Chapter 2: Childhood Arc: One

Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto.

I am most certainly not among giants. This I determined because I accidentally wave a hand in front of my face confused by the semi-mobility of my limbs after a car crash.

It is not my long-fingered, calloused hand with neatly trimmed nails to type better essays with. It is pudgy and soft. The fingers are small and chubby, and I can't force them to open and close properly. It is a newborn baby's hand. The fact shocks me into a complete silence with nary a whisper.

I am a baby. I am a baby. I AM A BAB— Dear lord. Where am I?

Alas, having a baby's vision, I am unable to make out the people around me. I wouldn't be able to properly focus for at least a month or two more, if I'd remembered how much I slept correctly. Which I probably didn't, now that I thought a bit about it.

Alright. There's no way to tell where I am. There's not going to be one for a while. So why am I a baby?

The only thought that I could possibly come up with is that I had died and my sister had very much seen my crushed body at the bus stop. And now my consciousness has been replanted elsewhere.

But the details eluded me. I simply couldn't remember their faces or my own. Did I have blonde or black hair, were my eyes blue, green, brown, grey?

Mama had believed in a form of Buddhism, but I never claimed to or really believed in being reborn elsewhere. Hell, I didn't even believe in God. I hadn't met a god between my death, and subsequent rebirth either. Yet here I am, a baby again.

Someone must have made a cosmic error. That thought amused me, picturing the amount of punishment that poor apprentice shinigami must be enduring due to the cosmic fuck up.

I don't have a clean slate, I have a partially scrapped one.

I pass my days in the semblance of a demon baby from the deepest pit of hell. My new parents must have be exhausted by my constant screaming and crying, but I'm not in the mind frame to be considerate of them.

Dad. Mama. Sis. It's almost cathartic to just scream and hope they understood that I don't want them to be upset about my death.

I love them. They are my family.

The logical part of my brain told me that technically since I died, I have a new family, new parents and everything and that I really ought to move on with my new life, and to not spend so much morbid time thinking about whether or not I was being buried, or if I was forgotten or—

It didn't help.

The first time my eyes focus enough to make out things above me, I am greeted by the sight of a dog. A big, black dog with an eye patch.

I scream.

"Oi. Be quiet."

I pause screaming for a moment. "uah?" The dog talks?

"Of course, I talk. Silly Hana" I'm Hana?

"Yes." The dog waves his tail in my direction, and I unconsciously reach for it. He pulls it away very quickly. "You're rather more aware than I thought you would be."

"Buah?" What? I'm having a conversation?

"Then, most puppies are more mobile than you by now with much less sense. It must be because you're a human child. The name's Kuromaru, pup. Welcome to the family." With another flick of his tail, Kuromaru moves away.

A dog with an eye patch named Kuromaru who talked. I certainly had no capacity to actually think thoughts towards dogs and be understood before. And my own name is Hana.

It cannot possibly be. I don't think it is, but let's wait until Mom and Dad come back to see if it's actually true

Mom, or the woman that I assume is Mom since I'd never been able to make out anyone's face properly before, sweeps into the room somewhat later. She's wearing a green jacket.

"Kuromaru says..." I'm not paying too much attention to what Kuromaru had said as she picks me up. She has a forehead protector and two very familiar triangle tattoos on her face.

Her hair is dark brown and wild.

She has fangs which I see when she smiles.

My name is Hana.

Kuromaru must be her dog. He could talk.

"So whaddya think, Little Nose?"

So it actually is true then.

"Buah." I say and curse every god I could possibly think of. I'm in Naruto universe? I died and now I'm fictional? How is this fair?

Tsume Inuzuka picks me up. "I thought you'd want to meet them, too. They've just been born, same as you, and you'd want to choose your partner." Choose my partner—Hana had three dogs. What were their names again?

I couldn't remember their names. The thing is, I hadn't been all that interested in remembering anything about the life of Hana Inuzuka back when I'd watched Naruto the first time around. She just isn't a main character. Caught between Kakashi's generation and Naruto's, there wasn't a whole lot going on with her. She's mainly just Kiba's older sister that didn't interact with anyone.

I'm sure I'll know soonish?

"And here they are." Tsume sets me down inside a pen. "So, who do you like more?" I gurgle. Hana kept all three of them in canon, right? Why'd she have three when everyone else seemed to be alright with just the one?

"New friend!" "New friend!" "Play!" Suddenly I was surrounded by three furry faces and three wet noses. All three of them. The Haimaru Triplets.

"Play!" "Play!" "Play!" Can't yet. If I could understand them, and Kuromaru. Surely they'd understand me.

Not very big. Play later?

"No play?" Play later. Names first?

"Name?" "Name?" "Name?" They were exhausting and absolutely identical in almost every way.

I'm Hana. I think, and try to figure something out, because clearly, whatever Hana had named them the first time around wasn't going to work. I have no clue what their separate names were, and now isn't the time for me to remember.

"Hana!" "Hana!" "Hana!"

Ichi, Ni, and San, I think with mild sarcasm. What else are they besides thing one, thing two, and thing three?

"Ichi." "Ni." "San!" Oh no. Are they serious? Oh no.

"Ichi!" "Ni!" "San!" They are serious.

"Alright. I think that's enough for today. You look tired, Hana." I am promptly picked up and moved back to my crib. And that, is how I broke canon just a little by naming Hana's dogs.

A.N. Hello Lovely People. Thanks for favoriting following and reviewing!

Special shout out to R-Dizzle for being the first reviewer of this massive self indulgence.

I find it kind of sad that Hana's dogs are simply known as the Haimaru triplets. They don't have their own names in canon, although perhaps they've been named by fanon. At any rate, Hana has no clue what they are named, and thus they've been inadvertently named One, Two, and Three. Not much better, but still a step up from 'Hey, you there.'

Until next time!

~Tavina

Updated 1-31-2019