Told You So

-

Nicholas looked down at the purple haired girl, totally not fake crying, on his lap, with his usual listless expression, "Girl, you really think I don't know you fucked with them first?"

Emiya's, who'd been looking over a map at the table with Leonidas, whipped around to stare at him in visible shock, as did Mordred... along with maybe more than a hundred roman legionnaires...

"Fuck you guys too." He flipped all of them off.

At least Mash looked supportive of him.

"Erm...senpai, y-you do have a habit of listening to... women more?" The girl meekly offered an explanation to the situation, fidgeting with her hands under the attention of everyone there.

But still...What?

"What?" Nicholas tilted his head ever so slightly, visibly confused, "Do y'all really think that?"

His question was answered by hesitant nods and averted gazes.

"Oh yeah? How many of yous would listen to a dude over a smoking hot chick?" Nicholas asked accusingly, scrutinising his audience.

Hey, he wasn't saying it was the right thing to do and he had punched nearly as many women as he had men but still... Actually, hold up, this was ancient times.

Nicholas pointed at the Romans, putting his other hand to his jaw, "How many of y'all would believe the woman over the man thinking she's too dumb to come up with something convincing?"

Both soldiers and commanders flinched at his accusations, probably because they were completely true... Which in retrospect was weirder for this world because you know, magic and shit would have completely thrown prejudices off the rails.

From this event, Nicholas Martel concluded that people were stupid.

The girl in his lap shifted and cried louder, "Wahhh! Senpai stop ignoring your beloved kouhai! They were so mean to me! Tried to capture me and even insulted you! Then they burnt their whole capital down for some reason!"

"You sure you had nothing to do with that?" Nicholas grabbed her head and lifted her up so that he could see her eyes... also because it looked weird to sit on a stool with a girl nestling her head into his lap... Even he could see the implications... Not to mention they were in a war room with dozens of dudes looking at them.

"Er... N-No! I...I would never do something to make your job harder than it already is!" 

Now that was a touching thing to say, would really pull at the strings of any man's heart... Only, BB was actively trying to avoid his gaze, looking everywhere but his face while trying to free herself from his iron grip.

"Belieb me senpai! It wasnh't me!"

"Yeah... I believe you." Nicholas spoke with a trace of sarcasm in his words, glancing over at Mash as he tuned BB out, "You know something about this?"

Nodding resolutely, Mash thought for a bit before her eyes lit up, "I could try contacting the Director and Chaldea... just that they haven't been responding to communications for quite a bit now."

Her attempts at establishing contact were answered by a hologram of a... very raggedly looking? Romani, flickering into existence... The Doctor looked around in confusion before realisation flashed through his green eyes, "Ah... h-hello everyone. I'm sorry we haven't been able to help... Chaldea's in a bit of a er... a bit of a situation at the moment."

Nicholas narrowed his eyes, watching as a sudden explosion on his side made the doctor duck to avoid a piece of debris.

"GODDAMNIT YOU BASTARDS! I'M NOT LETTING YOU RAYSHIFT! VLAD! USE YOUR NOBLE PHANTASM!! SIEGFRIED! YOU'RE THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB! DRAW THEM OFF!"

Olga screeched from behind an embarrassed Romani scratching his cheek, "Er... A-As you can see..."

"Man... the fuck happened?" Even Nicholas was surprised and could only mumble quietly.

"Well um... Some of the servants didn't like being left behind and ah... Well they gathered together under a certain som- EHEM Artoria- EHEM... And for the past few days Chaldea has been facing a mutiny as the more sensible servants try to stop their comrades."

""...""

A stupefied silence descended on the room.

"They've... They've taken over the cafeteria, the medical ward and the vehicle bay. Um, a few of them are trying to break into the command room as we speak. But don't mind that, we can handle this situation." Romani put on his trademarked reassuring smile and gave them a small thumbs up, "How can I help you?"

"...Huh, I just wanted to ask if you guys noticed new servants." Nicholas spoke plainly, incapable of processing the situation at Chaldea.

"So we're just going to ignore the fact that what I told you would happen?" Emiya jabbed at them with crossed arms and a small smirk, "Who would've known that gathering a couple of idiots would mean those idiots would fight each other as soon as the one thing stopping them was gone, right? It's not like I told you this would happen."

Nicholas flipped the sassy Archer off and returned his attention to Romani, "So did you?"

"Well, gimme a second..." Romani seemed to look around and work on a screen before tilting his head, "This is strange... We're detecting a swarm of magical signatures heading to your position. Do you guys see anything?"

"Tsk, that bitch followed me." BB clicked her tongue, visibly annoyed... up until she noticed Nicholas staring at her with dead eyes, "I-I mean, I wonder who that could be!"

Emiya narrowed his eyes before disappearing from the room just as Mash rushed out to notify the others.

Nicholas however, just chose to wrap his arms around BB.

"S-Senpai. M-Maybe in pr-private? W-Ahhh~!"

And increase the force behind his 'embrace' substantially.

"AH! It hurs! It hurts! Stop! Stop! It was me! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Nicholas smiled faintly, "And who did you summon?"

"A-Atilla the Hun!"

Instantly, Nicholas let her go and gave her an actual hug, his smile morphing into a small grin, "Why didn't you say so? I'd have given you a reward!"

"E-Eh?"

With that, Nicholas burst out of the room faster than even the servants could properly perceive.

-

Nicholas stood outside the city gates, stretching his legs as he watched a literal tide sweep over the horizon... A tide of very angry midgets on horses with bows trained on the city...

Now one would think that they were stupid for charging a city on horseback... The one would be completely right if not for the fact that this was Fate and Atilla the Hun could most probably blow a literal hole through the city's walls and defenses, allowing his man to swarm into the streets and raze the city from within... That was if and only if said man didn't boast enough power to just erase everything off the face of the planet.

"There's more than a hundred thousand of these guys." Nicholas noted with curious eyes, stretching his arms.

"Are you sure about this, Nicholas?! I know you are strong but this is far too much!" Nero shouted from overhead, looking down at him with... wait, was she worried?

"Meh, if worst comes to worst, I'll just displace the continent."

"...He'll do what now?"

"You know, lady, just leave him be... We should probably play checkers or something, he's gonna take a good while."

Nicholas ignored the discussion and narrowed his gaze at the 'enemy', running it along the vanguard until he spotted something that stood out distinctly even with the numbers of the Huns.

It was a tanned lady holding a sword the colour of the gay flag with short white hair and a veil over her head... and all the Huns were following her... not a single one daring to outpace her.

"...Fucking knew it, Atilla's a chick!"

"FUCK! He's never gonna let this go."

"Tell Olga I want my money."

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Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

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You could say I'm blowing through this way too quickly and you'd be right, Septem is a completely shit arc. I'll use it's cast for something else. Okeanos gonna be hella fun tho.

Also, check out Fate/Assailed.

It has longer chapters.