In my own thoughts

Life, they say has no meaning if money is not involved, my name is Daniel, I just want to be alone.

I have come to realize that sometimes the way we plan stuff, don't really go our way, I believe everyone has that feeling.

Am at home all alone when mom came inside,. " Daniel you have been inside, since you came back from school what's wrong with you are you okay??? She said coming closer.

Mom am okay, I just want to stay indoors today, ok that's no problem but make sure you come down for dinner okay, "yes mom I will, Then she left.

I believe dreams are one of the best place to feel you, when you are asleep, you will go to another world full of wonders.

 Yesterday I dreamt of seeing someone I have never met before, she's beautiful than anyone have met before, I don't know why I got that dream but, I have never fall in love before and I don't know how it feels to be in love. Yea there was a time a girl from our neighborhood said she loves me, I collected her number but before you knew it I got no feelings again in me, I think love is just perfect when one is dreaming.

 Like the girl I saw in mine l, she wore a gown that made her look like a bride to be, she called my name and kissed me on my head, she said we would meet, and when we do we will be with each other, what a dream.

I have been hearing stories of love, some people getting married happily but later turns to sadness, why some marries out of sadness but later turns to happiness.

 Some woul say life isn't balance, some would say life is worthless, "but I would say life isn't that balance to not give you a change." 

 Life always give one a chance, it's just you that will try to use it well, just like a rich man, having so much more and he used them up on girls and drugs. Then later when it finish he will say life is not balance, or life is wicked.

 But he had forgotten that it's gave hime a chance earlier and he did not utilize it well.

Am just on my bed with my headset on listing to "Johnny drile" (Romeo and Juliet) this song is really something else, it's saying love has a chance if you just be the one for me.

 I feel there is that right person for you, that will make you complete, in the Christian Bible God said he made woman out of a man ribs, so that means with out that ribs he his incomplete but when she his with him, he will be complete, that's why you will see some. short, fat, slim, beautiful, ugly, dark, fair, have have this, have that, long nose, and all that and you will think, one is better than another, whereas God knows what he his doing, you just need to find that person but not the perfect cuz no such thing like perfect, you guys and be perfect together.

To escape from everything, I love staying indoors, because it feels save and lovely in here, yea I don't have any friends. 

 I once had a friend named Mike, Mike a great guy, love going outdoors, he his a kind of outdoor guy but that not what I like, so I just one day dont visit or call my friend anymore,my mom have try to take me for therapy, but I always decline, i really don't like going their.

Money is one of the greatest issue here with my family, we are not poor persay but we are not rich, everyday I always see my mom struggling with financial issue.

 My dad is never around, yea he is trying but he should try, better sometimes I just cry everyday, when will all this suffering end, my mom and dad don't know what is going on.

I just borrowed money from a loan app and now I can't find a way to pay back and they are just calling and threatening me, they are just trying to make we unhappy the more, how would I pay, it's not like I don't want to pay, but no money, I can't tell my mom about this, she will be really heart broken and want to help, which will make her start thinking.

 I know that one day all this will be over, things are really hard in here, one would think that this is the end but I know that someday, one day, things will be alright.

 We where not poor like this before,still they fired my dad, and my mom now took all the responsibility, she is really trying to feed and send us all to school, sometimes she will walk for many miles, just toget to the place she works,life is just trickish,one day you be alright another day you will be sad.

Am sad, am really sad, this song my Sasha slohan (to sad to cry)is really nice I don't think I can cry any more again,someone please just help me, I don't want to die in silence 😭.