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Fate/Fisted

'If violence isn't solving all your problems, you simply aren't using enough of it.' Shitty day at work cause your boss wants you to do overtime? Punch him. Kids giving you problems? Punch 'em. Supernatural entities trying to fuck with you? Punch 'em. Demon Gods trying to destroy to humanity? Punch the ever-living shit out of 'em. Nicholas Martel is the sort of man who can and will solve any and all problems by beating the shit out of them. Young masters and even tsunderes beware, his hands are rated e for absolutely everyone.

Bleap · Anime & Comics
Not enough ratings
89 Chs

Annoyed Women

Nicholas eyeballed the brunette sitting across from him with an uncharacteristic gentle smile on her face, "What yu want, four eyes?" His mood was already shitty because his sleep had been disturbed, and the way she was smugly looking at him like a toddler was annoying him even more.

Maybe it was the fact that almost every room in Chaldea resembled a metal box, sometimes bigger or smaller with screens and furniture but a metal box nonetheless. Also, the staff was way too amiable, they tried to accommodate him as best they could so he didn't even want to punch them.

"Nicholas, a little bird told me about you causing trouble in London."

"And I got my pay cut for it, even got along with Daybit."

"Right, right... But it gives me the opportunity to show one of my many skills." Hinako Akuta was being a lot more proactive than usual, it was a good thing, just the wrong time, "And I can help you a bit, that's alright right?"

Nicholas narrowed his eyes and relaxed back into his chair, arms crossed, "You just read a novel about some therapist and now wanna be one."

Judging by her widened eyes and slight flinch, he was probably on the mark, "W-What makes you think that? I...I'm thousands of years old, no way something like that would cross my mind! Just shut up and let me help you!" She averted her gaze in embarrassment, massaging her right arm.

"You've never had friends have you?"

"I... I totally have!"

"Besides..." Nicholas slightly tilted his head, "Isn't therapy supposed to be about talking? How'll it work if I shut up?"

The teenager didn't feel even slightly bad about messing with the lonely millennia old not-vampire who didn't have any living friends aware and accepting of her nature.

The hag-*ehem* girl pouted, annoyed and embarrassed, "What... is wrong with you?"

"I don't get many people around me that can tolerate me cause it's 'weird', it gets me jumpy." Nicholas admitted, he'd punched Yu multiple times but she didn't even seem to be bothered by that.

Just when her smile softened, Nicholas threw her for another loop, "Also, why's the black man gotta have therapy?"

"...What?" Yu deadpanned, forgetting her annoyance, "Just stop that, what part of you is black?"

Nicholas slightly smirked, she didn't know he could, before gesturing downwards with his violet eyes. Yu followed his gaze, not understanding what he was saying at first before her eyes widened in shock, "W...Wha? You!"

"I know your name already..."

"Not Yu! YOU! You weirdo! You vul... You damn pervert!"

Nicholas ducked under the book thrown at him, "I deserved that..." He held up a hand in surrender when the odd tempered vampi- not-vampire glared daggers at him.

A few seconds passed, and Yu, Yu didn't know how to start talking again.

So she made the genius decision to use what she knew about Nicholas, "Howdy do buckaroo?"

...

...

"The fuck... The fuck was that?" Nicholas chortled, surprised but amused by her words.

Yu hid her red face behind her hands, "S-Shut up!"

The pale haired teenager wanted to talk further but was cut off by the door behind him sliding open and a more than usually excited Romani burst through, "Nicholas! I got the okay from the Director!"

By the time Yu's embarrassment turned to annoyance at it's cause, the two men were already long gone.

-

"The fu-"

Bright light erupted from the magic circle on the ground making Nicholas involuntarily cover his eyes even though it hadn't stung even a little bit. He looked at Romani standing off to the side with a clipboard in his hand, mouth open in surprise and then at the even more surprised Mash standing beside him.

Nicholas didn't know how the FATE system worked, he had no interest in how it did so he ignored the Doctor's explanation about it after the summoning heroes of legend part. There was no one else in the hall, mostly because this was also expected to be a failure like most of the tests before it.

"T...That makes the 4th successfully summoned servant." The Doctor unknowingly let classified information slip, his gaze fixed on the purple haired woman with blue eyes cautiously taking in her surroundings which were, SURPRISE, a room of metal!

Nicholas narrowed his eyes at her clothing.

A low cut, slit dress and a white cloak that was actually chainmail, ribbons in her hair, gauntlets and blue stockings? Stocking-like thingies? Actually... was there nothing under the dress? Oh right, she was also holding a staff with a massive cross at the head.

She looked like a h-

"Martha..." She spoke gently, elegance that seemed almost fake to Nicholas dripping from her mouth, "Just Martha. I accept your desire, let us save the world together."

Mash's fingers slightly twitched and she turned to the doctor who nodded back, "Saint Martha? The one who liberated Tarascon?"

"Erm... It is a bit embarrassing to be spoken of in that matter, but yes, that one just needed a bit of discipline."

"Wait Wait, hold up just a sec." Nicholas spoke up abruptly, holding up a hand with confusion written all over his face, "That's supposed to be a saint?" He pointed at her and Romani had the faint feeling he knew what was gonna come next.

"That is what peo-"

'Martha' was cut off by a gobsmacked Nicholas, "She looks like a two dollar hoe that hangs in a back alley."

Silence descended on the room, the expression of the Saint from the 1st Century, blessed by God, froze, "W...What?"

"You expect me to believe a saint dresses like that?"

"I... I see. Anyone can misu-" She tried to save the situation and Romani pitied her, it appeared not even heroes of legend were exempt from Nicholas' attitude.

"Uh-huh, 'misunderstand'... And how much of a 'donation' do I need to make?" Nicholas rubbed his hands together, "How about a hundred bucks?"

"A-Are you suggesting...?" Suddenly, the gentle and kind tone seemed like an act as a vein popped out on Martha's forehead and she clenched her fists, "Why you little brat... You think I'm a prostitute?! How dare you?! No one's ever had the guts to say that to my face bef-"

"So they said it behind your back?"

"Grrr! You! Where did that even come from?! My clothes are like this cause it's a pain to move around in those clunky robes! Besides, He said it was alright! I'll smash your face in! Who the hell do you th...ink..." Martha finally seemed to notice the other people in the room..., "You... are."

Why were they looking at her with pitiful smiles?

They weren't even surprised!

"I mean... I mean, that's a rude thing to say..." She lowered her head, hiding her flushed face behind long purple bangs, and ignored the echoing of footsteps, "Er... you shouldn't talk to girls like that..."

The footsteps stopped, and she saw black shoes enter her vision, "You and I can get along."

The sheer nonchalance of the words, coupled with the phantom smirk looming above her head, made Martha blow her fuse again and swing her staff, "Hm...Hmph! How's that?!" Of course she lowered her strength right the last second because her asshole Master was a human.

Bad boys would get disciplined!

It seemed that last second slow down cost her when all of a sudden her arms started going backwards, making her entire body spin with her staff before she reoriented and stopped herself, pleasantly surprised.

"You tryna throw down? Neat."

Martha stared at her Master and then down at the weapon in her hands and then at his face, "Are you... like me? How hard can you punch?"

It almost seemed like she'd forgotten the whole ordeal.

-

Unlike certain other characters who hide their true nature under a whole ton of walls, Martha tries but fails miserably. Her true characters, the easily annoyed and will punch you, part comes out easier.

She IS also the type to discipline you the old fashioned way.

Feedback please...

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