Chapter 8: What You and I Lack

The bell rang, and the second half of the sports festival began. It was time for the recommended participants' events. Only elite students from each class would take part in the remaining four competitions.

"You're participating in the scavenger hunt, right, Ayanokouji-kun?" "I'd rather not, if possible." There was nothing I could do about it,

though. I'd lost at rock-paper-scissors.

"The problem is that Sudou-kun's not here."

Since Sudou was gone, he'd simply be marked absent. Had we prepared a substitute competitor? Horikita also had yet to return to our camp. Hopefully, that meant that things were proceeding well.

"If it's all right with you, I'd like your opinion on something, Ayanokouji-kun. I would've asked Horikita-san as well, but she's not here."

"Hirata, you don't need my opinion to make a sound decision, right?" "I think we need a substitute. In the individual competitions, our class

ranks right at the bottom. To win in overall points, we need to win the next events," he replied.

"In that case, who do we choose as the substitute?"

"We need 100,000 points to put in a substitute. I'll figure something out with the points. I think we'd do well substituting Ike-kun or Yamauchi- kun," said Hirata.

"That's because, if they do happen to take first place, they'll be able to put points toward their tests. Right?"

"Yeah. We can use that to our advantage."

That was a good plan for the scavenger hunt, in which luck had a significant part in the outcome. Ike and Yamauchi played a round of rock- paper-scissors. In the end, Ike won, and triumphantly joined the scavenger hunt team. "All right. I'll do my best, for Sudou's sake!"

He seemed to have fighting spirit to spare, at least.

The referees explained the competition before it started. "Some items in the scavenger hunt are quite difficult to procure. To pick a new item, you can request a redraw, but there will be a thirty-second waiting period. You must make your redraw request to the referee when you draw your lot during the competition. The game ends when three players reach the goal. That's

all."

After that explanation, we started getting ready for the second-round

scavenger hunt, which I was participating in.

"Hey." Someone called to me. I didn't even need to look to know that it was Ryuuen.

"So, that muscle-headed moron won't be participating in the scavenger hunt, huh? I thought he'd take part for sure. Suzune's not here, either. They couldn't be doing each other backstage, right?"

"No idea. That has nothing to do with me," I replied.

"What a shitty answer." Losing interest in me, Ryuuen left. It looked as though he would be running in the second race, too.

Pretty soon, the first race started. The other classes had put forward their more athletic students, so Ike was overtaken right at the start. But speed wasn't all that counted in the scavenger hunt—the real deciding factor was which item you drew. Ike chose his lot and checked the contents.

The students in the lead searched this way and that way, leaving the field to find their items.

"Whoooooooa!" Ike struck a victory pose and took off running back toward the starting point. "Ayanokouji! Lend me your left foot! Your left foot!"

"My left foot?"

"Your shoe, dude! Your shoe! That's my item!"

Ike showed me a slip of paper with the words "Your classmate's left foot (shoe)" written on it.

"If I give it to you, I can't run anymore, though." "Geh?!"

He couldn't use a competitor's shoe. Ike panicked and rushed toward the camp. However, it looked as though the other students were also having a hard time with the scavenger hunt, since no one was heading toward the goal.

Thanks to his luck during the draw, Ike—somehow—ultimately found his way into first place. "Not bad, not bad at all," he said.

Moments later, Class A came in second, followed by Class B, and then Class C in last place. Soon afterward came the signal for the start of the second race. I went to draw a lot, lagging slightly behind the other students.

I reached inside the box, touching several slips of paper in turn.

Carefully, I took one out and unfolded it. "Now then, what will mine say?"

"Ten friends."

"You're kidding, right?" I felt myself blacking out. Just one friend would have been bad enough, but ten? They had to be screwing with me, right? I couldn't even think of ten people I was on speaking terms with.

"Dude, why are you spacing out? Hurry up, Ayanokouji!" Ike sounded a little full of himself, still on a high from taking first place. But there was nothing I could do. Two of the only classmates I could count as friends, Horikita and Sudou, were absent. Since Ichinose and Kanzaki were currently my enemies, I couldn't count them, either.

"I'd like to request a change."

The other students were already running off to find their items. In accordance with the rules, I waited thirty seconds, then redrew my lot.

"A person you love."

"No, no, no. No, no, no, no."

What in the world was up with the slips I had drawn? They were screwing with me.

"Ch-change, please."

I could sense Class D's confusion, but there really was nothing I could do. If I showed that slip of paper to a member of the opposite sex, it would have been the same as confessing romantic feelings for them. Even if I lied and asked them to play along, it would have been incredibly embarrassing.

So, before I could even start looking for my item, I had to take on a one- minute handicap.

"A table clock."

My third draw finally produced something I could actually obtain, but I'd have to go inside the school to find a table clock. I checked the teachers' tent, just in case, but came up empty-handed. While I did that, the other three contestants reached the goal.

"This isn't good."

Lady Luck had snubbed me, and I came in last.

8.1

The afternoon competitions would be starting right about now. At least I'd found the red-haired student I was looking for sitting on a sofa in the dormitory lobby.

"Sudou-kun." I called out gently, so as not to startle him. He turned to look at me.

"Horikita." He appeared surprised. He probably simply hadn't expected me to show up. "Why are you here? Don't tell me you came to persuade me to go back?"

"Do I look like the type to come all the way here to persuade you?" "That… No, you don't. So, did you come here just to scold me or

somethin'?"

"I don't know about that. I must admit that I'm not sure what to say at

all."

"Huh?" Sudou-kun tilted his head like he didn't quite understand. I

wondered why that was. I'd finally found Sudou-kun, and I felt as though I couldn't really say anything. I tried to remember why I'd tried so hard to find him.

"If you stay out of the competitions, Class D has no hope of winning." "Probably not. Guess we're in a lot of trouble right now, huh?"

"Yes. We're at the very bottom of the rankings. To turn things around, we need to take first place in all the recommended-participant events. Even then, we won't make the top spot."

Despite having excellent athletes like Sudou-kun, Class D as a whole was clearly inferior in this sports festival.

"And after I carried everyone on my back. That Hirata," Sudou-kun huffed.

"He did nothing wrong by stopping you from going on a rampage. On the contrary, you should be grateful to him. If you'd hit Ryuuen-kun, you might have been disqualified," I replied.

"I just couldn't stand being on the receiving end of that. What Ryuuen did was foul play."

"You may be a bit of a problem child, but you certainly gave it your all today," I said.

Sudou hadn't acted like himself. That alone was a miracle. For his

classmates' sake, he'd been as good a leader as he knew how to be. He was hot-headed, as usual, but at the root of that was a desire to win. He'd performed excellently in the group events, and I needed to acknowledge his worth.

"That said, there's still a lot you need to work on," I continued. "The fact that you're here alone right now is proof."

"The heck does that mean?"

"If people could truly rely on and trust you, you'd have a lot of classmates coming after you, not just me. People who wanted to convince you to come back, I mean."

Sudou-kun kicked the table in irritation.

"That's the problem right there," I continued. "You try to bully your way through Class D. It happened during the midterm exams, and during the dispute with Class C. Now you've snapped and flipped out."

"You're seriously tryin' to preach to me? Give me a break, Horikita.

I'm really pissed," Sudou grumbled. "Look, I messed up, but I just can't stop myself from doin' it. Nothing to do in that case, right?"

"I thought you said you were going to carry everyone in the class?" "I never said that. The other guys were asking me to, remember?" he

replied.

"Even so, you have a certain degree of responsibility." "God. Shut up, already. I don't care about that," he huffed.

"You're as childish as always. That's not going to work in the real world, is it?"

"Shut up!" He shot me a fierce glare, as if trying to intimidate me into being quiet. But I wasn't going to give up.

If anyone else had been here, they probably would have caved. Seeing that I didn't waver, Sudou-kun lost his patience and looked away.

"Your weakness is completely obvious," I said. "What will happen if you don't study? What will happen if you lash out? You lack the foresight to think ahead."

"Ah, enough already. Come on! Just leave me alone and knock it off!

Your preaching is gonna make me puke!"

I believed that Sudou-kun wanted to stay at this school and do well.

There had to be a reason he was the way he was. Unless I found the source of that problem, he would be trapped in an endless cycle.

Even if he wanted to be alone, I couldn't leave him. Right here and

now, I would make myself understand him.

"If you don't like it, feel free to hit me," I said.

"Huh? What? You… There ain't no way I could do somethin' like

that!"

"Because I'm a woman? I've said this before, but I am quite strong. I'll

knock you to the ground before your fist reaches me."

"You'll fight me? Man, you really are a weird lady. Well, like you said, no one else came after me. But you did. Just you."

Ayanokouji-kun had pushed me into it, but I didn't feel the need to tell Sudou-kun that. Perhaps Sudou-kun was tiring. He mumbled in a low voice now, as though his anger was leaking away.

"I took the leader job because I thought the sports festival would be easy as pie. I haven't lost to anyone from the other classes. If we did the individual competitions again, I wouldn't lose to anybody. But when people are draggin' ya down in the team contests, there's nothin' you can do. We lost capture the flag and the cavalry battle 'cause of those useless guys. I couldn't stand that."

"I can tell just by looking at you that you hate losing when you're good at something. But is that all there is to it?" Something else was going on here.

Sudou-kun appeared lost in thought for a moment, then replied, "Maybe I just wanted to see how it felt for people to pay attention to me and give me some respect. I guess I wanted to show all the people who made fun of me. Pretty lame, right?"

As he admitted his desires, and that he'd abandoned his goals, he scratched his red-dyed hair.

"So, now I'm completely alone, huh? Well, that's fine. Things'll go back to exactly how they were in junior high," he added.

"..."

I wondered if my words would reach his heart. Ayanokouji-kun had verbally destroyed me in an argument, Ryuuen-kun had defeated me, and my brother had abandoned me. I couldn't believe for an instant that I had any right to reprimand Sudou. I'd always considered him beneath me, but now I felt as though that wasn't true.

Sudou-kun was clumsy, the type of person to act impulsively. He had a volatile personality. But, if I changed my perspective, I could see that he had also been fighting all alone. The fact that he'd had the courage to confront his loneliness meant he was far superior to me.

I awkwardly continued our conversation. "You know, it's strange. My feelings are basically the same as yours."

"Huh? Whaddya mean?"

"The feeling of wanting to be respected. The desire to fight alone. I understand those," I told him. "When I think back, there were signs. During the midterm exams, I felt irritated at the students who couldn't study, you included. I got angry when they couldn't do something so obvious. I didn't want to work with them at all. But in the sports festival, you performed impeccably. You did a lot to carry our unathletic classmates."

Academics and sports. Different as they were, the principles at the heart of both were the same. What I'd felt toward Sudou-kun and the others during the midterms was probably what Sudou-kun was feeling quite strongly right now.

"Then you understand how I feel. Right now, I wanna be alone," he replied.

"And I truly, truly want to leave you be. But if we lose you now, Class D's defeat will be set in stone." This wasn't just Sudou-kun's problem. It would impact our whole class.

"You abandoned the class, though, just like me. Right? So, you don't got any right to lecture me," he replied.

"No, I suppose not."

That was why my words held no weight. Until this very moment, I'd thought the same thing as Sudou-kun.

"You're disappointed in me, right? I'm used to it," he said, dejected. "I was born to worthless people. That's why I'm worthless, too. I came here because I definitely didn't wanna end up like my parents, but I'm turning out just like them."

"It's incorrect to conclude that someone with worthless parents will inevitably turn out worthless themselves. You can't blame other people for how you are or will be. I reject your hypothesis."

"What do you mean?"

"You're still a nobody. Who you will become, though, depends on you and only you. At the very least, you possess incredible athletic ability. You have a rough manner of speaking, but you helped advise a lot of students during practice. That shows me you're not a worthless person. Right now, though, you're trying to run away. If you keep doing that, then you will be worthless."

"Fine. Then just brand me worthless, already. Go ahead. I don't even care anymore," he replied.

"So, you're going to throw in the towel because things aren't going your way?"

No matter what I said to him, he wouldn't respond. Perhaps I was incapable of getting him to open up. The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. The afternoon competitions were about to begin. Sudou-kun definitely wouldn't make it back in time for the scavenger hunt.

"Go back, Horikita."

"No. Not unless I bring you with me."

"Fine, do what you want." Sudou-kun headed toward the elevator. "I'll wait here. Forever."

"Do what you want."

I didn't take my eyes off him until the elevator doors closed.

8.2

"Ugh. Well, that was unfortunate. Just a bit more, and we might've beaten Class B."

"Yeah."

Even with a substitute for Sudou, our opponents crushed us in the four- way tug-of-war. As a result, we'd been knocked down to the bottom ranking.

We tried to coordinate better as a class, but Hirata got hit the hardest.

He'd shouldered the burden of paying for the substitutes, which cost him a lot of points. We were in a desperate situation, and Sudou—our ace—was still absent.

"I don't think Sudou-kun's coming back."

"Hirata, are you going to pay for the next competition, too?" "Yeah, I am. We need it," he replied.

Hirata had paid three times so far, twice for Sudou and once for Horikita, who'd also planned to participate in the four-way tug-of-war. That was no small expense. If he had to pay for the next competition, the total would be 500,000 points. No matter how many private points he said he had, that was still far too much.

"Well, Sudou aside, Horikita should be able to repay you," I said.

Fortunately, Horikita had obtained a ton of points from the last exam, much like Hirata. "Shouldn't you just let them bear the point burden this time? The participants, I mean."

"You might be right, but 100,000 points is a lot, and it's hard to save that many. Also, I'm the one who gave the go-ahead to use substitutes, so I can't exactly go asking for points," he replied.

"Don't you think the people who withdrew are the ones to blame?" Besides, Sudou had punched Hirata. But Hirata didn't really dwell on

that.

"I suppose there's the class's victory to think about, but if we place

well here, our winnings will give us an advantage on future tests. It's better if people participate. But if they have to pay their own way, a lot of students will probably pass on subbing for Sudou."

The students who most needed points for tests also suffered frequent financial troubles. They couldn't risk losing both money and test scores.

The only competitions that remained were the mixed-gender three-

legged race and the last event, the 1200-meter relay. Hirata was going to see if anyone wanted to participate, but at that moment, Kushida came running over to him.

"Um, Hirata-kun, would you mind if I helped, too? I'd like to participate in the three-legged race. Of course, I'll pay the points for it. Is that okay?"

"Huh?"

"I can't let you bear this burden alone. Besides, I want to try my best for the class, and for Horikita-san and Sudou-kun's sake."

"Since you're pretty good at sports, Kushida-san, your offer is welcome."

"Thank you. I'll go tell Chabashira-sensei that I'll participate in Horikita-san's place, then," said Kushida. With that, she ran off.

"Now for a guy. I'll ask around," said Hirata.

"Hey, Hirata. Could I go in as Sudou's substitute? I'll pay the points. I can't guarantee I'll be much help, but I'll try," I said.

"Well… Yeah, sure. I don't mind, of course, but…are you okay with that?" asked Hirata.

"I don't feel right making you shoulder this alone. Besides, I'm a little anxious about the next test. I'd like to get at least one extra point."

With Hirata's permission granted, I chased after Kushida, interrupting the conversation she was already having with Chabashira-sensei.

"So, you're going to be Sudou's substitute, Ayanokouji?" Chabashira- sensei asked.

"Yes."

"Rather unusual, since you tend to prefer watching on the sidelines." "You're taking Sudou-kun's place, then, Ayanokouji-kun? I'm looking

forward to racing with you!" said Kushida.

"Yeah, same. I'm not all that fast, though, so you'll have to forgive me," I replied.

"In the three-legged race, coordination's more important than simple speed," said Kushida.

"Yoo-hoo! Ayanokouji-kun! Oh, Kikyou-chan, too. Looks like we're competing in the same group, huh?" said Ichinose, walking up to us. Beside her was her partner, Shibata.

"Oh, wow, real tough opponents!" Kushida said. "To think the two of you are teaming up…"

"Well, Shibata-kun might be tough, but I'm really not all that special, you know? I haven't gotten first place in anything yet," said Ichinose.

"Really? Wow, that's unexpected," replied Kushida.

"I placed second one time, but I got fourth or fifth for all the rest of my events. To tell you the truth, someone else was supposed to participate in this three-legged race, but I guess she sprained her ankle before lunch. Quite a few people got injured this year," said Ichinose. Apparently, Class B had some absentees of their own.

"Hey, Shibata-kun," Ichinose said to her partner. "Is it okay if I tie the cord now?"

"Okay."

The Class B pair cheerily tied their legs together.

"Well then, I suppose we should… Um, would it be okay if you tied us up? It'd be weird for a guy to do that," I told Kushida.

"Sure. But isn't that strange? I mean, you tied the cord when you practiced with Horikita-san, didn't you, Ayanokouji-kun?" Wow, she really had been observing the class like a hawk.

"She's…well, an exception. I can't act the same way around other

girls."

"Are you saying Horikita's special, then?"

It'd be more accurate to say she was someone with special status, but

that would be difficult to explain.

"Anyway, I can't believe Horikita-san went off looking for Sudou-kun like that," Kushida commented. "It's just that, well, she absolutely never cuts class. She's very conscientious. Don't you think it's odd?"

"Yeah, I was surprised."

"You didn't really look all that surprised, though." As Kushida said that, she crouched down and pulled the cord around my leg.

"I suppose it's hard for people to read my face. Always has been." "You mean, you have a good poker face?"

"Kushida."

"Hold on just a little longer, okay? I'll be finished soon," Kushida said sweetly while she expertly tied the cord around our legs.

I decided to cut to the chase.

"It's you. You're the traitor who leaked Class D's participation table to Class C."

"Come on, Ayanokouji-kun. What's the matter with you? Even as a joke, that's a cruel thing to say," she replied.

"I saw you. You took a picture with your phone of the participation table we drew on the blackboard."

"I did that to record the information, so I would remember." "Didn't we all decide to write down our turns by hand, though?" "Oh, really? Sorry, I forgot." As Kushida finished tying us together,

she slowly stood, beaming her usual smile. "Is that all that made you suspect me?"

"Sorry, but I'm sure I'm right. If it weren't true, Class C couldn't have massacred us like this," I replied.

It was rare for me to be standing this close to Kushida, just the two of us. This was the perfect opportunity for a chat.

"Um, but even if someone leaked Class D's participation table, that doesn't necessarily mean Class C could crush us, right?" Kushida asked.

"That's right." Class C hadn't been completely unmatched in every competition, which made it difficult to level any accusations. Even if they'd figured out Class D's entire order, they still wouldn't have known everything about Classes A and B. However, the leak would've significantly raised Class C's chances of winning.

"Hey, Ayanokouji-kun. Assuming that I am responsible for leaking Class D's information… If my taking a picture led you to determine that, it must mean you knew the participation table was leaked, right? In that case, why didn't you change the table after I took the picture? Couldn't you have submitted a new participation table later as a countermeasure? If you did that, the picture I took would've been useless, don't you think?"

"Pointless. That wouldn't matter if the traitor was a Class D student." "What do you mean?"

"Say we altered the participation table just like you said, Kushida.

Even if we submitted the new table secretly, as long as the traitor was from Class D, they could inspect the new list at any time. Anyone in our class had the right to see it," I replied.

"But if you hid the table until the last possible minute before submitting it, even if someone did happen to see it, they wouldn't have had time to meddle."

"That's true enough, I suppose."

"Ah, but doing something like that might end up throwing the rest of the class into chaos later. That wouldn't be good, either."

Kushida was right. If we'd waited to submit the table just before the deadline, like she said, we'd have reduced the likelihood of traitors—but also severely confused our classmates. Likewise, the other students would've resented us if we secretly changed the roster without consulting them. The ideal countermeasure would have been to consider the possibility of a leak from the very beginning, come up with multiple versions of the participation table as a class, and submit one at random.

"I understand what you're getting at, but I'm not the culprit, okay? I don't want to suspect any of my classmates, either," said Kushida.

"In that case, how about we check with Chabashira-sensei? I'm sure she can tell us whether any students specifically asked to see the participation table after we submitted it," I replied.

"..."

Kushida shut her mouth. For the first time that day, her smile disappeared. She'd just implicitly confirmed my suspicions. However, a thin smile crept back onto her lips right away.

"Hee hee. You really aren't an ordinary person, are you, Ayanokouji-

kun?"

She laughed. This was a face I'd seen before. The face of the secret

Kushida.

"I suppose there's nothing I can do, now that I've been found out. Yes.

I leaked the participation table," she told me. "You admit it?"

"Yes. If you asked Chabashira-sensei, you would've found me out anyway. It was just a matter of time. Besides, even if I tell you the truth, Ayanokouji-kun, I'm confident I won't be exposed. You haven't forgotten, have you? About my uniform, which you touched?"

She was threatening me. "No. I can't expose you as the culprit. That's certainly true. Incidentally, this reminds me—during the exam on the cruise ship, we ended up with the results we did because you had Ryuuen tell all of the students that you were the VIP, right? Then you asked Ryuuen for a favor in exchange for that information."

"And what would such a favor be? What could I want enough to betray the whole class?"

"It's what you asked me about before, isn't it?"

"Ah ha ha! Yes, that's it. You really figured it out, Ayanokouji-kun." "I'd like to hear it from your own lips," I told her.

"I wanted to expel her. Expel Horikita Suzune. That's what," she replied.

"I just don't understand why you're going after Horikita so relentlessly." I'd hoped for the two of them to resolve their issues before the sports festival, but it hadn't worked out that way.

"I'm going to get Horikita-san expelled, no matter what you say. I won't change my mind," said Kushida.

"And you're okay with sabotaging Class D to do that?"

"That's right. I don't care if I never make it to Class A, if it means Horikita-san gets expelled. Oh, but don't misunderstand me—once she's gone, I'll unite everyone, and we'll work toward reaching Class A together. I promise," said Kushida.

Apparently, there was no changing her mind. She was entirely focused on her goal. If she had to, she'd probably rope in people like Katsuragi, Ichinose, or Sakayanagi to aid her.

"Oh, but I reconsidered one thing. I added you to the list of people I want expelled, Ayanokouji-kun. After you and Horikita have been eliminated, then I'll aim for Class A," said Kushida.

She still wore that gorgeous smile. Her expression was almost dazzling.

"Have you considered that Ryuuen might expose you?"

"I'm not an idiot. I obviously wouldn't do anything that left any evidence behind. Ryuuen-kun is a liar who entraps people without batting an eyelash. Well, I gambled on whether or not he would betray me," said Kushida.

I wanted to tell her that there were plenty of ways to deceive someone. A real mastermind would have found a way to make someone else the traitor in their stead. A pawn to help them achieve victory.

"Horikita-san's taken a real beating in this sports festival," Kushida added. "It's too bad you couldn't save her, isn't it?"

I wasn't so sure about that.

With that conversation done, we ran the three-legged race, silent hostility in the air between us.

8.3

Almost an hour had passed since Sudou-kun left. That meant the final competition would begin any minute now. I imagined that Hirata-kun and the others would put up a fight, but they couldn't really expect much.

I was helpless. I could do absolutely nothing except stand around in a pointless daze. I'd spent an hour right in front of the elevator.

Even if I returned to camp and withdrew, I didn't have the funds to get a substitute. Ryuuen-kun was getting all my points using blackmail. But that wasn't why I couldn't leave. If Sudou-kun returned to find me gone, he'd be heartbroken. Besides, despite the fact that Class D's defeat was practically set in stone, I wanted to do whatever I could. I believed Sudou-kun would come back. That was all there was to it. And then…

"Did…did you seriously wait around here?"

"You came back, Sudou-kun." I kept my cool, but inside, I was glad. I was so glad.

"It's already over, isn't it? The sports festival, I mean."

"It might be. But if we go back right now, we may still make it in time for the last competition," I said.

"So? What's the point? We've already lost," said Sudou-kun. "You're right that the outcome is bleak. I had to withdraw due to my

injury, and Kouenji-kun was absent from the start. And you left partway through, Sudou-kun. Compared to the other classes, our classmates don't stand a chance at winning." The recommended-participant events I'd wanted to compete in would've ended disastrously, anyway. "Since you've come back, can I assume you want to return to the competition?"

"Nope. I just came down here to see if you were still hanging around, is all."

"I see. Well, while I waited for the past hour, I've gone over some things. What kind of person I am, what kind of person you are… Things like that. I concluded that you and I really are similar after all."

"We ain't got anythin' in common. You and I are way too different." "No. We're very similar. The more I think about it, the more I see that

it's true."

I spoke from the bottom of my heart.

"Always alone. Always solitary. But you believed you could do it, and you tried," I continued. "If there were a difference between us, it would be that one of us wants acknowledgement from a single person, and the other wants it from a large group. You already know a bit about the student council president, right?"

"Yeah, that prim-and-proper guy?" "He's my older brother."

"Oh? So… Wait. You said something about fighting with him, right?" asked Sudou-kun.

"My relationship with him is far from good. Because I lack talent, we aren't close. My older brother is incredible, and dislikes being associated with someone incompetent like me. That's why I've tried my absolute hardest to become an incredible person, too. I put everything I had into trying to achieve that goal, from academics to athletics. Even right now, I'm trying."

"W-wait a minute. Aren't you already really smart and good at sports?" "From the average person's perspective, I suppose. But compared to

my brother, I'm nothing special." He had likely reached my current aptitude while he was in junior high, or perhaps even earlier. "That's why I've been running straight ahead, not caring what anyone else thinks of me. As a result, I'm always alone. I thought that was fine, though. I believed that, as long as I was an astounding student, my brother would care about me. I thought that, if I participated in a ton of competitions, he would stop and look at me. That was why I told you that I wanted the anchor position in the relay. I had this idea that, if I was the anchor, he might cheer for me."

By confronting Sudou-kun's weakness, I'd also confronted my own. "He really doesn't acknowledge you? Even though you're tryin' so

hard?" asked Sudou-kun.

"He doesn't. But I finally realized something: I'm not incredible.

Ryuuen-kun's thoroughly beaten me, and I haven't gotten one single result I'm satisfied with, either. I want to make it to Class A to earn my brother's respect. That hasn't changed. But the methods I've used to achieve that goal have been wrong. I'm not alone. If I have allies, I'm closer to my goal."

"You're not givin' up?"

"If there's a difference between you and I, that might be it. I will never, ever give up. I'll strive to become someone worthy of my brother's admiration," I answered.

"That sounds like a painful path to take."

"I suppose. But we aren't alone in this world. There are billions of people on this planet, and innumerable people in our lives. We can't ignore them."

A person couldn't survive alone. The sports festival had certainly been an ordeal for our class, but at the same time, it had been revelatory.

"I said that you'd turn to violence again, then coldly pushed you away.

But that wasn't the right answer. If you ever stray from your path in future, I'll bring you back to it. So, until we graduate, please lend me your strength. I promise that I'll lend you all mine, too." I looked him right in the eye and didn't avert my gaze.

"Just a little while ago, it didn't seem like that was the case at all. Why do your words seem so serious now?" he asked.

"It might be because I've finally admitted the truth, which is that I'm a worthless person. I've avoided that fact." I wouldn't have said that to just anyone. "I'll ask you again, Sudou-kun. Lend me your strength."

"Horikita…"

Sudou-kun balled his hands tightly into fists, then hit himself on the forehead.

"Ah. What the hell am I feelin' right now?! I don't get it, but it's like… I feel like I've finally had my eyes opened."

He stepped toward me.

"I'll work with you, Horikita. I…I feel like someone's finally noticed me outside basketball."

As he said that, I felt myself smile. I'd never experienced this before. I wondered what the intense throbbing in my chest was. I knew that it wasn't friendship, or love. It was something else.

Embarrassing as it still felt to admit to myself, I now had an ally. That was different from Ayanokouji-kun, or my brother. It was something I'd lacked.

Perhaps I had just taken my first small step forward.