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Critical Hit: The World’s Clumsiest Sword Saint

[Target in sight.] [Skill Critical Eye has been activated.] Being clumsy is quite common. But Luke Hunter’s clumsiness is on a different level. As the young man quite literally stumbles through life, he wonders if there’s something more he could be doing in the world. His dreams may come to be realized, as a freak accident causes Luke to wake up as Klum, in a completely different setting than his day-to-day life. His Dexterity, a skill that measures things such as flexibility and how well one holds themself, sits at the level it was in his past life; 1. And yet, he finds his skills to be suited for an extremely coordinated individual, especially after he meets the only other Sword Saint to have ever existed, an individual who is the strongest Swordsman among those both alive and passed on. It’s up to him to find his way in his new life, and strive to reach the path of the highest Swordsman — the Sword Saint. Will he be able to transform his 1 Dexterity into a 1000? Or will he be dragged into something much deeper — much darker? Credits to valeri_mirley on fiverr for the new cover! Updating 5-10 chapters a week, and now posting on RoyalRoad!

kyci · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
116 Chs

Chapter 79 - Sacrifice vs. Gain

I muse over the three things in front of me, my mind a whirlwind.

Unable to help my curiosity, I lean forward with a long blink. "Alright. Spill."

"Hehehe. I knew you would come around. You may be an amateur, but you got some smarts about you. Let's dive into the details, why don't we?"

"First, the obvious gain. You shoot right up to Novice, and become the next Mage Saint. But, every Sainthood comes with a Sacrifice."

As he speaks, on the Gain side, an overly goofy projection of me pops up, blue elements orbiting around me, and the same witch hat on his head, except blue.

He points to the Sacrifices side. "Now, you're going to hate this, but just hear me out, okay? You have to promise me you'll listen to it all."

Confused, I slowly nod, and he takes a deep breath. "Good. So, the thing you have to Sacrifice is already in front of you. Not literally, but it's… recent. Wow, okay, I thought I'd be way better at this."

"What happened to getting to the point?" I snap, knowing it's useless to think anything as he'll hear it anyway.

He holds his hands up by his shoulders defensively, palms facing me. "Easy, girl. The point is… the Sacrifice is your brother's adventuring career. But—"

"Nope. I'm good." I immediately stand, looking for an exit.

He shrugs, throwing a hand up casually. "I mean, you can, but if you refuse, there's a high chance he'll never wake up again."

I whip my head back around, flames curling around my hair as I glare at him. "Don't fuck with me."

He scoffs. "Relax. You said you would listen to all of it, remember?"

I groan loudly, sitting back down after a long debate in my head. A wide grin spreads over his mouth as he listens. "Good. Now, you have to sacrifice his career, but I can use my Magic to allow him to wake up within the next month."

I grit my teeth slowly. "And if I don't agree…"

He taps the tips of his fingers together, licking his lips as he leans forward. "Your brother certainly already has an uphill battle to fight. And I'll tell you now, he's not winning at the moment."

"Fuuuck." A small gasp slips between my teeth, and I punch the table. "Dammit. Yeah, okay."

I look up. The fucker has added all the other projections slowly, steadily. Now, my brother in bed sits in Sacrifice, and him again, with his eyes open this time, in Gain.

"As you can see, the Gain outweighs the Sacrifice," he says, gesturing to the table. "So, what do you say? A good gamble, isn't it?"

I glare at him. "Wowww. So amazing."

He laughs, placing the bottoms of his hands on the table and standing, leaning even further forward. "So, what do you say?"

* * *

Several strands of pure white hair blow over my eyes, and I bat them away lazily. "Maybe I need a haircut?"

< Yes. >

I groan. "This damn thing… I wasn't asking, y'know."

<The Tutorial reminds the user that a question was literally just asked by user.>

"Okay, then I wasn't asking you."

<Okay. >
<The Tutorial recommends the user cuts their hair.>

"Just 'cause you said that, I'm not cutting it now."

I ignore the next three messages attempting to annoy me as I swipe them away and look up at the chapel. It has a mark just like the one surrounding the sword on the sigil engraved in my forearm. It had already been almost an hour since we split from Eniyala, and while the thought of her anger from earlier was unnerving, something had to have gone wrong if she wasn't back yet. She also wasn't responding to texts from me or Lynsel, so I left the inn we were renting to come check on her.

I walk up and open the door, and immediately a wash of blue light hits my eyes. 'The hell—?!'

Once my eyes had adjusted, I stop squinting enough to see the girl I had come to check on, her Mana flowing out of and around her gently. Her hair moves slowly, flowing about her as if she was in stasis. All the Priests are huddled under and around her in a large circle, on their knees as they pray. They seem to be led by a hippie-like Priest, who is the only one on her feet. The few bystanders stare in awe at the scene, and I make my way over to the raised, circular platform.

The minute I reach the steps, the blue Mana flashes brighter, then recedes instantly into its owner, and she falls ungracefully to the floor. Several Priests rush over her, trying to…

"Why are they stripping her?!"

I force my way through them, yanking a man away and kicking him between the legs before picking up the girl and leaping out of the crowd with her under my arm.

When I land, I make sure to lean back so that I don't drop Eni's head on the ground, and that's when I catch a glimpse of her back.

Her oversized shirt had been taken off, as well as a shoe, revealing a pink bra strap. More importantly, part of a sigil was hidden under it. I already knew by now what it was, but I slip it down a bit to make sure. 'Fuck.'

In the middle of her back, a circle with points on the left and right sit outside of a long, thin rod with a magical stone at the top.

A Saint's Sigil.

[Analyze+ has been activated.]

[Name: Eniyala Ignios]
[Age: 19]
[Lv: 20]
[Class: Mage Novice {Saint}]
[Health: 45/45]
[Mana: 202/202]
[Stamina: 50/50]

STR: 8 MAG: 43
AGI: 20 DEX: 12
VIT: 6 INT: 11

ACC: 16
DEF: 7
POW: 27 {+10}

[Skills: Mage Saint's Sigil (Unfound), Novice's Mastery (Legendary), Spellbind+ (Legendary), Spell Create+ (Ultra Rare), Magic Eyes+ (Super Rare), Analyze (Rare), Magic Heart+ (Rare), Sprint+ (Uncommon)]

[Spells: Fist of Ignios, Ignios Familiar+ (Eniyala), Ignios Stand, Magic Fingerblades, Ignios Arrows, Chains of Ignios, Hell's Chain Storm, Barbaric Ignios, Ignios Smithing, Magic Boost, Greater Enhance, Healing Tsunami]


"That's… almost absurd, at this point," I sigh, letting the band go and sliding it back into place. I gently set her down, chest towards the ground so lingering eyes wouldn't eat the… small eye candies on her front.

I calmly stand, looking at the Priests to locate one person. They all shiver in fear as a dark presence looms over them, so briefly that several of them question whether it was real.

"There."

A man with graying hair, squinty eyes, and a receding hairline. None of that mattered to me. Instead, I was more focused on the baggy shirt clutched in his hand.

I don't even bother reaching up; I just pour Mana into my right shoulder, and sure enough…

Click!

The sheath pops open, shoving the handle up. As if it can somehow sense the bloodlust hidden deep within my composed figure, dark Mana begins to emanate fiercely from the handle. I reach up to grab it, casually walking as if greeting an old friend, and then—

"Stop!" A shrill yell pierces the air, and the hippie lady from before jumps forward, ripping the shirt away from the man and holding it out towards me. "Please understand. We haven't had a Saint appear here, ever. It's no proper excuse, but I apologize. Just take this and go."

I slowly close the distance, sheathing the handle and taking the cloth into my hands. The hippie nods, her colorful hair bouncing extravagantly. "Thank yo—"

Without a word, my fist skims past her face, stopping an inch before his nose, and I flick it with one finger.

[Critical Mark has been hit. Dmg was adjusted to 500%.]

An audible crack fills the large room as his nose becomes more of a squashed mushroom, enough force hitting the fart's face that one of his top teeth even pops out, falling to the floor. A small spurt of blood sprays onto my extended finger, and I reach down to his writhing body, wiping it on the cloth of his shirt. Then, as if I were simply picking up litter, I repeat what I had done to his face to his hands, crudely shattering every bone within them with two simple flicks. Then, I turn around, walking back to Eniyala as if nothing had even happened. The other Priests, even the hippie, stand stunned, unable to process what had just happened in front of them. Some do, but don't dare to move a muscle to prevent themselves from ending up like the man currently on the floor.

But, I have no interest in them, as I slip on Eniyala's shirt and pick her up to throw over my shoulder. Panko peeks out from my left one sleepily, purring as Eni's scent hits his nose. They certainly hit it off when they first met.

"I can think later," I tell myself as I walk to the door. "First, let's head back, Panko."

- - -

With Eniyala safely tucked into her bed, and Lynsel updated on the situation, I flop onto my own bed, exhausted. The Crested Roller baby on one of the pillows pops into the air a bit, letting out a sound that sounds like a child crying, "wheee!" while going down a slide. By placing a hand on a piece of my armor, it is transported to my Inventory, leaving just my clothes. My other shirt had been ruined by this point, so I now had a long sleeve white shirt that cut into a pure black past the elbows of the sleeves and right below my sternum on the torso. I have the same slim-fit gray pants, no idea how, but still in good condition.

Remembering the words of the mayor, and the day's events, I throw an arm over my eyes and grit my teeth. "That cool bastard jinxed me… Right after he tells me I'll be fine, another Saint shows up, and my first party member turns into another."

Letting out a huff, I drop my arm and stare out the window at the rising great moon.

"What do you think, huh? I'm not even sure I can handle the weight of two other Saints on my shoulders, much less if two more show up. I mean, the most I've ever handled responsibility-wise is taking care of two reports at once, so this is a big jump."

As if he can understand my Earth speak, Panko yips, crawling under my arm to cuddle up to me. I realize that despite how it looks, when he isn't flexing them, the jutting cubelike rocks on his back are quite bouncy and soft. I hug the cuddly beast to my chest, closing my eyes.

"You're right, buddy. We'll focus on one thing at a time."

My dreams that night are different once more, and I fight off several shadowy figures at once, all of them heavy and trying to drag me to the ground to crush me, while up above the giant moon watches silently, hoping for my victory.