FOURTEEN

FOURTEEN - WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO(16/03/2021)

A slow agonising week had passed, the weather was still breathing it's warm breath on everyone's skin, tinting their cheeks with a light Summers love. She had spent time with her siblings down at the park, picnics were a popular pastime this season. Herself and Daphne had walked hand in hand around the local area with Colin and Anthony trailing behind, being protective brothers.

After the heated argument between both sisters and Anthony, they had tried to keep their distance yet their strong sibling bond brought them back to each other. They enjoyed each other's company as long as engagement not courting was mentioned. Calista could stay mad at Anthony until death but she chose not to, she loved him dearly yet he was very ignorant to his sisters feelings.

A weird feeling had her stomach churned as the presence of Lord Ramsey was unexpected, to say the very least. He had approached her in a gentle manner, never one to be abrupt with the young woman. She had sighed in contentment at Daphne before he stood before her, yet still held a smile on her face at the sight on him. He looked ravishingly handsome.

He took notice at the Bridgerton brothers, giving them a tight nod to respect them and spoke to the two sisters, lovingly.

"Well isn't it the most beautiful debutants in Society. I hope you are keeping well Daphne. May I have a word with your sister?" He asked Daphne, respectfully seeking approval not to seem rude, she nodded. It wasn't that Daphne didn't like Lord Ramsey, she didn't understand their relationship. She knew they were lovers, they shared every aspect of their lives together and yet, Calista refused to marry the love of her life. It was puzzling to say the least.

Calista took Arthur's arm as they sauntered in front of her family, quietly chatting to each other.

"I see you are now courting Bassett." He finally brought up, to which Calista acted as though nothing was wrong. She turned her face to his and awaited ridicule yet it never came.

"It's common knowledge, I suppose." She muttered.

"Why do you torture me so? You are mines yet I am no longer yours." He quietly whispered.

"Perhaps I have gone mad, Dove." She sighed yet took no measure to correct him. She would forever be his in her heart yet she no longer wanted to settle down with him. She no longer wanted to share sweet laughter with him as they stayed up until early hours of the morning, she no longer wanted him to read banned books to her; filled with passion. She would forever love him; she would never be in love with him again. She was too comfortable being attached to him for sex. Not his soul.

Something that nobody could know about her.

It was crazy how she had spent time at the countryside away from Arthur and she fell in love with the silence, she liked falling asleep on her own, she was a great believer in staying single for the rest of her days.

She adored feeling sexual around herself, she was confident. She loved herself. Exploring her own body was something that was pleasurable physically and mentally. Exploring another body gave her the control that she desired.

She never knew sex existed until she tastefully figured it all out with Arthur, it was a new hidden adventure in life which was unspeakable especially for young woman. Nobody spoke about where pleasure came from, the anatomy never left the mouths of mamas who dreaded the day when they would quietly and quickly explain intercourse to their daughters- missing all the important details.

She felt alive.

She supposedly thought if she could feel alive with Arthur, there could be a selection of choices patiently waiting for her.

Arthur was now in a complicated status of ex-lover, lover for life. She would never disregard him but she didn't want to marry him and she let him know in many occasion since her return.

"Anthony told me that I am to wed you, eventually." She abruptly stopped walking, Arthur joining me.

"Cal, you know fine well. I would never force you to marry me. Simply loving you from a close distance is enough for me." He held her hand as she gasped from the display of affection which was public and terribly against all unspoken rules of society, luckily nobody was around except her family who were already glaring at them.

"One day you will look at me with hatred in your eyes." She laughed. It would happen eventually, like it was written in the stars. Arthur Ramsey was not her soulmate, he was not hers to toy with but she couldn't stop.

"You're kidding. How could I ever hate the infamous Miss Bridgerton. I think my life would be boring without you." He looked up to the sky and they continued to promenade.

"Meet me tonight. I need to taste you one last time." He whispered.