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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · Book&Literature
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102 Chs

You Are the Moonlight in My Heart

"I've written the acknowledgment. Please make sure to deliver it to your master. I am very satisfied with this shipment."

Lynne handed the card to the elongated specter with a smile.

Taking a brief look at the content on the card, the specter's face turned a peculiar shade of green.

This was utterly ridiculous! From a mere strand of hair, diagnosing such a list of life-threatening conditions? But it wasn't his concern.

Without further ado, the specter swiftly turned on his heel. Clutching his cane and with an IV drip in tow, he made a beeline for the exit. As he reached the door, he heard Lynne's cheerful voice echoing from behind.

"Dear customer, I hope to see you again! Thank you for your patronage!"

The specter shuddered involuntarily. The hand clutching the cane sped up even more, and he dashed into the dark mist, almost as if he were fleeing.

...

Watching the specter disappear into the distance, Lynne wasted no time. He swiftly extracted the four scrolls from the box.

Upon unrolling them, the intricate hexagram runes and magic circles immediately caught Lynne's attention.

Magic spells! Or, more precisely, the summoning and contract circles commonly used in the Dark World.

Through such circles, one could establish short-term contracts with beings from the Dark World or other realms. The four scrolls he held were clearly specialized.

Without hesitation, Lynne took out a quill and ink, seated himself at the counter, and began writing the first letter.

[Dear Little:]

[I am Lynne, your dentist. Do you still remember me? It was not long ago that you became the first lifetime member of our shop. I feel incredibly honored and delighted about that.]

[You are a truly kind and adorable girl.]

[Ever since you left, I've been thinking of you every day and night, yearning for you. I've been so restless that I've lost a significant amount of weight.]

[I often recall that lovely night.]

[Unable to contain the longing I feel for you, I finally decided to write you a letter. I believe that if I don't express myself to you, I might find it hard to keep going.]

[You are like a ray of moonlight in my heart that I can't shake off.]

[So, would you accept my invitation? I've arranged a sumptuous dinner for you at Wandering Soul Lane tomorrow. Please, do not

refuse.]

[Yearning for your presence.]

[Sincerely, Lynne.]

After writing, Lynne immediately sealed the letter with wax. He then bit his finger and dripped his blood onto the magic circle on the scroll.

Writing his name, "Lynne", the blood began to flow around the circle as he watched. Suddenly, the magic circle began to glow a crimson hue. The air vibrated with a hum.

In a flash, a beam of light shot from the circle, revealing two creature figures, each the size of a human.

One had the sleek form of a cheetah, its body etched with glowing red runes. It shimmered, giving off the impression that it might vanish at any moment.

The other was a massive turtle, its shell covered in brown moss. The head of the turtle was exceptionally fierce and, to be honest, quite ugly.

[Void Leaper]

[Level: 80]

[Alignment: Lawful Neutral]

[Combat Ability: Swift Runner!]

[Description: An enigmatic creature that roamed the vast void and abyss. In vast expanses, if one were to lift their gaze to the cosmos and witness a multitude of meteors streaking rapidly across the sky, think again! They might not be meteors but herds of Void Leapers, zipping through the void!]

[Swamp Turtle King]

[Level: 81]

[Alignment: None]

[Description: Lurking in the depths of the vast Bad Swamp, these Turtle Kings are gentle yet sluggish creatures. Throughout their lives, they've spent an absolute majority of their time immersed in slumber. Millennia pass without much significance for them. Although most Swamp Turtles are reluctant to leave their beloved swamp, there are always some with a more adventurous spirit, seeking employment elsewhere, such as in deliveries...]

Upon seeing these two revered creatures, Lynne's eyes sparkled.

"Are you my couriers?"

Lynne greeted them with a smile.

The Void Leaper let out a howling response.

The Swamp Turtle King slowly turned its massive head and gradually opened its mouth, saying:

"I..."

Lynne blinked.

Time seemed to drag on.

"Am..."

Lynne opened his mouth, holding his breath in anticipation.

"Your..."

A minute later.

"Err..." Lynne looked on in astonishment, his breath caught in his throat.

"Courier."

After the Turtle King finished speaking, its head, with an indescribably slow motion, revealed a goofy turtle grin.

Lynne felt as though he had nearly forgotten how to breathe. Wiping the cold sweat from his forehead, he solemnly and gravely handed the letter to the Turtle King, stating seriously, "I've been informed by your master that all you require is a trace of the recipient's physical tissue or scent, and you can swiftly locate the target and deliver the letter..."

From his pocket, Lynne produced a tiny fragment of a tooth he had scraped off the Holy Spear not long ago.

"Her name is Little. Remember this scent, and make sure you deliver the letter as soon as possible."

The Turtle King took a sniff. And then, with an indescribably slow motion, it extended its neck and carefully opened its mouth to take the letter.

"Okay..."

But as Lynne watched, it took a full ten minutes to slowly move the letter towards its back.

Lynne was on the verge of a heart attack.

Click—

A small compartment opened up on the turtle's shell.

"Sure..."

Lynne's patience finally snapped. In a flurry of motion, he snatched the letter and, with unbelievable speed, shoved it into the secret compartment in the turtle's shell, snapping it shut on the turtle's behalf.

"I..." The Turtle King slowly began, speaking in a dazed manner.

Taking its time, it started to move its limbs at a pace visible only under a microscope, heading towards the door.

"Am..."

The veins on Lynne's temple throbbed uncontrollably. He ignored the turtle, letting it shuffle on, and turned his attention to the eager Void Leaper beside him.

"You have a task as well," Lynne said sternly. "I'm aware you're the fastest in the messenger realm..."

Before Lynne could finish,

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh—

The Void Leaper in front of Lynne vanished in a split second and then, just as swiftly, reappeared, squatting before Lynne, panting heavily.

"Roar—"

It let out a howl and placed a small rock in front of Lynne.

Lynne was taken aback, "Is this... a meteorite fragment?! You're saying you just made a quick trip to the outer void in that short span of time?"

The Void Leaper panted smugly.

Taking a deep breath, Lynne closed his eyes, patted the creature's head, and remarked:

"Fast! Truly fast! But..." Lynne pointed to the continuous stream of blood gushing from the wound on its head and exclaimed in distress: "You've cracked your skull open! Watch where you're going when you leap! Sure, you're fast, but if you kill yourself the moment you step out, not only will my letter remain undelivered, but I'll also have to cover your funeral expenses!"