Sorry, i love you..

Changbin stood at the front gate of his university. His fit was a simple black t-shirt that looked like it was about to burst at how buff he was and some torn faded jeans with star-high converse and a black cap. He loves black too much to not wear it or just wear it like it's the only colour in existence. Now and then glancing at his watch, sighing at how his best friend was once again late, but that's not his foremost concern right now. His long-time crush. The science club president, who just never seems to drop her smile no matter what. The one and only who was able to capture his heart right from the beginning.

"Lucy" changing unconsciously mumbled her name smiling a bit.

she was friendly, kind, beautiful, and whatnot. she was everything someone could ask for, but that's not something THE SEO CHANGBIN would fall for, or was he....? He doesn't know how or when it happened but he just happened to realize that he was head over heels for the one and only science club president after he saw her at the basketball practice.

He never tried figuring out the reason, he didn't find the need to. His life was going smooth with him admiring his crush from afar. Until realization hit him . he needs to do something and that he just can't go on admiring his first love from afar and watch her leave someday. So that's When he turned to Han, his best friend for advice, who was also the one who hit his friend with the realization, and his only answer was "confess".

"what?" Changbin questioned again just to make sure he heard it right. "I said confess. without confessing how would she know ?" and Han was right . he hoped for a different answer but in the end, it was the only appropriate thing to do. it's not like she was someone who doesn't know his existence or anything she was indeed close to him and friendly enough to joke and talk all the time and every day but the problem is Lucy does that with everyone which makes him wonder, what if he is nothing more then a friend.

Despite his negative thoughts overtaking his mind, There he stood at the gates of the university waiting for his best friend who was supposed to give him moral support today but somehow decided to be late. He kept glancing at his watch while little curses were spoken under his breath, he heard someone call his name. upon recognizing the voice he froze as he somehow managed to forget every speech or word he practiced in his room at 3 am, but with the little effort of courage left he faced Her.

"Changbin what are you doing here? it's almost time to get in."

"Lucy.."

Her name was the only thing that he succeeded to squeeze out as he froze again still looking at her, as his words stuck halfway. Lucy wore black jeans with a plain white shirt just a casual look yet Changbin couldn't take his eyes off her. she looked at him confused before calling his name out again. To Changbin's luck Han ran towards him bumping his shoulder awakening Changbin from his daydreaming before letting out a small 'hi'.

"oh hi, Lucy.. i-i was waiting for this dumbass" She giggled at both of them while Changbin who was going through stages of grief due to embarrassment. "good morning I guess. get inside for real now the first class is dance and I am sure you don't wanna be late ." "ah yes, we will be there in a few" Lucy bid goodbye before going in first. Changbin let out a sigh as Han stared at him done . "what? why are you looking at me like that" "Woah so much respect for saving you from embarrassment" "ah sorry you know you are my only friend" Han just mocked changbin's words before he got dragged into the University.

As they both made their way towards their class Han remembered an important question to ask Changbin as he halted his steps before asking "wait" "what now?" Changbin asked as confusion took over his face. "Did you ask Lucy to meet you after uni?" That's when realization once again hit Changbin like a damn truck. He was supposed to tell her about his feeling today and he forgot to ask her if she was free to meet. Han's eyes widened at his reaction as he facepalmed. "I knew this would happen. why did I even trust your ass on this?" Changbin just hung his head down taking slow steps towards his class along with Han . "anyways don't panic you still have science class together ask her to meet you after uni" Changbin lifted his head again smiling before hugging his life-saver friend. "oh god what would I do without you" Changbin spoke as he hugged tighter while Han almost saw the after world from the tight hug "o-okay now let go of me I can't breath" Changbin just mumbled a quick sorry while giggling before dragging Han as he soon smiled as well at his friend's excitement.

The Timed passed faster than expected. Changbin sighed as the clock read 2 pm. Han went to his usual Korean class which means he won't be there in the same class with him for the next 2 hours. He was heading to his science class now. that means Lucy will be there as well. The thought of you just excited him. His heart rate was beating 2x faster blood rushed to his cheeks. She was his happy pill.

He nervously yet happily skipped to his class before pausing near the huge window which gave him a bit of an outside view of the university. Spring blossoms. The pink flowers filled the whole atmosphere making everything look giddy and warm. He loved the view it just suited his mood for today. He smiled one last time before heading to his class.

He slowly opened the classroom door in hopes of being able to avoid the teacher and the teacher wasn't in the class yet Making him feel a rush of relief. He slowly sat in his usual seat which was beside Lucy. She wasn't there yet which was quite weird for him considering she was the earliest to reach the class but he just shrugged it off as he sat in silence while replaying a conversation he was gonna have with her. His thoughts were interrupted at the sudden sound of their class door opening. He flinched a bit before looking towards the entrance. Lucy stood there sweating as if she had just run to the class which exactly was the case. the panic expression she had was replaced by a sign of relief, soon enough a smile appeared on her face as she made her way to sit beside Changbin. "Here drink some water" Changbin handed the bottle a bit concerned as she gladly accepted with a 'thank you.

"you are late today?" Changbin asked out of curiosity as he stared at her with his brown orbs. "just had some work to do and forgot to look at the time" She smiled a bit before answering.

Changbin just nodded as he didn't want to go further into the details to avoid asking her any more questions that can make her uncomfortable.

Changbin has been fiddling his hand throughout the class, nervous about whether to ask her to come after school with him. even thoughts like 'should he even confess ?' passed through his mind. As he kept doing it again and again it didn't go unnoticed by Lucy. as soon as the bell rang she turned towards him making him slightly flinch at her actions. She giggled at his reaction.

"are you okay? you have been nervous throughout the class?" She asked as she packed her books in her bag while being a bit concerned about the short boy beside her.

"Ah actually.." Changbin started unable to figure out how he was going to finish it off. He somehow found the courage to ask.

"Are you free after Uni? if so, do you want to see cherry blossoms together?" He finally managed to ask everything in one breath.

Lucy stopped her movements for a second which made him worried.

"yeah sure," She answered shortly with a smile before bidding a bye and going to her next class.

Changbin being nervous was an understatement he was about to jump off a cliff. He kept glancing at the clock waiting for it to hit 5 pm quickly. He wasn't concentrating at all in the class. all he could think of is how he was gonna tell her without sounding desperate. what if he stuttered? what if he comes off rude or commanding? All these thoughts passed through his mind.

As he wandered daydreaming, the time passed by quickly as his thoughts were interrupted by the bell. He quickly packed his backpack before heading to his locker to arrange his books and stuff. When he was placing the last book in the locker, his phone dinged indicating he received a message.

There were two messages from Han. He immediately checked his best friend's message.

'hey, I can't make it today. Good luck

'don't panic okay. keep yourself chill you can do it

he sighed as he read the message. Now that Han won't be there for moral support it made him more nervous.

as he was about to place his phone back in his pocket he received another message. this time it was from Lucy.

'hey, I am going there first since my class was finished. join me near the lake!'

he smiled at the message before replying with a quick 'okay' and heading to the lake park near the University.

Changbin parked his bike beside a tree before going to Lucy. He just likes to bike a lot as he considers it a workout too and it gives him rather a lot of joy. As he went further near the lake he paused for a bit in taking the sight. She was feeding the birds as she sat on the bench smiling as always. Changbin's heart skipped a beat as he saw how she was always genuine in doing anything.

He sprinted his way towards her before calling her name. "Lucy hey.." he greeted scratching his neck as he stood there awkwardly. She turned towards him upon recognizing his voice as she smiled at him . "hey Binnie, come have a seat" She moved to the other side giving him some space but the boy was too busy blushing at the nickname she called him. "Binnie" she called his name once again snapping him out of his thoughts. "oh sorry" he smiled a bit before taking a seat beside her.

"Looks like your class finished early too?" "yeah the class was so boring" She giggled as he whined about the class while she joined him in complaining about how the class was not all interesting. They both spent 30 minutes talking about their day which made him relaxed as he heard her with so much concentration.

"And then I mixed sugar instead of salt" They both laughed at how his cooking skills were horrible. soon they both settled in comfortable silence until she decided to speak.

"So why did you call me here today?" that just made Changbin remember his aim to call her here. Confession. He needs to Confess. He took a deep breath as he gathered all the courage to look at her. "About that..."

He held her hands together which made her quite confused yet have an unclear thoughts.

"I like you...like a lot like more than a friend. right from freshman year. I had no courage back then so I couldn't tell you about how I felt but now I am confident. so I wanted to confess to you about this no matter what the outcome is." Changbin finished everything in a breath as he slowly looked up. She looked blankly at him until a sad smile appeared on her face as if she was expecting this to happen sooner or later. Changbin's heart dropped as he saw the change in her expression. despite knowing what was about to come he still waited for her answer.

This time she held his hands together as she looked into his eyes before answering. "You are an amazing person Changbin and I am grateful for your companionship always. You are like one of my most understanding friends who I have always been able to lean on. And you are indeed someone could ever wish for but.."

"I can't love you I wouldn't be able to love you even if I try" That just made Changbin's heart drop as he didn't move a bit waiting for her to continue. "it's not because you are unlovable, it's just me. This is who I am" she said as she let go of his hands before looking at the park view as she expected questions from him soon. Changbin was now confused . "what do you mean?"

She smiled as she stared at him again "I am a lesbian Binnie" She smiled sadly as she watched Him. the boy was shocked for a second before sorrow took over his eyes. He diverted his gaze towards the lake as he heard her speak again.

"You are such an amazing friend and you not leaving despite my confession about me says how much valuable of a person you are. I don't deserve you. Thank you for always letting me lean on you. You are the first person to know about me. I was honestly afraid" She laughed sadly. Changbin wiped his tears as he finally turned towards her to speak.

"It's okay I am glad you trusted me to tell me this. You are valid for who you are Lucy and I will always be here even in the future. I don't want it to be a sad end for us soo.." Changbin held his hand out before speaking once again. "Let's be friends good friends like we always were. " She smiled as she shook his hand before hugging him as her tears made their way out.

This was the first time he had ever seen her cry. This made him wonder how long she has been holding everything back.

Soon enough she parted away as he got up. "I will get going now I need some time" "it's understandable let's meet tomorrow starting freshly again with a new beginning" Changbin smiled a bit before he walked towards his bike. He glanced at the buckwheat in his bucket as his tears made their way out again. He kneeled beside the tree as he sobbed remembering everything again. He was heartbroken yet he felt a relief that she trusted him enough to tell him something that she held in for so long. He just felt sorry for falling for you. He felt sorry towards him for loving you...