Chapter 12
_August 2007_
Suguru Geto:
..........
"Here we go!" Shoko says.
Amati holds a ball, Shoko a pen, and Geto an eraser.
They throw their items at Gojo and are surprised by what happens.
The pen and ball freeze, the eraser bounces off his infinity.
"Yep!" He grabs the pen in one hand, the ball and eraser in another. "It's working."
"What the heck was that?" Shoko demands.
"The targets for the Technique were selected automatically?" Geto asks.
"Yep!" Gojo smiles. "What I was doing manually is automatic now. I was able to sort the objects into dangerous levels by the amount of Cursed Energy. But now, I can also sort them by mass, speed and shape."
"Woah." Amati says, poking at his infinity. "Let's say if I threw something at you while you were asleep, it'd still repel it?"
"Yep."
"Ugh no fun."
"You'll fry your brain if you leave it always active." Shoko says.
"I'm simultaneously running a self-recovery reverse Jujutsu Technique. This way my brain will always stay fresh."
Geto doesn't her the rest of his words. Only one thing runs around in his brain.
Satoru has become "the strongest".
Alone.
"Suguru, did you lose weight?" Gojo asks as he approaches him. "Are you okay?"
He can complete any mission by himself.
Shoko doesn't usually go out on dangerous missions anyway.
And Amati is sent to many specific missions that need her Jujutsu only.
So Suguru has been spending more time alone... it can't be helped.
"It's just summer stress. I'm fine."
"Did you eat too much soumen?"
It's been a busy summer. Spirits were crawling around like bugs.
And Suguru just exorcised and ingested. Again and again.
Exorcised...
Ingested.
The taste of a Cursed Spirit that no one else knows, like swallowing a whole cloth that was used to wipe up vomit.
Exorcised.
Ingested.
And for who?
But the one phrase he heard from the bastard that started it all, tattoos itself in his brain.
"Lost to a monkey like me."
It kills him to know he's done all this.
For fucking monkeys.
..........
Amati Tanaka:
It's hard. When you spend your days waiting for him. When you count the minutes to finally see him again.
But.
When the moment comes, he leaves.
Again.
Again.
And again.
He doesn't even notice Amati staring at him as he leaves Satoru and goes inside.
She was about to follow, but decided against it.
She clenches her teeth. She doesn't even know anymore.
She doesn't know whether to give him some time alone, whether to be there for him. She doesn't know if he wants her, or if he wants her to keep giving him space.
She's talked to him so many times, tried to make him laugh, called him over, hugged him, sat with him... but never once did he actually look happy.
She notices Shoko and Gojo staring at her as she stares after Suguru.
She blinks and looks back at them, but before they could say a word, she turns around and leaves.
She walks towards the entrance of Jujutsu High and sits on one of the steps.
"This is fucked up." She sighs, watching birds fly past her.
She picks up her necklace from her chest and watches it shine in the sunlight. What can she do to help him?
She hugs her legs and rests her chin on her knees. A small cat approaches her, circling around her feet. It stays still for a while, testing Amati, but once it finds shes no threat, it lays down over her shoes.
"I envy you, little kitten." Amati tickles its ears. "At least you have no love problems."
Meow...
Amati looks at the kitten sadly. "What if it's because I'm a bad girlfriend?" She whispers to it. "What if it's because I don't know how to help him. Does that make me a good girlfriend? Of course no." She feels her eyes burning. "I try making him happy, but am I doing it wrong? Do I have a bad sense of fun? Does he need a different type of person?"
"He doesn't need anyone else, Amati. You are enough."
Amati doesn't look behind her to know it's Shoko. "Ha, you must be laughing at me for talking to a kitten."
Shoko sighs and sits beside her. "Don't pretend I didn't notice it, Ami. You and Geto haven't been hanging out much lately. And it's been like that ever since last year. But each day, I notice you parting further."
Amati looks away. "It's because I don't know how to help him out of his thoughts. Hell I don't even know what he thinks!" She buries her face in her arms.
Shoko puts a hand on Amati's shoulder. "You're not doing anything wrong. You're working really hard to make Suguru happy. You think I haven't noticed that either? But Suguru... I have no idea what he's thinking. But... I'm afraid it's too late to make him lose his thoughts."
Amati's stomach falls. "What do you mean too late?!" She looks at her friend. "I've been trying to make him move on for a year! What do you mean 'too late'?!"
"Ami. I know, but his thoughts were stronger than anything else. And all those days you hardly saw him, all those nights, his thoughts companied him and grew."
Amati says nothing and just stars at the kitten instead.
"But try more." Shoko says.
Amati glances at her.
"Go to him and keep asking. Try to make him tell you his thoughts. It might work if you don't give up."
Amati sighs through her nose and hugs her knees tighter. "I hope so."
..........
So Amati tried.
For so many days.
Yet, the same thing.
Even Amati noticed that her daily smile... faded away with each day she tried and failed.
It's sunset, the air cooling down slightly. Amati searches for Suguru almost everywhere in Jujutsu High, and finally finds him on the roof.
"Hi." She says, watching him stare into nothing.
"Hi." He says back.
When she sits beside him, he kisses her, but then goes back into staring.
But Amati was on the edge of her nerves. And she couldn't take it anymore.
"Tell me."
"Hmm?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her.
"I said, tell me." She faces him. "Ive waited long enough. I can't handle this anymore. I deserve to know. So do it. Tell me."
He frowns, confused.
"A whole fucking year has passed we both are now eighteen, and you barely looked at me. A year has passed and we hardly hung out together. I waited for you to get over it. I thought I should give you time alone. But I gave you enough, Suguru." Her voice cracks.
A pause. "What... what are you talking about?"
Huh?
Huh?
Alright. That's it.
She stands, towering over his sitting position. "WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? AND SO YOU ARE PRETENDING YOU DON'T KNOW?" She yells. Tears prick her eyes but she holds them back. Like always. "FUCK THIS ALL!"
"Amati—"
"No!" She puts a finger before her. "Listen to me." She takes a deep breath. "I know that what happened to Riko, and that battle with Toji, they hurt us all. I was almost killed. So was Gojo. I mean, we were supposed to have traumas after that, but instead it was you! All of us were effected by that event, but why was it you that got effected the most? What thoughts accompanied you after it?"
"Amati please—"
"I asked you once, and twice, three, four, ten, twenty times! I kept asking you to share your thoughts with me. I did my best to be there for you. But you never once let me inside you! Never once let me understand your thoughts. AM I THAT BAD OF A GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU?"
She didn't even feel the tears streaming down her face until it was too late.
"I wanted to make you happy! I made plans for us! I did everything I could to be the best for you, but you never showed me that you actually appreciated it. And you know the weird thing was? I never wanted your appreciation. I just wanted to see you happy. I wanted to see that I was good for you." She smiles painfully.
"Amati, I—no thats—"
"See?" Her lip quivers. "You keep denying it. You keep saying, no, no, no. You deny everything. You deny all truths. How am I supposed to know when your lying or not. You want to be alone? Fine. I tried! And I'm FUCKING TIRED OF TRYING!"
She blinks, more tears rolling down her cheeks, and she leaves, quickly.
And Suguru doesn't follow her.
..........
✨A/N:
y'all? even I can't bear my own self
I'm too heartbreaking for my own hearts sake
But you know who's more heartbreaking?
Yeah
💙AKUTAMI GEGE💙
LIKE TF PLEASE SENSEI! WE LOVE YOU AND UR WORK BUT STAWPPPP
THE PAIN U CAUSE US IS ILLEGAL 😭🤚🏻 but we are still alive I guess...
⭐️💬⬆️