Chapter 3:My Elf Life Taught Me, Robbery is Justice!

As I left the Academy, I thought about how bad the marriage of Sona and Matsuda was in that bizarre world.

He basically had two to three separate harems. My other life had wives that lived in other nations, but ultimately they all came to one home. One big happy harem.

No even that life's happy harem was unfair to the women I think, well looking at it from my human eyes. He and Matsuda, and even the Issei from the novel, just had too many women to love.

Honestly if I did not see many harems suffer, I too would have fallen into that trap. I know one would say, 'But I don't want to hurt their feelings', and that is true, for only a short while. But in the long-run, they get neglected, right?

Even in my dream life, those two girls kept me busy, and they had me henpecked. Now I realize now after both of those lives, I won't be falling for those girls again. They did not love me the way lovers should. I just had a Loli fetish, but that's gone now. Mostly gone now.

Anyway, back to my thoughts on the student council. Yeah, Matsuda neglected them a lot. He should have just stayed with the Gremory girls or the Sitri family, he was super greedy.

"Fuck and I never got the details, but how did Matsuda end up with like half of Risers fucking harem? And how the hell did he marry Grayfia? She is the wife of Sirzechs Lucifer?!"

So from what Matsuda's dad said, he must not be the reincarnation of Christ or what not?! That definitely was not in the anime or novel as well. Damn, what is the real story? Do I go by my bad dream I lived in or the memories I got from the Hypnosis App? Or, are they both wrong and I am FUBAR?!

"For now let's assume, I am in a completely unknown timeline or something, and not take everything at face value. But..."

I stopped in-front of the indoor-mall near the school. I look at it again and remember how this is the mall in the first Rating Game between Rias vs Sona. I also went on dates with my dream girlfriends here. I just smile and walk inside to start my shopping.

"Well I finished all three years of high-school in my dream at Kuoh Academy, plus I have Earth memories from that Elf Kris. And since I don't have the Devil Tongue ability to speak languages, the fact I am now fluent in English will be great! Oh and it's useless here on Earth, but I also speak the language from the planet Gaia, he-he!"

Crap! I was saying that shit out loud again! Actually the Gaia language would be good for writing notes, so no one can copy me at school, so Matsuda and Issei will stop asking me for my books!

Yes out of the three of us, I happen to be the best at schoolwork. Sadly I won't be beating Sona in any chess games in this lifetime, so my Sitri route is out of the question.

Damn, Sona made it impossible for me to pursue her even if I wanted to, no I won't be a Saji and get cuckold by the first transmigrator with a chess cheat. I think that's how Matsuda snagged her in that dream.

Even Issei in the novel got hit on by Sona, but he was to fucking dense to notice. Fuck I will never help those two fuck-tards with their love lives, why?

In my dream, both of my friends had big harems, and they never once hooked me up! Even with the two girlfriends I had, I got on my own. And don't count those super hot dancers from Fallen Angels, they did not stay with me like they did with Issei, sigh. Yes, I am bitter. But it was a dream so I wont hold a grudge, much.

My first stop is the used bookstore. Yeah, I don't have infinite money like on Gaia. So I have to watch how much Yen I spend here.

I don't even have to check my school list and grab all the subjects I will need. It is nice that I have read all of them already, but I will not slack and make sure I do better in school.

As I was paying for my books I saw three girls walk in together. They were ones I knew all too well... Murayama Mai, Katase Sakura, and Aika Kiryuu.

Seeing me, the three just ignore me, due to my bad reputation in middle-school. But now that I think about it, I think a bad reputation will let me avoid wanting a large harem, hmm, I am smart. So I guess, I will have to keep up the fun of being in the Perverted Trio!

"Aw, he is undressing me with that perverted face!"

"You're right Kat, he is creepy."

Aika then adds with them.

"Worst of all, he is coming to our school. He and the other two ass-holes passed the tests, sigh."

With my books in hand I grin and tell the three girls.

"Since we are all good friends, I will let you in on good advice. Wear sexy-underwear, so when Matsuda takes pictures of you they will make you look good, he-he! See you ripe things in school, he-he!"

"Pervert!" "Scumbag!" "That's actually good advice!"

Trip! As I stumbled at Aika's words all the girls laughed at me. Alright, now I can end that harem-route too! This is how to kill love-struck fools in a harem-anime!

I was feeling hungry, so I went to the food-court on the second floor.

I went to the Mcdonalds and got a Big Mac combo meal, and sat at a table.

I decided to look at some other models of smartphones and see if any phone I use, or just this one will work. Is the power in the Sim-card or the phone, or any phone I use?!

The mall is super busy with students buying everything they need for next week.

I finish fast to make room for others, and continue with my purchases. I went to the far end of the general store to buy the rest of what I needed.

Normally I would stop at the arcade and the naughty-magazine store, but I just don't need that. So I will save that for when I have to be with Issei and Matsuda.

Now that I am done with the shopping in the mall, it is time to order glasses. So I exit to walk to the shop.

After I pass some stores I see an interesting sight.

I see one of the girls from the Tennis club, a second year girl named Kiyome Abe.

In my dream, she was one of Issei's harem members, but in the light-novel, she was the one girl Issei did not pursue in his harem?! I don't get it. Well she was not in the anime as well. She is like a brown haired Rias, with curls in her hair.

But what makes seeing her interesting is not her hot-body, but the three university students with a thuggish look, trying to get her to go into the alley with them, cliche, right?!

I am going to get some cash, I meant save the day! Okay the Elf Kris's memories are making me want to rob these motherfuckers! Fuck am I going to be a bandit?!

I stand at the alley they are trying to get her into and I point my thumb in there and say to the stunned older guys.

"Hey dick-breaths, instead of fucking that hot-girl, come and fuck me up, if you cunts think you can, ha-ha!"

Yeah I normally never talk like this, but the fantasy-elf Kris, was a damn asshole to his enemies, sigh.

And like I thought the 3 guys came running in wanting to show how tough they are to beat up a young guy, to impress the girl they wanted to violate.

I already had my smartphone ready with my hypnosis App aimed at the nut-bags rushing me, so I pressed Red to Green, he-he! Just like the old days.

The three guys had stopped with vacant eyes ready to take my orders, so I was kind and gave them some.

"Give me all your cash, that's right hurry, now I want all three of you to start beating the hell out of each other but don't kill each other, now hurry!"

I watched the charge on my phone because I am not stupid, as stupid as my memories said I was.

After a few minutes, they are full of busted-lips, and black-eyes, and yeah they got kicked in the balls, ouch! I finally turned off the App.

As the three university students cried on the ground not knowing how they got so fucked up I stood over them and said.

"Never mess with me, the great Kiba Yuuto again! Got it fuckers, spit."

I walked out of the alley whistling a Final Fantasy victory song and waved at the stunned Tennis chick that had come to see if I needed help. I just walked off into the sunset. Oh never-mind it's only 2:30 so the sun is still up, but you feel me, right?

After seeing the three thugs barely moving down the alley, the girl called out to me.

"Hey, thank you, my name is Kiyome Abe, what's yours?"

I stop, looking back at her, and even though she is hot as hell, I am not going to pursue her, so I lick my lips lecherously staring at her enormous tits and say.

"If you want to reward me, then I like going bareback if you know what I mean, he-he! Oh and my name is Issei Hyoudou! Remember it, especially if you want some babies, bye-bye!"

Fuck you harem-anime-world! I am the grand-master at chasing hot chicks away, I am the great Motohama!

I finally made it to the glasses shop I come to regularly, thanks to face slaps. I put in an order for some nice lightweight pairs and one nice pair of sunglasses.

So while I am getting sized, let's talk about my absolutely useless scouter power this world gave me. Yes, I actually have a gift that lets me accurately tell the three sizes of women's breast, waist, and hips. What the actual fuck! This is worse than fucking [Dress Break] that Issei invented!

That pervert girl Aika from the book store can tell all the statistics of a man's junk too. Sadly I am just barely above average, not enough for a woman to hate it but not enough for my Porn-star lover's hole!

The worst part of my Elf life had a nice one, but here I am with just reaching 6ish inches. Yeah, I can't be a harem-lord with that.

But in my defense, I am big for a Japanese man! But this is the body I got so I will really focus on my amazing techniques and skills honed with over 26 wives, and nearly a 100 years of daily sex! I can make the Angel Gabriel cum with only one finger!

The best skill I got from the transplanted memories is hands down my ability to [Mofu Mofu] and make any animal-girl want my babies, he-he! Yeah if it's soft and fluffy, my hands are a lethal weapon, he-he!

On my way home I stopped at the Raynare-fountain. This park is really beautiful. I went and sat on a bench to listen to the water. This place is very soothing to my soul.

While I was looking at my phone and taking pictures of the fountain, I saw something unexpected. A brown blur leaped on me knocking off my glasses.

Lick, lick, lick. Mofu Mofu! And just like that, a nostalgic feeling hit me. I instinctively knew who and what was assaulting me! It's got to be Precious!

In that nightmare world I died in, this was the dog Precious that's one of the largest Mastiffs any of us had ever seen, think from the movie [Turner and Hooch] but bigger! This female dog was so cute, but she had the habit of pushing me down just like she is doing now.

The only problem with this dog is its owner. Yeah, she too was one of Matsuda's wives, she was the Fallen Angel Kalawarna, and somehow he turned her into an Angel.

But in my transplanted memories of the anime, she dies trying to work on getting Sacred Gears from humans, sigh. Having two sets of memories to work with is tough, but this dog was not in the anime.

However in this life, my skill with the Mofu Mofu has given me the advantage over this dog that's probably bigger than me, and now I got her on her back with belly rubs! I also recovered my glasses and can see this silly dog.

"Ah, who's a good girl! That's right you're still just a puppy, such a good girl, ha-ha, now who is the Alpha!"

I was dumb and did not look for the owner I thought of, and a sexy-smoky voice entered my ears.

"There you are, Precious! Oh, how did you do that? She never listens normally?"

Fuck it really is her! My face only froze for an instant while my Elf life's memories gave me the nerves to handle adversity.

"It's nothing really, it's knowing what the animal wants emotionally. This adorable Mastiff you called Precious, is just an excited puppy. She needs lots of belly rubs like this and rub her ears like this."

Mofu Mofu! The moment I started on her ears, her legs went wild. Well in the dream I used to play with this dog a lot at Matsuda's mansion, not to mention my skill, thankfully I cannot talk to animals or this dog would kill me.

"Also miss, you need to change her dog food, so she will eat less and be healthier. She will like xxx brand dog-food the best."

"My name is Kala, what's yours kid?"

What?! She did not call herself Karen? She told me her Fallen Angel name, well technically only the first part.

"Hello miss Kala, you can just call me Motohama Ryu, a first-year. Well I think this is enough playtime, Precious."

I stand and look at this tall woman who is 5 feet 9 inches not including her heels. She is wearing a maroon-leather-outfit that screams I am a stripper. Her hair is long and navy-blue in color. She is absolutely one of the hottest women in the world.

And she also looks like the Kitsune wife I had in that other world, sigh, Vivian.

"That's a first!"

"Sorry Kala I don't understand?"

She leashed up her dog and told me. If this story is on any-other site than Scribble Hub, then it was stolen without permission!

"Normally when they look at me, they get that lust look in their eyes, but you seem to be thinking of another woman looking at me, or you're gay, one of those, ha-ha."

I rolled my eyes at her and walked away while I said.

"Definitely not gay, I just know my own ability, nice meeting you, have a good time in Kuoh!"

I can't be rude to her or she will just kill me with a light lance, yeah lets avoid her too!