The McPuffin Part 9

The McPuffin Part 9

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"Miss Akiyama?"

"Hm?" The librarian looked up from her book to where I'd hoisted myself up, my elbows resting atop her desk and my feet dangling a bit. Two years and I was still a runt. "What is it Jacob sweetie?"

"I've got a friend who could use a library card."

"Oh?" she glanced over at Makoto, whose head easily cleared the desk, damnit, "And who is this?"

The tall girl shied away some, her hands fiddling behind her back. She was only eight, but she was big for her age and was surprisingly shy at times. So I prompted, "This is Rosebu–"

*Thwack!*

"Gack!" I dropped from the desk as she slapped me upside the head.

"I said don't call me that!"

"Then introduce yourself damnit!"

"Jacob! What did I tell you about swearing in this library?"

I pouted, hands going behind my back, "Not to. Sorry Miss Akiyama."

Satisfied, the middle aged librarian turned to my newer friend, "And what's your name sweetie?"

Green eyes glared at me, and I just raised my eyebrows. Looking away, Makoto ducked her head, "Makoto, Miss Akiyama."

"Well Makoto, is it true you want a library card?"

Hiding behind her bangs, Makoto traced small circles in the ground with her foot, "No."

"Did the mean little Jacob talk you into it hun?"

The tall girl shot me a glare, and I just stuck my tongue out at her, completely unrepentant, "Yes."

"You don't have to get one if you don't want to sweetie, and I'd need your mother or father's permission first."

"It sounded fun…"

"How so sweetie?"

"He said there'd be stories of princesses and dragons and knights…"

Miss Akiyama shot me a questioning look and I crossed my arms across my chest, "Hey, just because I only check out non-fiction doesn't mean I don't know what fiction's got to offer."

The librarian turned back to her, "Well, he's not lying, but are you sure?"

Makoto chewed her lip briefly before nodding quickly, "Mhm."

"Okay then sweetie, I'll let you check out a book, but you have to promise me you'll bring it back." Green eyes darted up, a little sparkle of eagerness in them in spite of her assertions otherwise. I could spin a good tale given the opportunity, "Now, I'm trusting you since you're a friend of Jacob's here. And if you want to check out more, you'll have to bring your mother or father to come get you a proper library card, okay?"

The guilt trip went right over Makoto's head as she nodded eagerly, but since I intended to introduce her and Ami today I think it'd be okay, and Ami was a stickler for the rules. The blue haired girl would put on a far better guilt trip on her than I ever could.

A small, almost motherly smile appeared on Miss Akiyama's face as she stepped out around the desk, "Alright sweetie, let me show you where the fantasy section is, I doubt Jacob knows, since he's a silly boy."

Makoto giggled and stuck her tongue out at me, and I replied with every bit of grace and composure as could be expected of a six year old. I stuck my tongue back out at her.

"Now don't do that, little ladies shouldn't stick out their tongue." The reprimanding look she sent at me was eloquent enough to say 'stop provoking her!', "And you'll stay here Jacob and not cause any trouble."

"Yes Miss Akiyama." Both of us parroted.

Gently taking Makoto's smaller hand in hers, the librarian led her through the library as I waited at the front desk for Ami, running through scenarios in my head on how to introduce the two. The similarities were too striking for me to think it was entirely coincidence, and I had an inkling that the two of them would quickly become friends given the opportunity.

A small smile found itself on my face as I held my hands together behind my back. I was getting someone into reading and with any luck, introducing them to someone that'd be a friend for life.

It was a good day.

-oOo-​

"So they don't breathe fire so much as spit it? And they prefer to just have burning mouths?"

"Yes, that is correct," Enitan said with a nod, her short corn-rows bobbing slightly as she did. She actually had longer hair than her compatriots, whose hair was all shorn short.

"Fascinating. And you're certain that they're omnivorous?"

"Omnivorous?" she asked, tilting her head almost comically far to the side. With their foot long necks, they were each between six and seven feet tall, but they appeared even taller while atop their hyena mounts.

"Eat both meat and plants," I explained easily, "Like people."

"Oh! Oh yes," Enitan's head bobbed quickly before she frowned, "I've seen a fire hippo eat a whole tree before…"

One of her guards piped up, "I saw a bigger one eat an entire bone lioness before…"

I made a mental note to ask about the bone lions later, "As I suspected then…"

"Ah, this is your village?" Jaime asked, walking beside me. While I had the hippo carcass thrown over my shoulder, using just a bit of subtle metallic strength to carry it, Jaime had the alligator thrown over his shoulders. He was struggling just a bit due to the distance and keeping up with the hyenas at the same time, even if I was making it look easy by cheating.

Under more normal circumstances, I'd have done this without my Ability as a bit of training, but right now I needed to maintain the appearance of strength and invincibility. I would have taken the alligator from Jaime to ease his burden, but there wasn't really room on my own shoulders and Jaime had insisted.

"Yes, this is our glorious village!" Enitan said, gesturing dramatically at the collection of mostly reed and grass huts… first glance indicated mobility wasn't a major concern, they were pretty well interwoven and likely difficult to break down… but also it was probably not too difficult to build in the first place. Hmm… easy to rebuild in case stuff was destroyed…? I'd have to ask.

"Delightful~" I said cheerily, much to the cringing of the mounted ladies around us, "I do so hope they appreciate what we're bringing, a wonderful trade of culture and food!"

Jaime glanced over at me beneath the brim of his hat, his mustache twitching as his gaze eloquently asked, 'Are you taking the piss?'

I just grinned, 'Oh I am so taking the piss!'

"Enitan! Why do you bring men to our village unbound?!"

My eyes traced the sound of the voice, finding that yes, the foot+ long necks were just a thing for them, with a bunch of rings of various metals seeming to almost prop it up, covering up the entirety of the neck…

Enitan's head actually ducked back behind her own shoulder, something only possible with her extra long neck, shying away even as what I assumed was her boss and a dozen more women riding hyenas. So of course I'm going to be cheeky, "We come bearing food! As we proved ourselves in combat we were told that we could learn of the McPuffins we seek and your great culture!"

Was it mean? Probably. But was it fun? Oh yes.

The lead lady made a face like she was sucking on a lemon, she had all golden rings covering her over a foot long neck rather than the various mixes of metal rings the other women had, also having the corn-rows that Enitan did. She turned towards our 'escort', "Truly?"

Enitan shrank away even more in embarrassment, so I hammed it up, "Yes! It was quite glorious!"

The lead lady turned back to me with a glare, "And what if I say you have not proven yourself to my expectations?"

"I'm quite willing to prove myself."

She twirled her spear, a light tap of her heels against the sides of her mount causing it to step forward as she challenged, "Then do so."

Deliberately, I grinned slowly. But I had no idea what I was going to do. She was obviously the leader, and they were all deferring to her… I had no real concept of how strong she was, at least compared to Enitan, so just blitzing her could get me stabbed with Haki or something that otherwise could ruin my day… so…

My grin became devilish, "Don't blink." My arm flexed and the hippo went airborne.

Reflexively, their eyes followed the movement, tracing the upward motion of the corpse, but I was already in motion, my grin long gone and my face blank, "Soru."

Kudos to the leader of the group, her eyes snapped back down just as I landed lightly atop the back of her mount's head. At this distance I could see that she actually had some silver in her hair and a few lines in her face, it only took a fraction of a second for her to realize what was going on, rearing back as her eyes widened in fear. That gave me a better measure of her ability. Her right arm rearing back to try and line the speartip with me at this range, and I knew I had her.

My left hand flexed into metal, and her attack was obvious even to my eyes let alone my observation haki, "Tetsu Shigan."

So I shattered her spear just behind the head with my finger.

She jerked back in the saddle, clutching the now broken stick in her hand as my left hand swung up, index finger extended. There was fear from her as my metallic black finger leveled with her nose, and I could nearly see the thought process in that instant. I'd snapped her spear with a finger, and now I was far too close with that same finger within inches of her face, and she had no time to react. My arm extended–

"Boop~"

The long-necked leader blinked stupidly as I smiled, the tip of my index finger pressing lightly against the tip of her nose.

"Mother-?!" Oh, huh… sorry Enitan? Didn't know? Your mom provoked me?

"Lady Malaika!"

"Get away from her!"

A half dozen threats pinged against my Observation Haki, but if normal conventions held true then they were either weaker than her or of similar strength, and she was basically no threat… still, just to be sure. Without a word or breaking the staring contest I had with her, I flexed my body hard, turning it into metal even as I used Tekkai. A half dozen spears glanced uselessly against my suddenly metallic shirt and vest, barely noticeable as distant sensations… really, I felt it only in the metal 'cloth' itself rather than in my metallic body.

Silence reigned for a moment before there was a *thud* as the hippo's body finally dropped to the ground. My smile became a grin as I balanced there atop her hyena's head and neck, six spears pressed uselessly against my sides, "So…" I applied more pressure to her nose, making her long neck crane backwards, "Have I proven myself sufficiently?"

"You-!" One of her guards snarled, making several quick stabs at my side, each one clanging uselessly as she dulled her spear before she swung it at my throat. Unfortunately for her, I was very aware of her attempt, as I was suppressing my first reaction to dodge everything in order to intimidate them more by literally ignoring their attacks.

*Clang!*

Lady Malaika visibly swallowed as I didn't break my gaze, the bladed edge of her subordinate's spear against the side of my metallic neck, her eyes flicked to the side and I **felt** a hint of hope from her-?

"Get away from her or we'll–" Enitan and her own riders had raised their spears, aiming them at Jaime as he stood between two of them. I breathed in, body tensing, did I need to punch some holes in some faces–?

"Dos Equis!" The gator was thrown into the air and in a smooth motion Jaime's rapier was drawn and flashed to either side of him.

"Eeeeek!"

"My top!"

"My companion may be stronger than I, but I am no pushover~" there was a small thud as Jaime caught the crocodile on his shoulder, his other hand still holding his rapier out.

Okay, no, I don't need to punch a hole in a face. Good. Never liked doing that.

I grinned at Lady Malaika and drawled out, "So…?"

"You… are allowed in the village."

"Good to hear~" I said cheerily before spinning on my heel, deliberately changing my body language entirely as I walked right off of the oversized hyena's head and dropped to the ground, blithely ignoring the spears scraping against my sides as I did. I didn't even glance back as I walked cheerily towards the hippo's corpse, lifting it up onto my shoulder, transforming my insides into metal so I didn't have to plant my feet for the leverage. When I'd turned back around though, to my mild surprise, Lady Malaika had composed herself entirely.

Her head was held high, and her expression was almost familiar... had I seen it on Rei some time...? She'd tucked the head of her broken spear into her leapord-skin bikini and was holding the broken shaft quite regally, "You have proven yourself sufficiently, come, we have much to discuss and those beasts need to be cooked."

The warriors arranged themselves around us almost as an honor guard as I fell into step beside Jaime. Quietly, he leaned in and asked, "Why didn't you kill them?"

"Mostly just trying to get information, just slaughtering them left and right isn't exactly helpful and would make them hostile rather than just merely afraid." I whispered back, thinking of not too long ago about the Jello pirates.

"Ah," he nodded, "Makes sense."

Curious, I whispered back, "Why didn't you kill them?"

"I was following your lead," he said with a small shrug.

I smiled gratefully at him as I whispered, "Thank you." He'd made my job a fair bit easier.

His mustache curled even further in on itself, "No problemo mi amigo."

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The McPuffin Part 9 End