Part 6.4

Getting the nice coat off of Zumberbatch was about as difficult as skinning a cat. I've done that before with cat like things, and that one dead prisoner who was a cat man. The guards gave me an extra ration of glop as a kid when I did that for them.

Once I had the coat off of Zumberbatch I was faced with the problem of what to do with it. I already had my nice striped vest and I didn't want to exchange it for the coat. So when I was faced with this dilemma I did the logical thing.

I turned to the crew, held the coat up in the air, and loudly asked them, "Who wants it?"

Most of the crew immediately reacted to my question but one tanned man in front of the crowd wearing a white shirt and yellow sash quickly put both his hands in the air. Then he began to jump up and down, probably so I would notice him. And notice him I did.

I enjoyed his enthusiasm so much that I toss him the coat. He grabs it and gives a sloppy bow, "Thank you Captain!" Then he puts the coat on. Just not in the way I expected.

Instead of putting the coat on like everyone else would he does something completely different. He cleverly folds the coat into one long strip of cloth. Then he begins to wrap it around his head. What was once a nice coat transforms into the swankiest gold and green turban I have ever seen. The gold buttons of the coat line up the front of the turban and the gold gilding give the whole thing a striped texture.

I'm not going to lie. It looks really good on him and I'm a little jealous. I used to wear turbans made from ripped up pants back when I was on Level Three. I couldn't pull the look off now. I have on my vest with a hood. A hood and a turban don't work together. That's just common sense.

I call out to the man, "What's your name?"

He snaps another sloppy salute. "My name is Snackbar captain! It is an honor to work alongside you Captain!"

Snackbar? That's a weird name. Then again my name is 10013 so I guess I'm not one to judge.

Back on track. Zumberbatch is now down one coat and now everyone can see his frilly shirt. He's shivering, possibly shivering in fear but maybe he just has a weak constitution. I grumble out, "Well that was an uneven trade. You still owe me for me letting you keep your life. The cost of your coat doesn't even come close. I guess we'll have to take more from you. Just to make it fair of course."

Someone in the crew begins to chant, "Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!"

The rest of the crew joins the chant, and then Zumberbatch begins to cry. He cries like an old man. Or as Kuzric would say, he's crying like a little bitch.

Ten minutes later some of the crew are at least 30% fancier or more and Zumberbatch is in his underwear. The only thing I kept for myself was a shiny brass pocket watch. Wait... It's actually gold. My bad.

I sigh and shake my head side to side as I look at him. "Tch tch tch. It looks like you still haven't payed me back for me letting you keep your life. On top of that you're all out of valuables.

Now the Lord looks like he's about to soil himself. "Please don't kill me! I have a wife and son!"

My hand is large enough and his neck is small enough where I can wrap my entire fist around it. I lift him up and bring him close to my face. "I don't care about you, your wife, or your son. You telling me that you have a family isn't going to suddenly change my opinion about anything at all. Right now all I want to do is be properly paid for letting you keep your life. However it looks like you'll be unable to pay me enough. So I guess I'll have to take your life away."

I begin to squeeze and his eyes bulge out of his head as his weak fingers desperately try to pry my hands away so he can breath again. I don't know why he's overeating so much. I've been almost choked to death plenty of times and I didn't cry even a fraction of the amount that Zumberbatch is. I also didn't soil myself, like he just has. I almost consider letting him go because of how gross that is, but I remind myself about why I'm continuing to do this and keep on squeezing.

It's all part of the plan.

Klahadore speaks up at this point, as planned, and says, "Perhaps there is something else he can pay us back with Captain?"

I drop Zumberbatch and turn to the self proclaimed butler. "Really? Well I'm all ears Klahadore. What else could he possibly have to pay us back in that I can't take myself?"

"Information sir."

Zumberbatch picks himself off the floor and has the most relived expression on his face that I have ever seen. It's ruined slightly by the snot running down his face and his soiled underwear however.

"Yes! Information! Anything you need to know! Anything at all just ask and I'll tell you everything."

I step on one of his hands with my iron boots. While he squirms and cries I tell him, "I don't need to know much. Just some directions and names... The names of the ruling council of lords yah talked about and directions to where they live. Where you're militia is based would be appreciated as well. That should cover the cost of your life by my reckoning."

Zumberbatch definitely looks alarmed. I'm not all that good at expressions, but he is alarmed. "You want me to betray my comrades! What do you have planned?"

I apply more pressure on his hand under my boot until I hear something crunch and Zumberbatch howls in pain. "I don't want you to betray anybody. I just want some information is all. I have piratey things planned of course."

The crew begins to chuckle as I say, "Talk is cheap so you're getting a good deal for your life. But time is precious, especially mine, so you better start."