Reconciled

As we ran, I started considering all the things that I—and even Edward—had been ignoring. The deeper implications of my transformation. The differences.

"Why aren't you more worried about what I am?" I insisted as he took my hand. Being linked barely slowed us.

"Because you're still here with me, Beau," he said solemnly, "I would accept any change you underwent so long as you were still with me."

"But we don't know what I am," I continued. "We don't know if I'll age, we don't know how this will affect things." I was voicing my own fears now.

"Alice can see you again. She sees you staying exactly as you are. Forever." He breathed the last word, adoration and relief heavy in his voice.

If Alice had seen it, then that was the path I was on. It was some relief. It still didn't answer the question of what I was. It didn't explain what had happened.

"I suppose it's not the worst thing in the world," I mused.

"You're my Beau, through and through." He grinned, "Everything about you is exactly perfect. You still have those beautiful eyes, and you still smell like you always did."

I turned my head, raising my eyebrows at him. He laughed, "Well, almost. You don't smell like the most tantalizing temptation anymore." He raised my hand to his face, gently running his nose along my wrist. "Now I can appreciate how delicious your scent is… in other ways."

I felt that desperate urge once again. The need to be near Edward. It was all I could to keep myself from tackling him. I had to distract myself to stay focused.

"And Jacob? Why is Jacob still here?" I asked. "How can he stand it? Why should he?" My ringing voice trembled a little. "Why should he have to suffer more?"

"Jacob isn't suffering," he said in a strange tone. "Though he could certainly improve his situation if he wasn't such an idiot," Edward added, rolling his eyes.

"Edward!" I scolded, yanking him to a stop and feeling a thrill of smugness that I was able to do it. "Don't call Jake an idiot. He has given up everything to protect us! What I've put him through—" I cringed at the dim memory of shame and guilt.

"I believe you'll begin to understand fairly quickly," Edward muttered. "You've always been surprisingly perceptive. Perhaps you could impart some of your skills to Jacob. Goodness knows, he could use them." He watched my face from the corner of his eyes.

"Apparently, I'm not that perceptive," I grumbled in frustration, "because I have no idea what you're talking about."

He stroked my cheek and then smiled gently, "You hide your frustration too well, now. I don't think I'll have any hope of ever figuring out what's going through your beautiful head."

"I don't particularly like feeling confused."

"I know. And so let's get you home, so that you can figure it out for yourself." His eyes ran over the remains of my shirt as he spoke of going home, and he frowned. "Hmm." After half a second of thought, he unbuttoned his white shirt and held it out for me to put my arms through.

"You can be shirtless but I can't?" I raised an eyebrow.

He grinned. "Truthfully?" He took a deep breath. "It's more for my sake. I'm having a desperately hard time focusing with you looking so… tempting." He growled the last word and I felt a wave of electric desire surge through my body as I shrugged off the scraps of my tattered blue shirt.

"You're having a hard time focusing," I muttered as I slipped my arms into his sleeves and then buttoned it swiftly. Of course, now that he was without a shirt, I was the one having a hard time staying focused. "Shouldn't we be doing everything to help me?"

"Well," He sighed. "It wasn't just your shirt that suffered some damage." As he spoke he tugged the tail of the shirt down over the back of my pants.

I twisted slightly and realized my pants weren't covering much either. "Oh."

He laughed and kissed my cheek.

"Okay, okay," I breathed, "if we don't start heading back now we're never going to make it." I smirked up at him. "I'll race you."

He grinned. "On your mark…"

Finding my way to my new home was simpler than walking down Charlie's street to my old one. Our scent left a clear and easy trail to follow, even running as fast as I could.

Edward had me beat till we hit the river. I took a chance and made my leap early, trying to use my extra strength to win.

"Ha!" I exulted when I heard my feet touch the grass first.

Listening for his landing, I heard something I did not expect. Something loud and very close. A thudding heart.

Edward was beside me in the same seconds, his hands clamped down hard on the tops of my arms.

"Don't breathe," he cautioned me urgently.

I expected to feel panic, but instead I felt a surge of happiness in the pit of my stomach. I stayed frozen, though, just in case. My eyes were the only things that moved, wheeling instinctively to find the source of the sound.

Jacob stood at the line where the forest touched the Cullens' lawn, his arms folded across his body, his jaw clenched tight. Invisible in the woods behind him, I heard now two larger hearts, and the faint crush of bracken under huge, pacing paws.

"Carefully, Jacob," Edward said. A whine from the forest echoed the concern in his voice. "Maybe this isn't the best way—"

"Come on, sparkles," Jacob scoffed, "I think I know my best friend well enough at this point to know it'll be okay." He grinned at me. "Besides, I heal fast."

Was this another test? To see how I reacted to Jacob? To see if I could not kill him? I felt sick in the strangest way—it had nothing to do with my stomach, only my mind. Was this Edward's idea?

I glanced at his face anxiously; Edward seemed to deliberate for a moment, and then his expression moved from concern to amusement. He shrugged, and there was a passive tone in his voice when he said, "It's your neck, I suppose."

A furious growl echoed from the forest; Liam, I had no doubt.

I wondered if this surprising recklessness was what Edward meant by Jacob being an idiot. My confusion over Edward's words and actions warred with the urgent sense of relief I wanted to embrace at Jacob's words; I think I know my best friend well enough at this point… Was it that simple? Was Jacob still my best friend? Had our friendship survived?

And as my eyes met Jacob's now, I knew that it had. He still looked like my best friend. But, then again, he wasn't the one who had changed. What did I looked like to him?

Then he smiled his familiar smile, the smile of a kindred spirit, and I was sure our friendship was intact. It was just like before, when we were hanging out in his homemade garage, just two friends killing time. Easy and normal. But it was different this time in one significant way. This time we were just two friends looking at each other. There was no longing, no unspoken desires. Just friends, the way it was supposed to be.

"Jake…" I said tentatively.

His grin widened. "I gotta say, babe. You're a freak show."

I grinned back, falling into easily into the old pattern. This was a side of him I understood.

Edward growled. "Watch yourself, mongrel."

I tried to be gentle as I elbowed Edward in the ribs. "Hey, none of that." I smiled at Jacob. "You're right. I'm a walking mystery, aren't I?"

"For sure. But it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be."

"Gee—thanks for the amazing complement!"

He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. You still look like you. I mean, there's some changes but… You're still Beau. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here." He smiled at me again without a trace of bitterness or resentment anywhere in his face. Then he chuckled and said, "Anyway, it's a relief. And I guess I'll get used to the changes soon enough."

"You will?" I asked, confused. It was wonderful that we were still friends, but I hadn't thought we'd still be spending much time together.

"We're best friends, Beau." He smiled, "I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to."

"Yes, you've made that clear." Edward said, a hint of annoyance in his amused tone.

"Don't tell me you two are fighting again." I sighed.

"Not quite," Jacob smirked. "Okay, ready to take the next step?" His grin was a challenge now as he started slowly forward.

There was a whine of protest behind him, and then Liam's gray body slid out of the trees behind him. The shorter, sandy-colored Seth was right behind Liam.

"Cool it, guys," Jacob said. "It's fine."

I was glad they didn't listen to him but only followed after him a little more slowly.

The wind was still now; it wouldn't blow his scent away from me.

He got close enough that I could feel the heat of his body in the air between us. I braced myself in response.

"C'mon, babe. Do your worst."

Liam growled.

I didn't want to breathe too deeply. It didn't feel right taking such a risk with Jacob. Not now when we had just established that we were still friends, not when we still had a conversation to have.

"I'm getting older here, Beau," Jacob teased. "Okay, not technically, but you get the idea. Go on, take a whiff."

"Hold on to me," I said to Edward, leaning back into his chest. "Just in case."

His hands tightened on my arms.

I locked my muscles in place, hoping I could keep them frozen. I resolved that I would do at least as well as I had on the hunt. Worst-case scenario, I would stop breathing and run for it. Nervously, I leaned my head forward and took a breath through my nose, braced for anything.

It wasn't what I had expected. I could smell the blood in Jacob's veins. It held the vaguest temptation to me, but I wasn't thirsty now. More than anything, I could smell the familiar woodsy, masculine scent that I easily recognized as Jacob's. There was something else I could detect in his scent now, though. I had almost expected to smell what the others had long complained about—but I didn't smell anything offensive in Jacob's scent. There was something I couldn't quite place, however. It was warm, earth-like. It was the same scent I could detect from the two wolves behind him. Some part of my mind warned me against that new scent, like it was dangerous. But largely, it was just Jacob.

I took a deep breath and relaxed. "Huh. I don't see what everyone's been going on about. You smell just fine, Jake. Maybe vampire sense of smell isn't as good as it's cracked up to be."

Edward let out a breath of relief; his hands slipped from my shoulders to wrap around me waist and he laughed. Seth barked a low chortle with Edward; he came a little closer while Liam retreated several paces. And then I was aware of another audience when I heard Emmett's low, distinct guffaw, muffled a little by the glass wall between us.

"I gotta say, Beau," Jacob laughed, "You smell much better than I was prepared for." His face didn't pucker at all while Edward embraced me, not even when Edward leaned in and whispered "I love you" in my ear. Jacob just kept grinning. This made me feel hopeful that things were going to be right between us, the way they hadn't been for so long now. Maybe now we could truly be just friends.

"Okay, so I'd say I'm doing pretty good here." I said. "But do we have any ideas what I am?"

"You're Beau." Jacob said simply. Then he smirked, and his eyes were playfully teasing. "You've always been the odd man out. 'Cept now, you might actually be able to keep up with the rest of us."

"Keep up? I'm planning on outrunning all of you." I rolled my eyes dismissively.

Jacob and Edward both laughed, I couldn't suppress my grin. We headed back toward the house and our family.

"So who's idea was it to use Jacob as a human sacrifice?" I asked as we reached the front door.

"That was all me." Jacob said, sounding proud. "I figured if I'm sticking around, I should make myself useful."

"You? Useful? That would be a nice change." I teased and Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Har, har," He huffed. "Alright, you guys can let everyone fawn over Beau now. I'm gonna head to the kitchen and find something to eat."

"I can cook you something!" I offered, smiling. I hadn't had the chance to cook in ages. "If there's anything in the kitchen that is."

"I stocked up for the boys." Alice appeared in the doorway, "I just got back from the store." She turned to Jacob, "I got a little bit of everything."

"How do burgers sound?" I offered, grinning at Jacob. He grinned back as we headed toward the kitchen. The others met us just before I made it to the fridge.

"Already business as usual, Beau?" Emmett smirked.

"How did it go?" Carlisle asked, his eyes intent.

"Excellently." Edward answered smoothly.

"Did he hunt his fill?" Jasper asked, warily.

"He…" I rolled my eyes. "Is standing right here."

"You don't need to be so nervous, Jasper," Edward waved a hand. "Listen—on the hunt he caught the scent of some hikers who were in the wrong place at the wrong time…"

I heard Carlisle suck in a shocked breath. Esme's face was suddenly full of concern mingled with compassion. Jasper's eyes widened, but he nodded just a tiny bit, as if Edward's words answered some question in his head. Jacob's mouth screwed up into a disgusted grimace. Emmett shrugged. Royal sighed quietly.

Alice's expression told me that she was not fooled. Her narrowed eyes, focused with burning intensity on my borrowed shirt, seemed more worried about what I'd done to my outfit than anything else.

"Edward!" Carlisle chastened. "How could you be so irresponsible?"

"I know, Carlisle, I know. I was just plain stupid. I should have taken the time to make sure we were in a safe zone before I set him loose."

"Edward," I mumbled, embarrassed by the way they stared at me. It was like they were trying to see the red that should have been in my eyes.

"He's absolutely right to rebuke me, Beau," Edward said with a grin. "I made a huge mistake. The fact that you are stronger than anyone I've ever known doesn't change that."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Tasteful joke, Edward."

"I wasn't making a joke. I was explaining to Jasper how he doesn't need to be so concerned. It's not my fault everyone jumped to conclusions."

"Wait," Jasper gasped. "He didn't hunt the humans?"

"He started to," Edward said, clearly enjoying himself. My teeth ground together. "He was entirely focused on the hunt."

"What happened?" Carlisle interjected. His eyes were suddenly bright, an amazed smile beginning to form on his face. It reminded me of before, when he'd wanted the details on my transformation experience. The thrill of new information.

Edward leaned toward him, animated. "Beau heard me behind him and reacted defensively. As soon as my pursuit broke into his concentration he snapped right out of it. I've never seen anything equal to him. He realized at once what was happening, and then… He held his breath and ran away."

"Whoa," Emmett murmured. "Seriously?"

"He's not telling it right," I muttered, more embarrassed than before. "He left out the part where I growled at him."

"Did ya get in a couple of good swipes?" Emmett asked eagerly.

"No! Of course not."

"No, not really? You really didn't attack him?"

"Emmett!" I protested.

"Aw, what a waste," Emmett groaned. "And here you're probably the one person who could take him—since he can't get in your head to cheat—and you had a perfect excuse, too." He sighed. "I've been dyingto see how he'd do without that advantage."

I glared at him. "I would never."

Jasper's frown caught my attention; he seemed even more disturbed than before.

Edward touched his fist lightly to Jasper's shoulder in a mock punch. "You see what I mean?"

"It's not natural," Jasper muttered.

"He could have turned on you—he's only hours old!" Esme scolded, putting her hand on against her heart. "Oh, we should have gone with you."

I wasn't paying so much attention, now that Edward was past the punch line of his joke. I maneuvered my way to the fridge and opened it, searching for ingredients. I was only vaguely aware of the conversations behind me. The topics were all the same; what was I?

I tried to rest in the knowledge that Alice hadn't seen anything bad in my future. I was here, I was alive. And all things considered, I had appeared to get a pretty good deal out of everything. Maybe we'd figure it all out sooner or later. Maybe we wouldn't. The unknown didn't feel as scary now. I felt like I could handle anything.

"They're all going crazy," Jacob muttered to me a little later on, trying not to sound amused. "I gotta admit, it's fun seeing them so panicked."

"I don't think they're panicked," I said as I flipped one of the burger patties. "I think they're just wary. It's something they don't understand. It doesn't happen a lot."

"Those smell great." Jacob said, licking his lips. "You're really a good cook."

"Thanks, Jake." I laughed, "I missed cooking. I wonder if I'll get to a point where I could go to cooking school after all."

"What does it smell like to you?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. "I've always wondered, you know?"

I took a quick sniff. I could smell the ground beef, the sizzling juices, and every unique spice I had used. It smelled much the same as a cooking burger had smelled before, except now I had a greater and more defined capacity for understanding the subtleties in the different scents.

"Smells like food," I shrugged. "But you're right—" I grinned, "It does smell good."

He laughed. "Hey, can you get me some water?"

"Sure, sure." I absently reached into a nearby cabinet and grabbed two glasses of water, quickly filling them up in the sink. I handed Jacob one of the glasses and set the other down on the counter, within the same second I had grabbed a plate with a bun and flipped the burger onto it, handing that to him before he had even had time to bring the glass to his lips.

"Uh, thanks."

"You're welcome." I laughed, "Make sure you take those other two burgers out to Seth and Liam." I leaned against the counter and absently watched my family as they muttered in low, quick voices. Discussing and debating in endless circles over what I was and what they could do to better understand.

Suddenly, all the conversation stopped. Everyone was staring at me open-mouthed. Even Jacob was frozen mid-bite. I blinked a few times, not understanding what I had done this time to upset them. I was just standing here.

"What's wrong?" I asked, perplexed.

"Beau…" Edward was staring at me wide-eyed. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing?" My eyebrows furrowed. "Just listening to you all, I guess?"

Edward went to say something, then his mouth closed. He looked over at the others, uncertainty in his expression.

"Thirsty, Beau?" Emmett finally asked tentatively.

My brows furrowed further. Thirsty? No I… Then I looked down in my hand at the second glass of water I had poured. The glass of water I had been absently sipping from while I leaned against the counter.

My eyes shot from the glass back to the others. "Drinking water… isn't a vampire thing is it?"

Seven pale faces stared at me. Royal eventually shook his head slowly, his eyes still wide.

I looked back down at the glass of water, then over to Jacob still frozen. He blinked a few times before slowly holding the burger out to me.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Well," He swallowed, "I mean if you're thirsty, babe…"

I stared at the burger. "Um… I mean, It did smell good…"

"Does it?" Carlisle took a step forward, that frenetic sparkle of excitement back in his eyes. "It actually smells palatable to you, Beau?"

I nodded slowly, taking the burger from Jacob and holding it just under my nose.

"If he actually takes a bite—" Emmett began before Royal elbowed him hard in the ribs. "—Hey! I'm just saying, that's gross."

Royal rolled his eyes and turned to me. "Go on, Beau."

Feeling incredibly self-conscious with eight pairs of eyes glued to my face, I sighed and then took a small bite.

The taste was indescribable.

Indescribable because I hadn't experienced it before now—not like this. The subtleties and depths of flavors, the nuances, the balances. I tried to remind myself that this had more to do with my newly heightened perceptions and senses than it had to do with my skills as a cook, but it was hard not to think I was a master chef in that moment. I took another bite, fascinated by the new experience eating was.

"I can't believe it," Emmett was laughing. "He actually likes it."

"Beau," Edward took a step forward, "Does it really taste… good?" the way he said the last word openly conveyed that he couldn't possibly imagine the food tasting like anything better than dirt.

"Not to sing my own praises," I swallowed, "but it's great!" I considered for a moment, "Maybe if the meat was a little more on the rare side…"

Now Emmett was crowing with laughter. It quickly spread to everyone else, even me. I caught a glimpse of Seth's sandy face through the kitchen window, a series of breathy wolf-laughs coming from his muzzle.