30

Chapter 30: The Time I Kill Is Killing MeNotes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

There are no words to describe how panicked Izuku is right now. He tries to act normal; walk normal, talk normal, but he feels as if every action is being scrutinized. He just can't get what Kacchan said out of his head.

Sure, he was expecting the stuff about his quirk. That had happened before, after all, and Izuku was assured that when asked, he could give Kacchan an explanation that had nothing to do with One For All. It was supposed to be easy.

So what the fuck was that?!

Does Kacchan think he's an imposter now? Someone disguised as Izuku? Or does he know? But he can't! Because Izuku never said anything! There's no way anyone would believe time travel! It should be just like last time, so where did Izuku draw suspicion? Why is it not "You have a quirk, where did you get it?" and instead "Who are you and what have you done to the real Izuku?" Even with all the changes Izuku has been making, what could have created such a big difference? There's something he's missing.

Uraraka and Iida walk behind him, their footsteps quiet, and Izuku can hear them whispering. Are they whispering about him? Do they think he's an imposter too? Are they going to accuse him of doing nothing, of usurping the identity of the real Izuku, of-

"Wow Midoriya! Uraraka! That was awesome!"

"A stellar performance!"

"What were those moves?! How did you-"

"-Bakugou totally not cool-"

"-that dropkick?! Sick!"

He shrinks back from the noise, not aware of where he is for a split second. He didn't realize they'd already made it to the monitor room. His classmates crowd him and it takes everything in him to remain still and smile.

I'm not an imposter. I'm just normal Izuku. Normal Izuku, right? See?

"Settle down class!" All Might shouts, his voice instantly cutting through Izuku's internal panic and simultaneously silencing the uproar caused by his arrival. "Now, let's discuss what just happened."

The screens flick through the footage of their exercise and Izuku latches onto the distraction. He scans the repeating scenes of their fight, each from alternating angles, and winces when he sees a replay of Kacchan punching him in the face not even five minutes ago.

"Who the FUCK are you?!" His mind echoes Kacchan's words. "What the fuck did you do to Deku?!"

Izuku grits his teeth and shakes his head. He can't do this. Not right now.

"You all did well!" All Might praises them as they stand in a line. Izuku's glad the attention has left him for the moment, although he still catches Uraraka and Iida glancing at him from the corner of their eyes. He tries to bring his mind back to the subject. The exercise. That's right. Him and Uraraka against Iida and Kacchan. Kacchan who thinks he is-

"But I believe the best in this match was Young Midoriya!" All Might finishes.

The sound of his name has his attention snapping back to the conversation.

"Well yeah." Sero speaks up from the crowd. "He was on the winning side."

All Might shakes his head with a chuckle. "While that is true, there are other reasons as well. Does anyone think they can tell me them?"

Izuku watches the interaction and feels strange. He doesn't remember this from last time, because he was incapacitated, and it's weird to experience. He also isn't a fan of the topic of this conversation, since he isn't feeling too much like a hero right now. Or that he has done anything remotely right.

Yaoyorozu raises her hand when no one else does and keeps her eyes on All Might as she defends her answer.

"It's because Midoriya utilized the best critical thinking skills." Yaoyorozu explains. "Bakugou was obviously in clear violation of the rules since he continued the exercise even though he was captured, but even before that, he showed no effort to synchronize with his partner or even talk with them. His actions did not aid the objective.

While Iida showed great adaptability in removing all of the objects Uraraka could use, he still fell prey to her taunts and allowed himself to be set up in a trap.

Uraraka also displayed superb combat skills, but she gave away her position when she had the advantage because she lost focus. Which is why Midoriya performed the best in this task."

She pauses to send a meaningful glance at Izuku, then continues.

"Not only did he condone teamwork between himself and his partner, he also kept the objective in mind, instead of engaging with Bakugou. His combat prowess and strategic thinking clearly makes him the mvp of the battle." She finishes primly.

Izuku stares at her, both awed and embarrassed at once, and she gives him a curt nod. All Might coughs, his hand coming up to wipe at imaginary blood. "W-well said young Yaoyorozu. Now for our next match-"

Izuku glances to either side of him, seeing a fidgety Uraraka and a silent Iida. He frowns.

"Um, All Might." Izuku pipes up, simultaneously attracting all eyes in the room, including those of the hero. "Don't you think we should discuss a little...more?"

The hero stares at him, slack-jawed and silent, so Izuku looks around awkwardly for support. His classmates give him confused or blank expressions. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He wasn't here last time but...

"Uraraka," He turns to address his friend, and she straightens up at her name.

"Yes?"

"What is one thing that Ka-Bakugou did wrong in the exercise?"

The room is silent, but Izuku keeps his eyes on Uraraka as she screws up her face to think.

"Well, like Yaoyorozu said, he broke the-"

"Not what Yaoyorozu said." Izuku cuts her off. "What did you notice in the fight?"

Whispers break out among his classmates but Izuku ignores them. He hopes All Might won't get mad at him for overstepping, but the hero hasn't scolded him yet.

Uraraka hums in contemplation. "...He didn't watch where he was going." She replies slowly, sparing a glance at Kacchan who stands unnaturally still and silent. "We were able to trap him in the capture tape like that, plus he didn't see me on the ceiling when he cornered you. And he ran into Iida at the end."

Izuku smiles. "Good observation. And what was one thing you think he did good?"

She taps her chin again. "Well he's strong." She admits with something like a grimace, probably remembering when he got a good hit in. "And fast. His fighting skills were incredible and even though he was captured, he still managed to keep us on our toes."

"You're right." Izuku compliments. "Now what about Iida and me?"

Something in her face changes, and she seems more confident in answering now. "Even though Iida was protecting the bomb, he was much faster than me and could have captured me in an instant before going back to guarding. He didn't really even try to do that. But, he did a good job of coming up with a plan on his own and blocking my attempts." She smiles at Iida bashfully. "It was a little frustrating."

Iida pinches his chin in thought at her words, listening attentively.

"As for you Deku, you were really smart and you came up with our whole plan! Uh, I don't really know if you did anything bad, but I think maybe we shouldn't have split up to search the floors for the bomb. I think then we could've won quicker."

Izuku nods encouragingly. She has a point, although it's standard to split up when covering more ground. Knowing how the exercise played out though, he can see how it would've been beneficial to stick together in hindsight. He turns to Iida, who still seems lost in thought.

"Great. Your turn Iida. Do each of us."

Iida blinks out of his thoughts and moves his arms robotically to gesture.

"Bakugou refused to cooperate or communicate, effectively leaving me in the dark. However, he did tell me what his aim was, and it was his suggestion that I stay behind. While a good plan for us to defend, in the end it didn't serve us well." He grimaces.

"Uraraka revealed herself to me prematurely, when it could've won her the exercise, but her plans to go after the bomb once she was discovered and distract me were well thought out and ingenious."

Uraraka preens at the compliment.

"As for Midoriya, I didn't see much personally, but from reviewing the camera footage, I can say he let Bakugou sneak up on him way too easily the second time. That being said, he made excellent use of his teammates, his enemies, and his surroundings in order to seize victory."

Izuku's smile is wide by the time Iida finishes. His friend brought up some excellent critiques. He glances at Kacchan, but doesn't actually think the blonde is going to say anything, so he goes next.

"Kacchan telegraphs his moves when he fights." Izuku starts, staring at Kacchan and waiting until they meet eyes. "He's always led with a right hook, ever since we were little."

Kacchan narrows his eyes at that, and turns his face away. Izuku sighs and looks away, but continues to watch his childhood friend from the corner of his eye.

"He was very good at sneaking around though. In the beginning and in the end. He did a good job of holding me back from reaching my teammate." And in all actuality, Izuku wonders why he didn't just fight him, even if he knows that was exactly what Kacchan wanted.

"Iida didn't take into account the movements of anyone else besides Uraraka when she confronted him. That blindsided him to both mine and Kacchan's arrival. He did well to defend against Uraraka though, taking advantage of his speed as well as his environment to give him the advantage, making it hard for Uraraka to act alone.

Uraraka communicated with me the whole time, and helped develop my plan. She also used her quirk to its full potential. If I had to give a critique, it'd be that she tripped up a bit when the plan fell through. That could be deadly in a real situation."

After his words, Iida and Uraraka both nod, seeming pleased. Izuku's glad. They need to know that they performed well and also what they can work on, without hearing only how one person has succeeded. As both of them have noticed, he made mistakes as well.

Kacchan clears his throat, catching Izuku's attention. He keeps his eyes on the footage and opens his mouth to speak.

"Four eyes listened to me and guarded pretty good even if he fucking failed in the end. He let himself be tricked like a fucking idiot."

Iida frowns and opens his mouth as if to argue, but Izuku stops him.

"Round face didn't think for herself. She relied on Deku and his stupid plan too much. But she had a good kick to her and her quirk was pretty fucking useful." Uraraka beams, not that Kacchan notices.

"As for Deku, he didn't fight me. Even if he wanted to capture me, once he knew I wouldn't stay down, he should've just tried to stop me with force. But he was a shitty coward so I got in his way." Kacchan glares at Izuku, little explosions popping off between his clenching and unclenching fists.

"But he was being smart. He kept getting the drop on us with his nerd plan. Like he knew things that he shouldn't have."

Kacchan's eyes are still on him and then they turn away. Izuku blinks, not quite sure what to make of those observations. Kacchan is right, in many ways. He's always been good at putting two and two together.

...Which does little to reassure Izuku of how their conversation after this will go.

"Well, isn't he psychic?" Mineta asks, calling attention to him. Izuku spins around in confusion.

"Psychic?" He repeats.

"Yeah." Kaminari joins in. "You know stuff. Like in class when you talk to us, or about the battle trials."

Izuku feels the panic he was squashing down start to bubble up. "I just...pay attention." He defends, trying for nonchalance. "And I'm good at guessing."

When no one says anything, Izuku continues. "You guys already know my quirk!"

"But you can do a lot of things with it." Uraraka adds from behind him. "I'm not sure about seeing the future, but I did think maybe it was mind reading or something…" She gives him a sheepish smile.

Izuku frowns, not liking the direction this is going. "I only have one quirk." He tells them firmly. "Can we just...go back to the exercises?"

He turns to All Might who has been unnaturally silent this whole time. The hero breaks out of his thoughts at being addressed and clears his throat.

"Yes, of course!" All Might agrees. "Thank you for your critiques everyone, I'm sure we can keep them in mind and improve!" He claps his hands and Izuku uses this moment to slowly slink into the crowd of his classmates.

"Now! To decide the next match!" All Might reaches his hands into the lottery boxes and pulls out two balls. "Team B will be the heroes and Team I will be the villains! Make your way to the exercise grounds!"

Izuku watches Todoroki, Shouji, Ojiro and Hagakure leave the monitor room. He breathes a sigh of relief when the attention is diverted to the large screens in front of them and away from his quirk.

The exercises continue, Izuku watching and analyzing them all for the first time, and not from second hand accounts. He observes how each of his classmates fight and makes mental notes for advice he can give them in the future. He's surprised by how few of them actually know how to fight and spares a thought for why they even had this exercise when the majority don't know. Izuku hadn't even known the first time around.

Once every exercise ends, All Might has them evaluate each other with what they did both good and bad. Izuku feels a swell of pride at that. He's glad he could help his classmates along, even if it was just by making a suggestion.

Unfortunately, with each passing exercise Izuku becomes more and more anxious. The flood of emotions within him rises as the clock ticks closer and closer to his conversation with Kacchan. It probably won't be that bad, he tries to reason, but Izuku can't stop the worry.

He just feels so sick. What is he doing? Why is he here? Doing well in an exercise? When he's failed in real life? When he should be out there searching for the real Izuku, the one who he is pretending to be, the one who he has stolen precious moments from, who he has failed?

"Deku-kun." Uraraka's voice murmurs in his ear. He looks up at the worried face of his friend. Not your friend. The other Izuku's friend. Look what you took from him.

"Are you okay? You've started breathing funny and you're awfully pale." She says. Her face is close, her eyes too searching.

What does she see?

Izuku looks around. Some other people are staring at him too. Looking too closely? Do they see something? Do they know? Who he is? What he's done?

What he hasn't done?

"I'm…" Izuku gasps, not sure when it got so hard to breathe. Why is everyone so close?

"I'm fine." He grits through his teeth. "I just...need a...second."

"Here. Come sit down." Iida instructs, and before Izuku can protest, someone is dragging him gently to the ground. He knows there were a few people who sat down earlier, either exhausted from their exercise or tired of standing, but he feels like the action calls too much attention to himself. He's fine. He just needs to calm down.

He lands heavily and spares a glance at the rest of his classmates. It's a mistake. They're all looking at him.

They know. They are asking why. Why Izuku? Why have you not done anything?

They've moved closer. Is that concern in their eyes?

For who? For him? Or for the person who should be here?

"Midoriya. I need you to breathe." Someone commands him- sounding a lot like Iida. Izuku can barely hear over the ringing in his ears. It's so noisy. Are they talking about him? Did Kacchan tell them?

"Talk…" Izuku pants, a few tears squeezing from his eyes. "T-talk...to me."

He needs something to focus on, something to hear, besides the thoughts swarming him. He's just being ridiculous. He needs to calm down. Of course they don't know. They can't . And Kacchan didn't tell them. Izuku just needs…

"I have a brother." Iida speaks, his voice firm, his hold on Izuku grounding. "He's a pro hero named Ingenium. He has the same quirk as me, except the engines are in his arms. He's a wonderful hero, and a great brother. I look up to him quite a bit."

Izuku swallows mouthfuls of saliva even when his throat feels dry. He forces himself to speak. "Tensei...r-right?"

He can hear the smile in Iida's voice. "You've heard of him? Yes, that's my brother. He isn't very well known, but he's growing in popularity in the area he patrols. He's the reason I wanted to be a hero. What about you Midoriya, what made you want to be a hero?"

Izuku's breaths come slower. His mind is dragged to a memory. A video on a computer screen. A wide back. A smile that reassured. A man that could take on anything.

He sucks in a breath and looks up, his eyes dragged to a specific person. A specific hero. He smiles shakily.

"I just…" He turns to Iida and tries to imagine he's talking to the Izuku of this timeline. He tries to imagine that he's explaining himself to the still missing teen, apologizing for his ineptitude. "...want to help people."

It's a terrible excuse, and he knows it. Izuku feels the panic bubble up within him again.

Iida's eyes rove over his face. They are a dark and reassuring grey, and not green. He gives Izuku a small smile and squeezes him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you will."

It feels like forgiveness, and Izuku wants it so badly, but he can't accept it. Iida doesn't know. He doesn't know that the person he's talking to is not the one who should be here. Izuku takes a deep breath.

"Thanks." He huffs.

Iida looks like he wants to say something, but instead he stands and offers a hand that Izuku gladly takes. His friend pulls him up easily.

"It's nothing. You'd do the same for me."

This time, Izuku's smile comes easier. He feels a little embarrassed though, at making a scene right in front of everyone. His eyes slide to his classmates, all of which have their attention elsewhere. Well, all save a few.

Uraraka watches tensely from the side, her hands wringing in front of her with worry. A pair of heterochromatic eyes watch him from the back of the room and two people turn away from him when he catches them staring. Lastly, crimson eyes stare unashamed, assessing him from a spot by the door. Izuku holds them only for a moment before he looks away first.

He turns his attention to the display screen. It seems they're on the last round of the battles. Izuku keeps his breaths carefully measured and slow. He's lucky the monitor room is so dark and no one paid attention to his episode. It can't happen again.

Still, he thinks his friends notice the difference. How he stops his mumbling at the matches, how he stands unnatural and unmoving. Izuku knows they want to ask, and he's infinitely grateful that they don't. He's taken too much from them already.

When the last match concludes and the last critique is given, All Might dismisses them. Izuku's eyes immediately meet with Kacchan's and the blood runs out of his body. He hates that he's more afraid of this conversation than he was with Aizawa-sensei. He hates that if he says the wrong thing here it will cost him more than just an expulsion. But what scares him the most is that this is Kacchan, the one person besides his mother who knows him more than anyone else. The one person who could easily tell if he were hiding something, or if he were a different person entirely.

"Midoriya." Iida calls, laying a firm hand on his shoulder. "If you don't want to-"

"It's f-fine." Izuku speaks quickly, mentally cursing his stutter. He can't look Iida in the eyes. You've taken this person from him too.

He hears a sigh. "We'll wait for you by the gate."

Then it's just him and Kacchan in the room. And All Might, who eyes the two of them warily.

"...I'm not sure what is going on." All Might says softly. "But I needed to speak with you, Young Bakugou, about your actions in today's exercise."

Kacchan's eyes finally break from his, flitting to the hero as a scowl crosses his face. "Hah?"

All Might shows no reaction at being glared at. "I told you multiple times to return here once you were captured and you didn't listen. You continued to attack a fellow student. I could get you in serious trouble for terrorizing Young Midoriya like that."

"Shut up! I get it!" He spits, turning his face away. Izuku watches everything uneasily. One wrong word from Kacchan and All Might will know that he thinks Izuku is an imposter.

The hero sighs. "Well, I believe your homeroom teacher should make the final call. I will inform Aizawa-sensei of this and he can decide on the punishment. You two go get changed." He waves them out.

Kacchan tsks and storms out, Izuku following uncertainly only a few steps behind. He doesn't want to argue in front of All Might, or their peers in the locker room, but he also definitely doesn't want to row it out in the middle of the halls. While school is almost out, it isn't yet, and there are still classes in session.

"Kacchan-"

"Change quickly." He growls. "And then we're going back to Ground Beta."

Izuku wants to protest, because this sounds like it will be more than just talking, but Kacchan walks faster. Izuku sighs. He supposes he can fight Kacchan like last time, and maybe they won't get caught and punished for it again, but he doubts it.

They arrive in the locker room and thankfully it's just the two of them now. Izuku changes quickly, eyeing Kacchan the whole time, and then he follows his friend right back to where they did the exercises.

Once they reach Ground Beta, Kacchan suddenly stops in his stride and whirls around. "Spill it." He demands. "Who are you?"

Izuku isn't sure what to do with his hands, whether he should fidget with them or get in a fighting stance. He decides to cross them over his torso. And then immediately drops them because it feels too defensive.

"It's me Kacchan. Midoriya Izuku. I am Deku." He tries.

Kacchan growls. "Deku doesn't have a quirk."

"It's a latent quirk Kacchan!" Izuku attempts to reason, hoping his voice doesn't betray him. "I don't remember exactly what happened, but the doctors say it was brought about by trauma, just ask Aizawa-sensei! I can't remember because-"

"SHUT UP!" Kacchan yells, exploding his quirk in a flash of smoke. Izuku waves it away nervously.

"Trauma? Amnesia? Kidnapped by fucking villains? How much bullshit are you trying to sell me? You have the extra toe joint idiot, how the fuck can you get a quirk?"

Izuku swallows thickly. His throat is hot and tight and his eyes sting a little. But he just needs to stick to the script.

"They haven't exactly, uh, studied trauma quirks before. Trust me, I was just as surprised as you are. But even if it's not a trauma-induced quirk, I wouldn't, uh, remember how I got it." He winces.

Kacchan lets off another round of explosions, making Izuku flinch. He hasn't attacked yet, but Izuku wouldn't put it past him in a few more seconds.

"You expect me," Kacchan begins, gritting the words out through his teeth, "to believe that you're Deku? You?" He takes a step forward and Izuku fights the urge to take a step back.

"Bullshit. You disappeared, then reappeared randomly five months later with no memory, and a fucking quirk!" He laughs, the sound lacking humor. "You certainly aren't as smart as Deku if you expect me to believe that shit. There's a thousand and one ways for someone to pretend to be someone else, and they could do a much better job at a cover story. So tell me…" He lowers his voice.

"Who are you?"

There's a thousand and one ways that Izuku can respond to this question, he thinks, and yet he doubts any of them will sound very convincing. The fact of the matter is that he is still Deku, even if he isn't from this dimension.

He swallows thickly. "I am Deku. I am-"

Kacchan swings at him, and Izuku catches his arm, tears spilling from his eyes.

"Don't-!"

"I am!" Izuku shouts over him, "I am!"

Kacchan yanks his fist away and turns around to stomp a few paces away. He rips a hand through his hair and screams at the sky, blasting his explosions at no clear target.

Once he's done, he huffs, panting, and Izuku thinks he sees something drip from his face.

"Kacchan…?"

His friend whips around, angry and with no sign of tear tracks on his face.

"Stop lying! You're not him! Stop pretending to be him!"

He makes another leap at Izuku and even though he blocks this hit too, Kacchan immediately follows up with another until they're brawling. As they exchange blows, Izuku thinks that he doesn't know how to fix this.

"Why don't you believe me?" He asks, pinning Kacchan against the wall of a building. "I'm Deku! I'm the same as always!"

Kacchan struggles and tries to blast him, but Izuku holds firm. "You're not! You can't be! How-" His voice cracks and Izuku's eyes widen. "-can I believe you?!"

He's still angry and his glare is just as venomous as always, but Izuku can see moisture there at the corners and this is all wrong. Why is Kacchan upset? Why are they having this conversation? What is happening?!

"I'll prove it." Izuku says firmly, releasing Kacchan and taking a step back. He isn't attacked again. "Ask me something only I would know."

Kacchan scoffs. "You could've read his mind or taken his memories."

Izuku sends him a glare. "Really?" He questions incredulously. "Then how am I supposed to prove it?"

The blonde glares back at him and they stare each other down.

"...I don't know."

Izuku sighs. He runs a hand through his hair and then sighs again.

"If I'm not Deku, then who am I?"

Kacchan's scowl deepens. "The fuck? How am I supposed to know?"

Izuku huffs, irritated. "It's because I am Deku. C'mon Kacchan, why would anyone pretend to be me?"

He really hopes Kacchan will see how ridiculous he's being. There's no reason for him to insist that Izuku is an imposter…

...Or is there?

"Why…" He asks, an idea forming in his mind that he doesn't necessarily like, "Why do you think I'm an imposter?"

Kacchan rolls his eyes. "Because you have a quirk idiot."

Izuku bites his lip. "That's not it though. Or at least, not all of it."

The blonde shoots him a glare. "Are you trying to be an idiot? I told you before I knew about your quirk too. You're acting weird for a useless Deku."

"Yeah…" Izuku agrees easily, because that's true, but..."Is that it?"

Kacchan narrows his eyes. "What do you mean 'is that it'? You think there's gotta be another reason?"

Izuku meets his gaze. "I don't think there has to be another reason. But I think there is. Your reaction doesn't make a lot of sense to me."

He bites his lip again as he thinks of saying something completely stupid. While this situation has resolved nicely, or as nicely as it could with Kacchan involved, Izuku has always been one to never know when to quit. There's something that has been stuck on his mind, ever since their first altercation in this timeline. The niggling suspicion that Kacchan knows something about Izuku's disappearance that he doesn't.

"So now that you are, uh, well…calmed down, I need to ask you something." He rakes his eyes over the fake cityscape, before setting them back on his childhood friend.

Kacchan doesn't say anything, he just turns to face Izuku, his crimson gaze burning right through him. He nods his head and Izuku gulps. He doesn't know why he's suddenly so nervous.

"I heard from the police, about my case, that you were the last one to see me? With your friends at school? And it sounded like you knew something when you said-"

"You're looking into your case?" Kacchan asks, cutting across Izuku. "Why?"

Izuku can't very well tell him that he's from an alternate dimension and is therefore trying to find this dimension's him. But, there's something about the question that strikes Izuku as odd. Isn't it normal to want to know what happened to you if you disappeared for months? Especially if you didn't remember it? It reinforces his idea that Kacchan definitely knows something.

"I'm trying to find out what happened to me. It doesn't sit right with me not to know. I lost months of time after all and-" Kacchan interrupts again.

"Did it ever occur to you, that you might not like what you find?" He questions, and it almost, almost sounds like a threat. There's something strange in Kacchan's demeanor too, a look on his face that Izuku can't decipher. It makes him uneasy.

"What do you mean?" He asks tentatively.

Kacchan huffs, like Izuku's being an idiot. "There's only so many reasons a person goes missing Deku. A murder. A kidnapping. Or-" And he levels a stare at Izuku, "they leave of their own volition."

"That's not-!"

"All I'm saying," Kacchan says, "Is that investigating your dumbass disappearance may do more harm than good. It might be lucky that you don't fucking remember anything. The police say you were kidnapped, right? And that you got the shit beat out of you." His eyes trail to Izuku's arms and hands. "That doesn't sound like the shit you want to remember."

Kacchan does have a point here, if this were under normal circumstances. But Izuku still needs to find the alternate dimension him, so he'll continue his search, regardless of how terrible the truth turns out to be.

"I understand." Izuku responds. "But I need to know. I can't give up on this Kacchan."

And it seems Izuku has officially said the wrong thing. Kacchan's face twists into even more of a scowl and Izuku can practically see the steam rising from him as his blood boils.

"Hah? Are you fucking stupid? I said to drop it Deku." He threatens.

In a rare moment of bravery, Izuku steps into Kacchan's personal space. "Why? Why should I drop it? I can handle it." His fists clench at his sides, the telltale sign of his mounting anger. He's already slacked enough. He can't drop it.

"Did you fucking hear anything I said?! If your useless ass was kidnapped, you should stop digging!" Kacchan shouts back, stepping even closer so that they're practically nose to nose.

Izuku narrows his eyes. "You know something, don't you." He's through beating around the bush. "There's something you know that you don't want me to find out. Something that has to do with my-"

"Damnit Deku!" Kacchan seizes him by his collar again. The sweet caramel smell of nitroglycerin fills the air. "What is your mom going to do if you go missing again?! Use your shitty head! Kidnappings can happen again! Especially if you're still fucking around in their business! Do you want to die this time?!"

Izuku stares, eyes wide. He feels a little shell shocked, like Kacchan just punched him in the face, even if he didn't. He honestly doesn't know how to react to that, it's too surprising. Kacchan cares about him. In his abrasive Kacchan way, but it still makes Izuku unbelievably happy. Tears slip from his eyes.

"What the fuck are you crying about?!"

Izuku wipes his tears away. Now isn't the time to get emotional. "Nothing, it's nothing." He answers. "But Kacchan, why did you say those things before then?"

Kacchan screws up his face in confusion. "What the hell are you on about now?" He finally let's Izuku go from his hold.

Izuku pats down his clothes and grimaces at the scorch marks on his uniform.

"You said that I pinned the blame on you for going missing and that I was making you look like a fool."

Kacchan doesn't react, doesn't even say anything, and Izuku looks up from brushing off his clothes to his friend.

"Kacchan…?"

"That's not fucking important anymore." He answers. "Forget about it."

But it really seems like something important, and Izuku doesn't want to let it drop, even if it's Kacchan requesting it.

"You were really angry about it." Izuku presses, "It seemed-"

"Fucking hell Deku!" Kacchan shouts and an explosion punctuates his words. "Why can't you mind your own damn shitty business?! I said it doesn't fucking matter!"

It's still not enough, not nearly satisfying. Izuku's mind whispers to him that he should listen to his friend. It's been engrained on his mind and body since young, what an angry Kacchan is capable of. But, Izuku's been frustrated too. He's here, and not in his own timeline, and he can't fix anything if he doesn't have all the information. He's tired . So tired of hiding things from people and not knowing things in return. Maybe that makes him a hypocrite. He's just trying to find the other Izuku. Is that too much to ask? Too much to hope for? Why does this timeline have to be so twisted?

"It does matter." Izuku insists, holding back tears, although he's sure the desperation is evident in his tone. "Just tell me."

An explosion would've been an expected response. Kacchan yelling at him would also be the top of the list among the realm of possibilities. What he doesn't expect is for Kacchan to just look at him. He gazes for way too long, his eyes searching for something in Izuku's that he can't place. Then, a vindictive look crosses over his face, and he takes a step towards Izuku.

"You really want to know? I keep telling you that you're sticking your nose too far into things you shouldn't, but you don't want to fucking listen, do you?" He keeps stepping forward, and Izuku backs up until his back hits a cement wall.

"When your sorry ass disappeared ," He spits, "There were these rumors going around the school. You see, it suddenly started spreading around that there might be certain people that wanted you gone." Kacchan says, Izuku paling at his words. At the horrible implications.

"It's funny, isn't it?" He almost laughs, but the sound is anything but happy. "How quickly people can turn on you. But I suppose you'd know all about that." He laughs again, darkly, and Izuku starts sweating. This is way outside of the realm of what he knows how to deal with.

"It made sense though, at least to me. That useless little Deku would pull one over on me, cause I'd been so horrible to him. That even when he wasn't fucking there, he'd still be fucking with my life." Kacchan takes a heaving breath. "And then you just waltz right in. Perfectly fucking fine. And you didn't even know what it was like for me, what I had to go through because of you!"

Izuku flinches at his volume, even though Kacchan has yet to hit him or get violent. He is kind of regretting asking now, tears slipping down his face. Everything that Kacchan says is so wrong in so many ways, and Izuku doesn't even know where to begin in order to make it right.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Sorry?!" Kacchan roars, the explosions making a reappearance. "SORRY?! IF YOU WERE REALLY SORRY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Izuku shrinks in on himself, the guilt claws at him, but he also feels an unreasonable burst of anger. Kacchan keeps acting like it was his fault that the other dimension Izuku went missing. Of course, he has no way of knowing that they are two different people, but Izuku is sure Kacchan has it wrong anyway. Sure, he doesn't know how the other Izuku went missing, but how dare Kacchan imply that it was anything the other Izuku planned. As if he disappeared of his own free will.

"I didn't leave!" Izuku yells back. "I don't know how it happe-"

"SHUT UP!" Kacchan screeches, moving as if to punch Izuku, but then thinking better of it. "You said that. I remember. " He hisses.

They hear it at the same time: a set of hurried footsteps approaching. Both boys turn to look at the intruder. Kacchan levels them with one of his top ten murder glares and Izuku looks like a deer caught in the headlights. And of course the person to find them is Aizawa-sensei of all people. It must be that some things never change.

He gives them his own murder gaze, which unfortunately trumps Kacchan's, since he uses his Erasure quirk as well. "What the hell is this?" He demands.

Izuku's backed up against a wall, tears frozen on his face, and Kacchan is hovering over him, close enough that their breath is mingling, his hand still clenched in a fist. Their teacher could not have walked in on a more compromising situation.

Izuku shoves Kacchan away and the blonde goes with it easily. "Nothing!" He says at the same time Kacchan says "None of your damn business."

Aizawa-sensei's eyes narrow and Izuku has to fight the urge to crack under the pressure. He does have to say something however, as a way of explanation, or they'll be here all day. And it doesn't look like Kacchan is willing to break the ice.

"We were just talking." Izuku amends. He uses his sleeve to wipe away his tears. "It got a little heated."

The pro hero gives them both a once over, still glaring. "It sounded like you were both yelling." Izuku looks down at himself and sure he's a little dirty and scuffed up, but that could easily be explained by the battle trials.

"Kacchan's my childhood friend." Izuku attempts to explain. "He was just worried about me when I-"

"No I fucking wasn't." Kacchan finally adds his two cents, effectively not helping the situation at all. Izuku shoots him a glare to express this, though Kacchan just returns it.

"Deku was just being an idiot. Like always." He jabs.

Aizawa-sensei narrows his eyes, still likely trying to determine if this is punishable or not. Neither of them is injured though, even if they did fight.

Which...the cameras probably caught. Izuku grimaces.

"Well, I have no idea what's going on here, but I have a pretty good guess." Their teacher drawls. "Since you two are adamant in hiding it, I'm going to let you both off with a warning. Don't let this happen again."

Izuku shakes his head vigorously and Kacchan simply scowls.

"Good." Aizawa-sensei sighs. "Now go home. The final bell has already rung."

Izuku rushes past his teacher, Kacchan following behind at a more sedate pace. They go to the classroom first, to grab their things. It's just the two of them moving in awkward silence.

"I was probably the last one to see you." Kacchan speaks, his back to Izuku. His voice echoes in the empty classroom even though he talks quietly. Izuku pauses in his action of packing up.

"The notebook, remember?" He turns to look at Izuku, a conflicted expression on his face. "I didn't see you after that."

Izuku stares at Kacchan, both him and the classroom backlit by the dying light of the sun shining through the window.

"Yeah, I remember. Do you know where I went after that? What I did? Did I say anything to you?" Izuku asks rapid-fire.

Kacchan wrinkles his nose, like he smells something foul. "The hell? Why would I know something like that?"

Izuku sighs, disappointed but not surprised. He thought he was finally getting somewhere.

"Right." 

They walk out of the classroom, strides matched in a comfortable companionship. Iida and Uraraka are no longer by the gate, probably having to catch the next train when they could no longer wait up. He doesn't particularly mind though, and Kacchan is proving to be tolerable company right now.

The walk home is just as quiet. Kacchan is thinking deeply, his eyebrows pinched together, and Izuku knows better than to interrupt him. He lets his mind drift to All Might.

He didn't get the chance to ask about their meeting after the sludge villain. If the hero recognized him or not. It's proving to be the only clue he can get when it comes to his disappearance. He only hopes the conversation, when it happens, will actually bear fruit and not be another dud.

With his thoughts on how he can pull All Might aside at school tomorrow, they arrive outside Kacchan's home. Izuku halts, waiting for the blonde to go in, but Kacchan continues to stand out on the street, clearly distracted.

"Kacchan?" Izuku inquires. "What's wrong?"

Kacchan turns around, a frown on his face. But not one of his angry ones, no. This one is more contemplative, and dare-he-say, worried.

"Fuck!" Kacchan suddenly yells, startling Izuku. He rakes a hand through his hair furiously, almost ripping through it. "Fuck!" He repeats.

Izuku stares, at a loss for words. "Uh…"

The blonde shoots him a glare and then averts his gaze. He sighs. "There's something else." He grumbles, kicking at the road, skittering pebbles. "Fuck, shit, nevermind."

He turns to go into his home, but Izuku grabs him. "Something else? Kacchan what? What are you talking about?"

His friend won't look at him, shrugging off his hand. " God Deku, why don't you fucking remember?!" He hisses, a glower taking over his face. "Fucking goddamnit!"

Izuku studies the blonde, heart beating like a broken metronome.

"Kacchan." He commands, firm. "Tell me."

Kacchan looks at him, all pinched features and impressive scowl. He looks lost , conflicted in a way Izuku has never seen him before. It makes him worried.

"On the day you disappeared. The last time I saw you was at the school. I didn't see you after that. But…" He turns away.

"You left a note."

Izuku's heart picks up its pace, pounding against his ribcage like it wants to break free. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. It doesn't matter though, since Kacchan isn't finished.

"You left two notes actually. One for me, and one for your mom." Kacchan still won't look at him. "But I have them both."

Izuku shakes his head, trying and failing to understand what this means for him. He forces himself to speak.

"Kacchan, a note?" He repeats numbly. "I left a note?"

His friend finally turns toward him, red eyes locking onto green. "Yeah," He confirms.

"A suicide note."