"Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?"

Nicholas tilted his head, eyes widening in surprise as he stared at the dollar store Disney reject standing some distance off from him, "You played Far Cry 3?"

Hell, was he wrong about the guy?

Maybe he wasn-

"No, I've no time for useless activities like you. There is much to be done after all, though I doubt you would understand even if I expanded." Lev explained further, his face completely unexpressive, "It is merely a profound quote I happened to-... No, it doesn't matter where I saw it."

Clicking his tongue, Nicholas shrugged his head in annoyance before returning to the more interesting activity, staring out one of the large windows in the corridors even though he couldn't see jackshit besides snow, snow and some more snow.

Even watching a snail cross a metre and then making it's effort useless by picking it up and placing it back where it started would be more interesting with the jagged teeth chucklefuck, "Ever heard of brushing your teeth? Maybe if you did, you could talk to chicks without being afraid they'd run away from your stank. Better yet maybe Olga'd look your way if you got rid of that raggedy ass haircut, Hillary Clinton looking ass."

"You..." Lev sighed, completely unamused with the constant harassment and childish insults, "You just refuse to give up this unproductive and useless slander."

Nicholas glanced at him from the corner of his eye, "You started it, bitch."

Actually, he wondered why he hadn't punc- nevermind, he'd done that.

The guy just kept getting up like he was reviving.

"Gah... Truly, you are insufferable. Insufferable, weren't we under truce to not undermine one another?! Stop burning down my work and ruining my clothes!" Lev finally cracked, veins popping out on his forehead as she shouted at A-Team's newest member with a red face, "Why must humanity be petty like this?!"

Now, under normal circumstances, one would just take his words as him expressing his annoyance in a philosophical way, linking Nicholas' behaviour with mankind's inert rebellious nature and then disregard them because he was a two faced cun- *ehem* but, this was Nicholas.

The pale haired teenager narrowed his eyes, staring out into a brewing snowstorm, "Why do you keep saying humanity like that?" He then turned to eyeball one of the cameras in the corridor which immediately moved the other way, almost like the head of a certain someone, "You wouldn't happen to be some sort of God or Demon in disguise that's gonna backstab us soon... right?"

Lev was only momentarily stumped, by the sheer absurdity of the claim and the suddenness with which it came in. Unfortunately, the usually aloof Nicholas noted it immediately, of course he completely ignored that anyone with a brain would be reasonably stumped.

"Absurd, I knew you were simple but I never knew you were a deluded buffoon!" Lev cackled, eyes closed and croo-jagged teeth fully on display, "A Demon God? Hahahaha! I didn't think you were a comedian!"

"Cool cool cool cool bro but..." Nicholas turned to face him, both hands behind his back, "I never said Demon God."

Lev Lainur flinched but never let the smile on his face fade, "I-I must have misheard then! Silly me."

"Uh-huh..." Nicholas nodded tentatively, narrowing his eyes as he dragged out his words, "And I suppose the Flauros in your name is just pure coincidence."

Lev Lainur Flauros.

That was the full name of the inventor of the not-useless Near Future Observation Lens, SHEBA. Nicholas tried using it to look for the one who asked but the defective piece of shit that it was, being invented by Lev, it didn't turn up jack.

Anyone old enough would eventually happen across the name Flauros, or maybe just google it considering how ominously stupid it sounded.

It was totally a coincidence that shady two dollar villain looking guy just HAPPENED to have that name, right?

"One does not get to choose their family I'm afraid. Rest assured, that was not a jab, I am completely aware of how you could never relate with such a thing..." Lev offered with as much calm as he could, the bead of sweat rolling down forehead said something else, "But still, do at least try to grow up... As if a Demon like that could manifest in the current age."

Nicholas nodded slowly, "Why wouldn't it?"

He was totally going to snitch on this guy.

"Ah..." Lev put a hand over his face, letting out a sigh, "I forget you are no magus. Mystery has faded over time, draining the supernatural as a whole."

"Mystery? Wut's that?"

Lev groaned, visibly annoyed, and threw his hands up in surrender before turning to walk away down the corridor, fists clenched.

"Gotta love how he thinks I'm completely retarded." Nicholas smiled slightly.

Well, he was.



A wooden chair smashed into Lev's back and for once, Nicholas wasn't the one responsible for it.



"Is it getting less and less subtle?" Nicholas wondered to himself as his servant tried to assault Lev, "Nah, it's alright."

What could be more subtle than a motherfucking chair to the back?


Romani tapped the sole of his shoe against the ground, a welcoming smile on his face and a clipboard in his hand as he waited for the door in front of him to open.

"I've never noticed this before but..."

Chaldea could really do with some flair in it's design.

The people working here were great, unique and fun to have as coworkers but the place itself was somewhat bland and repetitive in it's design. Of course Romani had never noticed or considered it before cause of Magi Mari and work and what not but it was hard to miss after Nicholas kept complaining to management every single day after his first week with them.

Romani shook his head, pushing away the idle thoughts and concentrated when the door slid away. It was time for the medical check-ups and each one of the Chaldean Masters had their own reservations when it came to having them, which hurt the poor doctor's feelings.

What came into view made the doctor tilt his head in complete confusion.

Kadoc was furiously typing away, so he hoped, on a laptop as Nicholas stood watch over him, arms crossed.

Both boys were focused more than he'd ever seen them.

"Er... W-What are you two up to?"

It almost felt bad to interrupt them.

"Oh, wassup doc." Nicholas turned around with a small smile tugging at his lips, completely unintentional he knew, "You came just in time."

Kadoc greeted him with a small bow of his head, "Doctor Roman, welcome."

"We just dropped a sick beat. Wanna listen?"

Kadoc pursed his lips and turned to the side, hiding his expression but failing to hide his shaking body, "Y...Yes."

"Sure, why not?" Romani smiled encouragingly, "I'm sure you two have the talent."

The music kicked in and the doctor hummed his head along, the opening was nice...

But then,


The doctor's mouth froze and trembled, "I...It's goo-"

He didn't want to hurt their feelings, it would be cruel to laugh at their dreams.

Unfortunately, his feelings didn't mean the music would stop.

"SKRT! YEET! YEH! EY! EY! ..."

Kadoc put both his hands over his face, shaking so much Romani would have been worried if he was having a stroke while Nicholas just kept nodding his head with closed eyes, looking enthralled.


At that, it was just too hard.

The two teenagers burst out laughing, Kadoc fell backwards along with seat, hands over his stomach, red faced and struggling to breathe. Nicholas didn't even bother to try to save face, he just laughed his ass off.


Was it really that surprising that Romani joined in?


He would later learn that the two had broadcast it all over Chaldea and the Kadoc's 'furious typing' had been him arranging the broadcast.

And if only for some moments, the worries of being the only thing standing between humanity and it's destruction were forgotten

How Nicholas managed to talk the shy Kadoc into it would remain a mystery for a long, long time.


I really don't like it when characters sing in books, but I feel like I could make this one exception.

If anyone wants the actual audio and somehow doesn't know about this masterpiece of a song you can just search it up, literally write skrt skrt yeet.


You can find up to 7 chapters ahead at patre0n.com/Bleap

I think it's 6 rn but that's only cause I'm in the middle of writing the next one.

Next chapter