confrontations

The laughter was short lived. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I felt like I sensed it before everyone else. It wasn't a sound, or a scent, rather a feeling.

Then the scent came, and everyone fell silent. Seven pairs of amber-gold eyes darted to the window, Jacob's entire body tensed, and I could hear Seth and Liam growling softly outside.

The pack had come to settle things.

My mind was spinning with questions. Thankfully, I could keep my mouth moving as quickly as my brain now. "Where did we leave things with the pack?" I asked the room.

"Jacob managed to buy us some time." Edward replied, "He told them that you took a turn for the worse, that you weren't going to make it."

"But Sam didn't believe me," Jacob sighed. "He could tell I was keeping something from him." Jacob turned to me apologetically, "Sorry, babe. You know I'm not the best liar."

"It shouldn't be an issue," Edward said quickly, "Jacob gave me his permission as the rightful Alpha and descendent of Ephraim Black to turn Beau. The treaty hasn't been violated—it was amended."

"Yeah, and we can try and explain that to Sam," Jacob rolled his eyes, "He'll love that."

"So what now?" I asked, already running through all the possible scenarios in my head.

There were a few furtive glances Alice's way. She rolled her eyes and huffed. "Don't look at me. You know I can't see when the pack is involved."

Something in the back of my mind reacted to that, but I couldn't tell why.

"Beau isn't even truly changed," Royal said softly. "Surely they'll see that?"

"He may not be what they would consider a true vampire, but he's an unknown." Carlisle said, almost more to himself than any of us. "But there are certainly noticeably human aspects to Beau. Perhaps we can appeal to the pack from that angle."

"It's worth a try." Jacob nodded. "He still seems pretty human, all things considered."

"He'sgetting really tired of everyone talking about him like he's not here." I sighed, my mind already made. "Come on, let's meet them. The longer we make them wait the warier they're going to be."

"Beau, love," Edward was at my side in an instant, "I admire your bravery but perhaps we should wait. Let Carlisle, Jacob, and myself go ahead and talk to them first."

"But what if they don't want to talk?" I couldn't help but feel that given the circumstances, this might be an 'attack first, ask questions after' type of situation. "What if they're here to fight?"

From outside, near the edge of the trees, there was a sharp, short howl—probably Liam.

"Looks like we're out of time." Emmett said, raising an eyebrow as he gazed warily out the window.

We all followed his line of vision. I could see Sam, huge and black-furred, standing at the edge of the woods flanked by two of his brother wolves. Further behind them, hidden in the trees, the rest of the pack was pacing irritably.

"Well, guess we should try talking." Jacob shrugged.

I took a deep breath and started for the door.

We walked in a formation. Jacob at the head, flanked by Carlisle and Edward. I followed behind them with Emmett and Jasper on either side of me. Alice, Esme, and Royal were behind us. Liam was pacing angrily in front of Sam just ahead of us. Seth was walking next to our formation, radiating tension.

"How fast can you run if this goes bad, Beau?" Emmett said out of the corner his mouth. "Without tripping, I mean."

"Shut it, Emmett." I hissed back.

Seth whined softly, I turned to give him a reassuring smile. Our eyes met, and for the briefest moment I thought I could almost hear his voice in my head. It wasn't actual words, not really. More like a feeling that somehow came in Seth's voice. It was very soft and muted but I could read the emotion. It was fear. Fear and questioning. Seth was worried, he wanted to know if everything was going to be okay.

"Don't worry, Seth. Everything will be fine." I smiled at him.

His head turned slightly to the side, this time I could sense the surprise he was feeling. Like I had answered his exact thought. I wondered if this was typical of vampires but that didn't seem right. I didn't have time to think about it more, now it was time to deal with the pack.

"Sam," Jacob called, "we're here to talk. No fighting."

There was a brief pause. "'Fine,'" Edward said, reading Sam's mind. "'But only out of brotherhood, Jacob. You've already betrayed the pack by siding with the Cullens, and you lied to me about Beau dying.'"

Sam was growling softly while Edward spoke. I guessed to emphasize the words.

"I know, I know," Jacob held up his hands. "Listen, things got…" He peeked back over his shoulder at me. "Complicated."

"Sam," Carlisle spoke now, "We understand the seriousness of the situation, especially from your perspective. Believe me when I say we never had any intention of breaking the treaty from a place of ill-will toward you or your people. This alliance—this friendship—tenuous as it has been, means a great deal to me and my family."

"'And still you broke it.'" Edward responded in Sam's voice.

"Technically, no." Jacob took a step forward. "I gave Edward permission as Ephraim Black's grandson to turn Beau. As the heir of the original treaty maker."

A ripple of growls, starting with Sam and resonating through the rest of the pack echoed through the woods.

"And besides," Carlisle spoke again, "as Jacob said, there have been further complications. We ask only that you give us a chance to present our case. But I believe that once you see Beau, you'll understand why perhaps we feel we might reach some sort of understanding."

"'Fine. Bring him out.'"

Carlisle turned and gestured for me to come forward. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, being careful to keep my movements and slow and human-like as I could manage.

I didn't need Edward to read Sam's mind to tell me his reaction. I could see it as his eyes met mine. More than that, I could senseit. Shock, confusion, anger, more confusion. Those emotions quickly spread to the rest of the pack, and I could sense them magnified as each one of them processed what Sam was seeing, what they were seeing.

I desperately wished I could hear what they were thinking. To know if things were going poorly or not. As I stood there, waiting for someone to say something and wishing I could read minds like Edward, something shifted in my mind for the shortest fraction of a second. It was a strange feeling; like an echo-chamber inside my head. There weren't truly words, just feelings that I could almost make into words. But the feelings weren't mine. In that fraction of time—that millisecond—I could understand what the pack was thinking and feeling. I almost knew the words running through their heads, even though I couldn't hear them. It caught me so off-guard that I took a quick, sharp breath. Suddenly there was another shift and my mind was quiet and clear again.

At the same moment the initial shift in my brain had happened, Alice had gasped behind me and Edward had tensed, his eyes darting just slightly in her direction.

My eyes had unfocused for a moment, when they focused again, I was staring at Sam. His body was stiff and his great black eyes were scrutinizing me. After a long moment, he turned and darted into the woods.

"Hey—wait—" Jacob called after him. "Where's he going?" He turned to Edward.

"What?" Edward hadn't been paying attention. He was staring over his shoulder back at Alice. His eyes were wide.

"Sam! Where'd he go?" Jacob snapped.

"He'll be… right back." Edward said haltingly. It wasn't like him to be so distracted. I slowly turned my head to look back at Alice.

She was standing perfectly still. Her eyes wider than I'd ever seen them. Her slender hands were clasped in front of her mouth and she was staring straight at me. I furrowed my eyebrows at her. She blinked once, then shook her head.

"Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine." She said so quietly it was barely a breath.

When I reluctantly turned back to the pack, Sam was jogging out the trees. On two legs.

"I want to talk to Beau." He called as he reached the spot he had previously been standing.

I glanced up at Edward, who still looked distracted. He was tense, but he nodded reassuringly and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

I took another deep breath and started walking toward Sam.

If he was willing to change back to his human form, then he had to feel safe. This had to be a good sign. I was feeling more confident the closer I got to him, but even my confidence felt slightly shaken by whatever it was that had happened only moments ago. It was completely unlike anything I had ever experienced before, which was saying a lot given everything that had happened since I woke up from the burning was wholly unlike anything I had experienced before.

I stopped just a few steps away from Sam. his eyes were intently focused on me and his body was tense.

"Hi, Sam." I said softly, wondering what my voice sounded like to him now.

"Beau." He said, nodding slowly.

"I'm sorry we lied to you." I finally said after a long, silent minute. "I guess you can tell things are…" I gestured vaguely to myself.

"Complicated." He finished. "Yes."

"So," I began, "Well, you can see I'm not… I mean, not completely." I didn't quite know what to say to Sam, I couldn't really explain the situation, especially since I didn't totally understand the situation myself. "My heart is still beating." Was all I could manage.

"And you're still Beau." He finally said. "I can hear your heart. You're not completely one of them."

"No. Not completely."

"How?"

"We don't know. We're still trying to figure everything out." I replied, feeling slightly embarrassed like I didn't have the answer in class.

"You don't smell like them. Your blood doesn't smell quite human. But still—"

"Blood!" Carlisle gasped suddenly.

We all turned to look at Carlisle. That spark of excitement in his eyes was practically a flame now.

"It's the logical conclusion!" Carlisle said, more to himself than any of us, "It was blood! Jacob's blood!" He gestured towards Jacob vaguely. "The transfusions. Perhaps the venom and Jacob's blood were not compatible, halting the transformation process…"

"Leaving Beau partly human." Edward finished in astonishment.

"I knew pumping Beau full of d—" I could practically hear Royal's eyes rolling as he spoke. I cut my eyes in his direction to stop him before he said anything offensive. His eyes caught mine and he snapped his mouth shut for a moment. He cleared his throat and tried again, "I knew putting wolfblood in Beau would do something," he huffed.

"Something good." Jacob retorted smugly. Edward chuckled softly to himself.

"You did this, Jacob?" Sam asked, his face serious.

"Beau was dying. I did what I could to help him." Jacob said, lifting his chin slightly. "Despite yourbest efforts."

Sam's face was stony, betraying no underlying emotion in his expressions. But I could see the slightest tightening of his eyes. I would have missed this if I were still completely human, but now I could see the truth of Sam's subtle response; he was hurt. More than that, he knew Jacob was right and that he had been wrong.

"Sam," Edward began, "we assure you we meant no harm or disrespect to you. We meant no harm to anyone. We only wanted to save Beau."

"Saving humans, Sam." Jacob echoed Edward's tone. "It's what we're supposed to do, right?"

"It is." Sam said quietly. He stared into my eyes once more, like he was deep in thought. He took a deep breath, then let out a long sigh before turning his back to me and my family. I felt the slightest twinge of nerves ripple through me. What if Sam decided I wasn't human enough anymore? What if after everything, the treaty was truly broken and we had started a war? What was the next step? My thoughts whirled around everyone standing around me, my family, my friends. Everyone I had so desperately clung to life to stay with. How could I keep them safe if the pack turned on us now?

We would run. It was the only option. Leave Forks and never come back. My slowly beating heart sped slightly at that thought. If we left… What would I tell Charlie?

Charlie.

Before I could think of what to do about my poor father, Sam was speaking again, loudly to the pack.

"The treaty remains." He declared. "The Cullens are not our enemies. And Beau…" He turned to face me again, "Is still under our protection as a human." He held out his hand towards me. "If he will allow that."

I grinned widely at him, relief washing over my body. I reached out my hand to shake Sam's. He winced slightly at my touch.

"But judging by your grip, Beau," He coughed, "You may not need as much protection anymore."

I quickly pulled my hand back, biting my lip in embarrassment. Everyone behind me burst into laughter as Sam carefully flexed his hand.

There was more shaking of hands, more words of thanks. Even Jacob and Sam seemed to come to some sort of understanding. Suddenly everything was falling into place.

Except Charlie.

I could pass for a human, and I had shown more than a fair amount of self-control. But would it be enough to see Charlie anytime soon? I wasn't optimistic enough to delude myself into believing that Charlie wouldn't notice that I was different. My father would know that his son had changed somehow. He would see it. And even if I could run away from the smell of human blood when it was some miles away, even if Jacob's blood didn't tempt me, would I have the same restraint when a human was standing right in front of me? Even if it was my own father?

Before I could delve deeper into my chaotic thoughts, someone cleared their throat behind me. Sam. Even without turning to see him, I recognized the sound of his deep voice, the woodsy scent that was his.

"Hey, Sam." I answered quietly.

"Beau," he nodded, "I was wondering if we could talk alone for a moment."

"Of course," I answered, somewhat surprised. Sam rarely went anywhere without at least Paul or Jared close behind him.

He started walking toward the trees, I followed just behind him, glancing back over my shoulder. Edward and Jacob were watching, confusion on their faces. I smiled reassuringly and gave them a small wave.

Once Sam and I were some distance away in the shelter of the trees, he stopped and turned to me. He didn't speak at first. I got the impression that this was difficult for him.

"Beau," He began, then stopped, like he didn't know what to say. "Beau." He said again.

"Y—yes?" I smiled patiently, hoping it would encourage him.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes drifting to the forest floor. "I've spent so much time hating the Cullens. Even blaming them for how my life turned out. For years, that hatred ate away at me. I thought no one could hate them as much as I did." He looked up at me now. "When they left you alone here, I thought maybe you'd started hating them as much as I had. I thought maybe someone could finally understand how I felt. But then you took them back. You forgave them."

"I love them." Was all I could manage in reply.

"Yes. Love." Sam pondered this for a second. "The Cullens have their powers. We can become wolves to protect our friends and family. But that's always been your power, hasn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You love. You care. You see the humanity behind the monsters in your life."

"I try to, anyway." I shrugged.

Sam smiled. "Maybe if I had lived life more like you, things would have turned out different. If I had tried to have a little more faith in others I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did. But I'm done hating the Cullens. They didn't make me what I am. I was born into this. The bad stuff… Well, that was my fault. My choices are what led me here. So I'm going to make a choice now. I'm going to trust that this is how things were meant to play out."

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"But I am sorry for being stubborn, and for making the decision to try and hurt you. I made things harder on you, and I broke my pack. I should have listened to Jacob and had some faith in him."

"To be fair, listening to Jacob is a risky move."

Sam laughed at that, some of the stony seriousness that I had always associated with him faded away and I could almost catch a glimpse of who Sam was before he had become the Alpha. Before destiny had intervened in a young man's life and changed it forever. I could understand that.

"Maybe it was Jacob's blood that saved you," Sam said, "or maybe it was his love for his best friend."

"Thank you, Sam."

The treaty wasn't broken. One big worry down.

But now that I didn't have to worry about the pack, a more urgent care took the forefront in my mind as I walked back to the others.

Charlie.

He'd spoken to Esme earlier this morning, but that hadn't kept him from calling again, twice, just a little while ago while I was making food for Jacob. Carlisle and Edward had let the phone ring.

What would be the best thing to tell him? The Cullens said telling him I had died would be the best and kindest way. Would I be able to lie still in a coffin while he and my mother cried over me?

It didn't seem right to me. But even if I could control myself, even if Charlie could accept that I was changed, putting him in danger of the Volturi's obsession with secrecy was clearly out of the question.

There was still my idea—let Charlie see me, when I was sure I was ready for that, and let him make his own wrong assumptions. Technically, the vampire rules would remain unbroken. Wouldn't it be better for Charlie if he knew that I was alive—mostly—and happy? Even if I was strange and different and possibly frightening to him?

It was a gamble, though. Charlie was never much for horror films, so there was a good chance the word vampire or anything close to it wouldn't even cross his mind. But it was still a risk.

"What's the matter, love?" Edward asked as I reached him and the others. "Did Sam—"

"No, Sam was great." I answered quickly. "I was thinking about Charlie, actually."

Everyone turned to look at me.

"Ah," Edward murmured, wrapping his arms around me.

"We really have to leave, don't we?" I asked. "For a while, at the very least. Pretend we're in Atlanta or something."

I could feel Edward's gaze locked on my face, but he didn't speak. I looked over at Jasper, instead. I knew he would answer me.

"Yes. It's the only way to protect your father."

I brooded for a moment. "I'm going to miss him so much. I'll miss everyone here."

No one had any words of comfort for me. They knew this reality all too well, but it had been many long years before they'd experienced anything like what I was feeling. Some of them, like Edward and Alice, had never truly experienced it. But Emmett had left his family, as had Royal.

Royal's face was even, but I could see the understanding in his eyes. He had left behind a family when he'd been turned. He knew and he understood better than anyone what I was feeling.

"We'll be heading back to our territory now." Sam said, breaking the somber quiet. He walked up to Carlisle and extended his hand. "Carlisle."

"Thank you, Sam." Carlisle replied.

Sam nodded to Carlisle, to Edward, and to Jacob, then turned and nodded to his pack, waiting by the trees. They took off into the forest. Sam turned his head and caught my eye one more time, nodded slightly, before running off to join them.

"Okay, let's go home." I let out a small sigh, before turning and smiling to everyone else.

Jasper let out a huff, "I can't understand," he said. "I can't bear this."

I watched in surprise as he strode away toward the river. Liam moved to give him a wide margin of space as he launched himself over the water in one bound.

"What's wrong with Jasper?" I asked.

"He'll be back," Edward said. "He just needs a moment alone to readjust his perspective on life." There was a grin threatening at the corners of his mouth.

A human memory came back to me—Edward telling me that Jasper would feel better about himself if I "had a hard time adjusting" to being a vampire. This was in the context of a discussion about how many being I would kill my first newborn year.

"Is he mad at me?" I asked.

Edward's eyes widened. "No. Why would he be?"

"What's the matter with him, then?"

"He's upset with himself, not you, Beau. He's worrying about… self-fulfilling prophecy, I suppose you could say."

"How so?" Carlisle asked before I could.

"He's wondering if the newborn madness is really as difficult as we've always thought, of it, with the right focus and attitude, anyone could do it as well as Beau. Even now—perhaps he only has such difficulty because he believes it's natural and unavoidable. Maybe if he expected more of himself, he would rise to those expectations. You're making him question a lot of deep-rooted assumptions, Beau."

"But that's unfair," Carlisle said. "Everyone is different; everyone has their own challenges."

"And I'm not exactly a true newborn, I think we've decided that at this point." I added.

"Precisely!" Carlisle nodded. "And, who knows, perhaps Beau's self-control goes beyond even his own will or transformation. Maybe this is his gift, so to speak."

I froze with surprise.

"That's an interesting theory, and quite plausible," Edward said as we all began walking back to the house.

"Lame," Jacob laughed. "Beau would get something like that, wouldn't he?" He ran ahead with Seth back to the house. Liam rolled his eyes and trotted back off toward the forest.

For a tiny space, I was disappointed. What? No magic visions, no formidable offensive abilities like, oh, shooting lightning bolts from my eyes or something? Nothing helpful or cool at all?

And then I realized what that might mean, if my "superpower" was no more than exceptional self-control.

For one thing, At least I had a gift. It could have been nothing, especially given the circumstances of my changing.

But much more than that, if Edward was right, then I could skip right over the part I'd feared the very most.

What if I didn't have to be a newborn?Not in the crazed killing-machine sense, anyway. What if I could fit right in with the Cullens from my first day? What if we didn't have to hide out somewhere remote for a year while I "grew up"? What if, like Carlisle, I never killed a single person? What if I could be a good vampire right away? Or a good… whatever I was.

I could see Charlie.

I sighed as soon as reality filtered through hope. I couldn't see Charlie right away. I wasn't completely changed, but I was still different. The voice, the perfected face, the unnaturally flawless skin. What could I possibly say to him; how could I even begin? I was furtively glad that I had some excuses for putting things off for a while; as much as I wanted to find some way to keep Charlie in my life, I was terrified of that first meeting. Seeing his eyes pop as he took in my new face, my new skin. Knowing that he was frightened. Wondering what dark explanation would form in his head.

I was chicken enough to wait for a while and think of some explanation. And here I'd thought I would be so fearless when I was indestructible.

"Have you ever seen an equivalent to self-control as a talent?" Edward asked Carlisle. "Do you really think that's a gift, or a product of all his preparation or his unique transformation?"

Carlisle shrugged. "It's slightly similar to what Siobhan has always been able to do, though she wouldn't call it a gift."

"Siobhan, your friend in that Irish coven?" Royal asked. "I wasn't aware that she did anything special. I thought it was Maggie who was talented in that bunch."

"Yes, Siobhan thinks the same. But she has this way of deciding her goals and then almost... willing them into reality. She considers it good planning, but I've always wondered if it was something more. When she included Maggie, for instance. Lorna was very territorial, but Siobhan wanted it to work out, and so it did."

When we reached the house, Edward, Carlisle and Royal settled into chairs as they continued with the discussion. Jacob was already sitting next to Seth on the couch, who'd changed back into his human form. From the way their eyelids were drooping, I was sure they'd be unconscious momentarily. Esme and Emmett wandered off into a different part of the house.

I realized that the others had no reason for sitting down. I was perfectly comfortable standing. It was just as restful as stretching out on a bed would be. I knew I would be able to stand like this for a week without moving and I would feel just as relaxed at the end of the seven days as I did at the beginning.

They must sit out of habit. Humans would notice someone standing for hours without ever shifting her weight to a different foot. Even now, I saw Royal run his fingers through his hair and Carlisle cross his legs. Little motions to keep from being too still, too much a vampire. I would have to pay attention to what they did and start practicing.

I rolled my weight back to my left leg. It felt kind of silly.

I continued to observe them quietly, taking pointers on how to be more human again. After almost an hour—Seth and Jacob snoring in harmony on the couch—Edward looked up suddenly, his eyes watching out the window toward the river.

"Finally." He smiled. I followed his gaze out the window. The sun had set, and it was deep, purply night outside, but I could see just as far as before. Nothing was hidden in the darkness; everything had just changed colors.

Liam, still glowering, got up and slunk into the brush just as Alice came into view on the other side of the river. I hadn't even noticed when she had left before, she'd been so quiet since the meeting with the pack. She swung back and forth from a branch like a trapeze artist, toes touching hands, before throwing her body into a graceful flat spin over the river. Esme and Emmett appeared soon after, I hadn't noticed when they'd left either. I'd been so engrossed in observing the others. Esme made a more traditional leap, while Emmett charged right through the water, splashing it so far that splatters hit the back windows. To my surprise, Jasper followed after, his own efficient leap seaming understated, even subtle, after the others.

The huge grin stretching Alice's face was familiar in a dim, odd way. Everyone was suddenly smiling at me—Esme sweet, Emmett excited, Royal a little superior, Carlisle indulgent, and Edward expectant.

Alice skipped into the room ahead of everyone else, her hand stretched out in front of her and impatience making a nearly visible aura around her. In her palm was an everyday brass key with an oversized blue satin bow tied around it.

She held the key out for me and I held out my hand to her. Alice dropped the key into it.

"Happy birthday!" she squealed.

I rolled my eyes. "No one starts counting on the actual day of birth," I reminded her. "Your first birthday is at the year mark, Alice."

Her grin turned smug. "We're not celebrating your vampire birthday. Yet. It's September thirteenth, Beau. Happy nineteenth birthday!"