.

"Huh." I lower my blade and relaxed my posture. The fluffy creature was strong, but not enough to seriously injure, or outright kill me. Letting go of my weapon, which vanished with a flicker of light (it entered my inventory), I wave my hand dismissively at the creature. "Shoo-shoo."

However, it seemed to take great offence at my gesture as it responded by curling its hind legs before pouncing forward with the ferocity of a car driven by a drunkard. Fully prepared for the incoming sphere of fur, I effortlessly deflect the animal with my arm. Upon landing on a patch of grass, the bunny glared threateningly at me, which I found adorable more than anything. Then, a certain famous rabbit with similar features crossed my mind.

The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. An amused smile appeared on my face. "You just got yourself a huge power-up, little bunny." With a simple mental command, said animal had its strength bolstered by many folds. Now the little creature can generate enough power to obliterate an entire building with very little effort.

And of course, how can I forget about crowd of skeletons… and the Holy Grail itself, cause why not. Well, not the genuine article since Jesus Christ has yet to exist (perhaps he never will, who knows), but a 'simple' golden chalice capable of infinitely producing clear water with incredible healing properties that can even regenerate lost limbs once consumed, was placed next to the white rabbit's burrow (which was apparently next to the tree I woke up under. What a funny coincidence, right?).

The fluffy creature immediately made use of its newfound strength by hunching over in preparation for a powerful leap, before launching itself in my direction at a speed that nearly broke past the sound barrier.

"Can't have that." Despite its heightened physical prowess however, my eyes could still track its movements and react accordingly. Raising my non-dominant (left) hand, I summoned a round shield from my storage space and parried the filthy casual upwards, sending it tumbling into the air like a leaf in the wind. While the beast of cuteness scrambled to correct its orientation, I employed the renowned Joestar technique, like many times in the past, and booked it to the opposite direction without looking back.

Only after escaping the serene meadow, or entire forest for that matter, did my sprint come to a halt, not due to an obstacle blocking my path ahead, but because of the smell of sand and salt assaulting my nostrils. I had somehow, someway, arrived at a sandy beach filled with all sorts of things, dried starfishes (for some reason), clams, and crabs scurrying along the banks. It was a breathtaking sight, magnified by the fact there weren't dumb humans loitering around.

The fresh ocean breeze brushed past my skin, causing my outfit, which consisted of a simple tunic and pants, to flutter gently. "Damn, I wanna live here." Well, there's nothing really stopping me from taking shop here, but there's still an entire world waiting to be explored, so maybe after my journey.

While gazing into the open horizon, an idea once again formed in my head (where are all of these coming from, eh?). My mind projected an image of a certain deep ocean structure under the sea to view how'd it look first before committing to the idea. 

Upon finding the perfect area to place it, I used my ability of True Creation (yes, I named it that) to build it in the blink of an eye. An imposing structure emerged from the depths of the ocean, with a dark and weathered exterior built with worn bricks resembling the colours of the sea——It was none other than the Ocean Monument from Minecraft.

The monument is surrounded by rotund sea creatures with spiky appendages, and possessed the ability to shoot hurtful beams of light from their singular eye, called 'guardians', adding to the eerie atmosphere. Inside the central chamber lied a mountain of priceless treasure, guarded by an even bigger, more dangerous aquatic beast, named the Elder Guardian who can paralyze any living being within its line of sight.

Unlike the game, this monument isn't just filled with gold blocks for passing pirates to collect, but valueble equipment, ancient knowledge, and water-proof parchments containing clues about an item known as the "Heart of the Sea", are also hidden within the structure's weathered walls. As to what the final object could be… well, it is said that a god once used it to rule over the ocean's entirety, but had since been lost after their demise.

That's the lore I gave the Heart of the Sea before spawning it at an random location. While the object in question can certainly help one turn the whole ocean into their domain, only those with exceptional connection with the sea itself can bring out its true power to prevent people from abusing the thing and causing massive floods left and right.

While standing atop the water's surface like it's solid ground, I gave an approving nod at the Ocean Monument below (I have a feeling I'll be doing this a lot). With that out of the way, I made my way back to the calming beach to relax a bit.

---

"Making my way down town," I took a lengthy step forward while smiling widely. "Walking fast—" My cheery tune died off as the ground beneath me abrupty collapsed, opening a hole that lead into the depths of the Earth. "Oh." I let out a single syllable right before being swallowed by the chasm.

A few seconds later, my body collided with the unmoving ground at breakneck speed, producing a sickening crack that reverberated across the dark space I had the fortune of falling into upon impact. Worry not, dear viewers, as the unbearable pain jolting across my body only lasted for about a minute before disappearing altogether due to my enhanced natural regeneration.

This place is truly dangerous, one moment you're singing joyously, then falling to your demise in the next. I rose to my feet and replaced my bloodied clothing with a set of fresh ones tucked inside my [Inventory], then studied my surroundings. I had crash-landed into a rather large cave system (quite the luck I have), and there were no visible entrances apart from the very hole I fell into.

"I seem to have a knack for getting into places I shouldn't be." If this trend keeps up, I won't be surprised if I somehow end up in a different world just by stumbling to the ground.

The rocky walls were covered in sturdy looking vines and rootstock that protruded outward like outstretched arms, both could be used in combination to climb back out. With my escape route more-or-less secured, I decided to keep looking around. In the middle of the open cave was a small mound being illuminated by an ethereal beam of light coming from above like a spotlight. A beautiful sight to behold in itself, but felt incomplete in my eyes. Then, a light bulb went off in my head. "Of course!" I exclaimed.

A flash of light appeared atop my palm that quickly took the form of a majestic sword that radiated a powerful aura. The blade itself was teal in colour, and its purple guard was shaped like a "W" with a similar appearance to that of a bird's wings—it was the Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda. That's the missing piece needed to complete the general vibe of this place; a sword in the stone, waiting for its chosen wielder to arrive.

I strode towards the small mound and stood at its center, I held the weapon in reverse and raised it high, before swiftly plunging the sword halfway into the ground, turning the earth itself into its sheath. The floor groaned and shook in response to my actions, before settling down a moment later.

Nature hummed with power, lush grass and colourful flowers emerged, surrounding the Hero's sword, welcoming it like one of their own. Small specks of iridescent light swirled around the object in question like curious butterflies, they gave it an approving twinkle before becoming one with the blade, bestowing it their strength.

"Whosever draweth this sword shall bear the blood of the elves coursing within their veins, and be graced by the very blessings of nature." Upon finishing the sentence, the world itself shifted to carry out my words.

The contents of the command is as follows: If chosen by the Master Sword, the person who drew it would have their genetic make-up changed to that of an elf and gain the greatest level of affinity with nature one can possibly attain, said to only be achieved by the elves, who've long left the world.

With all that said and done with, I got off the makeshift pedestal and began climbing my way out of the ridiculously wide, brittle looking cave. It's no wonder why the floor beneath me easily crumbled when I stepped on it, however, with the sword's help it should be way sturdier now.

Emerging from the depths below onto the welcoming embrace of the soft, grassy ground, I quickly rose to my feet and instantly noticed something off. I clearly remembered it being daytime when I fell into that hole, how did it get so dark all of a sudden? Was that cave already special before I came along, did it have some sort of time-dilation ability?

No, night had not simply arrive, there was something else at play here, the mana around me was thicker, more dense than ever before, and became even harder to control. If one wasn't careful, they might just blow themselves up by handling more mana than their bodies possibly could (which doesn't really apply to me. I'm fucking invincible).

My gaze went up into the darkened sky, tracing the source of the strange occurrence, and quickly realized the reason for the change in scenery. Far out into the distance, hovering high above cloudy sky, was a ring of fire that shone like a second sun——The Dark Sign, which meant only one thing; Someone of immense strength had defeated the Lord of Sunlight and sacrificed a portion of their life to strengthen the flame trapped within the Coiled Sword, ushering in the Age of Gods.

"Well then," I stroke my chin, marveling at the Dark Sign's majestic appearance. "Things are bound to get interesting from now on." With the effectiveness of mana skyrocketing, the creatures of this planet would have to adapt in order to survive (dragons would have no problem, they're built different).

"I guess I'll have to step up my training regime to not fall into the bottom of the food chain." A predatory grin made its way to my lips. "Time to go hunting."

---

I crouch down to have a closer look at the small crustacean scurrying below me. "A small cowboy hat would look good on you." The small crab, indifferent to the world around it, continued on its merry way without paying much attention to my words.

Currently, I stood at a random beach with barely any wildlife out and about, as to why, I did not know, nor care. All that matters is that I'm here. Most of my time in this sandy space was spent building sandcastles, and digging holes like a true man. If there were other men around, they'd no doubt join me in my endeavor to the depths of the world.

Anyways, as I wrote random words into the sand's surface, my senses registered a sudden build up of magical energy far out into distance. My interest of the phenomenon peaked, making me wonder what could it possibly be. Throughout my uncountable years traversing the planet, I've yet to encounter such dense pocket of mana coalesce in one place, not even the Dark Sign's emergence a long time ago was this impactful.

With a burst of speed that easily broke through the speed of sound, I rush towards the strange event's origin in order to hopefully catch even a glimpse before it was over. The ground beneath me shattered with each stomp I executed to propel my body forward, resulting in my preceded path to be betrewed with destruction.

I crossed deep bodies of water and climbed over monumental mountains in minutes, before finally reaching my intended destination; an enourmous canyon that stretched out for many kilometers.

"What the hell is that?" I mutter in astonishment. My neck was forced to crane upward to comprehend the full size of the humanoid entity in the middle of the gorge, whom eclipsed the nearby mountainous peaks by many times. 

Its body was made of malevolent light, but the air surrounding the colossal being was anything but. The aura it spewed was that of hostility and sheer hatred towards the world around it, sending my instincts to be on qui veve.

As I stared at it in awe, the beast of pure energy abruptly released an ear piercing screech that caused cracks to zipper across the surface of the ground it stood on. My organs came close to rupturing, but my innate endurance prevented such thing from happening, thankfully. I'm not sure how exploding from the inside out would feel as such occasion had yet to grace me.

Across the distant horizon, as if responding to the beast's maddened cry, a pillar of brilliant light shot skyward, bathing the entire landscape with an ethereal glow. The mana around me softened, before pulling me into a welcoming embrace. Happiness and longing bubbled from within my soul, yet the reason for such surging emotions eluded me. Without realizing, I wiped away a solitary tear that silently made its way down my cheek.

"What—" The beast of pure hatred roared in challenge, cutting my words short, then bursts forward at a speed that belied its massive proportions and quickly swallowed the distance between itself and the beam.

The pillar of true malevolent light answered by toppling over into the direction of the charging creature, colliding with it a moment later at full force. The shockwave created by the two's clash exploded outward in spectacular fashion, destroying anything and everything that obstructed its path, including the tree I was posted on top of.

I unceremoniously flew through the air like a broken kite before being mercilessly depressed into the side of a tall cliff. I emerge from the indent my crash created into the outiside world just in time to see the colossal being's form shatter into countless flickering fragments, bested by its adversary.

The fallen pillar, the sole cause for the beast's demise, gradually dissipated into motes of light soon after as if finished with its task, giving my eyes full view of the changed landscape. "Woah…" My mouth went agape in amazement. What greeted me wasn't the aftermath of a fierce battle, but a grassy meadow filled with all sorts of colourful flowers emerging from the ground.

I made my way across the calming plain while marveling at its beauty, wondering how such environment even came to be. Was it the beam of light that caused this, or the death of the enourmous creature? Well, that I might not find an answer to, and I refuse to employ my godly powers to inject information of the prior event into my head, as it would ruin the purpose of why I even started journeying across the world on foot in the first place; to discover everything with my own two eyes. If I cannot figure out what happened, so be it.