3

With Carson and I becoming better friends, I had definitely wanted to hang out with him over the Christmas break, but I had no such luck. Over most of the Christmas break, he was away visiting family. I, of course, had to find out from his dad. I'm not sure why I wasn't expecting anything else from Carson.

However, on the final day before school started up again, I was lucky enough to catch him on a day he wasn't busy.

"Fuck, am I ever not ready for school." He said glumly as we finished another Halo match. "It feels like yesterday the break began."

I laughed in agreement. "No kidding. You still owe Mr. Graves, what, three assignments?"

"Whatever. I don't care." He said disinterestedly as he put down his controller.

I followed suit. "You know, it was really kind of him to give you those extensions. Maybe you should finish them."

"Yeah, I should." He replied. "But I won't. Not my fault his assignments are boring as shit. There's no real reason for me to do them."

"You seem kind of bitter, dude." I noted. "You okay?"

He waved me off. "Yeah, I'm fine, buddy. I'm just tired. I only just got back."

"Oh, right." I said flatly. "How's the rest of the family?"

"Y'know… They're family." He said in a tired manner.

"Well… Did you do anything cool while you were down there? Meet any cool people?"

"Nope." came his reply. Sometimes, as much as I liked Carson, it was really hard to have a conversation with the guy.

"Well, looking forward to school?" I asked him, hoping to find some kind of topic that might rekindle his energized spirit.

"Classes? Fuck no. I mean, maybe for May, but that's it." he replied.

"Wait, May?" I asked him. "I thought you two had broken up."

He nodded. "Yeah, we did. She just wasn't ready. But being away from home for a while gives a guy some time to think, and I'm not ready to give her up. I'm gonna keep trying, and I'm gonna get her.���

"You sound certain you're going to end up with her." I noted, trying to hide the bitterness in my tone.

Carson nodded. "I always do." He told me.

Our conversation died out as we picked up the controllers again and resumed our game. A few minutes later, the door opened. I had assumed it was Mr. Carter at first, but someone completely different entered.

It was a girl of maybe 17, possibly 18, with brown hair flowing right down to her ass. I had to admit, she had quite the shapely figure, a very adult one, like she looked older than she was. A serious, almost stern yet still beautiful face helped supplement this look. She was carrying several heavy-looking bags, travel bags or something, with her into the kitchen. "I'm home!" She announced, unaware of my presence in the house just yet.

"You're late." Carson dryly replied. "A few weeks late."

"Well, what if I didn't want to see the rest of our family? Maybe I've got more important things to do. Let me guess, you're playing Halo right now." she snapped back. Even her tone was naturally stern.

"I don't think they'd want to see you either." Carson replied in an annoyed tone.

"You are such an asshole." The girl snapped back. "I'd rather hang out with Craig than you."

"Yeah, so would his new girlfriend." Carson shouted back across the house, now with more of a humorous tone in his voice.

The girl was removing things from her bag as she continued. Clearly, these two were not used to having the good manners of talking face to face. "Are you shitting me?! Poor girl." She grabbed her bags and went upstairs, not even noticing me.

"Who was…?" I asked Carson, gesturing to the staircase.

"Jenna, my sister." Carson explained. "Decided she'd rather hang out with mom over the Christmas break than with the rest of us. Good riddance."

"Don't like her?" I asked him humorously.

"Oh my God, have you SEEN her?" Carson asked with a renewed angry energy in his voice. "To everyone else in the fucking world, she's just another grade 11. But no, to her, she's queen of everything, and everyone else is just a piece of dirt under her foot." He scoffed. "Every once in a while, she stays at dad's for a week, to gloat about the newest mediocre thing she did in bio or something."

"She can't be that bad…" I trailed off.

"Dude. She hung out with mom instead of the whole freaking family because she figured we weren't worth her time. Seriously. Fuck her." He angrily grabbed his controller. "Are we gonna play or what?"

When Carson was angry, he found a way to complain about everything in the first twenty minutes of his tantrum. The next twenty minutes was just silence. Then the trough hit, where he wouldn't want to do anything but just sit and stare at a wall for the next half hour.

During that trough, Jenna came back downstairs, and sat down in the living room. When her eyes clapped on me, she did a double take.

"Oh. Hello." She said formally. "Who are you?"

"Oh, sorry! I'm Adam, Adam Watson." I reached forward to shake her hand. "Nice to meet you."

She made no effort to reach her hand out to meet mine. "Jenna Poursanidis. Pleasure." She said disinterestedly. "Carson, don't you have to do all of your chores before having guests over?"

"I did all of my chores, Jenna." Carson replied, his anger quickly building again.

"The dishwasher's full." Jenna replied condescendingly. "You're supposed to empty it."

"I already emptied it today!" Carson exclaimed, annoyed.

"Well, it's full again, so empty it." She replied, annoyed as well. Right in that situation, I wanted to shrink and leave under the door. I felt awkward as all fuck.

"Then I guess dad filled it twice today. It's not my job to empty it twice in one day. If it's bothering you so much, you do it." Carson replied bitterly. "Could we please not do this while I have someone over?"

"Well, at least you're not trying to have sex with this one." Jenna replied, eyeing me up and down. "As far as I know."

"Oh my God, I can't fucking deal with this." Carson said, putting his head in his hands.

I took over, a rare occurrence for me. "Dude, it's okay." I said, clapping a hand on his back. "Dishes can wait. Do you wanna watch The Avengers? I'd be down for that."

I knew Carson pretty well by this point, and knew he was never not in the mood to watch that movie. It was like his Bible. Instantly, he perked up, but not by much. "Sure, yeah, whatever. I'll go get it." He replied, still clearly upset but hopefully on the path to getting better. With that, he trudged off to his room.

As soon as he was out of eyeshot, I sighed and made my way to the kitchen. By now, I had a vague idea of where things needed to go, and hated conflict, so I opened the dishwasher and started to put stuff away. Jenna followed me.

"That's not your job, you don't have to do that! Don't just cover up for Carson because he's lazy." Jenna said. Her words were condescending, but I noted her tone reflected actual care. Did I have a gift for tone or was the rest of the world stupid? Maybe Nicole was rubbing off on me.

I turned back and smiled at her. "Yeah, but if I don't put these away, it's never going to get done. Besides, Carson forgot that last time I was here, I hid The Avengers under his bed."

She smiled back. "Well, thanks. Let me help." She went right to work, helping me put the dishes away.

"So, Poursanidis? Not Carter? If I may ask." I asked her.

She nodded. "Mom's last name. I always took after my mom more anyway." She replied. "You didn't hear this from me, but the Carter family is rude, stupid and misogynistic." She sighed, holding a plate and not moving while in thought, before continuing. "Especially my out-of-state family. I feel sorry for whatever girl Craig is dating. Unless Carson's lying, and that wouldn't be a surprise."

"Damn, you guys hate each other." I thought aloud.

Jenna was silent for a second. "Not hate." She said finally. "Carson just needs to get his shit together. He needs a major attitude shift. Then again, all grade nines do." She realized what she just said and whipped her head so her eyes could meet mine. "No offense." She quickly added.

I would have said "None taken," but that would have been a lie. Eventually, the dishwasher was done, and as Jenna closed it, I followed Carson into his room.

"You going to take forever?" I asked him as I approached his room.

"I can't find it!" He said desperately. I walked into his room, reached under his bed, and pulled out the DVD.

He looked up and noticed, and his eyebrows met in a V shape. "Oh, you just suck." He said, half-joking, half-serious.

I just laughed as I handed him the DVD. He held it in his hands for a few seconds before speaking. "Yeah, I just feel like May is the one for me. Not Natasha, not Tara, not anyone else."

Woah, where did that come from? "Those are your past flings, I assume?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Natasha is, yeah."

"…And Tara?" I asked.

He shrugged again. "I dunno. Random name I made up. Just making a point." He rolled his shoulders and started to make his way down the hallway with me in tow.

"I mean, you have to admit, on top of everything else, May is fine as hell." He added.

"Oh, trust me, dude, I know." I replied. Even now, the thought of May still gave me the warm fuzzies and made me smile. I still would have given, and was giving, everything to become the type of guy she would want.

"What does that mean?" He stopped walking and turned to me, grinning. "You got a thing for her too?"

"Well…" I said, looking down at my shoes.

"Aw, buddy!" He said excitedly, punching me in the arm. "No way! The race is on, bro!"

"Race? What race?" I asked him.

"May the best man win, dude!" He answered. He started to walk back towards the living room as he added, "It's cool you like her and all, but I'm totally going to get her first."

"Ah, great, treating a girl like property." Jenna interjected, sneering at Carson as we all entered the living room at the same time. "I'm sure she really appreciates that. Just like every other girl you pick up, bang, then never talk to again." She shot me a 'See what I mean?' look and went off up the stairs, presumably to her own room.

"Ah, screw her." Carson said, blowing her off. "We appreciate May. She just doesn't get it."

"Right." I said, but only half-heartedly.

***

Going back to school after the break was actually easier than I had thought. I was on top of all of my classes so homework wasn't an issue, and I actually enjoyed my classes and teachers.

As well, it was an opportunity to catch up with old friends. Carson and I reconnected of course, and May was in three of my classes. The one I didn't get to reconnect with was Megan. She didn't even show up for the first student council meeting of the new year, even though Matt did. Matt himself was eyeing me throughout the whole meeting. Not menacingly, but almost more so out of curiosity. It still creeped me out.

Tuesday was a much better day than that Monday. During first period, May and I continued a developing habit we shared – texting in class. It was a great way to spend boring class time as well as getting to know her, plus the little giggles she gave when I sent funny texts were priceless.

class is so boringggggg was the text she sent me about halfway through the class. Yup, her grammar was far from perfect.

Yeah, where are the interesting classes where I can just talk face-to-face with you all class and get graded on that? ;) I replied. As I had come to realize, I was totally Megan – especially with the 'competition' thing Carson had mentioned, every text was basically a disguised plea to get May to know me better.

Luckily for me, though, it actually worked. lol, im not busy lunch. :)

My heart flew into my throat. Hell yes. I got to have some time alone with May freaking Stevens. The girl who can make all of my troubles go away with her smile alone. This was going to be awesome. I could barely hide my smile or control my fingers as I typed my response.

Great! :) Where would you wanna go?

how about the small hall near the caf? :) she replied. You mean the one that used to be for vending machines, but is now basically uninhabited now that they were moved? You mean in a hallway, alone together, where no one else goes? Sign me the fuck up!

***

It went off like clockwork. After second period math, I met up with May in the little vending machine hall. I didn't dare tell Carson during math, since we were in the middle of our 'competition,' and he might try to use the fact that I'm meeting alone with May against me.

"Hey!" I said as casually as I could when I turned down that hallway and saw that May was already there.

"Oh, hey." She replied, giving me a huge smile, outlining every beautiful feature in her face. Her hazel eyes dancing, her beautiful little freckles, her perfect white teeth, just everything. "Thanks for doing this."

"Are you kidding?!" I blurted out. "Thank YOU!" I sat down next to her, and we began to make small talk about our lives as we ate our lunch.

For the next twenty minutes, we talked about everything: Classes, parents, friends, drama class, my new interest in karate, how she was thinking of getting an agent so she could get a head-start on her TV acting career, etc. Eventually ,as it always does with teenagers, the conversation turned to relationships.

"So why don't you like Carson anyway? He's a pretty good guy." I figured by complimenting another guy in front of her, she might go for me in the long run. At the very least, it might disguise my motives.

She sighed. "I don't know.�� She said simply. "The date went well as far as dates go. It's just… I don't think I like that kind of guy. You know, all flashy and stuff. I like people who are confident, but I guess he was… too confident?" She sighed again. "I don't know if I'm making sense.

"No, you're fine." I smiled at her. "Go on."

"Well, Carson is really cool, but he seems like he's just sort of… 'that's all,' you know? I felt like I knew him from just our first date. I knew who he was, I knew what he wanted, I felt like I knew everything about him. From there on in, it just wasn't interesting."

"You feel like you know him already?" I asked. "Well, you're one up on me."

She laughed. "You two know each other well?"

I nodded. "We're friends."

She nodded, then looked down at her lunch. After a bit, she sighed again and started putting her lunch away. "I don't know. I just feel like a bad person. Like, there's nothing wrong with Carson. He's a great guy, but I want a guy who is less… cardboard. More like he can really appreciate me as a real person. Someone who is a cool guy, but at the same time, I feel like I want to get to know more, not less."

"Someone like who?" I asked her.

She shifted around in her seat, clearly nervous. "Someone like…" She started nervously, looking me straight in the eyes. "Someone like you."

Nope. No way. Absolutely no freaking way. I was midway between having one of my increasingly rare panic attacks, and having Handel's La Rejouissance playing throughout my whole body. Truth be told, I didn't even get why the only females in my life all found me attractive, but especially in this case, I sure as hell wasn't complaining!

May. May Stevens. Liked Adam Watson. The shy nobody. I still couldn't believe it. Breathlessly, I managed to choke out, "Really?"

May nodded, tracing her eyes down my arms. I think she noticed the lifting I had been doing. I guess even a month in, it was starting to show. God damn, I was just loving life. The girl of my dreams, the one who made my heart sing like never before, said she liked me.

"So you… L-like me?" I managed. May showed a small smile, and nodded again.

"Do you like me too?" She asked quietly.

Even if I wanted to use words, I couldn't find any in that moment, but something in me just told me to go for it. In one motion, I put my arms around her and pulled May, May Stevens, in for a kiss. I just had to. In that moment, it felt so incredibly right.

As soon as our lips touched, I swear there were fireworks. I had never felt so happy in my entire life. If May hadn't melted in my arms, I definitely would have melted in hers. The feeling was so intense, you could hear the air crackling. I may sound like a sap, but I could have honestly stayed there forever.

As our lips departed, our eyes slowly opened as we stared into each others' eyes. no words were said. No words were needed. May and I did it. We were finally together.

Both of us were staring into each others' eyes in a daze before a loud cough broke us out of our trance. I turned my head down the hallway to see the one person I hope I wouldn't: Megan Schneider.

Megan had always looked sweetly innocent in the past, but right now she looked pissed. Like, full-on angry. It was something I had never really seen before, and it intimidated me like hell.

The fact that she spoke calmly while donning such an angry face intimidated me even more. "May, do you know what you're doing?" She asked May calmly.

I groaned internally. This was NOT going to be good. "Excuse me?" May asked in an offended voice. "This is none of your business."

"He kissed you, didn't he?" Asked Megan, folding her arms.

May stood up and proudly stuck out her chest. "What, jealous?" May challenged her. "Yeah, he did. What are you going to do about it?"

I looked around. Of course we would happen to be in the only hallway in the school that only had one exit. The other way was pretty much a dead end, and Megan blocked my only exit. I would just have to power through this.

"Nothing!" Megan proudly, almost arrogantly, declared. "I just thought you should know who he really is."

May snuck a look back at me and surveyed my expression. "What do you mean?" She asked Megan in a less confident voice. Megan was playing her cards right – the status quo was shifting.

"Just a few weeks ago, your precious Adam was getting blown by me in the nutrition room." Well, wave good-bye to the shy Megan Schneider; I officially had no idea who I was dealing with at this point. "You can't trust him. He can't commit and he manipulates girls to get his way."

Anger boiled up from within me and erupted like Vesuvius. "That's a lie and you know it!" I yelled at Megan, taking some of her confident attitude down. "You tricked me into going into that room. You told me you were going to blow me and didn't take no for an answer, even when I initially refused. You said it was no-strings-attached, then only after got mad at me because you couldn't handle your own emotions. You manipulated me, Megan! YOU manipulated ME to get your way. Then you got mad at me and apparently, blabbed to…" I trailed off. Do I say 'my girlfriend'? Nah, that would be too presumptuous. "…May, just so you could get some sense of twisted satisfaction!"

Megan was taken aback at this point, and I was glad to see from her expression that May was, at least, somewhat back on my side. However, I could tell this was far from over when Megan regained her former confident attitude and folded her arms again.

"Oh really? Do you have the same excuse for Nicole?" She challenged me.

The color visibly drained from my face. She knew about Nicole and I? Since when?!

May turned back to look at me. Potential hurt was in her eyes. "The camera girl?" She asked me weakly. "You said you were just friends."

I challenged Megan with my eyes. She was just guessing. She had to have been. "I don't know what you're talking about." I told her stiffly.

Megan chuckled menacingly. "Oh really? What, you don't remember fooling around with her in the Student Council office, or trying to hold her hand afterwards?"

Son of a bitch. Fuck. FUCK! I KNEW I was paranoid for a reason. She was watching us the whole time. I tried to formulate a response, but nothing came out.

"Adam… Tell her she's wrong." May's ever-weakening voice piped up.

I looked at her, my face slowly turning sadder. She cleared her throat. "Tell her she's wrong, Adam."

I couldn't do it. She was taking it completely out of context, but I simply couldn't do it. I couldn't say she was wrong.

I could see May's eyes welling up. "Please, Adam?" She begged. "You're not that kind of guy, right?"

Megan immediately went over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay." she comforted her. "You didn't know. I just figured you should know before anything else might happen."

"Fuck you!" I yelled at Megan. "You've turned her against me. You've taken everything out of context."

"So you admit it's true!" Megan spat back.

May slowly looked up at me. "Adam…. I just shared my first kiss with you. That's something really special to me. Now I find out it's worth nothing to you. That I'm worth nothing to you. You ruined my first kiss."

"May, you're worth a lot to me! I swear!" I protested. "You're special to me!"

"Am I?" She asked, her sadness turning into anger. "I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me for me. But no, I'm just another notch in your bedpost." Convincing herself Megan was right, she got angrier and angrier until she bolted forward and pushed me into the wall, suddenly very angry at me. I was able to steady myself against the wall, but May looked like she wasn't done. "Damn you, Adam Watson!" she yelled as she bolted forwards again. "Damn you to hell!"

"Woah, woah, woah!" A random grade 12 guy with long hair almost covering his face stepped forward, grabbing May by the shoulders and pulling him back. "No need for that stuff in this school. Keep it together, you two." He turned to May. "I don't know who this guy is, but he's not worth it. Just calm down, go to the washroom if you need to, to freshen up or something. Classes start soon." May threw herself from his grip as she stomped away. The grade 12 approached me. "What's the story?"

"A lot of stuff. Out of context. Private stuff." I simply answered, barely able to process what just happened myself.

The senior nodded. "Alright, I get you." He simply said. He actually looked kind of familiar, but I couldn't place where I last saw him. "I don't know what you did, but watch yourself." He cautioned me as he walked away, leaving Megan, myself, and the small crowd we managed to gather.

With her still staring at me, I gathered my stuff together and pushed past Megan to get to my next class. I stopped and turned back to her to see she was still facing me. "What is wrong with you?!" I angrily asked her.

She almost looked sorry, but held her ground. "I said nothing but the truth." She simply said. "You used Nicole for intercourse, you're using my feelings for intercourse. You would have done the same for May too. You think you care, but-"

I didn't want to listen anymore. With her in mid-sentence, I stomped away, not unlike how May herself did. Megan was wrong, and rash, and downright mean. And it cost me my dream girl.

The only thing I felt was anger at Megan until I remembered something May had said. I had ruined her first kiss. Just a few months ago, I was mad as hell at Nicole for basically the same reason, and this situation was much bigger. Of course May was angry with me.

God dammit, I ruined May's first kiss. I understood what that felt like. No wonder she was so angry with me. I was fooling around with multiple girls, and even though Megan blowing me wasn't even my fault, I managed to screw up everything.

How? I wasn't even THAT much of a dick… The universe just must hate me, I reasoned with myself. If Megan wasn't there at lunch… Or if Megan just kept her feelings to herself… Or if she hadn't even blown me when I told her no! It was Megan's fault, really.

***

The last two classes went by awkwardly as hell. I wouldn't dare look at May in either class, which was a real challenge in drama class. I managed to do it, but I was caught in this weird state between self-blame and anger towards Megan. I had no clue who to be angry at anymore, all I knew was that I was angry. And sad. Eugh… Everything was screwed up, and it all came from nothing. How did everything turn to shit so fast?

At least I still had Nicole. No matter what, I wouldn't lose Nicole. Hell, I could even tell her about the whole thing and she'd know just what to say. I was so grateful, more grateful ever at that moment, to have Nicole. I was truly blessed to know that she was still there for me, and wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

***

After school, Nicole was waiting outside the weights room for me. When she saw me, she cheerfully waved.

"Hey squirt! How was your day?" She asked me chipperly as she opened the door to the empty weights room and flicked on the light.

"Well-"

"I'm just kidding, I don't care." She told me with a wink. I got in and threw my stuff down. God, how was I going to tell her?

When she closed the door, meaning just the two of us were in there, her mood visibly shifted. Suddenly, she was a lot less chipper. Almost… Worried. Conflicted? I couldn't tell.

"You okay?" I said shakily as she eyed the floor.

She looked up at me with a somewhat glazed expression. "Hm? Oh, yeah, sorry. Long day. A lot on my mind." She reached into her bag and pulled out the CD I got her for Christmas. "I figure some music might help cool the nerves, huh?" She gave me a small smile as she walked over to the CD player in the weights room and popped in the CD. After she pressed play, Poison Arrow by ABC filled the room.

"Ready to start lifting?" She asked me. "If you wanna do the set, I'll spot you."

"Actually…" I began slowly, not quite knowing how to form the sentences I wanted to say. "Actually, before we start, I've got some news."

"Uh oh." She said, only half playfully. "Do you have news or do you have news?"

"…What does that even mean?" I asked her.

"Never mind." She said dismissively. "Actually… I've got some news too."

I definitely needed that distraction. Hopefully, she would forget I even said I had news. I so desperately wanted to tell her, yet at the same time, I didn't know how I would phrase it. I had never been such a complicated mess of negative emotions in my life, and while I wanted to expel them all, I also wanted to keep them bottled up… I don't know why. Perhaps in fear that they would unleash something awful, or make her sad, or start something bad… well, worse.

"Oh, okay." I said, a little too eagerly. "You want to go first?"

"Sure." She shrugged, becoming noticeably more uncomfortable. "You sure you wanna hear it?"

I nodded. "You help me with all of my problems. I might as well at least listen to yours."

She smiled at me. "Thanks, squirt." She said warmly. "Well… I… uh…" she started fiddling with her hands.

I'd seen Nicole nervous before, but never this nervous. Whatever this was, it sure was causing a battle in her mind. "C'mon, Nicole." I humorously said. "You were the one to teach me to just man up and say it."

Nicole nodded seriously and cleared her throat nervously. "Well… The thing is…" She paused to take in a breath. "Today, a big thing finally happened. And I dunno how to feel about it."

"What happened, Nicole?" I asked, suddenly concerned. Was she hurt? Was she okay?

"Phil kissed me."

Chapter Eight

For the first few seconds after she told me, I couldn't perceive anything. For all I knew, I couldn't see, think, or hear. My mind refused to process what I had just heard. In retrospect, I guess I should have been grateful to Nicole. What she just told me seemed to render my problems unimportant.

"He what?!" I finally managed to ask.

Nicole shrugged. "Phil kissed me." She said, a little bit too emotionlessly.

"I thought you… I didn't know… Were you…" I managed to say. This caused Nicole to gave me a soft chuckle.

"Oh, come on, you big baby." She remarked. "It's not that bad."

"But I didn't know you liked him or anything." I replied. "I didn't know you wanted him to kiss you!"

Nicole shifted where she was standing uncomfortably.

Within a second it dawned on me. "He kissed you without your consent, didn't he?"

Nicole was trying to make a point (whether it was to me or to herself, I wasn't sure) of not showing any emotion whatsoever. Wordlessly, with a blank face, she shrugged.

"You should have told him something! Are you okay?" I asked persistently.

"Yeah, of course I'm okay, squirt." she replied flatly.

"Why didn't you say anything to him after?" I asked her, coming a bit closer to her.

Again, she shrugged. "I dunno. It's like, I didn't want him to, but I never said it was bad either."

"Well, did you like it after?" I asked. For some reason, I didn't want her to say yes.

She shrugged yet again. "I dunno." She repeated.

Apparently I had to do all of the talking. "So… What's going to happen? Are you two gonna stay friends?"

Nicole shrugged again. Her shrugging actually got to me by this point. "Well, like, it did kinda feel…" she trailed off.

"Feel what?" I asked her. "He kissed you without making sure you were even okay with it. Why didn't you just shut him down?"

"I dunno." She replied. Her shoulders were going inwards at this point. She was clearly uncomfortable.

"He didn't threaten you or anything, did he?" I asked her.

Her eyes shot straight up at mine. "No! No, nothing like that."

"Then what? I asked her.

"I didn't say I didn't like it, okay?" She blurted out angrily, then immediately softened. "I just… I dunno how to feel right now. I just don't."

The most important thing I took from that was that Nicole was upset. Without a second thought, I walked up to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She looked up from the ground into my eyes with an unsure look on her face. Seconds later, we were wrapped in a tight hug.

"You going to be okay?" I asked her sympathetically.

"Oh, shut it." She replied angerlessly. We stayed in the hug, unmoving, until she decided to speak again. "I just… Look, I don't know my own feelings right now, okay?" She broke off the hug. "Phil asked me out for next Tuesday night, a week from now. I haven't answered yet, but… I dunno."

"Do what you feel is right and I'll support you." I told her seriously.

"I know, dumbass." She replied. "I just… I dunno. I dunno how to feel. He forced himself on me. He kissed me without me being okay with it. I shouldn't wanna do this."

"It's okay." Was all I could think to respond.

She gave me a sarcastic smile. "Thanks, I feel so much better." She dryly replied.

I shrugged. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know what to make of the situation.

We stood in silence with the music echoing throughout the room for a solid ten seconds before Nicole spoke up again. "So… I wasn't the only one with news. What's up?"

Oh, crap. I wasn't sure whose news was worse for me. Suddenly, I really didn't want to tell her, and looked around at the room, as if something could have saved me from telling her. Recognizing defeat after realizing there was no other option, I spoke up, not quite knowing how to begin.

"Well… Okay, well…" I nervously began. Nicole was obviously impatient, but being a good sport, kept up an attentive face as I struggled. "Well, May, she… She kissed me today too."

"Woah, twinsies!" Nicole blurted out. She didn't smile at first, but after holding her hand out for a high five, let a small one slip. "You earned it, hotshot. Up top!"

"Yeah, well…" I started nervously.

Nicole lowered her hand. "What? Now you got guilt? Yeah, you were shallow, but you got her now, dude. Just treat her right and you'll forgive yourself. Just don't be a prick again."

"Well…" My word of the day. "Right after I did, Megan… Well, she was her kiss me and confronted us… She said everything… She saw us, Nicole, she fucking saw us!"

I was breathing heavily at this point, worrying that my panic attacks might be making a comeback. Nicole's expression, however, showed only confusion. Clearly what I just explained and what was in my head were two different things. With a few intakes of air, I slowed down and explained everything. Nicole sighed when my explanation was over. "Oh, boy." She said, her tone deciding not to show where she was going to go next.

"Squirt, let me level with you…" She began calmly, but lost that calmness immediately. "What were you thinking?! I told you to NOT be the asshole who hurts her. I'm not even sorry you lost May. You deserve it."

Fuck. That was the last thing I wanted to hear right now. With a tiny voice, I managed to ask, "Why…?"

"Do you even listen, Adam? When a girl is upset, you comfort her. If Megan was avoiding you, that was a clear sign to approach her and make sure she was okay. This whole thing could have been avoided if you just showed a little kindness." She gave me a look of bitter disgust. "For once. Plus, if one girl blows you one week, don't get another girl to do something with you the next. It's common fucking knowledge."

We stood in continued music-filled silence before Nicole got fed up with the CD player and shut it off. She sighed, calming down yet still angry. "I forgave you too quickly last time." She faced me, malice in her eyes. "My mistake. If you're going to keep treating girls like crap, I don't want to hang out with you. Go find your own ride home."

I couldn't protest, I couldn't speak. I could only look into her eyes, which I found to be cold and empty. I didn't get to look at them for long before she turned around and promptly left the weight room.

Shit. Before realizing what I was doing, I was running after her.

"Nicole, wait! Please, wait!" I pleaded as I ran down the hallway. A couple of seniors responded to what they could only presume as a bad breakup or a couple's fight, and gave me an "Oooooh!" of public shaming as I approached her.

"Look, Adam." Nicole started, still walking. "I want you to learn your lesson. Just…. We can talk later, okay? Just not now."

I grabbed her by the arm. "Nicole, everything's been shot to hell for me today. I lost everyone else who matters to me. Please don't tell me I'm losing you too." I could feel tears coming on, but I held them back.

Nicole, unexpectedly, stifled a laugh. "Woah there, William Shatner." She said sarcastically. "I used to think high school drama wasn't a real thing. Now I see why it exists. Quit being so melodramatic, it's not like I'm saying goodbye to you forever or anything. I just want you to learn, and I want you to know when you fucked up. And guess what?" She paused, stopped walking, and leaned in close to my face. "You fucked up." she whispered.

She leaned back and gave me a small smile, but this smile simply said 'You know I'm right' and had no warmth behind it. "Now please let go of my arm." she told me. "Find your own ride home, and think about what you've done. I'm not going to forgive you this time until you actually see what you've done."

"But Megan was… I…" I blubbered.

Nicole sighed. "I swear, I'm going to hang myself before you understand what 'consequences' are." She shook herself free from my arm with one jerk. "Bye, Adam. I'm trusting you to talk to me when you accept that you're only human."

With that, she walked away. With Megan, it stung; with May, it hurt, but with Nicole, I couldn't bear to face what just happened because Nicole always spoke the truth. I kept trying to deny it to myself, but at least to someone else, what I did was wrong.

I sighed aloud, not even caring who around me was staring and making their own backstory for Nicole and I at this point. I made for the main hall, sat down on one of the benches and buried my face in my hands, thinking about nothing and everything. I couldn't even think about what had just happened, or who was the enemy, or whether I ACTUALLY fucked up. I could only sit there, every few minutes reminding me I should probably call my mom so that when she was done work in a few hours, she could pick me up. I never got the energy to do it.

"You alright?" Came a voice. I looked up to see the same senior from earlier, who broke up the inevitable fight between May and I. He had unusually long, kind of frizzy brown hair, and a face that showed perplexity as opposed to concern. I never noticed it before, but the guy wore all black.

"I'm fine." I lied. "Missed the bus."

The senior raised his eyebrows. "Not your day, is it?" He looked at his watch and made a motion. "Come on. I'll give you a ride."

"You don't even know where I live!" I replied.

"It's a long walk to my car. You can explain the route to me." He retorted. "Would you like a ride?"

I had been so used to Nicole's forceful attitude that a question asking my permission kind of caught me off guard. "Um… y-yes." I said nervously.

"Alrighty! Let's go mobile!" He said with a small smile, walking down the hallway. He waited for me to catch up with him, then proceeded to walk down the hallway.

"So, ready to tell me the story now?" He asked me, alluding to the situation with Megan earlier. I groaned out loud (without meaning to) and shook my head.

"I don't really see how it concerns you." I simply said, eyeing the floor.

The senior laughed. "Want me to introduce myself? That might clear a thing or two up."

I shot him a confused look before nodding. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and outstretched his hand. Gingerly, I shook it. "Paul Stevens." He smugly declared. I had all but a heart attack as I realized the implications of his last name. Still in the handshake, he leaned in and grinned. "Couldn't you just die?"

He released my hand and laughed to himself. "Don't worry, don't worry." he clarified. "I'm not mad or anything. If anything, I'm curious. I just want the story." He continued walking, and I followed.

"So you're May's brother?" I asked him.

"Cousin, actually." He clarified once again. "We actually don't talk all that much."

"But in the hallway… You talked to her like you don't even know her! You said, 'I don't know who-'"

"Check your memory." He interrupted. "I said I didn't know who you are, which is partially correct. Apart from karate, I'd never seen you before. But I've definitely seen May before." He paused for effect. "Did you hear what you hear? Did you see what you see? You only heard what you believed you were hearing, without expecting the unknown. It's called scotoma."

It was cool being taught a lesson by literally everyone who walked into my life, but I frankly wasn't ready for feel-good 90s-sitcom-Hell right now. "I don't care about scotoma." I replied bitterly.

��I don't care much for driving." He retorted with another smug expression. "Ready to tell me the story now?"

It really didn't involve him, and I wasn't a fan of how he talked like the world's most pretentious philosopher. I just shrugged in response as he walked up to his car, a terrible-looking Dodge Caravan.

I was expecting him to hold my silence against me. "You still going to drive me home?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It's the right thing to do. It's amazing how many people forget how people are human beings. Now where do you live?"

I gave him my address and he cocked his head. "You might have to give me directions… I've never been there."

The only things I said to him on the ride home were directions. Occasionally he would ask me a question that was obviously linked to the event that took place this afternoon, and I ignored it. He didn't seem to mind.

"I assume this is your place?" He finally asked me. I nodded and he pulled right into the driveway.

"Alrighty, glad to see you got home safe." He said warmly.

"Yeah." I replied and opened the door, undoing the seatbelt and grabbing my backpack. I was halfway out of the car as he spoke again.

"And don't worry." He added. "You're not the first, and definitely not the last, to be rejected by Nicole. Don't take it personally."

I stopped right where I was, and looked back at him. He took this as a sign and nodded sympathetically. After staring at him for a bit, I got back in the car with him. "What do you mean?" I asked as I closed the door.

He laughed and shut the car off. "Now you're interested, huh?" He commented dryly, leaning his car seat back. "Yuppers. Ever since Jeff Love broke it off with her a year ago, she hasn't been with a guy since."

I thought back to that conversation she and I shared on the way to May's house. That quickly turned into me remembering her telling me not to be an asshole to May, and I immediately flushed it from my mind. "She's never had sex with anyone since?" I asked.

"Woah!" He gave me an incredulous look. "Wow, grade nines move fast these days. When I was your age, I don't think I knew that sex existed." I rolled my eyes. He was only three years older than me. "That's not what I meant. I meant she never had a boyfriend since. It's like he broke her, though things got worse for her this September. Not sure why."

Mitch. That was why.

"I'm sure she's had sex since Jeff." He continued. "I don't blame you for not knowing since you're a grade nine and all, but if word around the school is to be believed, she's kind of a slut."

"She's not." Was all I replied.

He chuckled. "That's cute of you to think that, but believe me, she is. It's not a bad thing inherently to be a slut, but that's what she is. Even so, guys upon guys have been asking her out, wanting a more emotional connection, and she's rejected every one."

"Including you?" I asked.

He laughed again. "Nope. I know my level, and it's certainly not hers. I'm not what you call a popular guy. You think a guy with this kind of hair is popular?"

He kind of looked like a more unkempt version of Tarzan, dressed like a goth – all black. What a weirdo. I shrugged.

"But I see that as my advantage. I'm the eye in the sky. When you're popular, you're the center of attention. But I'm not, so I can observe whoever I want, and do what I want, without being noticed. Nicole is a fascinating one. Then again, so is Jerome…"

"What's your point?" I asked him impatiently.

"Point? Didn't realize I had one. The closest thing I have to a point is, don't be disappointed. It's not you. Nicole is most likely never going to sleep with you."

I stifled a laugh.

"Plus, you didn't hear this from me, but she is going to crash and burn someday. She can keep her insecurities close to her throughout high school, but one day, she's going to blow, and nobody short of someone who does it for a living can save her at this point." He continued. "Especially someone who goes after one girl one minute, then another the next." He smiled at me, challenging me.

"That's not how it happened!" I protested.

"Then how did it happen?" He asked, grinning.

"Megan and I had a thing, and a few weeks later, May confessed she liked me. Megan showed up, said a lot of out-of-context stuff. That's all."

Paul was nodding until a thought struck him, leaving him with a confused look on his face. "Where does Nicole come into this?"

"What do you care?" I asked him, though less angrily at this point.

"I'm curious." He replied with a shrug. "Everyone has a story. You're under no obligation to tell me yours, but I'm listening."

I sighed. "We're just friends." I replied. "She got pissed with me over how the whole Megan and May thing blew up."

"And May's own favorite cousin isn't even annoyed. Refreshing, isn't it?" He leaned back into his chair and grinned at me.

I paused. "You're her only cousin, aren't you?"

"Yup." He replied, then laughed. I joined in.

"Feel better?" He asked me after a silence.

"Nicole doesn't wanna talk to me." I admitted.

"Well, guessing Nicole's morale, I think she wants you to take something from this." Paul said thoughtfully. "Nicole's sense of justice may not always be right, but god damn is it strong. She's the type of person I could see in those women and gender studies classes in the future."

I nodded.

"She might be right." He continued.

"Huh?"

"Look at you. No offense, you're a little bit of a mess because one friend won't talk to you. Let me guess, you didn't have many friends in the past, did you?"

I shook my head no. "How are you doing this?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I want to be a psychologist when I'm older. Y'know, solve people's problems from the inside."

"Okay." I said. "So what should I do?"

"I'm no expert, but I think a little time away from her might do you well, to be honest. It sounds like you're overly dependent on her, and that can lead to little individuality in your future. Be your own person and accept the time to yourself."

I was listening, but I wasn't sure if that applied to me. It was at that moment that it dawned on me how emotionally tired I was, to the point where I stopped caring about anything. As a result, I shrugged and opened the door again.

"You live near here?" I asked, trying to make little conversation as I exited the car.

"Nope!" He replied. "I actually live on the other side of the school."

"…Wasn't this out of your way then?" I asked. "Like, twenty minutes out of your way? Forty going back?"

He shrugged. "You needed a ride home!" He said nonchalantly.

I smiled. What he did was genuinely sweet. "Thanks for the ride, Paul." I told him.

"No worries." He smiled back. "Hope everything goes well. Later!"

Yeah, everything going well. Good one. I sighed as I watched the car disappear from view, then with another sigh, walked towards my home. Paul's speech helped a bit, but no amount of pretentious philosophy could change the fact that the three most important girls in my life were gone, indefinitely. To say that sucked would have been an understatement, like saying Amelia Earhart was a little lost.

Hey I texted to Carson, hoping to find some comfort in just about the one friend I had left.

Hey buddy! You need to step up your game ;) Came the reply. It certainly wasn't the response I was expecting.

What? I simply asked him in response.

Guess who managed to secure another date with May? ;)

Well then. Fucking well then. That was hypocrisy if I ever saw it. Sure, May, by all means get mad at me and then turn around and do the exact same thing. I was tempted to text back what May had done with me just today, but after readying the message I thought, why? What would that do except prove that I was no better than Megan? With the umpteenth sigh I made that day, I texted back Way to go, dude!, put the phone down and pulled out my homework.