Holding On

"Ethan do you remember anything?" The last thing that I knew was being brought into the light. "Ethan!" A felt large sting on my neck. "Ethan?" It was all so blurry and fuzzy. I didn't know what was going on. "Ethan!" A felt a ringing in my ears. "Your awake, thank God!" It was Roxanne she had on a jean skirt with a top showing her bottom stomach but a hat to go with it.

Why was she here you asked? Actually nobody asked but I'm going to answer it. "She found me passed out on the floor covered in Vodka like the idiot that I was" My head felt like it split in two and whatever Roxanne was wearing revealed way too much than it should. Especially that top. I sla[pped my-self, "Focus Ethan!" How could I focus when my neighbors girlfriend looked like a stripper. The next thing I knew was a pair of arms wrapped around my neck. "Margaret?" I knew it was by the scent of that expensive perfume that she wore. she hit me with her purse "I thought you were dead you peace of!" she continued hitting me.

"Hey!, Hey! would you stop it!" I raised my arms up in the air. "Im alive OK!" I could see the bags in her eyes that she had been awake not sleeping a wink. She watched me all night making sure that I was still alive. "Margaret" she turned her head and put her finger on my lips. "Don't you say another word" She began crying again. I didn't know what to say or do. I knew that i was terrible and there was nothing that i could do about it. It shook me to the core to see my sister like this. I hate to see her cry and she meant the world to me. -Ethan 2 "Does she really?" Not him again, why do my thoughts keep challenging. Why do I always mess up it's because of him? Right it's his fault. I rubbed the peak of my nose downwards and closed my eye. Sometimes I wish that I could just Die. Ethan2 "Now why would you want to do that?" "Because you've ruined everything"

"Ethan what are you talking about?" I opened my eyes and looked at my sister who was puzzled yet concerned. "Who are you talking to?" she asked but I didn't answer. "No one just myself" she put her hand on my arm. "Are you that you're ok?" I looked up at her and smiled. "Yea it's nothing to worry about just some thinking" She stared at me for a few seconds before kissing my forehead. "Im going to go outside for a couple smokes can you not tell Phil that I'm outside" I looked at her and nodded. "Yea sure go ahead" She smiled briefly and left. Sometimes I think that I don't even know Margaret that well. "Ethan I left the shoes at your house" Roxanne cleared her throat. "In your bedroom" she too smile briefly and made her exit towards the door. "I hope you feel better good night" "Yea same to you too" The room was filled with silence and nothing more than footsteps outside and faint voices.

-Ethan2 "You like her don't you?" I looked around to make sure nobody was looking. "Like who?" The voice chuckled. -Ethan2 "Don't play dumb with me boyscout you know who" I swallowed a regret like no other. "Thats Joey girlfriend besides she doesn't even know me" The voice got louder. Ethan2 "Are you sure about that?" Ethan squeezes the blankets clasping his knuckles. "Leave her alone she has nothing to do with you" -Ethan2 "I'm not sure even if i can contain myself around her" Ethan squeezes tighter. "She doesn't want you" Ethan2 "she'll enjoy being with me than she would ever with you" Ethan could feel his pulse rising.

-Ethan2 "Come on Ethan we don't have to fight like this besides if you want her so badly I'll get her for you" -Ethan2" And then were done playing with her we'll tie her up to the bed and watch as she burns while pouring gasoline on her, WOULDN'T THAT BE FUN!" "no no, no I said NO!" Ethan pants. "Were not doing that Ok, we" Ethan struggles for words. "I'm not like you, Im different from you, you're a monster while I'm a normal human being" Ethan lets go of the blanket. Ethan2 "Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, tsk tsk tsk, you are such a virgin"

Ethan2" No wonder Emily broke up with you" Ethan slaps his face. He looks over and find the remote that patients use at the hospital to call for assistance. "Nurse!" Ethan2" woah Slow down there buckery what do you think your doing?" "Ethan sweats and pants pressing the button. "Nurse help!, i need assistance" Ethan2" Your making a mistake Ethan" Ethan's right arm moves on it's own. "Give it to me now!" Ethan2" Why should we besides while wait while we can have some fun!" Ethans left arm is dragged to the left. Ethans arms are tied behind his back while his gown is turned into strap jacket. Ethan is thrown faced down on the bed and the back of his legs are lifted up above his head. Ethan can feel his spink crack. Ethan groans in pain. Ethan2" Hows that for being called normal!" Ethan looks up at the window above and see a few people pass by. They look at him strangely but continue to walk pass him. "No please don't go!, come back!, come back!" "Nurse!" Ethans spine continues to stretch forward.

Ethan wiggles his arms and tries to come unloose but Ethab2 uses his gown to choke him. Ethans suffocates in pain trying hard to remove the straps. The door opens and Ethan2 quickly lets go. "Ethan what are you doing?!" Its Margaret she runs towards me and tries to help. "What happened to you?, Why are you trying to kill yourself?" Ethan gets up and catches his breath. "It wasn't me, it was?" Ethan looks around the room to find that nobody is with him except his sister. "Margaret I swear I wasn't trying to" She takes Ethans hand holds it with hers. "Ethan I don't know what your going through but if you need to talk, I can" Ethan yanks his hands.

"I don't need therapy, I need whatever is in me to come out!" Ethans breath become rigourous. "Ethan your stressed, You just need to calm down and breath" She takes Ethans hands again and holds it tightly. "Ethan I'm hear for you because I'm your sister theres nothing wrong with you you don't have anyone with you except me, so trust me Ok" Ethan looks at his sister and finds warmth in her eyes. "You just need therapy and a bit of counseling thats all" She looks around the room. "Theres no one here Ethan, no one its your mind it's confusing you" Margaret begins to make gestures. "When your stressed your do crazy things ok because believe me I do crazy things too when I'm stressed as well" Margaret smiles.

"He's been with me since we were kids, He's the reason why I lost everything" Ethans face turns red with angry yet we was sad. "Ethan Im going to call my Therapist and she's going to recommend some great other therapist for you that you can reach out too" Margaret takes Ethans face and clasped it within her palms."Hey look at me your going to get the help that you need" Margaret shakes her head. "Yes right" Ethan removes her hands. "Fine"

-Ethan2 "I don't trust her?"

-Ethan2 "She's not the same girl her scent is different"

-Ethan2 "Are you even listening, I said something is wrong"

-Ethan2 "Your going to regret this if you trust her"

-Ethab2 "Dont listen to her she's not your sister!"

"I love you so much Ethan and were going to fix you" Ethan shakes his head in agreement. Margaret hugs her brother in relief. "Ok"

-Ethan2 "SHE'S NOT YOUR SISTER"