Lost

I look up at the ceiling. Ceilings always white that off white color is never truly me. I hated that color more than anything because it seemed to plain to me. Why can't it be another shade of color, color that actually shows emotions. Like blue, green or even yellow. Did you know that the color your house is painted on the inside is based on how you feel and sometimes it can even mean that it represents your insecurities. I got out of bed this morning took the longest bathroom back and walked my dog Marol across the street. The neighbor upstairs is always yelling at his step-daughter. Wouldn't be surprised if I found a couple stashes of drugs up in room in places you wouldn't suspect. If it's not drugs than she's probably hiding something or someone in that place she calls a prison.

Samantha was her name and went to a high school across the street with nobody but her-self. Why cause she didn't have any friends. I always suspected that she was a porn star due to the fact that I would hear a buzzing noise over my head. When I first saw her she didn't look like the type of girl that would get shoved into lockers or faced into toilets, but after a while she seemed to get worse. My next door neighbor Julien was an old woman with too many cats to spare. I couldn't believe that she could still see. She would always have the smell of cat urine and the year 1892 written all over her. Her glasses were so thin that they would fall straight on her nose. Her eyes seem to always squint at things she couldn't see. She never got my name right. She always called me Bob even tho my name was Ethan. She always told me that I looked like a Bob but then the following after she would say that was my ex-boyfried from the time I was in high-school. Lady can't even remember her husbands name sometimes, I guess that's why he moved out. She has three kids but they don't even come visit her.

Now a floor above me was Joey he own's a whole lot then a should for no reason. He always looks like he came from smoking a pack of cigarettes and having a good time at an all white kids pool party. I was even more surprised that he had a girlfriend. She was a pretty little thing and she would even bring me clothes that her brother didn't want. I didn't know if she felt bad for me or if she thought I needed a wardrobe change. I walked my dog Marol down the street across the town and wasn't greeted by anybody like you would see in those kid shows. Everybody got their own problems and things to do nobody wants to talk to the guy that has another somebody living in his head. I named him Ethan 2 because he's a lot like me but not. I have a descent job as a lawyer. Well I did have a descent job as a Lawyer before I get fired from the other me, but that's a whole another story to explain. Let me just sum it up for you. I came into work late because of traffic and since I don't have car it's been rough.

My boss was being irritating so my other side came out and trashed his front desk. I didn't expect that at all to happen and so as I'm being fired I looked at my Boss and told him that this company was already in the dirt anyways and then I realized I had bills to pay so wherever I'm going with this doesn't matter. Ethan 2 has never bothered me before at work besides he's good most of the time if it isn't embarrassing myself with my girlfriend. I really don't want to call her my ex because I still play sad love songs and eat ice cream for her so she doesn't have too. When I came outside after fake being mad at my boss because I really needed that dirtbag of a job. My bike was stolen and because it was stolen I threw a tantrum and kicked my foot at a pole. Not fun. Ethan 2 laughed at me and then I ignored it walking home in the rain.

Did I ever tell you that it rained? Marol and I sat down at the dog park playing fetch. There was this one time this other dog tried to take Marol's frisbee away but then I grabbed it and we fought on it. No like literally we fought on it with our teeth. Im guessing that's something you could put in the papers. Marol looked at me funny while I was walking home with only one leg pair of pants on. "Don't you dare say a single word, thank you" So basically that's my morning routine. I wake up and stare at the ceiling for a few minutes, talking about how much that I am a failure. Getting ready with my favorite playlist and having a sing off with my dog. While Samantha from above yells at me to and I quote "Turn off that rotten gay music you've got and shove it up your arse" end quote. She's a mean one I tell you. I asked Ethan today that we were going job hunting and that he should be behave. He didn't respond to me so I was fairly disappointed. I called my older sister to lend me money and she told me, a whole bunch of "You know you still owe me 5k that you took right, I also have to make a living too"

In her kitchen Margaret paces the floor. "Well how about you find a job Ethan and I'll try to help you pay for that car that you love so much" She gives a stressed look while scurrying her things. "Im going to work so if theres anything that you need call my husband ok" Ethan shakes his head aggressively. "You know I don't like him Margaret he's such a" In the background Ethan hears Margaret's husband. "Hey Ethan how's it been?' "Amazing person!, how are you Phil?" Ethan chuckles. "I'm doing good Margaret's off to work while I take care of the kids" Ethan smiled nervously. "Kids I didn't know you had any kids?" Phil bites his lip. "How could you've know Ethan you never call and besides you parents are worried about you man" Ethan's face twists into a frown. "Why would they care about me besides they kicked me out the house years ago" Ethan hears a background noise. "What's that sound?" The phone scrambled. "Sorry Ethan its the baby, I got to hang up man whenever your free call" Phil chuckles. "Oh yea!, that right your always free you don't have anything else better to do with your life, see you later scumbag" Phil chuckles.

The phone goes straight to dial. Ethan bites his inner mouth and realizes what just happened. "You know what I don't need them" -Ethan 2 "yea man you don't need them they're worthless" Ethan shakes his head in agreement. "I don't need them ,they don't need me, I DON'T NEED THEM!" Ethan throws the phone of the floor. -"Ethan 2 "let's kill them every last one of them, lets make sure we take their arms and legs and shove it down their throats" Ethan becomes hyper. "Yea lets do it, we can we can" -Ethan 2 "Then will make sure we carve the bodies up and when were done we'll send it in the mail to your parents" Ethan laughs hysterically. "Then will cut of Phils groins and make him eat them then will take his baby and send him to my sweet cousin. " Ethan shakes his head. "We don't harm kids unless we have too" -Ethan 2" I don't care I JUST WANNA KILL SOMEBODY" Ethan's heart begins to pound hysterically.

"But we can't kill Margaret" Ethan begins to sniffle. "She's paying for my car and I love my car!" -Ethan 2 "We can buy a new one, something that will get all the attention you need" Ethans eyes widen but he doesn't smile. "I don't like it" Ethan shakes his head and begins to scratch his scalp. "I cant kill my sister, she's always been there for me besides, what am I going to do without her" Ethans mind begins to spin. "What if they found out that it's me that killed her than I'll go to jail and I wont be able to punch Phil" -Ethan 2"They won't find out besides, I'll show you were to hide the bodies, trust me Ethan" Ethan begins to panic and sweat. "I CAN'T DO THIS!" Ethan begins to fall backwards crashing into a glass lamp. "Im sorry" unaware of his surroundings. -Ethan2 " trust me Ethan they won't find it besides no one's going to know there gone anyways" Ethan leans on the kitchen counter top. "My meds were are they?" -Ethan 2" no Ethan you will not shut me out , I don't want to be silenced you can't do this to me!"

Ethan's body is shoved to the side. He wasn't physically shoved but he felt his body move. Ethan tries standing up but he isn't able to move his legs . "What the hell!" Ethan turns laying on his stomach as he drags himself to his cabinet. -Ethan 2" It will only get worse Ethan so allow me to be in control!" A knock on the front door. "Ethan it's Roxanne!, are you home?" Ethan pauses and slows his breathing. "I wanted to know if you wanted these sneakers my brother said he didn't want them" Roxanne bangs the door again. "Ethan are you in there, is everything ok?!" Ethan stands up and walks towards the front door. "Im coming!, just hold on!" Ethan struggles to hold on to his counter top. He lifts him self up slowly. He reaches for the cabinet handle. -

-Ethan 2 "LET GO!" Ethan reaches for a bottle and opens it pouring it on himself. Ethan 2 begins to moan. Alcohol was the only way that he could calm this possessive creature that he had in him. Ethan could finally control his legs again and he sat down on the floor and took a couple breaths before dropping the bottle. "Ethan!, are you ok!" Ethan hears more banging on the door. "Ethan i'm calling the cops!"

Ethan slowly closes his eyes finds himself in a pitch black abyss. Underwater with no way to breath. Ethan tries to swim to meet the surface but it's not allowing him to go something is pulling him down. Something that he's never seen before.

"Ethan?!" a faint voice of remorse caused him to see the light ones more. "Ethan!?" A bright light passing by and moving why was it moving? Why wasn't the light saying in one place? More voices and more words being spoken. "Ethan can here you me?" I focused my attention on the voice towards my left. "Emily is that you" She looked like my Emily blonde hair and baby blue eyes the most beautiful women in the world. Who would have cared for me if I just didn't let her down. I truly loved her but I messed up, I just want to go back sometimes wishing that she never meet me. It would have been better then my heart wouldn't be so sore. "Emily I'm sorry for being a fool will you ever forgive me" The women stared at me with a worried face. "Ethan keep talking we need you alive" I was confused. "Margaret?" The lady was no longer there she fell behind my vision of sight and a new set of doors were open.