Pecking Order

I would like to profess that there are a number of consequences that came with straight up blowing my family home to kingdom come.

So, I would like to apologise... to absolutely fucking nobody.

I have the Mother of Genesis latching on to me like some PTSD victim thanks to my suicidal experiment, have an AI that can dominate the technology of the current era which I built, am the current head of a five hundred year old family of magi and have a little sister that holds insane affinity as a vessel for the Goddesses Kama, Parvati, Durga and most important of all, Kali the Goddess of Destruction.

Guys, I might be him.

Anyway, enough about my new slightly narcissistic traits.

I learnt Sakura woke up after Kirei left, so yay, and since our clothes have all disappeared into nothingness, I coerce- EHEM, convinced my sister to go shopping with me, with Tiamat as our chaperone of course.

Shirou went off to brood in his dojo or something, I don't know.

But, as you would expect from a mad scientist like myself, I have another agenda beside feeding and clothing my sister for coming into this crowded mall.

Yes, the next step of my Master plan consists of buying a frog suit.

Don't worry, I won't explain.

You probably can't handle it.

"Geh... there's too many people here." I'm a natural, born to manoeuvre the ignorant masses, but anyone can have an off day, "What do you wanna do Sakura?"

I looked over to the purple haired girl meekly following behind me, holding tightly onto my pinkie finger like I was about to run away or something.

Dear Sakura, I'm not the puppy, you are.

I think she's still having trouble accepting that her hopeless situation just disappeared when she woke up after a particularly long nap.

"Anything is fine..." She spoke blankly, looking up at me with conflicted eyes.

So I just smiled, "Alright. We aren't in a hurry so I guess we can stop to eat something on the way back."

Tiamat, stop smiling like that.

It's not good for me.

Honestly, why did God make me such an angel?

I even took in a little sister.

Okay maybe talking about her like a stray puppy isn't the right thing to do.

Sighing, I curiously looked around the mall.

It's called Verde, apparently the biggest one in the city, and is supposed to have shops for just about anything.

It looks like one at least, with tiles, escalators, chauffeurs, the works... You know what a mall looks like.

"What are you looking for, sir?" A cutesy teenager with light brown hair in a bun came up to me with a sweet smile, holding a number of pamphlets... She's in one of those usual store employee t-shirts and jeans with a half-cap.

So, like an upstanding member of society, I shared my query with a straight face, "Nuclear-grade uranium."

"W-What?" The girl stuttered, visibly confused but then laughed nervously, "I...I'm afraid we don't have that."

"Fine... I want ballistic missiles."

"We... don't have those either."

"Nitroglycerin?"

I need some dynamite for... reasons.

Every man needs dynamite.

"...What is nitroglyshin?" Sweat rolled down her forehead as her figure shrink.

So I consoled her like the good boy I am, "You're not that bright are you, dear?"

"I-I'm sorry..."

Regret approaching me thinking I'm a cute shota, you materialistic teenager!

And thank me for teaching you a lesson about people being dicks.

"And I don't suppose you have a boyfriend either, with those plain behaviours."

"N-No..."

Dear random stranger, please stop tearing up.

I'm a kid, what kind of example are you setting with this behaviour? Stop taking words so seriously, grow up.

"Fine, where's the nearest cloth shop?"

Stuttering and trying to hold back tears, she pointed to a shop on the second floor, "T-T...There."

People are too sensitive these days.

But I suppose that's the impact of an innocent shota's words.

"Shinjii... did that girl do something to you?" Tiamat inquired curiously, peering over at the girl being consoled by her co-worker.

"Chill, don't pull out the nine. I'm just an asshole."

The Mother of Genesis pouted at my words, crossing her arms, "Bad Shinjii, don't insult... yourself."

Oi, your priorities are all wrong.

Are you the kind of parent that refuses to accept their kid can be in the wrong?

Ignoring the Beast, I started sauntering over to the escalator with Sakura in tow.

"Hey, do you feel off or anything?" I prodded cautiously, trying to make small talk.

Sakura looked up at me, pausing for a bit, "...I feel... good?"

It looked like she really was having trouble accepting her new reality.

"That's awesome." I flashed her the trademark shota smile and a small thumbs up before stepping on, "And just so you know..."

I turned around and flicked her on her small nose.

Sakura flinched and held her nose with both hands, looking at me in confusion, "That hurt, right?"

She nodded slowly.

"Yeah, so this isn't a dream." I ruffled her hair like my grandpa used to do mine, "I promised you, didn't I? Nothing's hurting you as long as your brother's around."

See, I emphasize the word brother because this IS, in fact, an eroge.

She took a step closer, pushing her head into my back.

Dear Sakura, stop trembling like you're about to cry again.

I'm not good with those things.

"Zouken and Byakuya are gone, it's just you and me now... I'll mess up the next person to screw with you even harder."

That was the truth, I would have ruined their lives if I wasn't as pressed for time as I was.

What's that?

Why am I so annoying?

Well duh, I'm a professional dickhead, I don't need justification and moral high ground like you chumps.

"Thank... you."

Tiamat's been awful silent today.

Come on you insensitive ptsd ridden goddess, save me from this.

Oi, why does she look like she's enjoying this?

"I have successfully allocated a number of anonymous assets to the Matou household." Cortana reported from my phone.

The year is 2000, so there's a lot of properties and land that's just 'there' and not claimed in the same way it is in the 2020s. An all-powerful AI could easily manipulate these records.

Of course they could also belong to some poor chump who didn't have them registered.

Well... too bad.

I have proof of ownership and they don't.

Though, note how she says Matou Household.

That's cause I'm not an adult and can not act in the capacity of one no matter how much I want to... But, doing things in the name of the estate is an easy workaround.

"Good job."

Cortana buzzed but didn't actually say anything.

-

I spent the better half of the next two hours picking out outfits... not.

I just bought like a dozen variations of a full sleeved shirt and camo pants... Sakura on the other hand, didn't say she wanted something... No she just looked at certain items with that weird longing gaze things pupp-...er, ptsd kids do.

So I spent a bit of time walking around with her in tow and buying whatever she was into.

Where did I get the money, you say?

Well, in true freeloader fashion, I 'borrowed' it from Shirou.

He's such a great guy.

After that, I guess Tiamat was feeling left out so I had to pick out clothes for her.

I swear to God it feels like I'm the mother.

So, all in all, the Matou family was now all dripped out in new fits.

Mine was of course, just a navy shirt and grey camo pants.

Sakura was wearing blue jeans shirts and a beige frilly blouse while Tiamat... well, Tiamat was currently drawing a lot of perv attention in her dark 'classy' trousers and neck high sweater... I can only hope to God she was wearing a shirt underneath.

"Hey... you wanna hang with us? We love kids."

Oh great, another one of these dyed hair wannabe dickheads.

'We love kids.'

Fuck kinda pickup line is that?

Let me eat my double cheeseburger in peace.

Tiamat looked at the young man curiously, "So what?"

And I almost spit out my cola.

Damn bro.

Since when was she so straightforward?

"Come on, you don't have to be lik-..."

"Hey mister." I interrupted like a generic protagonist, smiling sweetly at the 'delinquent', "Your zipper is open."

Now, seeing as I am an innocent shota, I can't fight him.

But that's cool, I'm more into making them consider suicide anyway.

Being in Japan is like easy mode for a professional dick.

I hushed Tiamat with a finger.

"Pedophile! This big brother is flashing me and my innocent little sister!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, moving to cover the eyes of Sakura immersed in a hamburger, "I don't want to go to your van with you! Leave us alone!"

Sorry dear sister, but we have to do this.

"H-Hey, no I didn't! Kid shut up!"

"Now he's shouting at me! Meanie!"

"N-No-"

"Son... there's certain lines we can't cross." A police officer put a hand on the tough guy's shoulder, holding a hand over his holster.

Thank you conveniently placed fat policeman.

Oh who am I kidding, looking at his beer belly, this mf is a daily customer here.

"B-But..."

I tugged on the guy's shirt, "Mommy says it's bad to tell lies."

"You damn kid!"

"SIR! SIR! CALM DOWN! SIR!"

"...He's resisting." I whispered, hiding my mouth behind my hand.

"SIR! STOP RESISTING! SIR! SIR!"

Always remember, random delinquent, there's always a bigger asshole out there.

I grinned at him as another police officer tackled him to the ground.

Then calmly, like I hadn't just caused a man's public death, I went back to my food.

"Shinjii... what was that?" Tiamat asked with a small smile once they were gone.

"A lesson in the pecking order." I sipped my cola, "I'm not letting no sweet talking delinquent take you from me."

Wait, that came out wrong.

"...I won't... leave, Shinji."

And of course she misunderstands it.

Great, now I have two crybabies on my plate.

Heh... on my 'plate'... We're at a fast food place... heh... get it?

Why the fuck is she smiling and tearing up at the same time?

-

Hope you enjoyed.

Leave a comment. It's what motivates me to write even more.

PS for extra chap? For real this time, I have 5 more written.

-

Interesting Bleap lore from today,

I woke up all rested like and enthusiastic about writing a ton of chapters today. Then, when I turned my laptop on, it turned out some dick spilled water on it the night before the keyboard was fried so no go there. So, I turn on my phone still enthused about writing a bunch and my little sister accidentally knocks it out of my hand, the damn thing hits the sofa at an angle and the whole screen just disappears, turns out the whole panel shattered.

I realised the universe was against me, so, I was like,

Fuck you universe, bet, and wrote almost three chapters by hand on paper. It's taking a while to type them in but... I WIN FUCK YOU UNIVERSE I WIN