Senile thoughts

Hello everyone. Sorry it hasn't been chapters for so long, pre-graduation studies are terribly brutal.

And I again wrote an unscheduled chapter, sorry, I was absorbed by the idea of developing the age of the protagonist. (This will be mentioned later, you will understand why I did it.)

I hope you will enjoy it.

Enjoy reading.

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Evening time, the sun slowly disappears and everything plunges into darkness and it happens beautifully. The sunsets below the horizon, and the rays follow it, slowly disappearing. Then everything is replaced by darkness, and only the moon, reflecting sunlight, illuminates the pitch darkness.

I've always liked the sunset, it's beautiful.

And now this is no exception. Sitting on a rock, I watch the rays of the sun slowly disappear behind the wall.

[It's a shame that I can't see the full sunset because of these walls, it's disappointing. ]

"Haa- Haa- ... God ... I'm going to die ... Bastard ... Stop looking at the sky and help me get up."

But the beautiful picture and the moments of peace were broken by a whining voice.

"You will get up yourself."

"Please help me, I can't feel my legs."

Yes, that's right, that whining voice came from Clem, who was lying on the ground and not moving.

Realizing that he would get me with his whining, I decided to help him and lifting him by the hands, but he still could not walk, therefore, I decided to carry him like a sack of potatoes.

"Thank you. Carry me to the well, my faithful horse. "

"Okay. I'll throw you down the well. "

"I beg your pardon, lord, I won't talk like that anymore. "

[How quickly this guy "changes his shoes".]

"And by the way. You don't see the limit at all? Why do you load your body so much? Because of this, you cannot move now. Thus, you will cripple yourself instead of getting stronger. "

"Well, I kept repeating after you. And, if you are so smart, you could stop me, and not look from the outside. "

"I tried, but you said, I quote:" Ha-ha. This workout is nothing to me, just watch and enjoy my magnificent. " Therefore, I did not interfere further. "

"I asked for mercy and tried to surrender. But you only threatened and forced me to continue. "

"I didn't want to interrupt your moment of fame and popularity."

"We are alone here, there are no women here. A moment of fame and popularity in front of whom? "

"In front of God."

"..."

Looks like my answer silenced him. His body even twitched a little.

[I wish I could see his face right now, it must look funny.]

While this little dialogue continued, I nevertheless approached the well and put "the bag of potatoes" on the ground.

As soon as Clem's body touched the ground, he ... immediately stood up and began to stretch the body

"???"

"Uh ~. Thanks for bringing me. It was so hard for me to move. "

"It would be better if I threw you into the well right away."

[Ugh. How embarrassing, the child-led me. Damn sly fox. But I really didn't notice anything. ]

"Don't scare me. Next time, when you are in a similar state, I will help you. In gratitude."

"You know perfectly well that this will not happen."

"That's the whole point."

After answering, Clem immediately began to wash his body and made it clear that he would not continue to speak.

[Here's a bastard. Why am I friends with him? A. Exactly, this is for the sake of profit. ]

Having created a suggestion about the reason for communicating with the bastard, I also began to wash the body. After spending a few minutes on this, we went to the hostel and on the way, Clem again decided to satisfy his curiosity.

"Listen. Why do you only teach me to use the sword? "

"You asked for it yourself."

[What a strange question. ]

"It's understandable, I know it myself, but I'm talking about something else. Why don't you teach me how to fight without a weapon or with another type of weapon? "

"You never asked for this, but I did not offer."

"And if I ask you, will you teach?"

"It is not hard. But can you handle the extra training? And additionally, I can only teach unarmed wrestling. "

"You doubt me? Such a magnificent and talented person like me is capable of anything. The point is different. Can you teach me? Before, you only taught me how to use the sword, and I have never seen you train without a weapon. "

"It's a challenge? The provocation will not work for me. I will teach you everything necessary but don't expect more, you cannot, your body will not stand it. And why do you want to learn how to fight from me, if we are taught this? "

"Hmm. Instructor Nel cannot explain properly, so I want you to help me, of course, not for free. And, I agree with your terms. "

"I agree, Nel is really useless in teaching. Okay, I'll decide everything depending on how you cope with the test set by me. "

Why did I agree to teach him the martial arts and why do I know them?

Well, there is no particular reason. And I studied martial arts in both lives. In the first one, I was taught by a master and I was trained for self-defense because I cannot carry a sword around the city, even if it is blunt. In my second life, my father taught me, he taught how to act if you were disarmed and how to attack.

I also got used to a free fighting style, that is, I do not restrain myself with the framework of a certain style, I combined everything possible and made a style suitable only for me. In short, I act and attack after analyzing the enemy, adjusting to him.

I have already taught Clem the basics of swordsmanship and the correct movements, it remains only to train the body, the rest depends on him. Also, teach him the basics, fight without weapons, this is not a problem. But will he cope? This is a different question.

Having finished cleansing the body, we immediately decided to return to our rooms. And since Clem's room is closer than mine, he said goodbye first, but right in front of the room he stopped and looked at me.

"Don't forget your promise to teach me how to fight unarmed."

"I'm not an old man to forget something the next day."

"Yes? But you always act like an old man. Ha-ha-ha. "

"..."

* Clap *

Without letting me say a word, Clem, continuing to laugh, quickly entered the room and closed the door. But I just froze, looking at the door.

*Sigh*

"Damn child… And why did his words hurt me? I am as if, felt an emptiness in my heart. "

It really hurt me a little, I even froze without words.

Although I do not have a midlife crisis, but because of the time I have lived and the experience of different situations, I really behave like an old man and because of this I have little contact with people.

I'm like a lonely old hermit, with whom only his grandson communicates and is annoyed by the street drunkard.

"Ugh ... What nonsense comes to mind."

[But still ... Why did I freeze and where does this emptiness in my heart come from? ... I already have a goal to become stronger. Then why? ... Why? ... Emptiness ... like I'm slowly drowning. ]

Grabbing the place on the body where the heart is located, I continued to plunge into the abyss of thoughts.

[Really such senile thoughts? … No… This is not true… This is something else… But I cannot understand.]

As I continued to swim in the sea of ​​thoughts and was about to drown completely in them, I heard the creak of floorboards, which brought me back from my thoughts. It was probably the observer who did the evening check.

Knowing that it is better for me not to meet him because I can get punished, I immediately tried to quickly leave and went into my room.

As I sat down on the bed, recent thoughts floated into my head.

"What was it? As if I have to understand something, but as soon as I grab onto it, it escapes me. "

As I continued to think time passed and the evening turned into night. Everything plunged into darkness and sitting in the dark, listening to the song of the crickets, I nevertheless came to a conclusion.

"Exactly ... I understood ... That is why I felt empty even when I had a goal. Indeed, only old people think about this. Young people rarely think about it. "

The conclusion that I came to, and what caused emptiness in me, was this: What should I do next?

Here, I have become stronger. Reached the goal. What should I do next?

After asking this question, emptiness reappears.

Yes, emptiness is caused by thoughts about the future, this is a sign of old age. It has always been my goal in both lives to improve my sword skills and become stronger.

But in my first life, I realized that I could not reach the peak of mastery and just tried to do my best.

In this life I have a healthy body, past life experience, and incredible abilities, I will definitely achieve my goals.

So where does this emptiness come from? On the contrary, I should be happy and strive to achieve goals, but instead, I think about the future and sink into despondency.

This is old age caused by the experience of many years and different situations. Young people try to live in the present, do not look too far into the future, but old people always think about what to do in old age. (this does not apply to moral freaks and those who ruined their own lives)

Will the old man grow flowers? Will he raise grandchildren? Or will he go to the resort?

There is a lot of time before death, the old man has outlived his. But what should he do next? How to get through the rest of your days? These thoughts always absorb older people, because they do not know what to do next when they have finished one thing and have free time.

And it was this feeling that came to me, I realized that I have an exact goal with an end result, but there is no secondary main goal that will act as the end, the goal with which I end my life.

*Sigh*

"Why am I thinking about this now? Clem always calls me an old man, but right now it hurt my anxiety. ... Yes, I probably always knew about it, but for some reason, I always rejected these thoughts. What end goal do I need? I do not understand."

But no matter how I think, nothing comes to my mind, and emptiness continues to remain in my heart.

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I hope you enjoyed it.

Many old people are worried about what to do when there is a lot of free time and they have almost lived their term.

I tried to add philosophy. Did I manage to convey this moment?

If you have any suggestions, suggest, if you have questions, ask. I'll consider everything.

Your support is important.