02. A pray for the broken soul

**Caution! This chapter contained a bit of crude word and bullying acts. Please skip this chap if you're having problem with these theme.

*** If you want to continue, I'll put ## sign before the scene starts.

***

If someone ever asked me, do I believe in Karma and Goodwill? Do I believe in God? I would stare at that person to try convey my answer without sounding rude and apathetic.

The answer would be different if I was asked 3 years ago. But time has passed, and all the years of pain and difficulties could do so much to a person, believe it or not. I've lost so much, and I've felt too much. I'm forced to grow faster than my peers through the hardships of life that no one would never wished for. I have no one to share the burden of this teenage life, where I'm demanded to stay strong to.

I've been praying and putting my faith for a better future that yet to come. I'm only 16 years old girl with no friend or power to fight all this challenges. There's only so much a girl like me could endure, and what?

Be patient they say.

###

Braakk!

I flinch at the pain on my right arm that colliding with the lockers in the hallway.

"Look at how this bitch still here. Why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself? You're such a waste of space." Laughter follows after what Stella says. The queen bee and her cronies's laughs sound like a piercing on the walls. I hate it. I hate them.

Be strong. Be patient, is what they all say.

Well, I am. Look how I'm patient enough to accept all the beating and the spiteful words they're all throwing my way. Look how I do not do anything.

What else should I do?

What more do you want from me?!

"She's got a lovely eyes though. What a shame that she's such a loser."

Shiver running down my spine hearing those words. The way he looks at me from top to bottom put my heart in a freeze. I don't like to hear any compliment from them. Not one bit

"Ew.. Brad. What's wrong with your eyes?"

"Yeah Brad, you like her or something?"

"Shut up, Barb. No one's like to hear your annoying voice."

Suddenly Stella gasp with a lit up expression like she just found a very good idea.

"I heard that today is your birthday, Amber."

I would say that Stella looks so pretty smiling if only I didn't see an evil intention behind them. She steps forward with her drink in her hand, smiling while her cronies snickering in the back, watching closely.

"This is my gift for you. I hope you're thirsty." She pours the iced coffee on my hair, and they drips down ruining the new blouse I get from my mom this morning.

I should've known that this would happen. I shouldn't wear this today, but seeing the smile on my mom's face today shuts my mouth from saying anything. I hope they'd finish with this sooner so I could try to wash off the coffee stain.

"Oops.. sorry, my hand shaking." Laughter booming louder in the hallways, and though it could be heard far out, no one's coming. No one actually dares to fight the queen bee and her gangs of bullying. And though teachers heard of this, they'd just dismiss it like it's just the last breakout acts before they graduate.

No one's coming to my rescue. And I hate this feelings of wanting to be rescued. The feelings of dependent and incapable of fighting on my own.

"You guys should give her a birthday present too. Oh, how about we celebrate it together? Isn't that such a great idea, Amber?"

'Don't ask me like you need my answer. You'll do whatever you want anyway. Oh hey.. How about you all just fvck yourself and gone from my life?' How I wish I dare to say those words right in her face. But, I'm weak.

"That's fantastic idea, Stel." Barbara answer her with the same fake excitement as always.

"Where should we celebrate your birthday, Amber? You wouldn't like it here, won't you?" She pretend to look around the hallways, where she and her gangs usually bullied me. And this part of the hallway is their favorite spot.

I won't react in any way and she knows it too. I wish she could just stop pretending to be thoughtful and get this over with. I have a blouse to clean up to.

"Anyone has a good idea? Do you have somewhere in mind, Brad?"

Ah. So now Brad's time to bully me? Lucky I didn't eat my lunch today, or I would throw all of them up and he'll told me to clean it up with my hands. Bad memories.

"I have an idea. Should I give you the best birthday present ever, Amber?"

##

I can see the tip of his shoes through my eyelashes as I turn my head down, not wanting to look them in the eyes. He is not touching me but I can feel every fiber in me stand on alert at his words. It's like I could feel the evil intentions behind them.

He doesn't touch a single inch of me, but my hairs standing on end. It's like they're trying to tell me that this is bad news. This could be the worst day of my life.

What is this sick feeling that root deep in my stomach? What is all this feelings trying to lead me to?

The danger sign in my brain blinking hard and yet I cannot do a single thing to prevent my near doom. This foreboding feeling turn my body into a trembling mess. And I don't like it one bit.

"Aw.. look at her hands trembling."

"I guess she's so excited to hear about this birthday present, Brad. Go on, don't keep her waiting!" Stella clap her hand to hurry me down the hallway, while Brad already walking in the front, to lead me to wherever they decided to bring me to.

I'm pretty sure, there's no cake and balloons with a happy birthday written on it. Only me and my bad predicted fate. How I hate that word, fate. It's the word that describes all the bad things that happening to me, all the hardship that I have to go through is all described in one word.

Fate.

I wonder if God up there watching me with a smile on His face, proud of how the tragic story written like a perfect script. Or if He's crying at how sad my life as a 16 years old girl with her mom only, living hell through and through without anyone's help.

I wonder if anyone will ever cry with me, feeling the pain in my body and the loneliness I feel in the dark night.

"Start walking, Amber. We don't wanna stay here the whole day." someone shove me hard that I trip on my feet and fall on my left knee. I think his name is John.

'This is nothing, John. Slap that smirk out of your face.' I stand up again, not willing to appear more ridiculous and weaker than I already am.

I put my left foot forward and start dragging my feet to where my fate will bring me today.

And I wonder if anyone will ever come to save me.