The McPuffin Part 10

The McPuffin Part 10

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"Come on, it's not that much further!"

I laughed, tugging Ami along as we ran.

"Slow down Jacob!" she said with a small giggle of her own.

Makoto and Ami hadn't exactly 'hit it off', Makoto was a tomboy and Ami was very much a shy little nerd. But once I got Makoto to realize that Ami didn't get to play much outside, things sort of took on their own life. It'd been rather adorable, the brown haired girl had planted her feet, her hands on her hips as a steely determination had appeared in her eyes. 'You are playing outside.'

"Keep up!"

There was only so much that I could do to convince Ami's mom to give her more leeway, I was only here so often. It was impossibly frustrating for my recently seven year old self, but Makoto was making progress over the months it'd been since I introduced them.

Makoto was so much better at pestering Ami's mother than I ever could be, and Ami was actually allowed to go meet her friends coming in from port. Makto's parents were merchants and had taken her with them on a trip, and she was coming back in while I was in town, it was going to be a great little reunion between the three of us!

The fact that I was there with her was, surprisingly, a good thing. Ami's mother didn't really like me, but I think she felt safer with me accompanying her daughter. The island was mostly safe, but there was always the assurance of a scary 'street rat' with her daughter.

I could see the ship unloading as we ran up to the dock, I grinned, "Come on! There it... is..." I started to trail off as I approached, slowing down.

Ami hesitantly asked, "… Jacob?"

"They were hit by pirates..." I knew the look of the ship, the blasted hull, the holes, the splinters, the tears in the sails even with them hoisted. I frowned, "Come on." I took off, nearly dragging Ami this time.

The sailors were slowly escorting the passengers down the gangplank and off of the ship, my eyes darting about amongst the small crowd of people already on the dock and the local police talking to them. I hadn't been here when they'd left, but I knew what Makoto's parents looked like. The passengers looked haggard though, some with bandages and others noticeably injured, not to mention the sailors themselves.

"Where's Makoto?" Ami almost whispered as we slowed down at the edge of the crowd.

"That's what I intend to find out," I nearly growled before tightening my grip on Ami's hand and diving into the crowd, pushing where necessary as I looked for the brown haired girl or her parents.

Over the soft murmurs of the crowd, I shouted, "Makoto!" I utterly ignored the looks we got from the adults because fuck them, we were looking for our friend, "Makoto!"

"Jacob...?"

"There!" Ami exclaimed, pointing even as she started to tug me in that direction, "Makoto!"

My heart fell as I saw the tall nine year old girl... alone aside from a sailor standing beside her. Her eyes were still rimmed with red as she stared at us as we rushed over. We stopped just in front of her, Ami out of breath as we both looked up at the taller girl, who whispered out, "Ami... Jacob..." Her bottom lip began to tremble, tears starting to gather in the corner of her eyes.

I hesitated. I felt guilty, my heart aching. Even if I didn't consider myself a pirate, even if I didn't want to be one, even if we were never connected to the ones that had taken them... my family were pirates, and pirates had been the ones to hurt her.

Ami though, had no such hesitation. She practically threw herself at her taller friend, wrapping her arms tightly around her and burying her face beneath Makoto's chin. The taller girl practically buckled, wrapping her arms around the blue haired genius as she started to quietly sob against Ami's shoulder.

Almost tentatively, I reached out and put a hand on Makoto's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. The guilt was irrational, I knew, but it'd be hard to get into that hug with them clinging as tightly as they were–

"Look," the sailor that had been standing beside Makoto started gruffly and insensitively, "Kids, I know it's sad but can we move it along? I've got other–"

"Diarrhea Joke Foot!"

"Diarrhea what–"

*Wham!*

"–GUH!?"

My foot had lashed up in a hard side straight kick to the sailor's solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him and sending him falling to the side with a wheeze.

"Asshole." I grumbled, "Have some taaAAct-?!"

I nearly yelped as an arm wrapped around my head and pulled me into the hug, Makoto crushing Ami and me to her chest as she cried softly, "Thanks you..."

Without any words, I wrapped my arms around the two girls, slightly awkwardly at this angle and given that I was shorter than both of them, but no words were needed as tears fell onto Ami and me as we clung to our friend. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but no matter what, we'd help her through it.

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"Makoto?"

She sniffled, wiping her nose on her short sleeve, "Yes?"

Ami handed the taller girl her handkerchief from the front pocket of her sundress, which was accetped gratefully, "You can stay with my mother and me until we figure things out..."

Makoto blew her nose into the handkerchief before sniffling, "But... your mom's a bitch..."

Ami's jaw dropped, "She's not!" Her head swung to me, "She isn't!"

Unable to lie to her, I admitted, "She... kinda is, Ami."

Ami gaped for a moment, looking between us as Makoto nodded sagely... well, as sagely as a nine-year-old could while wiping snot from her nose. The genius harrumphed before crossing her arms and looking away with a pout, "My mother is not a bitch."

Makoto giggled into the handkerchief even as Ami pouted harder, giving her foot a little stomp as she whined out, "She's noooot!"

A small smile crossed my face as I shook my head. Ami was being silly on purpose, I knew for sure, and Makoto wanted something to smile about.

The local law enforcement were taking notes that would be passed on to the Marines, and something would have to be done about Makoto and her living situation... but right now? Ami and I were here for her, friends, and we'd do what we could to take care of her. And I was going to find out who the fuckfaces were that had done this and I was going to make them pay.

-oOo-​

"So, if I may ask a blunt question?"

"What would stop you?"

"Eh, not much really," I admitted, "But it's not like you have to answer. But what is up with the necks?"

The entire dining area of the largest hut went dead silent, the various ladies as well as Jaime going silent... which is only a little more than I was expecting really. Eventually, Enitan asked, "… did you really just ask that?"

"Yes," I said without the slightest bit of shame.

"…"

"I did say it was a blunt question."

After a moment, Enitan collected herself, "Necks are vulgar, to just leave them exposed is just as vulgar as walking around naked!" she gestured wildly, "At least you two are not so vulgar as to leave them utterly exposed."

Jaime and I shared a glance with each other, him wearing his turtleneck and me with my scarf, "Ah, thank you. That makes sense. Are your elongated necks a natural feature or something you cultivate?"

"I- That-!" Enitan sputtered.

"It is something women of our tribe are born with. We do not remove our necklaces except to bathe privately or with our spouse." Lady Malaika said simply, looking up from her hippo steak.

"Ah," I made a note in my notebook, basic shorthand to remind myself when we got back to the Cake and elaborate more there. Jaime had basically claimed all of the booze they were making from the hippo's 'fire' glands. When mixed with its saliva it turned into almost napalm, but in of itself it was apparently a really strong booze. Since it was technically my kill I got to decide what was done with it, and Jaime had asked, so I'd given it freely. They were cooking the rest of it and the gator now.

Malaika continued, "A longer, stronger neck like my daughter possesses is considered a sign of strength and fertility."

"M-Mother!" I snorted, some things held true no matter where you went. Enitan's face was bright red despite her dark skin as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"As such, the ceremony will be in two days."

I blinked even as Enitan stiffened, and I asked the matriarch of the tribe cautiously, "Ceremony…?"

But I was talked over by her daughter, who'd stood up, hands slamming onto the large table, "What-?! But Mother!"

"No buts, he is clearly stronger than Katlego, and strength is what matters."

"Ladies, what are we talking about here?" I asked, raising my voice.

"No way! Katlego is definitely more powerful! He beat me and my entire team!"

"Don't be a fool. As could have he if he'd been so inclined."

"Ladies," I tried again, raising my voice more.

"But he's not Katlego! He beat me first!"

"And Katlego is not strong enough!"

"I need an explanation here," I said tersely as I slowly stood, trying to butt in.

"Katlego can still challenge it!"

"And until he does, my word is final because of your incompeten–"

"ENOUGH!" I brought my fist down onto the table, nearly snapping in two as I stood over it, the room going silent, "If it was just between you two I wouldn't interfere but this obviously has something to do with me, and I will get an explanation before we go on." Jaime and the women in the room edged away from us as my eyes swung between the two women who had scooched back slightly, "Now, explain."

The mother and daughter glanced at one another, but no explanation was forthcoming, so I prompted, "What ceremony?"

Malaika met my gaze, "Marriage."

"No." I said simply.

The matriarch scowled, "You are denying my daughters hand in marriage?"

"That's correct."

She frowned, even as her daughter glanced between us worriedly, "You don't have a choi–"

"No." My green eyes didn't waver from Malaika's own brown ones, "Nein. Niet. Non. Negatory. Not happening. N to the fucking O. Noooooo."

Jaime and the other ladies of the village eased up to the doorway of the large hut.

"You will–"

"Not marry her." I insisted.

Jaime and the other ladies dashed out at that as I raised my hand, ticking off reasons on my fingers, "One: I wasn't made aware of this beforehand and had no desire for it. Two: I personally have no desire for her, I don't even know her! Three: I am obviously foreign. I will not be staying on the island, and have no desire to literally drag her away from her home because of that."

"It is tradition." Malaika insisted.

"It's a stupid tradition."

The bluntness of my response obviously shocked the woman, and after a moment she scowled, asking softly, "… you would stomp all over our traditions?"

"I would stomp all over any tradition that causes suffering unnecessarily and without purpose," I fired back, leaning closer.

"It's purpose is to get strong warriors for our tribe," she returned tersely.

"I'm leaving." I reminded her uncompromisingly, "I won't be around to improve your tribe, nor would anyone attached to me. And I mean, come on, Enitan, do you want to marry me?"

The younger woman straightened, "Fuck no!"

"And what about this Katlego dude?" I prompted.

Her cheeks flushed and she crossed her arms, looking away, "K-Katlego is an insufferable warrior that totally disregards social niceties and common sense!"

… Tsun-Tsun much?

I turned back to Malaika, "And I'm assuming that this guy is both native and strong enough to otherwise have qualified. He's obviously a better choice," I leaned even closer to the middle aged woman, my voice going low as I almost growled out, a hint of metallic reverb appearing in my voice, "And trying to force it on me will not work out well for you."

"Is that a threat?" she asked, just as softly.

Enitan glanced between us worriedly, having taken a half step away from the table as I leaned over it, propped up by my hands on the wood as her mother stared up at me, our eyes locked in the battle of wills as my grip tightened on the wood, making it pop and creak and splinter as I asked, "Does it have to be?"

After a long moment, Malaika glanced away briefly before bringing her eyes back to mine, "Any contesting marriages must be dealt with by duel."

I straightened, "Then I forfeit."

She twitched, but obviously restrained what she'd intended to say, "You… are a brute."

"Too bad. Deal with it." I crossed my arms, refusing to budge, "I refuse to marry her."

"Katlego is already on the way here to challenge the claim." Malaika pointed out, as if I knew the guy or if it'd change my mind.

"Katlego's on his way here?!" Enitan nearly squeaked, "Now?! … for me…?"

Enitan's comment went unrecognized by her mother and I in our battle of wills. "Then. I'll. Forfeit." I reiterated without any sympathy.

"I won't explain it to Katlego," Malaika said, and I really gave no sort of fuck about it.

"Then I will." I said without care, even if the guy was stronger than me I should be able to avoid a serious fight long enough to explain it to him, "But I won't marry her."

"Then why should we allow you in our village?"

"Because you and your daughter did make a deal, even if I wasn't aware of all of the details." I pointed out, they'd have to live with the consequences of that, "We won't stay after the feast if it's truly problematic, but we are going to learn what you know about the McPuffins at very least."

"Then you are in luck," Hah, sarcasm. "Katlego will know more than our tribe."

I almost asked the boss lady, but instead I turned toward the already betrothed, "Enitan?"

Startled out of her inner monologue with her hands on her cheeks, she looked up at me, "Ah, yes?"

"Do you think Katlego would mind telling us what he knows about the McPuffins?"

She blinked a few times before scowling and crossing her arms, "That asshole will probably just laugh that you were able to defeat me!"

Her mother rolled her eyes, so my estimation was favorable.

I turned back to Malaika, "So when should he be here?"

"It should only take Katlego a day to reach here provided he can get away from Shaka's forces."

"Mm," I grunted, looking away and figuring timetables, but remembering that we basically didn't have one... but logistics...? "Alright. May we stay until then?"

"Could we stop you?" She scowled, not so subtly calling me out on my 'bigger stick' diplomacy earlier. But she had no grounding considering she was going to try and force me to marry her daughter with the same.

"Technically no, but we had no real intention of trespassing and still don't. If you truly don't want us here then we will leave, though we will remain in the area to talk with Katlego." All that said, there was no reason to get us into a serious fight or provoke them into poisoning us in our sleep or some shit. I might be moderately resistant to a lot of toxins, but poisons, especially neruotoxins could still fuck me up real good.

"No. We are doing this duel, even if it is a technicality," she ground that part out, not that I could blame her, but not that I particularly gave any sort of fucks either. Shit traditions are shit. "And until that time, you are a contestant for the hand of my daughter and as such, you and your guard are allowed in the village."

I gave a small nod, "Thank you."

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The McPuffin Part 10 End