Chapter 8 : Victor

She was going to take Bill back. He was there for her when I was not. That is why she never sent him away when he would sit on her porch night after night to watch over her.

She wanted him there. She needed him there because she couldn't depend on me.

Stiffly, I walked her to my office. She went to sit on the couch as I closed the door behind us. I closed it a little harder than I should have. She looked surprised.

"It slipped," was all that I could think to say. Even though I was upset and tense, I never let it show.

I propped my feet upon my desk as I leaned my chair back and interlaced my hands behind my head. I waited for her to speak.

Looking around the office, she said, "I love what you've done to the walls. The holes make the room look bigger, more spacious." She held her head down as to hide a smile.

"I'm redecorating," I said. She laughed. I did my best not to laugh but I failed.

Finally, things started to get serious.

"Eric, there's something that I need to tell you."

She looked down at her hands nervously. I could smell it in the air. She was afraid of me.

I have never wanted her to be afraid of me but after what I'd done to her, what else could I possibly expect?

She was afraid of how I was going to react to what she was going to say. She was going to leave me.

I was wrong; I shouldn't have done that to you. I needed to tell her.

"Sookie, I need to apologize to you."

Her hand went up quickly. "I need to say this and you need to listen." She scooted to the edge of the couch and looked at me. "

Since the first time we've met, we've had problems. The first problem is that I let Bill claim me as his when I wasn't. I love Bill but it was a mistake.

He wasn't what I believed him to be. Bill abandoned me in Dallas but not you. You stayed with me.

"When Bill left me for Lorena, you knew it but you protected me from the truth as much as you could.You lost your memories and we were together …and I loved it. You stayed with me and you loved me when you weren't you. You got your memories and then forgot about me. I didn't help matters any because I wouldn't tell you what you deserved to know about the time we'd spent together. I was being selfish. When I finally told you about our time as a couple and you still did not come back to me.I moved on because I assumed that you had. I moved on to Quinn …another mistake."

She sighed when she said that.Big mistake; I didn't say it out loud.

"Once again, you saved me. That time, we were in New Orleans and you saved me from the Weres. Then our bond became stronger. You and I had our most crucial blood exchange in Rhodes.

Then we had to deal with Victor. That same night you recovered your memories on your own; you remembered where I kept my gun.

After Victor left, you went into my bedroom and you remember everything we'd done and what we meant to each other.

Before you left that night, you said to me that we would pick up from there. It took forever for us to pick up from there. I was lonely."

A sad look came over her face before she began speaking again.

"And then I finally got you back. That was the happiest night of my life. Then along came the fairies; the dreaded fairies.

You saved me yet again and I was happy… or so I thought. Just so long as I had you, I was happy.

I was so happy that I was confused. I assumed that you were making me feel what I was feeling.

It was easier for me to say that it was you making me feel what I was feeling instead of facing the truth.

So, I broke the bond. I would love to blame it all on Amelia but it was my decision. It was my fault. I made the choice.

Then you told me, against your will I might add, that you have to marry another.

You assumed that it would not hurt me if you had to marry somebody else since I always fought you on being called your wife.

Well, it did hurt me. It does hurt me because you are mine."

I could tell that she was sincere in everything that she was saying. Her body language was telling me all that I needed to know. I wished so much that I could feel it. I wished that I could feel her.

"Then we killed Victor. Things happened that night that we can't take back." Absently, she touched her neck.

She then looked at me and said, "But it's over and done with. Well, until we have to meet with Felipe." She shrugged her shoulders as if it was okay.

Really … Was she serious?

She patted the seat beside her. Instantly, I was at her side. She took my hand into her own and held it tightly.

"I've made mistakes, Eric; many, many mistakes. I'm not going to make those same mistakes anymore.I need to make changes in my life. I need to take control of my life. I need to live for me. I need to be happy. I want to be happy."

My face was stone. My eyes filled with fury; icy fury. Sookie tried to ease my feelings because she placed her hand on my cheek.

"What are you saying Sookie?" I put my hand over hers and held it closer to my face. Over and over in my mind I kept saying 'Please don't let me be one of those changes'.

"I've sold my house and I've given Sam my two weeks' notice. Well, I gave him the notice a few of days after we killed Victor."