The McPuffin Part 3

The McPuffin Part 3

A.N.)- Bit of a small update today. Trying to make sure I've got the general sweeps of the character arcs of The Past sketched out as well as sufficient characters for the rest of this arc.

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"104… 105… 106… 107… 108… 109…"

"Faster!"

"Yes momma," I panted as I hefted the weighted training swords, one in each hand and tried to follow through.

I never expected to use two swords, but it's what momma had done and she wanted to pass it on, "110! 111! 112! 113"

I didn't get the sense that she really expected me to learn how to use swords like she did, but… she wanted a legacy. And I could accept that. I wanted to make her happy, and it's not like I didn't want to become the best I could be.

"Put your back into it! Plant those feet better!" The rolled up newspaper lashed out to swat at me a few times.

I clenched my teeth as I tried to force my body to listen to the demands, "Yes momma!" Sweat flew from my skin as I continued through the sequence of strikes and chops against the post, the weighted swords slamming into it hard, "114! 115! 116!"

Sure, I was five years old. Sure, I was swinging swords nearly the size of me. Sure, this was absurd. But people in this world were absurd, there didn't seem to be hard limits on how strong, fast, or tough a human body could get. It was fascinating, what mechanisms were different that removed what should have been hard physics limits-? "117! 118-! 119-!"

"Don't slow down!" the rolled up newspaper lashed out to swat against my sides, making me flinch just a bit, "A Marine won't give you a chance to slow down!"

"120! 121!"

Gotta say though, I'll be so happy when this is over and I can slip off to the crows nest and read the book I'd secreted away.

-oOo-​

"So, Zazu, what do you think? Why am I here?" I asked the toucan sitting on my forearm.

"Squawk!" I smiled a bit at the bird as I kicked my feet, sitting atop the crow's nest of the Cake as the sun set.

Then I sighed, "I don't know either… family's all dead, crew's almost certainly dead. I got really lucky. They caught us completely by surprise y'know. I didn't even have my normal outfit on."

"I…" swallowing, I took a shuddering breath, "I lost everything I had that day… the Patch was my life… it was my rock… it was… it was all I had…"

Slowly, I reached out, carefully so as not to startle the bird that had landed on me. The toucan looked at me warily as I gently put my hand atop its head, softly scratching beneath its feathers. After a moment of watching me, the bird's eyes began to slowly close and it made a small, happy crooning noise. A small smile appeared on my face at that as I just **felt** the bird sitting on my forearm, simple and warily content.

"You probably don't get that, do you? Losing everything…" My eyes closed briefly, a few tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes.

The toucan bumped my hand that had stopped petting it, "Tcheheheh… alright, alright…" A small, sad smile on my face, I returned to scratching his head, "So… my whole purpose in life, protecting and supporting my family and crew, is gone. I don't know what I want to do…"

A half sob, half laugh escaped me, "I… I'm on a pirate ship because I'm a pirate, but I never even wanted it… I never wanted to be a pirate… but I never had a choice… I was born to it… and I was picked up by pirates… what are the fucking odds…?"

"I… I don't have a reason to be a pirate anymore…" tears leaked slowly from my eyes, each breath shaky, "The entire reason I kept being a pirate was because it's what my family was… but now… now the only people I have a connection to are friends and a lover…" A worrying thought occurred to me, "A lover that may have moved on…"

"Then why do you want to go back?" I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sudden voice behind me, sending the toucan fluttering away with an unhappy squawk. With a soft sound, Bonney hoisted herself up onto the edge of the crows nest beside me, "If she isn't waiting for you anymore, why go back?"

I stared at her for a moment before sighing and wiping the tears away, "I kind of came up here to be alone Bonney."

She snorted as she balanced her ass on the edge of the wooden basket, "And you're talking about leaving my crew," she rebutted, "I kind of need to know what the decision is."

"You know what I mean," I socked her in the arm with a frown before slumping forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

"Yeah," she growled, rubbing her arm before giving me a shove, "I mean you're up here moping."

I glared at her, but she met my gaze unflinchingly. I looked away first, sighing as my gaze dropped to the deck well below us, "I'm up here to try and figure out what the flying fuck I want to do with my life."

Bonney snorted in amusement, "That's easy, whatever you want."

"Yeah, but what do I want?" I fired back before sniffling some, wiping my nose of the snot my near crying had brought on, "That's the problem."

"That's not an easy question?" she made it a question.

"No. Not in the sense of 'what do I want enough to risk my life for'."

Realization dawned on Bonney's face for a moment before a more calculating look overtook it, "Money?"

I shrugged, shifting some to get more comfortable sitting on the edge of the crows nest, "Never really mattered to me. I don't care about money or treasure so much as the stuff you get with it."

"Respect?" Turning to the woman beside me, I raised an eyebrow at her in disbelief, getting an amused snort, "Yeah, you don't give a fuck about that either. Power?"

"I'm already more terrifying than the vast majority of people you'll meet in the four Blues," I pointed out, watching the sun dip towards the horizon, the sky a splash of colors, "And I have no real desire to lord over people."

"What about that whole 'knowledge is my treasure' bullshit?"

"It is. The question is whether it's a treasure worth risking my life over. I can learn stuff while on Gin- Mireniamu, just not as much as I could on the Grand Line." I was quiet for a moment, musing on that, "And I don't think it is worth my life, not to me, not in comparison to a quiet life experimenting and learning."

Bonney grunted, obviously trying to think of something else to dangle in front of me as a carrot to keep me here, "So you'll be leaving the crew to go back to your girlfriend."

"At the end of Paradise, the first half of the Grand Line… yeah. I think I will."

"Even if she's not waiting for you anymore?" Bonney asked, pressing, "Even if she's moved on?"

I looked out at the ocean, a small smile on my face, "To be fair, we're friends first, lovers second." While I'd be sad if she'd have moved on, it wouldn't shatter my heart into itsy bitsy pieces and we could still get along provided her new squeeze wasn't a douchenozzle in need of a facepunching.

"Really." Bonney said, packing quite a bit of disbelief into the word.

"Really really," I fired back, amused by her disbelief, "We've only been able to be together for maybe a week or two at a time, usually less and with months in between." While I cared for Ami, I wouldn't have said I loved her. The potential was there, but… we'd never really been together long enough for that to happen.

"So… why go back?" Bonney asked, seeming genuinely curious, "If she's barely family, if you barely know her, why give up your freedom to chain yourself to her?"

"Tchah! Because I don't want to die," I pointed out, grinning a bit before my face melted into a more melancholy expression, "And without a reason to be a pirate any more it… it'd be nice to settle down."

After a moment of staring at me, she deadpanned, "… you're eighteen."

"I've been sailing since I was born," I countered, "And pirating isn't what I wanted to do with my life anyways."

"… so you're going to leave." Bonney said quietly, looking out at the sea as the Cake rocked quietly in the waves.

Elbowing her arm gently, I reminded her, "Not until the end of the first half of the Grand Line. I said I wouldn't ditch you and I meant it. And fuck everyone that says otherwise, I'm going to do everything I can to ensure y'all can survive the New World. But when we get to the end of the Grand Line, I'm going to return to Gin- Mireniamu and at least give life off a boat a shot." Again.

Bonney crossed her arms, purple eyes scowling out at the ocean as she sat beside me. After a few moments silence, she sighed, "I don't like it, but it's your life. Do what the fuck you want."

"Of course I will," I gave her a small grin, "Pirate."

She raised an eyebrow at me, seemingly torn between amusement and frustration, "I thought you didn't want to be one ya' ass."

My smile faded as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon, "… what we want isn't always the way reality is."

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The McPuffin Part 3 End