Chapter VIII

The bus had just stopped. I immediately picked up my purse and hopped out of it. I walked down to the corner of the block and waited for the lights to turn green. As I waited there, people standing beside me tried to speculate my situation. I'm in the total zone out right now. I can only think of sleeping on my couch, staring at the bottom of the darkest abyss. The night gives me the event that I never expected. Tears were already gone on my cheeks as I crossed the pedestrian but I can feel the fresh tracks of it still lingers like a sticker. I remove my heels soon after I turn left at the next block.

He shouldn't have seen me like that. He shouldn't have seen me in tears. No one should. I imaginably mumble in my mind.

"I'm a criminal", I whispered between my lips. I repeat it a few many times without forgetting why.

I hear my phone ring inside my purse. I didn't even bother to look at who's calling. I assume it's Reighly. I never told her that I left, so, it must be Dylan who told her about what happened. I thought I had already forgotten. I thought there's forgiveness. I thought my running would take me somewhere. Somewhere where I could forget everything. Everything that happened. I was wrong, there were no triumphs of my running. Nothing. Even the ghost of hunting knows there will never be. Never be a place of peace for my apologies. I killed him.

I was pushed back in my pace. Suspended for a second but never forgot to keep walking. I heard him say, instead of apologies it was a curse from the man who bumped me, "You should watch where you're going, bitch". His round and deep voice was everywhere. Even in the smallest crevice of the broken pavement of the sidewalk. "Such a pity", he followed.

"I'm a criminal", I once again mutter without looking back nor forgetting the reason for it.

Another ring. I look at it. It came from my purse again. It came across to me to look down and see the ground. There's a color of crimson. For every thump of my feet in the pavement I can feel the different texture, the pain, the temperature of where I stand. Sometimes it's cold, sometimes it's rough, sometimes it's wet, and above all sometimes it's in so much pain.

I revolve the doorknob of my apartment building. I heard a call not so far from where I stand. My name was spoken. By who?

"Karrole!", said the man.

I even opened the door and closed it. Straight to the staircase.

"Karrole!" the face of Dylan's already in front of me staring. I looked at his arms, it was holding both of my shoulders. I tried to remove it but he eventually carried me upstairs. My eyes caught the level ground floor. Fresh footprints of blood can be seen. I immediately felt dizzy.

"What's happening?", I whispered. I've seen the face of Dylan. He's horrified. Why?

I never catch what he said when everything went black and I lost consciousness.

I woke up suddenly in pain. I look outside my window and it's still dark. The clock says 2:47 am. I capped my head to ease the pain from it. As I move my feet much pain erupts from it. What happened? My bedroom door suddenly opens and a figure of a man enters.

"W-who are?", I tremble as I speak. I immediately look at my surroundings. I'm pretty sure I'm in my apartment. Who is this man anyway?

He put down something on my bedside table and sat beside me. The lights from the shade reveal the identity of the man, "Relax, it's me Dylan", he said blandly. He is till in his tuxedo but minus his suit jacket. I look at mine, I'm still with my dress that I use in the party. I approach him the moment I see red in his white sleeves.

"What's this?", I asked. He watches the area where I pointed out.

"Well, that's yours", he answered.

"What's mine?"

"Your blood".

I paused for a second then eventually remembered that I'd seen blood on the ground floor before I passed out.

"You mean-". He uncovers my lower part from the blanket and it reveals my feet in full bandages. Now it answers why I have so much pain in there.

"It turns out you step on a broken glass on your way to your apartment", he stands while I sit right up from my bed, "I've removed the pieces myself and treated the open wound".

I never felt so owed before. "T-thanks", I said.

He looked at me worried. I know he had something to say. Then, he blurted out, "Did you know how dangerous that was?", I was surprised with the tone he used. I never heard him saying things to me with that tone. "You walked as if you were unhurt", he shouted.

Even though I should feel shame and guilt, I never felt so much anger and disappointment inside of me before.

"I will forget you said that to me. I've already said my thanks. You can now leave", I grunt and look at the other side of the room.

"That. That's the attitude you're giving me right now?", there's disappointment in his voice. "After what happens to you?".

I sharply look at him, "I never asked you to be here. I never wanted help and you should know that", I firmly said to his face.

He sighed. There's a long pause, "Fine, I'll leave, that's what you want right? After, after everything I did because you have those little pride in you that can't even say a sincere gratitude to the person who saved your life". He's about to walk out.

"You have no right saying that to me", I said between my broken voice.

He stopped and turned around, "So, tell me Karrole, what are my rights as the one who saves you?".

"You never", I burst out crying, "You never save someone. Never". I covered my face with my palm and continued crying but I eventually removed it and looked at him. "You can't dash it to my face that you save me because I know you can't". "Just because you save just a fragment of their life that you end up saying you save them but when in fact you haven't. Never. Because there's a lot more saving from what's beneath than what you can see". As I shouted those words I saw how shocked he was.

"This pride I have right now, this pride that you are so eager to shatter piece by piece, is the only thing that protects me. So, don't ever speak to me like you even know me because you will never know what's beneath of everything", I paused to subside my anger, "Now, LEAVE", I firmly utter.

He took a moment before he finally walked out of the door. After I felt he left the apartment, I burst into tears due to frustration and confusion, not with anger and disappointment anymore.

Morning came but I never slept. My thoughts keep me awake 'till 7:36 in the morning. A slam of a door emerges and a voice of Reighly follows it.

"Karrole?", she said the moment she stepped foot in my bedroom where I am. I stared at her. Drought of tears from crying this early morning. She hugged me immediately and said comforting words to me.

"What happened?", she asked. Even if I wanted to tell her the whole story I still can't. Not in this situation that I'm confused. I shake my head for an answer. She received it and accepted it. I can't tell her right now.

"Just go back to sleep. I'll tell the theater later you can't work for today", she said and let me lie down.

"Thanks", I said and went back to sleep.

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"She's asleep at this moment. She's probably exhausted. Can you tell me what actually happened the other night?", Reighly asked. The recollection of the events of the night playback in my head. The look of Caroll walking on the sidewalk with blood in his feet and her words to me in her room. It gives me shock at how deep that was. "Dylan? Are you okay?", she tapped me on my shoulder.

We are outside Karrole's apartment because I want to respect Karrole's decision. I know I went overboard at what I said last night and she deserves an apology, but not right now.

"I followed her last night because he left the party in tears".

"Why?"

"I don't know"

"Did something happen before that?"

"I was actually talking to her right before she went into tears, just for a reason to apologize to her but then suddenly he stares at me for the longest time and I never expected her to be in tears", I paused.

"Then you follow her?".

"Yes, she was wounded when I found her in front of her apartment", Reighly was shocked after I shared it with her.

"What? Why is she wounded? Is she stabbed?", Reighly worriedly said.

"No, no, she wasn't stabbed. She was wounded because she removed her heels while she walked down the sidewalk. A broken glass penetrated her feet while she's in her way to her apartment".

"Oh my—", Reighly's in disbelief.

"It's okay. Everything was alright, I already removed and treated her wounds as soon as we arrived at her apartment".

"Oh! Thank goodness", Reighly sighed in relief and nervous for her.

I wanted to apologize to Caroll myself but I'm afraid that there's no chance. Reighly look at me, "But—" she looks confused, "We had a fight during that early morning. I might have said something that triggered her and I actually wanted to apologize but, I don't think I had the chance after what she said. She said she doesn't want to see me", I shared.

"She said that?"

I nodded.

"I actually wanted her to know how deeply sorry I am for the words I said that hurt her. I actually didn't mean any of it and if she really doesn't want me I can accept that", my last words before finally leaving her apartment building.

I can see sympathy from the looks of Reighly, "I understand. I will relay it to her as soon she wakes up", she confirmed.

"Thank you so much Reighly", I turn around to the left.

"Just don't take it seriously Dylan. I know there's a reason why she said it", Reighly spoke before I finally left.

"I know", then I left her and started walking away.

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I woke up hearing someone knocking on my door. The voice of Peter can be heard from the outside. There's a creak of the door's opening and the voice of Peter was vividly echoing outside my apartment bedroom's door.

"She's inside", I heard Reighly say.

"Is she okay?" Peter asked with his British accent and the worriedness in his voice could be heard even though there's a wall between. There's a short silence outside but it was followed by a gentle closing of the door.

I contemplated his question at my bed. Am I really okay? I said to myself.

Yesterday, I was pretty rough on Dylan. Putting him into an uncomfortable position that he doesn't even deserve to be. I just shouted at him, blaming him for something he didn't do.

I push my forehead with my palm, squeezing my head pillow. "I should apologize. Immediately", I said after I sigh. I remember I have wounds in the sole of my feet due to yesterday. I probably will never walk for the next few weeks and I will likely be staying here.

The door of my bedroom suddenly swung open. I look at it. Reighly and Peter entered. Peter immediately ran to my bedside and sat on it after finding me there.

"Karrole, I'm so sorry I wasn't here to take care of you. I was worried yesterday when I couldn't find you in the hall", he was terrified.

Terrified, why terrified? I said in my head. This is news to me. I never knew Peter had this much concern about my wellbeing. He barely knew me and I to him so where are these concerns coming from?

"I'm alright. It didn't look so bad", I politely answered him even though it was. I felt weird when he caressed my left hand and planted a kiss on it. I immediately look at Reighly. She was also confused and chuckled silently at her place. I quickly remove my hand and put it down my lap.

"Look Peter, I'm so sorry if I didn't inform you that night that I would leave early. I am really---", I never got to finish my sentences when he interrupted me.

"No, no. I was already informed by Reighly what happened. I actually worried because I also ate shellfish yesterday so I thought I might become sick too", he explained. I immediately look at him.

"Shellfish?", I asked confusedly.

"Yeah, Reighly just told me you left yesterday because you were sick. She said, "She escorted you back here in your apartment since she found you can't stop throwing up yesterday and I thought the shellfish might be the cause of it".

I quickly look at Reighly. She wasn't in her position anymore. I smile at Peter ridiculously.

"Y-Yeah, that. I- apologize. It wasn't the shellfish though", I just said and went with his explanation.

Now, I know why he was so concerned. It wasn't concerned by the way that he used it earlier, it was worried in his voice all along. I surely read it the wrong way.

"So, what are you doing tonight?"he asked joyfully and stood up from my bed.

"Nothing", I answered. I immediately covered my exposed feet that were full of bandages.

"I actually wanted to invite you to join me for dinner. It was in a fine restaurant and a friend of mine owns it", he said.

I look at my feet. In this condition, the answer 'yes' is not included in any options right now. I will be dead just by going out from this room to the living room.

"I'm so sorry Peter, that invitation was lovely, but I think I should probably rest for a while. I can't risk something that is unsure right now, just like my health", I said to him.

His face immediately changed to dismay, "But, there are other times", I assure him.

"You're right", he said and put both hands on his waist. Suddenly, a ringtone emerges from his pocket. He immediately excused himself and left my room to take the call that he got. Before he even got out, Reighly entered my room.

"What's with the shellfish? The guy literally was worried", I ask Reighly. She definitely chuckled.

She stands at the foot of my bed and then sighs. I can see she was worried. "I know what happened was difficult for you but, I just want you to know that I will always be here if you need help. Even though I badly wanted to know what happened I'm not in the position to add stress to your situation right now. And, by the way, what actually happened with you and Dylan I'm sure he didn't mean it", she sincerely said and then walked towards my left side and held my hands.

"This is not the first time, I know you can overcome this", after that she hugged me.

Reighly knows me very well. She witnessed every struggle I have, every breakdown and every hurtful night that passed in my life. She always comforts me with everything that she can. I just really wish that I could tell her what really happened that night. What really happened at the moment of the accident. I was the one who caused my father's demise. I was the one that put my father on his last breath. I left him there to die. I'm a criminal.