Conception

School was flying by in a blur and I was managing to keep my grades up. Spending most of my free time with Ella, Mari, and now Kyle. Hanging out with Kyle has been amazing, he's funny, witty, and knows just how to keep me in the present. I don't know when it changed from us just hanging out to us dating but it did. Eventually, he would sling his arm around my shoulders and hold my hands. Before I knew it, it was almost Thanksgiving. The one thing I couldn't tell him though was that I was still dreaming of Sebastian.

Walking into my bedroom after a particularly fun evening with Kyle at the diner, I get ready for bed. Putting on my white corset and matching booty shorts, I fluff out my hair a bit just the way Sebastian likes it. Laying down on top of the covers I close my eyes getting ready to dream date the man of my dreams. Feeling the heaviness of my sleep seep into my bones until it settles over me like a comforting blanket carrying me into a soothing void. I can feel him appear just like every other night. My eyes fly open as I launch myself into his arms, kissing his pouting lips.

"What's wrong my love?" I look down at myself and have to wonder if it is me he is not pleased with "do you not like what I'm wearing?" I whisper out insecurity evident in my words.

"I love your outfit Principessa. I do not love that you are still dating this Kyle fellow." He glares at me.

"Sebastian you know I have, had to get over you in the real world. Kyle and I we are just having fun. We haven't even kissed yet."

"yet!" realizing my mistake I quickly back peddle

"As in I am not ready to kiss him. I am only okay with kissing you and I don't want to stop kissing you. Ever." Punctuating my statement with kisses to his jawline, nose, then finally his still pouting lips. "Please can we not let him spoil our evening together?" I beg as I kneel before him, my fingers at the top of his buttons ready to tear through them at any second. My body craving his touch, the feel of him on me, in me. Kissing his exposed neck, I can feel my want turn into an urgent need. I want him to feel it too, to feel how badly I need him, to want me with the same fierceness that I feel. Undressing him I kiss every square inch of skin I expose letting my tongue slip out and taste him here and there, enjoying the sensation of him shiver beneath my touch. My hands slip beneath the waist band of his pants feeling his hard-smooth cock, rubbing it with enthusiasm. I can feel his hands at my sides, gripping my waist while his other hand ascends towards my uplifted breast. The feel of his stubble, which he has sported since the day we broke up, on my chest as he dips his head to kiss the tops of my breasts before nuzzling them out of the corsets hold. Taking the nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking sweetly, eliciting a moan from me before taking it between his teeth. Biting my lower lip to keep from hissing out as he toys with it building pressure before letting it up again and again. I can feel the wetness between my legs grow more damp. A pinch to the other nipple brings me back as the new sensation mingles with the now soft suckling on the other breast. His mouth finally makes its way up to my neck stubble scrapping against my soft skin sending electric fire coursing through my body down beneath my belly button. Breathy moans escaping from lips, his hands making short work of the laces practically ripping the corset off of me before making their way down to my underwear. The feel of his hands between my legs driving me crazier as I ache for him to rub me, but I didn't have long to wait. In seconds my underwear was ripped in two and his hand descended onto my clit rubbing circles, sending me into a frenzy of "oh my god"s and "dear lord"s which only made him say "my name is not God."

I can feel my climax building as he slips two fingers in from the opposite hand hitting my G spot just right over and over again bringing me closer and closer to the outer body experience I seem to have every time this man gives me a climax.

"Tell me you love me" he grounds out into my ear as I feel his member at my entrance.

***

The week of Thanksgiving comes rolling in and excitement fills me as I walk through the house realizing Jimmy is gone. He hasn't been home for at least two days which means he has gone on another bender somewhere else. This holiday will not be ruined by his drunken escapades.

"Sophie" my mom calls from the kitchen. Her voice sounding lighter than normal almost singsong.

"Yeah, mom?" I ask peeking my head in through the doorway.

"I need you to get this for thanksgiving lunch" she barely looks up at what she's doing as she shoves a piece of paper at me. Grabbing it from her outreached hand I look it over while muttering "lunch? Who does lunch?"

"hmm" her head jerks up

"Nothing, nothing" I mutter as I walk away collecting my stuff to go outside. Walking out of the building and down the street I bump into Kyle.

"Hey"

"Hi"

"What are you doing around here?" I ask my interest piqued since he lives at least a 30-minute bus ride away.

"I was just headed to go see you actually" Running his fingers through his hair. A small blush spreading across his cheeks.

I smile at him before adding "well I'm headed to the store if you want to join me." Shrugging my shoulders as I begin to walk again, past him without waiting for his response. Confident that he will follow me like the puppy that he appears to be.

Sure, enough he mutters "okay, where are we headed to?" as he easily catches up, matching my stride.

"D-town" replying quickly as I make my way through the maze of buildings and playgrounds to the so-called 'shopping center' of our little city.

We walk quietly through the aisles of the store as I collect the needed items on my mother's shopping list. Feeling more and more grateful that Kyle is here and available to help me carry the bags back to the house since I forgot the cart. Once ready to go to the register with all my necessary items I turn to Kyle and ask, "is there anything you'd like to get?" raising my eyebrow as I patiently wait for his response.

He looks around the snack aisle, that I've led him to, and finally responds with a "nah" what is that 'nah'. He could have said 'no thank you' like a gentleman.

"okay" I turn away from him wheeling the shopping cart to the register to pay for my goods. On the way out of the store Kyle grabs my hand with his free hand, trying to be macho and hold five bags in one hands, while I have two in my own hand, spins me towards him and give me a peck on the lips. My cheeks instantly blossom into a red tomato as he turns us back and we continue walking down the street. Turning to cross I see Sebastian and his friends staring at us from the corner of the opposite street.

***

After getting back to the house and handing over the goods to my mom all I want to do is hide under my covers. Did Kyle kiss me on purpose 'cause he saw Sebastian? Did he kiss me 'cause he likes me? So far, we've only been hanging out as friends. What does this mean now? With all of these thoughts rattling around in my head I end up telling Kyle I have a Headache and just want to go to bed. Which isn't a lie. He seems disappointed but understanding as he leaves giving me a reassuring hug before he disappears. Heading straight for my bed I instantly feel sleepy as if the day had dragged on and the night cannot come soon enough. Stripping down to just a bra and thong I slip beneath my satin covers and fall asleep.

I can feel him trying to wake me to get me to respond to his touch, but my body feels like lead. Made of compacted sand that sifts out of his hands every time he tries to get a hold of me. My eyes slowly opening to see him sitting over me a grim expression on his face.

"What's the matter, my love?" I whisper into the air feeling myself slip back under the blanket of unconsciousness. Fighting back to hear his response, I hear "You kissed him." Jolting upwards I realize just what happened earlier and how that must have affected Sebastian to see me and Kyle.

"He kissed me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't know he was going to. I'm sorry." I stammer out my sentences. He's no longer there but the feeling of his disappointment lingers in the air as tears run down my face. Turning over I sob into my pillow letting it all go until I fall once again asleep, fitfully.

Waking up I feel incredibly sad about missing my nightly date with Sebastian and having it end so abruptly. Trudging out of bed still tired I make my way over to the bathroom, with towel in hand to take a nice hot relaxing shower.

Turning the water on and stepping inside is one of the greatest feelings of being alive. The cascading water trickling down my head, over my tension ridden shoulders to the rest of my body feels like nirvana. Standing there I think over the events of yesterday and realize I have nothing truly to feel ashamed for. I am already broken up with Sebastian because of his actions, because of who he is, and what he represents. So, what if I kiss or rather am kissed by a normal human boy. So, what if I date a normal human boy. I deserve happiness. Resound in my new thought frame I exit the shower determined to call Kyle and invite him over for thanksgiving lunch.

***

After inviting Kyle, Ella and Mari over for thanksgiving lunch, I head back to my room feeling drowsy still. Crawling over my bed I don't even bother to remove my clothing when I fall into a heavy slumber.

I can feel him stroke my hair but am unwilling to open my eyes. Instead I mumble "You were mean."

"How was I mean, Principessa?" He asks with no malice, just continues to stroke my hair.

"You made me feel bad for doing what I am supposed to do. To get over you and move on." I cuddle closer to him seeking the warmth of his body. The caressing movements of his fingers as they comb through my hair.

"I am sorry Principessa, but it hurts me so when I see you with him. I wish you only to be mine." He whispers into my ear before giving me a kiss on my temple.

I smile at his words, but it quickly turns into a frown when I realize my own subconscious is working against me from moving on. "I have to Sebastian. I have to move on. Don't you want me to be happy?" I open my eyes to stare into his, pleading with him to understand. Pleading with myself.

"I always want you to be happy my Principessa." He retorts continuing to play with my hair before mumbling "but can you not be happy with me?"

"hmm?" I say back in my half drowsy state, lulled by his handwork, the closeness of his body making me feel safe and comforted.

***

Thanksgiving Day rears its head and I realize I have spent most of the week sleeping in bed or working, waiting till I can be back in bed sleeping. This drowsy state had better end soon because I am not sure how long I can manage life in the short hours I am barely awake. Not to mention being at work has started to cause problems with my stomach. The smells at the fish counter which has never bothered me before has started to make me quite nauseous. Thankful to wake up with the next two days off and to be spending it with family and friends, I make my way fully dressed to the kitchen, awaiting guests. The first to arrive is Ella and I am thankful she did because she is good in the kitchen. Quickly I usher her into the kitchen to take over my post of helping my mother with cooking, a task I would rather spectate then participate in. The next to arrive is Mari and she joins me in the kitchen watching them chop and sauté, making a feast that has my mouth watering. The aromas in the kitchen are pungent and as the bell rings, I almost don't want to get back up again. Getting the door, I am shocked to see that it isn't just one but both of my suitors, Kyle (my daytime and human suitor) and Sebastian (my ex and dream suitor) standing at the door. My jaw drops as I stare at both of them in their button up shirts and slacks looking very dapper. Sebastian with his dark curls half put up the rest tumbling around his shoulders. His muscular frame taking up the majority of the allotted space of the doorway. His dark gray suit looks sleek and form fitted to his agile body. Kyle looks small in comparison to him but still looking handsome in his fitted blue slacks and matching button up shirt. His own long curls put up in a ponytail, his pale face even paler as he looks between me and Sebastian. A small bouquet of wildflowers in his hands slightly shaking from what I can only imagine to be anger. Sebastian walks in before handing me his own large bouquet of white roses, my favorite, and dropping down to give me a kiss on the cheek before continuing into the house. Kyle following his example marches in mumbles a "hi" before shoving his flowers into my hands.

"Wait Kyle!" I whisper scream, reaching out for him. He turns around looking wounded. "I didn't know he was coming. I'm sorry." I implore him to understand.

"I just don't understand what he's doing here." Kyle fumes.

"I don't either." I concur reaching out to take his hand, showing my solidarity is with him. Making our way down the corridor before turning right into the dinning room/ kitchen area. I see Mari setting the table with Ella's help while my mother and Sebastian talk over the stove.

Stefan decides now would be the best time to make the most awkward entrance and proclaim, "he, what's soph's ex-boyfriend doing here?" My mother instantly freezes over the stove as if she had not realized me and Sebastian haven't been seen together for a month now, or that I have been hanging out more with Kyle. She turns around to see me still standing near the entrance holding Kyle's hand with my cheeks the brightest shade of red they could muster themselves into becoming.

Instead of saying anything else on the topic she nods a hello at Kyle then goes back to furiously whispering to Sebastian. I, however, smack Stefan in the arm "ever hear of something called tact?"

He sticks out his tongue and keeps it moving to his chair which Mari just finished setting up. Stefan's tall figure folds up smoothly as he glides into the chair. His lanky, yet powerful figure taking up the seat's contents. Kyle is the next to sit down placing a napkin carefully on his lap. I wait till Sebastian looks over at me before waving him over out of the kitchen, turning my head to make sure he is following as I head into the living room. I can hear his footfalls behind me as I make sure to be towards the farthest end of the room near the wide full length glass windows that overlook the back of the building, the street lights from below illuminating parts of the living room floor.

"What are you doing here?!" I demand feeling myself become flustered as my body wars with itself. Wanting both to be as far away from him and yet to be in his arms touching him like I was last night in my dreams.

"Principessa, I am sorry to anger you, but your mother invited me and I thought you knew." His sincerity disarms me making me want to cry in relief, in disbelief, in frustration. I ball my fists at my side digging my nails into the heel of my palms while biting the inside of my cheek hoping the culmination of the pain will keep me from launching myself at him. To kiss or hit him, I'm not sure.

"You should still leave. You should have declined." I grind out between my teeth unable to keep the rage from my voice, the hurt. My emotions keep roiling inside of me, conflicting. This our first interaction in person since the day I confronted him about who he is.

"I don't mean you any harm, Principessa-"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" I yell out. Unable to take the endearment that I have held so dear to me all this time, even in my dreams. "You have no right to continue to call me that. I am Sophie to you. In fact, Ms. Ortiz. We are as formal as formal can be." I continue to spew out my angry rant wanting to distance myself from him in everyway possible. Hoping it will help. Hoping it will quell the hold he has over me. How my legs are still ready to melt and yet launch myself into his arms and my fingers want to know if his hair is still as soft as they imagine they are in my dreams. If his body will feel just as strong and assuring between my legs as I have envisioned.

His head hangs defeated as he slips his hand into his suit's inner pocket and takes out a present. "I know thanksgiving is not a present giving holiday, but the one thing I am grateful for is having you in my life. This is me thanking you." He places the blue velvet box on the TV stand, turns around and exits the room without another word. I walk over to the present and pick up the box debating whether or not I should open the box. Instead I decide to hand it back to him but as I make my way out of the living room I hear the front door close and know that it is too late.

Not wanting Kyle to see the inconsequential present I make a beeline to my room and place it on my bed, where I see there is already an envelope addressed to me in Sebastian's handwriting. when did he have time to come back here? Looking around I wonder what else he has done in my room while he was here.

"Sophie!" turning my head toward the kitchen where I hear Mari calling my name as she comes closer, looking for me. I decide its better she doesn't see all of this, quickly exit my room. Racing down the hallway my skirt flying around my ankles, my crop top ridding up beneath my breasts as I make my way down the hallway to the kitchen, slowing when I see Mari turn to me.

"There you are" she says exasperated

"yeah, just had to check out my outfit. Want to make sure I look good for Kyle." I smile hoping she buys it.

"mhm, Kyle. Well, Sebastian left thank the lord and lunch is ready. Come eat." Turning on her heel I let out a sigh of relief and fix myself a bit before following in her wake.

Sitting down to the meal my mother and Ella helped make I was thankful that everyone important in my life was there at the table. However, I was missing Sebastian. As much as I fought to make him leave my body still craves him, and so does my heart.

"Soph" my mother leans over conspiratorially "who is this young gentleman who is sitting at my table?" She asks as if she has never met Kyle before.

"Mom, you remember Kyle, right? He's my friend/ boyfriend now…" I trail off not really knowing how to explain what me and Kyle are to each other.

"mhm" she says with a sly smile decorating her face. "he seems nice"

"he is" I shove some mashed potatoes into my mouth hoping that will be the end of the conversation.

***

Back in my room stuffed after my mothers very delicious lunch I reminisced on how grateful I was my friends were up for taking a walk to help me digest all the food we had just consumed. We went to the near by park and played like the young kids we still kind of were and Kyle pushed me on the swings like cute young couple did. Ella snapped some pictures of us all playing on her phone which looked amazing and then we went our own ways for dinner.

Sitting on my bed I look down on what I have pushed to the back of my mind all day long, the present and note, and what to do with them. Curiosity has me wanting to rip right into it and know the contents of both and scour my room to see exactly what else he has placed around here, but the part of me that knows I need to step away from him has me putting the both of them in my top draw of my dresser. Closing my closet drawers and leaving it behind me I back away to the bed, getting undressed on my way. Leaving a trail of discarded clothing on the floor as I decide to lay naked in the cool evening air under my warm blankets.

"Sophie, my love" he calls to me as I open my eyes.

"Sebastian?" I call "Am I dreaming?" I hadn't noticed the normal sensation of the dream state take over me like normal. My drowsiness trying to pull me back under while my stomach cries out for more food.

"Principessa, please open your eyes for me." He kisses each eye before kissing my nose and lips.

I open my eyes, wrap my arms around his neck pulling him down onto me so that I can kiss his lips again. To taste the mint of his toothpaste, to feel his tongue slip into my mouth and slide against mine. "Principessa. Principessa wait" he murmurs against my lips.

Pulling back reluctantly I ask, "why? Why must I wait? I waited all day for you. I want you now. I want to feel you." I cry out need evident in my speech.

He looks down and ashamed as if he is a wounded animal that needs coaxing. "You turned me away again today, Principessa. I know you want to be rid of me in the waking hours, but you were so harsh. Do you really only want me to be formal with you?" Peering up at me through his hair he runs his fingers through his lushes curls dragging them back.

"I want what we have. Here I don't want anything to change. I still love you even though I know I should let you go." I pause know I am finally confessing my hearts desires. "I love and want to be with you but it's my choice to go against my destiny. I will not follow some preordained path for me that has me going with someone who is evil. However, in this dream world I cannot help but relent and be with you. I cannot help but give in to you and let my love for you take over." I gulp knowing that I have just confessed to myself how weak I truly am when it comes to staying away from Sebastian.

"Then why haven't you opened my present? Why haven't you read my letter?" He askes plainly

"because that is the real world and in the real world those things need to stay hidden or I might. I might cave." Turning away from him I feel my face heat up as blood rushes up to color my cheeks. He places his hand beneath my chin bring it back around to face him, making me peer into his eyes.

"Why can we not just live happily? I love you so much Principessa. I want to make you a queen. I want to make you the happiest person in the world." He states as if he is the real Sebastian. As if this is the real world.

"You're not real though, you're just a dream. You are what I wish Sebastian would say to me. To do to me." I shake my head releasing it from his hold, missing his own shake of his head.

"Then read my letter. Read what I have to say." He pleads "I miss you, I want you back my Principessa."

"What happened to in here is enough?" I say becoming enraged

"It can never be enough." He plainly states